Chapter 17
Jennie
I wince as I sit in my new comfy desk chair. The chair may be comfortable but it does nothing to ease the ache between my legs. It's all Lisa's fault. Last night, she fucked me until I kicked her out. I needed sleep, and if she stayed in my bed, neither of us would get it.
God, did she ever fuck me, though.
Life after Kai has been cold and difficult. But last night, I was on fire. Everything was easy. For once in a really long time, I relaxed and enjoyed myself.
A little too much.
With a grunt of frustration, I dig around in my purse to locate the morning-after pill I bought on the way to work this morning. I'm praying to God she's clean because we had sex carelessly four times without a condom. I quickly down the pill with my water bottle and put my purse away.
Heat creeps up my neck as I steal a glance toward her office. The door is closed, and I can hear Bambam's deep voice booming on the other side. Whatever they're talking about doesn't seem like it's good.
Once my computer is finally powered up, I find I have two emails waiting for me. The first is from Chanwoo and the second is from Lisa. I ignore Ms. Fuck-A-Lot and open the important one. Chanwoo's sent me a Word document, listing all of all my new duties. I already do everything on the list each day, aside from manage people. After I reply to him that I received it and save it for easy access, I open Lisa's email.
Jennie,
Last night was incredible. YOU are incredible. I want to take you to lunch.
Lisa
I smile because she's pretty incredible too. After my ex, I should be hesitant to dive right into something with someone—my boss no less—so quickly, especially considering she's extremely attentive but I can't help myself. Her magnetism draws me in.
Kai was the same way…
I squash the thought because I refuse to let my past dictate my future. Lisa is generous and thoughtful and sweet. She's not psychotic. I've worked for her for six long years, and although she'd been nicknamed Mad Man for her eccentric ways, not one time had I thought she was an evil person.
She's just hyper-focused.
Obsessive about her company.
Driven to succeed.
But not a possessive lunatic.
I'm still trying to convince myself when Lisa's office door creaks open, and Bambam steps out. His gaze darts over to mine. Guilt shines in his eyes. My heart rate speeds up, and I frown at him. He gives me a quick wave in greeting before stalking back to his office. I'm still staring at him when Lisa comes sauntering out. She's scowling until she sees me. All irritation melts from her expression as her face lights up. And dammit, I feel my face lighting up too. I love how my presence seems to cheer her up.
"Good morning," I say with a smile.
She strolls over to my desk and sits on the edge. When she reaches out to toy with a strand of my hair, my eyes flutter closed and I exhale a tiny sigh. Her fingertips brush along my jaw and down my throat. I pop my eyes open when she touches the string of pearls my mother gave to me as a high school graduation present.
"I like this necklace on you," she praises, her dark brows pulled together as she inspects my jewelry. This necklace was the only thing I was able to take with me when I ran away from Kai because I happened to be wearing it that day.
My heart is thundering because, God, she smells delicious and she's touching me intimately, despite our workplace setting. Warning bells are going off inside my head because all it takes is the wrong person seeing our exchange to give me hell. Unfortunately for me, I've never been one to heed warnings very well and tend to float off into the deep end without a raft.
Lisa will save me.
Once, I thought Kai would too.
A thumb brushes against my bottom lip and my eyes dart to her. Her eyes are narrowed as she scrutinizes me. Seconds pass by—tick, tick, tick—as I remain under her microscope. The thing with Lisa is, it's almost as if she can see right into my head. As if she knows exactly what's running through my mind. I feel naked and exposed around her.
"Are you sore?" she questions, her voice husky. Her eyes flicker with heat that burns its way straight to my core.
I jerk my gaze around the office but nobody is paying attention. "Yes," I admit with a whisper.
A smug grin tugs at her mouth. "Good. I like the idea of you thinking about my big cock every time you sit down."
"Lisa!" I hiss and once again do a visual sweep of the office for nosy co-workers.
She shrugs. "What? I'm just being honest. How busy are you right now?"
This feels like a trick question, and like the naïve girl I am, I follow her right into the proverbial white van where she promises candy and puppies. "Not very busy."
"Good," she says with a wolfish grin that has my panties becoming wet between my thighs. "I need your assistance in my office."
She stands and turns away to walk back to her room. My gaze roams her fit body that looks too perfect in a suit. It's a good thing I'm leaving this company soon because having to stare at her each day looking good enough to eat is quite distracting.
I'll be leaving soon.
Several days ago, I'd have been thrilled.
But that was all before Lisa finally noticed me.
Guilt and indecision wars within me. She's already done so much for me. We've gone from co-workers to friends to lovers in a matter of days. Lisa Manoban is so intense that I've easily been swept up into her vortex.
How will it feel when I finally crawl my way out?
Will I be the same?
Rising from my chair, I push away those thoughts for now as I stride into her office and close the door behind me.
"Lock it."
Her rough command sends shivers through my body. I flip the lock and regard her with my hands on my hips.
"What do you need help with?" I question, my voice raw and shaky.
She sheds her jacket and hangs it on the back of her chair. The powder blue dress shirt she's wearing today molds perfectly against her skin. I can see her tattoos through the fabric and it sends another thrill shooting through me.
"Lisa," I try again, my voice rising. "What do you need?"
She arches a brow at me and pins me with a smoldering glare. "You know what I need."
As I choke on my words, she unbuttons her shirt at her wrist and begins rolling up her sleeve. I find myself staring at her wrist of all things with my mouth watering for a taste. She continues on with the other side. Then, she begins working at the knot on her navy-colored tie.
My body is about to combust. Between my thighs, my panties are drenched. Hardened nipples scratch against my bra. And an internal fire alights my flesh from the inside out. She sheds the tie and undoes the first two buttons before placing her hands on her hips to mimic my position.
"I need you to look over some contracts with me. I want some advice," she says as she strolls over to sit in her chair. I'm so dumbfounded by the quick turn of events that it takes me a second for my mind to catch up to her words.
"Contracts?" I murmur.
Her dark brow arches up again, and she smiles crookedly at me. "Contracts." Then her gaze narrows as she roams my body. "You didn't think we were going to fuck in here, did you? With everyone listening?"
I swallow and shake my head before hurrying over to the seat across from her desk. Snagging the nearest folder on her desk, I snap it open and stare at the words on a page. My brain is running a hundred miles per hour. Nothing on the page makes sense.
She reaches across the desk and snags my wrist. I let out a yelp when she pulls my hand to her face. Then, in a shocking move, she sucks on my middle finger. I dart my gaze to her blazing one, my lips parted open in surprise. Her tongue teases the underside of my finger like she's done on my clit which has a low moan escaping me.
"Baby," she growls and playfully bites my flesh before pulling away. "I most definitely want to fuck you. Right here on this desk. I want to make you scream. I want your pussy to drip all over these files and smear the ink. Jennie, I want my cock buried so deep in your sore cunt that you beg me to stop." Another growl. "But that's the thing, beautiful, I wouldn't be able to stop. I'd fuck you all day over and over. You'd be weak from all the orgasms, and I'd be worthless to run this company. Together, we're explosive." She kisses the tip of my finger. "Which is why the fireworks have to stay outside of this building."
I swallow and nod. "You drive me crazy with the way you talk…"
"I know." She winks and flashes me a knowing grin before releasing me.
Now that I know I won't be getting spread out over the desk and feasted upon like a Thanksgiving dinner, I can focus. Focus. Focus.
Jennie, focus.
~
"I had a pet bird once," she murmurs, her voice soft.
My fingers had been stroking circles on her bare stomach. "Mmm?" I look up to find her staring up at my bedroom ceiling, lost in thought. After a productive day at work, she took me out for sake and sushi. Then, we ended up in my bed where she made me come so hard I nearly forgot my name.
But I didn't forget the condom.
I managed to throw one at her and even ignored her groans of complaint.
The sex was amazing.
This cuddling thing, though, is even better. I'd missed human connection. Simple kissing and touching.
"I'd been hunting quail with my dad. We killed a mother. She left behind a squawking baby bird. My father was pissed when I told him I was going to keep it as a pet," she tells me gruffly. "I hardly ever acted out against my father. But I wanted it, Jennie. I needed it. Something about that bird spoke to me."
I smile because her caring for a little bird is sweet. "How old were you?"
"Nine." Her hand covers mine and she rubs her thumb along my flesh. "I took it home. Named it Wail the Quail." We both laugh. "Wail was loud and needy. But I loved him. I'd marched my butt down to the library and checked out every book I could find on quails. I learned about their feeding, nesting, sleep habits. Everything there was to know about Wail, I made it my job to figure out."
"That's so sweet," I say, leaning forward to kiss her jaw.
She's quiet for a moment before speaking. "I loved that bird. Dad knew it." Her voice grows cold, sending shards of ice poking at me. "One day, Mom cooked a nice dinner. As we were eating, Dad not-so-kindly pointed out that we were eating Wail's mother."
I tense and stare at her. Her eyes are clenched shut and her nostrils flare with fury. I kiss her again in hopes to calm her, but it doesn't work. A ripple of rage quakes through her.
"When I stood from the table and told him I would not eat my pet's mother, he threatened to murder Wail if I didn't eat the meat. With tears in my eyes, I choked down that bird. Mom had mentally checked out, staring at her plate and not touching the meat she'd prepared." Her voice cracks which causes tears to well in my eyes.
"I'm so sorry," I whisper.
She swallows. "When I finished, I went back to my room. I'd felt so guilty and wanted to apologize to my bird but…"
My heart pounds in my chest. "What?"
"He wasn't there," she chokes out. "Wail was gone."
A tear leaks out of my eye and I sit up. My palm strokes her cheek. "Where did he go?"
Her eyes are hard when they meet mine. "My father said my bird stunk up our house. He killed my bird. Dad plucked the feathers and cleaned his carcass. Handed it to my mother and made her cook it up."
"No…"
"She didn't know," she murmurs. "Always doing what he asked of her. But I didn't eat Wail's mom. I ate Wail."
I press a kiss to her mouth. Soft kisses. Comforting kisses. Over and over again because I don't want her to think about her asshole father. She's still at first, but when I straddle her to kiss her harder, she parts her mouth to meet my tongue with her. Her fingers spear into my hair to guide our kiss.
A moan escapes me when her hard cock rubs against my ass. When she reaches between us, I lift my body and let her guide herself into me again. My body aches from all the sex we've had, but this feels different. Not just fucking. Something else. I slide up and down on her thick length as my gaze meets her. Sadness lingers in her eyes, but the hunger she always seems to have for me slides into the forefront. Her fingers find my hips. She grips them almost to the point of pain as she lifts her hips to drive into me.
"Lisa," I moan as my head tilts back. One of her hands slips to my breast while the other begins massaging my clit. I ride her wildly until an orgasm is rippling through me, causing every muscle in me to spasm. I'm trying to find the sense to slide off of her before she comes, but then she's gripping my hips again. With hard, measured thrusts, she seeks out her own climax. And with a groan on her end, I feel her heat surge into me.
Fuck.
Why am I so careless with her?
She yanks me to her, and I fall hard against her. Our heartbeats are thundering against one another through our chests. Her fingers tangle in my hair as she whispers sweet nothings against the shell of my ear through my messy hair.
You're mine.
I want you forever.
Let me keep you.
Mine.
Let me love you.
Forever.
The words are intense and spoken quickly, but I drink them up. I greedily take them all as though I have no self-control around like her. They offer intensity and I devour it as if it nourishes me somehow. Kai fed me this same way. It's what I'm attracted to.
This attraction was, at one time, nearly fatal.
As my eyes drift close, my thoughts drift to the night I ran and never looked back.
"This way, Letty Spaghetti," Kai grumbles as he drags me by my wrist down the dilapidated hallway of the apartment building we came to.
I tug at the short hem of my dress but it's so tight it hardly moves. I settle for fingering my pearls that belonged to Momma in a nervous manner. Kai and I have been playing this game for months. The sane part of my brain that survives when the pills wear off tells me I'm a prostitute. This is not my boyfriend. He's my pimp. But prostitutes get paid, don't they? What does it make me if he forces me to have sex and I see nothing in return?
A slave.
It makes me his damn sex slave.
Anger begins to bubble up inside me. Earlier when he shoved the pill into my mouth, I tucked it into the side of my mouth between my teeth and cheek. He's so used to me swallowing without complaint that when he looked, he didn't really look. Just a simple glance. I managed to pull it out on the walk down to the car and tossed it into the bushes.
My brain is clear.
My heart is angry.
My soul is broken.
He stops in front of a door and knocks loudly. A large black man answers the door wearing a tight white wife beater, a beanie on his head, and a baggy pair of jeans that hang several inches off his hips showing his blue boxers.
"Kai, my man," he greets in a deep voice. "I got your money, dawg." He pulls a wad of bills rubber banded together and hands it to Kai.
Kai nods and fist bumps the guy. "I knew you were good for it, Fuzz."
The guy named Fuzz lets his gaze roam over to me. "Your girlfriend? Damn, she fine."
"Could be yours for the night if you got more cash," Kai tells him.
Fuzz's easygoing features harden as he steps aside to inspect me as I cower behind Kai. He lets out a whistle of appreciation. "Shit, Kai, she's got some fine-ass legs. Her cunt tight?"
I shudder at his crude words. Normally, I'm high off my ass by the time we get to these men he sells me to. Awareness prickles through me. I wish I were fucked up right now.
"The tightest," Kai brags, a lingering hint of possessiveness in his tone.
"How much?" Fuzz questions as he blatantly eye-fucks my tits.
"How much you got?"
Fuzz laughs. "You took all my money, man."
"You got any brown left?" Kai asks.
"I got a gram or two," Fuzz tells him, his gaze never leaving the way my dress hugs my tits.
"I need it."
I swallow and gape at him. Surely he's not selling my body for a couple of grams of crystal meth.
"Come in, man, shit's over there," Fuzz says and points to the couch.
Kai drags me into the dingy and trashed apartment by my wrist. Terror spikes through me. I don't like this guy Fuzz and the way he stares at me as if he wants to hurt me.
"You got twenty minutes with her," Kai tells him as he sits on the lumpy sofa and reaches for the tray of drugs. "No anal."
Fuzz lets out a whistle before grabbing me from behind. I scream when I'm lifted off the floor and carried into the bedroom. Kai's laugh sends ice shooting through my veins. This is an all-time low for him. So many times he's hurt me but this betrayal runs deep.
Once inside the bedroom that reeks of body odor, I'm shoved to the floor. Fuzz shuts the door behind him and starts ripping off his shirt. He's giant and solid muscle. It's the evil glint in his eyes that has me scrambling away. I'm halfway toward the window when he grabs me by my hair and hauls me over to the bed. The screams ripping from me are otherworldly as he shoves me over the edge of the stinky stained mattress. He rips my dress up over my hips exposing my bare ass to him.
"No anal," he mimics as he begins unbuckling his pants.
Tears stream down my cheeks and I once again try to claw my way away from him. He's strong as he presses the back of my head down against the mattress with his massive hand. I'm squirming but it doesn't stop him from pushing his fat erection into my dry pussy. I sob and claw my fingernails into the soiled mattress but to no avail. He drives into me brutally. His grunts and moans are like alcohol in a cut, stinging me from the outside in.
"This ass is so fucking hot," he tells me as he slams into me. "I'm going to hit it too."
I start screaming for Kai. Begging him to save me. Fuzz pulls out of my pussy and begins pushing the head of his cock against my asshole. Fire burns through me from the tiny intrusion. I'm fearful for when he manages to get all the way in.
"K-Kai, p-please," I sob.
Pain, excruciating and all-consuming, explodes within me when Fuzz pushes all the way into me. I black out but the fire won't let me go. It holds me just out of reach from passing out all the way. Some sick torturous game.
I will myself to think about anything other than the brutalization but I can't. All I can think about is Fuzz's giant cock in my ass while my boyfriend ignores my screams.
I start to truly black out when I hear a slam. Then a grunt. The pain seems to lessen the moment Fuzz pulls out.
Crack! Crack! Crack!
I manage to roll over to my side, wincing in pain. Kai has Fuzz by the throat as he slams his fist over and over again into the man's face.
"I. Said. No. Anal," Kai roars, gripping Fuzz by the throat and then slamming his head into the edge of a dresser.
Pop! Pop! Pop!
Sickening sounds of crunching bone and puncturing flesh cause me to vomit. Bile spews all over the mattress as tears blur the scene before me. Kai doesn't stop for what seems like forever.
He lets go of Fuzz who hits the floor with a thud. When Kai's eyes meet mine, they're dilated and wild from the drugs. He winks at me before stalking out of the room. I'm shaking so badly but I manage to sit up on my side. When I glance out of the room, I'm horrified to see Kai prepping another syringe. I drag my gaze to the floor. Fuzz, or what's left of him, faces the ceiling. His face is crushed in and he's not breathing or moving.
Kai killed him.
He's going to kill me one day soon too.
I know that to be true with every part of my being. And without the drugs confusing me, I'm able to take action. I ease myself off the bed and stand on wobbly legs. Everything hurts, especially my ass, but I manage to drag my dress back down to cover myself. Bright red blood runs down my thigh past my knee.
Oh, God.
I sway at the sight of the blood but dart my eyes over to the window. With newfound urgency, I make my way over to the window and begin fiddling with the lock. I flip it open and wrench the window up. It takes some work, but I manage to get it up high enough to squeeze through. The fire escape provides me with the out I need. With each passing second, I find more clarity.
I must get away.
And I need to make sure he never finds me again.
Abandoning my heels so I can run faster, I scale down the fire escape ladder as quickly as I can. When I reach the bottom, I hop down the rest of the way right into a puddle. The alley of the apartment building is empty, but at the end of one side is a busy street. I take off, sprinting toward the cars that keep passing by.
"Hey, baby, stay awhile," some guy smoking hollers at me.
I ignore him and run faster right out into the middle of traffic. A car slams on its brakes. I lock eyes with a woman around my mom's age as the front of her car bumps my hip. She has a teenage girl in the passenger side with her, who wears a similar stunned reaction.
"Please," I beg through my tears. "I need help."
She's still gaping at me when I round the side of the car. Other vehicles swerve around her car, that's stopped in the middle of the street, and honk. I beat on her window as terror threatens to consume me. A quick look over my shoulder tells me he isn't after me yet.
"Please," I plead again, "I've just been raped."
This seems to jolt her into action. With a shaking hand, she hits the unlock button on her car. I scramble into the backseat and find myself staring at a wide-eyed toddler in a car seat.
"Wh-Where do you want me to go?" the woman asks.
"Anywhere away from here," I cry out. "Just hurry."
She peels out and hauls off down the road. The baby in the back starts to cry. When I look at the girl in the front seat, her flesh is pale as she stares out the windshield. She grips her mother's hand to the point her knuckles turn white.
"Are you okay?" the woman asks, her panicked eyes meeting mine in the mirror.
I swallow and nod. Relief floods through me as realization sets in. I've escaped. I've finally slipped from Kai's death grip.
"I am now."
~
"Baby," a deep voice coos, dragging me from my nightmarish past. "It's me, Lisa."
I chance a peek and am thankful to see her concerned eyes darting all over me. My face is cradled in her hands as she regards me.
"Talk to me, Jennie," she murmurs, worry in her tone. "You scared the shit out of me."
With hot tears welling in my eyes, I blurt out the memory of the night I escaped. Detail by horrifying detail. I don't stop until I finish. The room grows silent for a few moments before I chance a look at her.
Lisa's features are positively manic with hate and fury. She's clenching her jaw so hard it's a wonder it doesn't break in two. But the way she drags her thumb across my bottom lip is gentle and reverent.
"I'm going to obliterate his goddamned skull into a thousand pieces," she seethes. "That is my vow to you."
Again with these intense proclamations—proclamations that should scare me but instead warm me to my very soul. I want her to hurt Kai. I want Kai eliminated from this earth so he doesn't hurt other women.
"I'm fucked up," I tell her, my voice wobbly. "You're the first person I ever told that story to. My therapist knows the gist and the women's shelters I bounced around to in the beginning had an idea. But nobody knows, in detail, what happened." I bite on my bottom lip and frown. "Maybe I should have spared you the graphic details."
Her grip is firm on my jaw and she shakes her head. "I need to know every single detail about every single thing that ever happened to you. I want to steal those horrific memories and wear them like the burn scars on my back so you don't have to fucking carry them around anymore. Please," she pleads, her lips pressing to mine. "Give them all to me. Let me take them and replace them with something good. We can be good together. Don't you feel that, Jennie?"
I nod and smile because I can feel it.
Her presence overwhelms me with safety and warmth.
A giant security blanket.
I've been shivering with the chill of my past for far too long. It's long past time I relied on someone else to help carry that burden for me.
She starts kissing me feverishly once again until her phone rings. A growl escapes her. "That's Gwen's ring tone."
I miss her body pressed against mine the moment she pulls away. Her body is all lean hiding beneath tattooed and scarred flesh. She's beautiful—like God created a special masterpiece and named it Lisa. But Lisa is far from boring, she's colorful and bright and charming.
"Fuuuuck," she hisses into the phone. "I'll be right there."
"What is it?" I demand when she tosses the phone onto the bed and begins rapidly throwing clothes on.
Sadness flashes in her eyes. "Mom. She fell. The paramedics won't come into the house anymore so if she gets hurt or falls, Gwen or I have to help her." She runs her fingers through her hair. "I'll be back when I can."
I jolt from the bed and hurry to my dresser to hunt for some panties. "I'm coming with you."
She stalks over to me and hugs me from behind. Her slacks are back on but the warmth radiating from her calls to me. Sings to quiet parts deep within me.
"Baby," she coos against my hair. "She's worse than Gwen. You need to stay."
I twist in her grip to face her. My palms find her cheeks and I shake my head at her. "Not a chance. I was being inconsiderate of your family's illness before. But now…" I trail off and stand on my toes to kiss her lips. "I want to help. You've listened to me unload my past on you. This is the least I can do."
Emotion shines in her eyes. "Really?"
"Really," I assure her with a smile. "Let's go help your mom."