Magic was not a happy camper.

She had just been watching her favorite fated hero vanquish Lord Voldemort in an epic and climactic duel and now this nonsense! What on earth was Albus the Asshole thinking Imperius-cursing Ginny Weasley, so she would off Harry with a point-blank killing curse. Of course Magic had gone ahead and time-stopped this circus.

"Death you scythe-wielding wanker! Get your ass in here!"

Dutiful like always, her little brother appeared before her. She wildly gesticulated to the time-frozen scene in front of her: "The fuck's this?!"

Death leaned his scythe against his shoulder and let a clipboard appear, before flipping trough a couple of pages on it. His forehead wrinkled in confusion: "What is Dumbledore doing here? He's supposed to have died two years ago! And Harry shouldn't die here and most certainly not like this!"

There was only one possible explanation for this fuck-up. "FATE!", they both bellowed. Their sister stumbled in moments later, still a little sleepy, like she tended to be: "What's going on?".

Death pushed up his nerdy glasses: "An excellent question, sister. Care to explain why Magic had to stop an unplanned passing moments ago?"

Fate surveyed the scene in front of her and a guilty expression instantly appeared on her face: "Well, you said to make his life really difficult and tragic, Mag"

"Yeah but getting killed by his supposed mentor by way of his girlfriend is a bit dark, even for you!"

"Also, I have told you so many times, that I lost count, that you can't just kill people or keep them alive just because it fits your narrative better. Doubly so if you don't even tell me first", Death tried to look stern and regal in his complaining. He failed utterly.

Fate pushed her fingers together apologetically: "Well, what am I supposed to do now?"

"Best we can do is to start this whole thing over and get it right. And maybe be just a little nicer to Harry this time around!"

Fate stood there contemplating for a good minute or so, before a very wide and predatory grin appeared on her face: "A little nicer, huh?". With a dangerous gleam in her eyes she disappeared from in front of her siblings.

Magic had made a huge mistake: "Oh crap!"

"Mag! Why did you have to say it like that? You know she morphs into a grade-a smut-peddler whenever you let her of the leash!", Death was rubbing his temples in frustration, "It's not like time and space are extremely delicate and shouldn't be messed with on a whim..."

"Oh buh huh! Don't get your knickers in a twist Diddle. How bad could she screw up exactly?"

Death just pointedly looked at her and remained silent. After a moment Magic let a nervous giggle slip: "I mean … we can always … I'll have an eye on her, how about that?"

Death just nodded and turned to walk away, but Magic grabbed him by the shoulder an stopped him: "Sooooooo … now that we have to turn back time anyway ..."

Death dismissed her with a hand-wave: "Mag, his parents stay dead!"

"Nonononono. Not talking about that. However … maybe my sweet, smart, sophisticated brother could be persuaded to possibly let some other souls of the hook for a while"

Said brother let out a deep sigh: "Alright, I'm listening. Who do you want?"

"The owl"

"What? There is a war where a ton of people died and your first choice is a bird?"

"Not gonna lie, that shit was traumatic!"

"Um, okay I guess. You know what? Why not, the bird is a freebie. But I know you Mag, We wouldn't be talking, if that's all you wanted. And sorry sis, but it's going to cost you"

"I don't want all of them to survive longer, just these … How about this brother, I'll return your toys back to you for some resurrections?"

"The Hallows? You know that's going to nerf Harold McScarface over there massively though, right?"

Damn. How could she have forgotten about that?

"I mean he could still have a really awesome invisibility-cloak, no? Just no shielding from my almighty brothers piercing gaze. And the Elder wand … could just be kinda strong instead of ridiculous. And the stone … what does it even do?"

"It communes with the spirits of the dead. Anyway, it's not much you're offering, but if it stops people thinking they can screw with me, I would gladly take the Hallows back"

"You're just still salty the Peverell brothers got the better of you"

Death just glared at his sister before looking up into the sky in mock confusion: "What's that? Oh right, another soul flying off into the void, because it won't be temporarily avoiding me in this new timeline, either"

"What? No, you can't just... asshole"

"Them's the rules, Mag"

"Yeah, the rules you make"

"Convenient, isn't it?"

"You're adopted!"

Death just laughed it off and strolled though a swirling portal: "Time to dig up some souls for my dear sisters to fiddle around with. Bye"

Magic just sat back down on her favorite chair and summoned another cup of tea for herself. Death was such a dork sometimes. She let herself sink into the cushions with a delighted purr. This should be very entertaining to watch, though.