Confidante
Emma Woodhouse was among the first callers when Jane Fairfax returned to Highbury, and their conversation was all that was pleasant and friendly. Indeed, it led Jane to wonder if fortune had placed in her way the very confidante she craved. Her aunt and grandmother were fine companions in their way, truly kind and comforting, but not at all ones to whom she could unburden her heart. Her aunt was sadly unable to keep a secret to herself for any duration.
When Miss Woodhouse departed, Jane recalled their encounters during her previous stays at Highbury. Each time she had become convinced that Miss Woodhouse was merely being polite and had no interest in true friendship. It seemed odd, given how devoid local society was of other young ladies their age. One would have expected that they each should have craved and treasured a deeper acquaintance, and yet for one reason or another, it had not occurred.
With a three or four-month's stay ahead of her — and a desire to distract herself from recent complications in her own life — Jane listened carefully when anyone mentioned Miss Woodhouse. Mr. Knightly expressed pleasure to learn that she had called, and later that same day Mrs. Weston repeated the sentiment.
Jane sought further explanation. "I noticed that you and… others… expressed a great deal of satisfaction that Miss Woodhouse had been among my first visitors. I must confess my surprise, as she has always been attentive when I visit my family. May I inquire why her calling upon me is of such…" She paused to select the right word. "Such importance?"
The explanation from Mrs. Weston was not entirely a surprise. Jane herself had thought that a friendship with Miss Woodhouse would have been deemed natural and even expected. But now she perceived an aspect she had not considered. "And has Miss Woodhouse been subjected to this encouragement to befriend me on every occasion I returned to Highbury?"
Mrs. Weston confirmed it.
Jane was certain the encouragement had been kindly meant, but oh, what a burden had been placed on Miss Woodhouse! It was no wonder her overtures of friendship had felt more a matter of duty than inclination.
The next caller was Mrs. Goddard, an old friend of the Bates family and — as the proprietress of a school for girls — someone who could be counted on to assess the character of young ladies. As it was a fine day, Jane proposed walking back to the school with the woman, declaring that she would enjoy the exercise. By the time they reached their destination, Jane learned that Mrs. Goddard had recently brought a young pupil — a Miss Harriet Smith — to the attention of Miss Woodhouse.
"No one could be kinder," Mrs. Goddard said of Miss Woodhouse. "She was generous with her time and attention, much more generous than I anticipated. I wonder, perhaps, if she has been lonely, now that her governess has married and removed from Hartfield."
Having arrived at the school, Jane accepted an offer of tea. She knew that staying for tea was the perfect opportunity to hear the opinions of the school's teachers. They were not in agreement regarding Miss Woodhouse. One praised her for improving the manner and taste of the aforementioned Harriet Smith. Another argued that their pupil had gained ideas above her station as a result of the association. It was generally agreed that Harriet had recently formed a romantic attachment — a preference for a young man in the neighborhood — and that neither Harriet nor Miss Woodhouse could be prevailed upon to reveal any particulars.
This was promising! Discretion — particularly discretion regarding matters of the heart — was exactly what Jane required.
Thus when she arrived at Hartfield the next evening for a dinner engagement, Jane resolved to be less diffident. She began by speaking of her recent visit to Mrs. Goddard's school. "I intended to stay only for tea," she said, "but then one of the youngest girls began her piano lesson and she was so charming I could not tear myself away."
"Then you are a rare creature, indeed!" exclaimed Miss Woodhouse. "For I have no patience to listen to piano lessons, including my own. It is a wonder I learned to play at all. The credit goes entirely to Mrs. Weston and her mixture of kindness and persistence."
"I believe the best teachers have those traits," Jane agreed. "Certainly I have endeavored to attain them, and I hope they will serve me well."
This led to an offer that Jane should return to Hartfield regularly to play their piano. "It will encourage me to practice more," Miss Woodhouse said. "Perhaps you may think of me as a student. I should like to learn more of your skill."
How easily it had been arranged! Jane became a frequent sight at Hartfield, visiting nearly every day. When Miss Woodhouse was free from the expectations and judgement of well-meaning neighbors, her overtures of friendship felt true and natural. Jane reciprocated, and cautiously began to share her secrets.
She described the meeting of Miss Campbell and Mr. Dixon, and their subsequent romance. Many times, she had accompanied them during their courtship for the sake of propriety. She had watched with curiosity as they progressed from interest, to admiration, and then to love. "Have you ever fallen in love?" Jane paused to ask.
Emma — for they had progressed to using their Christian names — admitted that she had not. "I have no wish to marry," she added. "And yet… One hears so much about the sensations of being in love. I think I should like to experience it — but not to be so much in love as to have my heart broken. That I should not like! But a sincere flirtation with someone I esteem would suit me very well, I believe."
"I felt much the same," Jane said. "I had never fancied myself in love, and observing my friend and her fiancé was both compelling and confusing. She tried to describe her feelings, and I tried to understand. Mr. Dixon is a kind gentleman, to be sure, and a true friend. But I could not perceive what made him particularly appealing beyond that. Eventually I gave up the attempt. I worried that if I could see him as my friend did, then I might be in danger of forming an attachment that could only make all of us unhappy."
Emma's reply was forestalled by the arrival of Mr. Woodhouse. He enjoyed listening to them play, and therefore they returned their attention to the piano that had been sadly neglected that day.
On Jane's next excursion to Hartfield, Emma's response was all that could be wished. She expressed interest in hearing more, while acknowledging that Jane may desire privacy more than openness on such a topic. "If you care to indulge me, I can assure you of the utmost discretion," she promised.
"As much as I cherish my privacy, I crave advice even more," Jane said. "There are so few people I can confide in about such things, and fewer still who would understand."
Hearing a bustling in the vestibule that reminded them how often their chats had been interrupted previously, Emma suggested they retreat to the gardens. As they meandered through the grounds, Jane described the arrival of an acquaintance at Weymouth — a young man of pleasing looks and manners — who was inclined to admire her. "It seemed the perfect opportunity… That is, he seemed a willing subject…"
"You wished to see if you could fall in love with him," Emma guessed.
"I enjoyed his attentions. On my side, it was a mild flirtation, and I was assured it could be no more for him. Our mutual friends made it clear that he was not free to give his heart. In short, he had expectations of an inheritance, but only if he married to please his guardians."
"And they were only to be satisfied by a bride whose wealth and position matched their own?"
"So I had been told. Therefore imagine my surprise when he made me an offer of marriage."
"How extraordinary!" Emma exclaimed. "How did you respond?"
"At first I was too astonished to reply. He spoke of harboring such feelings… I worried that I had led him to believe I felt more than I did, and that I was obligated…" Here she paused, struggling to go on.
"You accepted him?"
"I did, after he explained that the engagement must be kept secret. If no one knew of the arrangement, I had time to consider if I would prefer marriage with an amiable young man over…"
"Over being a governess," Emma supplied.
"Having a choice was irresistible. There would be no pressure from his side, no rush, given his situation. I could decide my fate at my leisure. It was the most unexpected freedom. Or so I thought when I agreed to the engagement."
Emma led them to a bench, where they sat while Jane gathered her thoughts. "Secrets can be a burden," Emma said after a pause.
In other circumstances, Jane would have asked Emma about the experiences that had led to that sentiment. At the moment, she merely said, "You understand, thank heavens! I am constrained with regard to what I can say, and to whom. And now…" She cast her eyes downward for a moment, and then returned her gaze to her friend. "Now he has written that he intends to visit… nay, to make a stay in Highbury. My freedom was an illusion. I shall be a prisoner to my own shame and embarrassment. And the young man would never imagine that he is my jailor. He sincerely believes that our secret engagement and his presence here will be a source of happiness."
"A young man, obligated to his guardians for a fortune, intending to make a stay in Highbury. My dear Jane, are you engaged to Frank Churchill?"
Jane nodded.
"And you do not wish to marry him?"
Jane chose her words carefully. "I've no wish to marry anyone, and yet, given my alternative…"
"I understand there are many evils associated with being a governess." Emma took Jane's hands in her own. "You have a gift for teaching. Already my skills at the piano have improved. Was it only my imagination that you enjoy giving instruction?"
"I do find pleasure in teaching."
"And Mrs. Goddard is fond of you."
Jane's mind whirled. "I could teach at Mrs. Goddard's school?"
"It would allow you to remain in Highbury, near your dearest relations."
"I daren't get my hopes up," Jane said. "But if such a situation were possible, I would choose it wholeheartedly."
Over the course of the next fortnight, Jane learned that Emma had unexpected reserves of determination and persuasion. Mrs. Goddard was delighted at the prospect of acquiring an instructor as talented and elegant as Jane Fairfax, but that was not enough to suit Emma.
Jane listened with amazement as Emma convinced Mrs. Goddard that she desired to visit her grandchildren more frequently, and that only the lack of someone trustworthy to run the school in her absence had prevented her from doing so. Furthermore, the good woman confided that her own offspring — having married well — had no desire to take over the school themselves. Was the school — such a fixture in Highbury — to disappear when the time came for Mrs. Goddard to enjoy a well-deserved retirement? "Bless me, no!" Mrs. Goddard had exclaimed. She could not endure seeing the fruit of her labors disappear in her waning years, not when she had such pride in the establishment. Her dearest wish, she told them, was for the school continue after she was gone.
Thus Jane Fairfax became both an instructor and Mrs. Goddard's right hand, with the promise that Jane would one day inherit the school.
Frank Churchill was surprised at the termination of their engagement, but he could take comfort in the fact that all of his friends were ignorant of the event. He soothed his pride by enjoying a brief flirtation with Miss Woodhouse, until she grew bored of him. Following a suitable period of mourning after the death of his aunt, he took a lease on a property called Netherfield Park. An acquaintance knew of a man who had recently resided there, and it came highly recommended. There he met several eligible young ladies with whom to flirt, including two Miss Bennets and a Miss Lucas who resided nearby, in addition to a Miss Bingley and a Miss Darcy who were frequent guests of the Bennets. Eventually his butterfly of a heart alit on the one who could make him most happy, and he proved a loving and loyal husband.
For her part, Emma was pleased by the praise she received from both Mr. Knightley and her father. While Mr. Woodhouse dreaded the changes wrought by matrimony, he could only laud what Emma had done for dear Miss Fairfax. What could be better for Jane than to stay near her family rather than gadding about, especially when this resulted in support for their friend Mrs. Goddard? It seemed most natural for Emma to give up matchmaking in favor of seeking more material opportunities to aid her neighbors. Mr. Knightley eagerly joined in her efforts to identify not merely people in need of help, but also those who could benefit from giving help. Emma lost count of how many people found happy, gainful employment through their efforts. Even Mr. Elton grudgingly admitted the parish had never been more prosperous.
A/N: Written for the AO3 Chocolate Box exchange. The prompt of Jane confiding in Emma about the secret engagement was irresistible!