"So after reading your essay, I knew that this club was the perfect fit for you to do right by others and give without thought of returns." Hiratsuka marched through the desolate corridor, her white lab coat swishing around her knees. I swear she's constantly trying to look like a cool anime character. From the long coat, vest, and formal pants, plus the sports car she owns (judging by the keys on her desk), she's like a character made of overdone (but still pretty cool) tropes.

While we walked, I could hear footsteps following us from approximately, thirty-five meters away. They were stepping lightly, most likely female, with no distinct pattern to discern identity from, but likely of around average weight judging by the amount of sound each step produces.

Hiratsuka walked purposefully to a sliding door at the end of a hallway. I could hear the aforementioned keys jangling in her pocket before we stopped. The footsteps trailing us stopped too, confirming that we were likely being followed. Probably by a student needing to talk to the teacher beside me, but too shy to walk over and interrupt.

You have my sympathy, fellow loser. It is hard to build up the confidence to approach people, I know that game. It's even harder if the last time didn't go well.

Hiratsuka slid open the door, reaching over with her left arm, suddenly walking in like she owned the place. I could hear the amusement in her voice as she spoke to the room's only other occupant, "Hey Yukinoshita I brought you a member for the club."

I followed her into the room, after a moment of enjoying the spring breeze. The room in question was like all the other school rooms. Though the lone occupant inside did help distinguish it. With chairs on desks and open windows, the atmosphere was particularly special neither was it unpleasant. The label, neither particularly special nor unpleasant, was also an apt way to describe the expression on the girl inside's face.

Her expression was neutral but colored with a hint of annoyance. "Sensei, I asked in the future that you please knock. You keep saying that you will but never actually change."

Hiratsuka huffed slightly, "You never answer when I do knock, so I just come in."

"You never give me time after knocking." The young woman responded before shifting her gaze over to me. She scanned me and I offered a nod. She recoiled slightly. "This is the guy who you want to put alone with me in a room. I'm sorry Hiratsuka-sensei, I can not accept him into the club, his lecherous gaze fills me with dread.

So this is how she wants to play it. Pretending to be open to all but really just locking herself away in an ivory tower. Okay, cool. It's not like I don't have experience with these sorts of people. This little princess may think she's special but there were a dozen of her at Shuuchin. And as it so happens I've dealt the final boss of ice princesses, Kaguya Shinomiya, the ice empress.

But, at the same time just because I have experience dealing with these kinds of people doesn't mean I want to deal with them some more. Okay, time to act a little, "Hey, Hiratsuka-Sensei, if she doesn't want me in the club, I won't join." This is good just keep playing the nice guy. "I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable." Haha, nice, looks like Hiratsuka is buying it. Now look at the ice princess if I'm right now she'll tell me to go and I'll be home before four.

"Alright, I feel I can trust him, here's the form to join the service club." She spoke, avoiding eye contact.

What is going on? She was supposed to offer me an opportunity to leave, I had given both of us the perfect out and now she ruins it. What the hell? This just absolutely sucks.

Hiratsuka clapped a hand on my shoulder pushing me forward slightly as the girl pulled out a piece of paper from a folder in her bag. I reluctantly shuffled over, taking a chair off of a desk and placing it down next to the table. I pulled a pen from my bag as I sat down, absent-mindedly filling out the form while Hiratsuka and Yukinoshita talked.

"What made you think he was a good fit for the service club, Hiratsuka-Sensei?" Yukinoshita spoke, shooting glacial glares at me. Why are you mad at me? You were the one who turned down a perfectly easy way to be rid of each other.

"An essay he wrote about in youth the friends he admired who did right by others and gave freely. When I read it, it sounded almost like your own doctrine of 'Noblesse Oblige.'" Hiratsuka did air quotes on the last phrases and I could almost see the girl's hackles rising. Speaking of that I really need to stop referring to her as the girl.

"What's your name?" I asked putting an end to the petulant back-and-forth.

The girl blinked, "I'm Yukinoshita Yukino, though it is rude to ask a name without giving your own, I shall forgive your infraction in etiquette as judging by your mannerisms you were never taught." Oh, it is on. My mind flashed to a slave driver in the form of a pink-haired high school girl. My hellish week of training would not be going to waste.

"There is nothing to forgive, in fact, I forgive you for both of your breaches of etiquette. Firstly, the lack of introduction," She made to protest but I plowed ahead without heeding it. "as the host the duty of making introductions would have fallen to you. You however neglected your duty as a good host and then tried to pass off a breach in your conduct, as a breach in mine. That is the least honorable or polite thing to do, however, I forgive you; for judging by your mannerisms, you were never taught these things." I finished a smug smirk worming its way onto my face as Yukinoshita's face was white with ice-cold fury, blue eyes hard as stone.

Though, before she could respond Hiratsuka excused herself, "Alright, you kids seem to have hit it off, well that's good. My work here is done." She power walked out the door, in the way one does to flee as fast as possible but also disguise that they're fleeing at all. Coward, though somewhat understandable, you were probably going to get caught in the crossfire eventually if you stuck around. As the lowest form of life, a lawyer, fleeing and sneaking is just a part of the job so it would be hypocritical to judge. However, I'm perfectly fine with being a hypocrite if it serves to benefit my needs.

Yukinoshita also watched her go, blue orbs almost amused by the fleeing. She glared at me one last time as if that would somehow make her less in the wrong, then sighed. She proceeded to pick up her paperback from her desk and began reading once more.

I simply observed her for a minute, studying her (admittedly attractive) features. While reflecting on all the new information I had observed or deduced. Hiratsuka is single, she lives alone and is left-handed. Denoted by lack of ring along with the number of instant meals in her desk's trash can. She has no one to go home to, so she stays late eating instant food. She has a license which is also somewhat irregular and again speaks to a previous lack of interest in dating. Seeing as how the licensing process in japan can take somewhere up to twenty-four months. She enjoys anime judging by the commemorative pen with Jotaro on it. She smokes cigarettes and wears lavender perfume to try and cover it up. As for all my other guesses, I don't have enough collected evidence to support them yet.

Now for Yukinoshita, she is wealthy which is denoted by speech patterns and the offense taken when corrected on etiquette. Likely something she takes pride in. Likely well-traveled as her pronunciation of 'Noblesse Oblige' was near perfect. Naturally attractive but does little to augment said attractiveness. She wears no make-up and only ties ribbons in her hair which takes little time. She has little distinct odor to her, so likely doesn't wear perfume. She is right-handed like me, observable when she reached into the bag and when she signed her name on that sheet. Speaking of sheets, she likely has some experience handling paperwork seeing as she was somewhat surprised by how fast I finished the three sheets needed to join the club. I'm the descendant of a legal aid and software engineer, monotonous data entry is in my DNA. She also acted against my expectations of her when she ended up accepting me into the club. All other theories on her currently lack evidence to support them.

Since she was reading, I might as well do a little reading of my own. I opened up my school bag and pulled out, some spare case files I had brought to school in case I got bored. I began flipping through them committing them all to memory. This continued for about 15 minutes, just us two flipping the pages in our respective reading materials. When she finally spoke first, "What are you hoping to get out of this club? I need to know to provide you the opportunities you desire."

I responded in a monotone. Annoyed at the way she spoke to me like I was being done some huge favor just getting to be near her. "Well, I know very little about how this club functions. Just that it's based on some old Norman royalty's philosophy and that Hiratsuka-Sensei thinks it will somehow help me."

Her face, which so far had only expressed various degrees of hostility, settled into something that one may naively mistake for friendly. It was more joy at being able to ooze condescension toward me, but because I was still curious to know how this club operates I kept my face blank and mouth shut.

"Well, since Noblesse Oblige has kept on being thrown around, I guess I'll give you my definition of it." She took a breath, maybe she has poor stamina, so far results are inconclusive. She then continued. "To me, it means that those with more hold an obligation to provide education and the tools needed for those worse off than them to succeed. The service club is based around that principle along with the idea that if you give a man a fish he'll eat for a day, but if you teach a man to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime."

She waited for my reaction, so I nodded to mollify her, she then continued. "I founded the service club to help teach other students how to be self-sufficient. Now you're here and you can help with that mission." I kept my bemused smile hidden as I decided to cut her ego down a little.

"So, how many students have you helped so far? You seem confident, so you must have helped at least a few." Her self-satisfied smile fell away and I was reminded that this wasn't Shuuchin anymore. Not everyone needed to be undercut all the time. My bemusement faded, replaced by guilt and something maybe like hope. Maybe things can be different here.

Before we could resume our verbal duel, and Yukinoshita could try to return fire; the door opened, and in walked my pink-haired observer from before. "Yahallo!" She called out before her gaze settled on me.

"Ehhhh, what is Hikki doing here?" She cried out, honestly, I haven't spent enough time to know if she is the stalker or is genuine in her surprise.

Wait, is Hikki supposed to be some stupid version of my name. What's up with that? All this work to elevate my family status to have it blown up by some pinkette bimbo's dumb nicknames. Yukinoshita stepped in to deal with the odd girl, "Excuse me, Yuigahama, is there something the service club can help you with?" Gotta say, am appreciating Yukinoshita a little more.

Yuigahama turned pink, "Well there's this guy I like and I want to bake him cookies but I'm no good at it." She struggled to make eye contact with either of us, sort of like a guilty dog.

I leaned back, stretching slightly as Yukinoshita continued to handle, Yuigahama. "Okay, Yuigahama, we the service club can help you with your request?"

Yuigahama bounced in place, which was a quite captivating sight, "I'm so glad Hiratsuka-Sensei told me about this club that grants wishes, it's so cool." At her elated words, Yukinoshita stilled.

"We don't grant wishes we teach individu-" I interjected before I had to listen to her spiel again. "We teach a man to fish instead of giving him a fish. I.E. teaching you to bake not making the cookies for you." I stood up ignoring Yukinoshita's offended glare. I shouldered the strap of my bag and began walking towards the nearest Home Economics Kitchen. Yuigahama began to follow me and at this point, it hardly mattered if she wanted to because I knew Yukinoshita would not be far behind.

Lo and behold, she had jogged to catch up, breathing slightly heavier than usual, I guess I was right, she does have poor stamina. I wonder what the disparity is between her VO2 max and the average girl's.

We kept walking as Yukinoshita caught her breath then immediately wasted it reprimanding me. "Honestly, Hikigaya, I'm the leader of this club don't just go over my head like that and don't interrupt me. That was incredibly rude. I kept walking and kept tuning her out, just letting her tire herself out. That is until she insulted something I actually took pride in. "Besides, I'm the experienced chef here, so there's no reason for you to be involved past maybe being a taste tester." I stiffened slightly as she continued. "You know nothing about cooking and yet you tried to take the lead. It's honestly gross."

"You know what Yukinoshita, I'm probably a better chef than you. I cook every single day and I know quite a bit about the culinary arts as a whole." I responded voice flecked with irritation.

She scoffed, "Oh please, there's no way you'd ever beat me."

I was just as derisive in response, "I'd bet 5,000 dollars USD. That Yuigahama finds my cooking both more instructive and more delicious." Both Yuigahama and Yukinoshita paused, wide-eyed, at my declaration so I hastily amended myself, "It's approximately half a million yen. So relatively significant." Silly me, I forgot that I wasn't at Shuuchin anymore, there the standard currency to exchange, in betting and competition, was American Dollars.

Yuigahama began to speak up, "Umm, Hikki that's really okay I'm sure you're a good cook too, and that both of you can teach me a lot." I grudgingly backed down, as did Yukinoshita who had likely been preparing to accept my little wager.

We walked the last few hallways to the home economics kitchen, me in silence, the two girls next to me chatting. Yuigahama was socially graceful and was able to repeatedly cut through Yukinoshita's acerbic comments.

When we reached the kitchen, me and Yukinoshita, began setting up our stations to bake while directing Yuigahama to sit and observe. Yukinoshita and I eventually agreed on the rules of the contest, thirty minutes total to prepare dough and sheets, one type of cookie, then 30 more idle minutes before serving. During the second thirty minutes, we would each get fifteen to teach.

Yuigahama started the timer and the race was on. Neither of us scrambled though, we each carefully picked up, measured, and added ingredients. The first thirty minutes seemed to fly right by. I was already halfway and had just put the cookie dough in the freezer. Yukinoshita glanced over but ultimately disregarded my actions and moved on.

The egg timer began shrilly beeping and the first thirty minutes were now up. To begin I had let Yukinoshita pick if she went first or second. She had chosen first, after we agreed she'd smiled and said that she'd have taught all the basics before the beginning of an explanation could leave my mouth.

I watched her talk Yuigahama through most of the basics before the timer went off and I just couldn't wipe the grin off my face. This went even better than I could've imagined. Now I could teach the advanced stuff, seem more experienced and the impact of my lesson would be fresh as Yuigahama ate my cookies.

"Yuigahama, to begin do you know what the most important ingredients for baking around the world are."

"Uhhhhh," She was struggling scared of looking stupid.

I tried my best impression of the charming professor I remembered was always a hit with students. "Relax, there are no wrong answers I just want to hear what you think." I gave the classic educator's chuckle and turned around to off-put her less with my weird eyes.

"Eggs, milk, and ummm butter, and uhhhh sugar." She trailed off, looking at me with wide puppy dog eyes. Like owner like pet, I guess.

"Good job, those are definitely some great answers. For cookies, the star of the show is the interaction between the egg's amino acids and sugar. This is called the Maillard reaction and also occurs in bread and seared steak. The protein itself browns providing the rich nutty flavor you know and love." I continued like this, explaining the intricacies of cookies and their preparation along with giving some justification to techniques Yukinoshita had taught her. "You see you would beat the mixture in his pattern in order to introduce more air into the mixture. Great job, you're a lot better at this than you give yourself credit for."

Yuigahama was so engrossed with testing techniques that I had taught her that she barely noticed when the timer went off, signaling the end of my lesson. Yukinoshita stopped the lesson, eyes blazing and fists clenched.

Yuigahama tried to move forward away from the angry girl, but all the tension building was interrupted by the ringing of my bell warning me to take my cookies off, I walked over to my oven as Yukinoshita's timer went off. With five minutes to go, I placed mine in the fridge while she placed her's on a wire rack. After three minutes I placed mine in the freezer. With fifteen seconds left I placed mine on a plate as Yukinoshita did similarly. We both stepped away as the egg timers wrung and Yuigahama skipped over to inspect our work. She bit into Yukinoshita's, after gushing over how cute they were, and gave a little moan of happiness that saw both chefs blushing, though we'll both deny it. She then perambulated my way and remarked how pretty mine were.

Of course, they're pretty dummy. I've been making lunches for a girl since before middle school. Komachi's cuteness dictates that in her food absolute cuteness should always be present. I'm a paltry poor replacement for parents but making a cute lunch is something even I can do.

When she bit into my food Yuigahama gave a gasp of delight declaring, 'Hikki's food is like so super-delicious!'

As Yuigahama deliberated, the smugness I'd enjoyed so far, only grew bigger. This was like when I found the dagger in law or in reviewing evidence that would allow my arguments a better foothold. This feeling was better than anything else that I'd ever experienced. Yuigahama kept sending guilty glances to a down-trodden-looking Yukinoshita. When she declared a verdict she pointed at me for teaching but then pointed at Yukinoshita for taste. We both hung our heads. Neither side had won today we had both managed to tie. Though as Yui laughed and ate cookies, Yukinoshita asked for advice on her pedagogical skills and offered baking tips in return, I couldn't help but think, maybe this isn't so bad.

If this is what normal life looks like then it's no more wrong than I expected.

Maybe, I'll try Yukinoshita's recipe with Komachi tonight.

(AN:) Thanks for all the feedback.

TheAbyssWatcher: Never fear, I did not plan on shipping 8man & Hiratsuka. Though, I haven't yet decided how platonically close they will be throughout this story. Yes, she did subtly blackmail him but that seems par for the course for a teacher who is willing to hit her students. Also, yes the parents of Yukinoshita and Hayama are aware of a legal prodigy by the name of Hikigaya, but the parents were far more interested than the kids and 8man's identity is still somewhat unknown. To clear something up he was the ultimate legal consultant but couldn't appear in court due to his age and lack of a law degree.

BorderLand: Yes, in this story 8man will have little to no problem ripping through anything he may face at Sobu. The question is more if he has any real desire to do so. However, he does desire peace, and also his delve into the law has left him less concerned about high school drama in general. Yes, he does have a few friends at Shuuchin but in the world that he's from friends are a rare and powerful commodity. It's more like some powerful people owe him favors and/or are willing to bargain in exchange for use of his elite skill set.