Good Morning, Darlings!

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Thank you to Mel and Gemma.

TW: Rape is mentioned.

TWO

Bella

Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.

― Emily Dickinson

The sounds of my neighbor shouting at her children woke me the next morning. I jerked in my bed as a door slammed on the other side of my thin wall, followed by the loud shriek of a child screaming back at her mother. My eyes squeezed shut and I shifted in bed, pulling my pillow over my ears and willing the world away.

The child kept screaming, the mother kept shouting, and then their chihuahua joined the cacophony.

So much for quiet Sunday mornings.

Groaning, I pulled myself out of bed, sitting up and rubbing my face hard. Today was the last day of summer break. My last chance to do whatever I wanted before the inevitable tidal wave of work that came with senior year and applying for university.

One last day to figure out my life plan.

Starting tomorrow, I'd hit the ground sprinting, and every day I didn't know what I was doing was another day utterly wasted. I needed to head into school with a plan, some way to stand out even more than I already did.

I needed to make myself utterly irresistible to admission committees.

Thinking about it gave me a stomachache, and I squeezed my eyes tighter, tugging my fingers through my hair in my aggravation.

It was only eight in the morning, but it was already sweltering in our apartment. Deciding to put off my panic for another hour or so, I grabbed my towel and headed to the bathroom to shower off.

I took a cold shower, unable to stand any amount of heat, and though it was painful, it helped drive the frantic thoughts from my mind.

A loud bang on the door startled me as I was reaching for my razor, and I looked up, glaring in the direction of the door. "I have to piss!"

Fucking Phil. He was mostly an all right guy, but honestly, he hung around way too much. Shouldn't he have gone home at some point this weekend?

"Five minutes!" I yelled back.

I didn't hear a response, but I knew that if I didn't wrap it up, he'd start complaining to my mom and that wasn't a conversation I wanted to tolerate.

Three minutes later, the bathroom door was opening, and I dropped my razor, sucking in a deep breath to yell at Phil. I pulled the curtain back enough to poke my head out, grunting when I saw my mom slip into the bathroom.

"Have to pee," she said, moving to the toilet. I pulled the curtain back, silently swearing about my utter lack of privacy. If only the bathroom door still had a working lock.

Mom tried to start a conversation, but I studiously ignored her. If she wanted to talk to me, it could wait until we were both out of the bathroom and properly dressed.

She flushed, which made the cold water colder, and a moment later she was leaving the bathroom. I could hear Phil complaining in the hall and I sighed, turning the water off. I wrapped myself in my robe, gathering up my things before opening the door. Phil was waiting in the hall, looking pissed off.

"About fucking time," he grumbled.

"Go home," I told him dryly. He ignored me, moving into the bathroom as I headed to my bedroom. I pulled on a pair of shorts and a light tank top, immediately pulling my wet hair up off my neck. I hadn't planned to wet it, since I'd washed it last night, but the temptation to cool down had been too strong. Now it would dry funny, but it didn't matter. It was too hot for it to be down.

I stepped out of my room and headed to the kitchen for coffee as a knock on the door had Phil swearing as my mom jumped up from the sofa in the living room. I ignored the commotion, focused on my caffeine fix.

Our coffee maker was broken, and we didn't have extra cash for a new one, so we'd been surviving off instant coffee packets. It wasn't much bother to Mom since she only drank tea, but it had been annoying as shit to me. Once upon a time, we'd had better things. Not nice things, because we'd never had money, but Mom used to date guys that at least had steady jobs. Those guys had brought things into our lives that had been helpful, and although those guys never lasted, their things did.

Of course, Mom had to get all hung up on Phil who was a past-his-prime third string athlete.

He was going nowhere and making no money doing it.

I pulled a mug off the dish rack, wiping it dry with my tank top before filling it with tap water and sticking the mug into the microwave. I punched in two minutes, knowing the microwave sucked and almost never actually worked properly.

While the water heated up, I turned to the fridge, looking for anything to eat.

"Bella, baby, are you in here?"

I looked up over the fridge door as Mom came into the kitchen. She looked a little frantic, her blue eyes wider than usual. She smoothed her hand over her hair while her other hand held her kimono robe closed. "Baby, there you are. You have a visitor."

My eyes narrowed.

"If it's Jake, tell him to go fuck himself," I said, snapping the fridge door shut a little too hard. I could hear jars jingling under the force and I internally winced.

"No, it's not Jake. Come into the living room?"

I frowned at her, but eventually nodded. Mom slipped out of the kitchen and I turned to the microwave, pulling it open before it was done. The water was lukewarm, but I dumped my instant coffee packet in it anyway. Using a spoon from the dish rack, I gave the coffee a quick swirl before tossing the spoon in the sink and heading into the living room.

Sitting on my sofa, looking more out of place than anyone I'd ever seen, was a tall, elegant woman dressed from head to toe in cream. Her light blonde hair was carefully swept back, every strand perfectly placed. Everything about her screamed money and authority. The juxtaposition of her across the room from Phil was almost too much to process.

She looked up at me when I came into the living room, gracefully unfolding herself from the sofa.

"Isabella," she said, her voice a smooth British accent. "It's very nice to meet you."

She extended a lily-white hand in my direction, her clean, manicured nails catching the rays of sun outside the living room and shining brighter than anything in the apartment ever had before.

"Who are you?" I asked, transferring my mug to my left hand to shake hers. She smiled, and it was one of those perfect smiles that models had to practice for hours in the mirror: demure and mysterious all at once.

"My name is Heidi Montgomery. I'm here to offer you a very exciting opportunity."

Her eyes were almost too blue, and despite the array of glitter and beads in the living room from another one of my mom's harebrained schemes, not a speck was out of place on Heidi.

"What kind of opportunity?" I asked, wrapping my hand around my coffee cup. Heidi smiled that careful, diplomatic smile.

"I am a representative of a very prestigious school. One of the best in the world. We actively seek out students that excel, pull themselves ahead of the pack. You are such a student." She paused, the corners of her full lips staying carefully quirked into a smile. "Should you choose so, we would like to offer you an interview to study with us."

There was a loud ringing in my ears as I tried to process what she was saying. "What school?" I asked, my voice thick.

Heidi's lips pulled up a little more. "We prefer to remain as discreet as possible. Should your interview go well, we'd be happy to share more information with you."

I frowned. "So you want me to blindly walk into an interview with no idea of where it might lead?" I asked, my voice heavy with my skepticism.

Heidi smiled. " Audentes fortuna iuvat," she said.

I shut my mouth, my fingers tapping against my mug.

"What does that mean?" Phil asked.

I looked away from Heidi, surprised to see him still in the recliner. I forgot he was there at all. I looked back at Heidi and sighed.

"Fortune favors the bold," I murmured. Heidi's smile lit up her eyes, even though her face hardly moved.

"What can the school offer me?"

Heidi smiled. "Even knowing our name opens doors, Isabella. I imagine you are on track for an Ivy League?" One of her eyebrows lifted with her question and I swallowed hard, nodding. "Being tied to us, you won't have to settle for anything as common as Harvard. Being a member of our school means the world is yours, ripe for the plucking."

Similar words that I'd read only yesterday started ringing in my ears. Nomen est omen.

"What do you say, Isabella?"

I looked at Heidi, who was more sophisticated than anything in this entire neighborhood had ever been. She shone in the living room like a beacon, beckoning me toward a better life.

One that I'd worked for, one that I deserved.

I glanced at Phil, who was sitting in the recliner with a beer and watching our interaction with a confused look on his face. I glanced at the doorway where my mom appeared dressed in a tank top and skirt, looking frazzled and frayed. I looked back at Heidi, who seemed almost too put together. I didn't trust anyone who could look so immaculate, but how much did I truly need to trust her?

Hadn't this been exactly what I was waiting for? A chance to pull ahead, to set myself apart? I had the opportunity to make a change, and I was not going to let that pass me.

I set my untouched mug on the coffee table and straightened my spine, looking Heidi head on. "I'm in."

Heidi's sphinx smile widened. "Wonderful. I will give you ten minutes to pack the essentials."

I didn't know what that meant, but I knew that she wasn't messing around. Without saying a word, I turned and left, heading to my bedroom.

"Baby, wait! What are you doing?" Mom asked, following me into my room.

I pulled my backpack onto my bed, dumping it out.

"I'm taking a chance on my future," I told her, sorting through the mess that fell out.

"Baby, wait let's talk about this. Did you apply for something without telling me?"

I glanced at her.

"No."

"So, they what… just magically found you?"

I went to my closet, rooting around for my one and only decent outfit.

"I guess so."

I couldn't help but shake the thought of the strange academy I'd tried to search for not twenty-four hours ago. Could this be related? How could it be? I hadn't found anything, and it wasn't like I'd had much to go on anyway.

"Bella!"

Mom's hands landed on my arms, stopping me from returning to my backpack. "Baby, stop and think about this for a minute, please!"

I stared at her. Mom used to be beautiful. She used to be talented and brave and creative. But she'd let life wear her down until nothing but a husk of who she used to be existed. Mom used to be a lot of things, and I would not let her fate be my own.

"I can't keep living like this." I knew my words would cut her deep, and sure enough, Mom flinched, her hands easing around my arms. "I need more. I'm built for more and I'm never going to get it unless I take a few chances."

Mom's eyes filled with tears, and I had to look away from her to stop myself from crying too. I stepped around her, setting my dress on my bed.

"Baby, we'll find another way. I'll dump Phil; we'll move away from Phoenix. Just please, stop and think."

I stared at her. She'd never offered to do anything for me before, not like that.

"Mom, this is a good opportunity," I said slowly. "I need more than you or I can find on our own."

Mom looked frantic.

"Baby, I don't care what it takes, I'll find a way; I promise you. I just need you to have a little faith in me."

I looked away from her. It was the one thing I didn't have, not anymore. Mom had given up too much in life; I didn't believe she could come back from this.

"I have to go," I said quietly.

"Bella, what if you get hurt?"

I swallowed thickly. "I've gotten hurt here," I pointed out to her. I could see her flinch out of the corner of my eye. Mom knew what happened with Jake. I'd confided to her in a crying, drunken mess one night. The next day, she'd pretended we'd never had our candid moment. A week later, Mom was back to joking with Jake, inviting him over for dinner with us like nothing had changed.

Like he hadn't raped me.

"Baby," Mom moaned.

"You have to let me go at some point," I told her, pushing past her quiet protest. "Even if this doesn't pan out, I'll be better off knowing I tried. I saw an opportunity and was brave enough to take it."

Mom didn't respond, and I finished packing my backpack before turning to her. She had tears in her eyes as she stared at me.

"I'm begging you," she said, her voice thick with tears. "Let me find another way. Please."

"It's just an interview," I reminded her. We both knew better though. Something was happening; a door was opening and it wouldn't stay open for long. I was on the cusp of something, of a new life, and that life didn't include my mom.

"Bella, the world isn't a safe place," she said, tears spilling over onto her cheeks. "Baby, there is so much you don't know about life."

I took a deep breath.

"I'll figure it out. I always have."

Mom shook her head.

"Baby, I'm not ready to let you go."

I stared at her.

"I won't forgive you if you don't."

She flinched, dropping her hands to her side.

"I want to keep you safe," she whispered.

"I'll be fine," I told her, not feeling entirely convinced of it. "I'll call."

Mom nodded shallowly. We both knew it wouldn't matter. Either I'd forget to call, or I'd remember but Mom's phone wouldn't be working. There was a very real possibility that I wouldn't talk to my mom again in a very long time.

"Let me know you're safe?" she asked, pulling me into a hug. "Even if it's by carrier pigeon, all right?"

I smiled thinly. "I will."

Mom kissed my cheek, and I squeezed her closer, breathing in the scent of palo santo and sage.

"I love you, baby."

I blinked back a tear from my own eyes. "Yeah, Mom. I love you too."

…

The white town car parked in front of our apartment building was starkly out of place. Never had a car this nice been seen in our neighborhood. I looked up at Heidi, who was at least six or seven inches taller than me. "This way, Isabella," she said redundantly. The car couldn't belong to anyone but her.

A driver climbed out, surprising me, and held the back door for us. I looked at him anxiously, but he was the most nondescript human I'd ever seen. I glanced back at Heidi, who motioned me toward the car. Taking a deep breath, and uttering a silent prayer that I wasn't about to get murdered, I climbed in.

The Arizona heat melted away the moment I touched the sumptuous creamy leather of the seat. I slid in, leaving room for Heidi to climb in as well. The interior of the car was so immaculate I had to double-check the leather to make sure I hadn't accidentally rubbed dirt on it.

Heidi stepped into the car, elegantly folding herself into the backseat. The door shut and she turned to me, smiling. "You've made a very bold and rewarding choice," she told me, settling into the leather.

"Where are we going?"

Heidi smiled, her head tilting slightly in my direction. "To the airport."

I frowned.

"And from the airport?"

She grinned, flashing me her too-white smile.

"New Hampshire."

I blinked.

"New Hampshire?" I repeated slowly. Heidi looked at me and I had to look away from her. Dartmouth was in New Hampshire. Could she be with them? If she was, why wouldn't she tell me from the start? I couldn't imagine one of the Ivy Leagues sending such a cryptic recruiter.

I let my thoughts swirl in me, ebbing and flowing like waves upon the beach. There was so much of this that didn't make sense, so much that I couldn't piece together.

Before I could sort through any of my thoughts, the car was pulling up to the airport. The quiet thrum of planes flying overhead filled me with as much trepidation as it did anticipation.

The car pulled to a stop, and the driver clambered out, coming around to hold the door open for us. Heidi climbed out and I scooted along, following her lead.

I'd never been on a plane before. Never left Phoenix. I had no idea how the airport worked, or if where Heidi was taking me was in fact where she said she would.

I followed her through a set of double doors, where a man in a suit greeted her. They shook hands, and then without a word, he was guiding us away from the busy desks of people checking in for their flights.

We were led toward a quiet corridor, and only the squeak of my sneakers or the click of Heidi's heels could be heard as we marched along.

"The plane is ready for take off," the man told her as we approached a set of double doors. "Everything is as requested."

She nodded as he pushed the doors open, momentarily blinding me when the full Arizona sun came into view again.

"Very good, come along, Isabella."

I looked up at her, squinting against the brightness, and hurried behind her. As my eyes adjusted, I realized we were on the tarmac, and actual planes were driving not that far away. I swallowed thickly as I followed Heidi to a smaller plane that had its doors open and a thin staircase for passengers to board.

It shouldn't have come as a surprise, though it did, when Heidi began to board the private plane.

I hesitated at the base of the stairs, overwhelmed by the sheer money on display. Heidi reached the top of the stairs and turned to look back at me, frowning slightly. "You may stay," she called to me, over the noisy whir of jet engines. "But the offer leaves with me."

I gripped the strap of my backpack tighter and climbed up the stairs.

My eyes didn't know where to focus inside the plane. Everything was sleek, shiny, and expensive as hell.

"Have a seat," Heidi instructed. "We'll be taking off soon."

I moved slowly toward a plush tan leather seat, sinking into the buttery smoothness of it with a soft gasp. I'd never known anything so nice. It was all too much, too overwhelming.

I could feel myself spiraling a little bit, so I closed my eyes, willing myself to focus on my breathing.

Gentle, careful breaths. It's fine; this is all fine. It's just stuff. It doesn't mean anything. Just because this plane is worth more than the sum of what Mom has made in her entire life doesn't mean it can have power over you. It's fine.

It's fine. It's fine. It's fine.

"Isabella?"

I opened my eyes, looking at Heidi who was seated across from me.

"What?" I asked, my voice tight.

"Please put on your seatbelt."

I reached down for my waist, fumbling with the strap.

"Would you like to take your backpack off?"

My god I was still wearing it. I struggled to switch tasks, for some reason needing to finish buckling myself in before I leaned forward to take off my bag. It was awkward, and the longer it took, the more self conscious I became.

When I finally had it off, I felt like I wanted to pass out.

"May I take that?"

A woman appeared out of nowhere, stooping down to motion toward my bag. I stared at her in surprise, before handing it over. I didn't say anything because my mouth was too dry.

"We are prepared for departure. Once we're in the air, I'll come back to get your drink orders," she said, carefully tucking my ratty backpack into a closet.

I nodded, still mute. She disappeared and I turned back to Heidi.

"Are you all right?" she asked, her voice soft.

I took a shaking breath and nodded. "It's fine," I choked out.

The cabin door was shut, and I'd never been claustrophobic before, but all of a sudden it felt like I couldn't breathe. The extreme wealth of everything around me was closing in, burying me with each passing moment.

I shut my eyes and took another breath.

The plane began to move, and in my lap, my hands fisted, curling so hard, I could feel my nails biting into my palms.

I kept my eyes closed as it continued to crawl forward. The plane stilled, and then with a jolt, it launched forward. As it picked up speed, I couldn't help looking out the window as the tarmac raced by. The tarmac wasn't that long, and we were still on the ground. Weren't we supposed to be in the air by now? Surely we were about to crash?

I could feel panic building in me again, and then the plane jolted, tilting so that I was moved back into my chair as we became airborne. I took careful, measured breaths as we launched into the sky and I saw Phoenix fall away below us.

This was really happening. I was really doing this.

Holy shit.

Heidi was busy on her phone, and I was in no mood to talk, so instead I watched the world outside as desert gave way to clouds. Did Mom know where I was going? Was I going to be able to tell her?

About ten minutes into the flight, the flight attendant came back. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

"Chevalier-Montrachet Grand Cru," Heidi said, her French flawless. The flight attendant looked at me. I cleared my throat.

"Water?"

She nodded and disappeared toward the front of the plane. I looked at Heidi.

"It must be overwhelming," she said softly. "Have you flown before?"

I shook my head and she smiled a little.

"I'm glad your first experience could be so comfortable."

I had no idea what to say to that.

The flight attendant came back with a glass of white wine for Heidi and a glass of water for me. I took it eagerly, taking a large sip. Holy hell, even the water tasted better. Clear and crisp and soft: this water was most definitely not tap. It probably came straight out of some ultra exclusive spring in the mountains.

Once I had water in me, I felt better. I took another sip, hating how good it tasted. I never wanted to be too good for tap water.

When I felt like I could talk without puking, I looked at Heidi.

"Why me?"

She sipped her wine before answering.

"Because you were chosen now."

I frowned.

"Why now?"

Heidi considered my question. "My colleagues and I search the globe for the absolute best. We sift through a lot of…" She paused, her lips quirking a little. "Mundane," she finally said. "It often takes us time to find a diamond."

I hesitated.

"But not all diamonds make the cut?"

Her smile grew wider. "No, some are too deeply flawed."

I frowned, looking down at my hands. Would I be too flawed? How could I not be? I was a mess of mental and emotional imbalances and almost guaranteed one undiagnosed disorder. What if I was doing all of this for nothing? What if I was taking this chance that would set me back even further when it inevitably failed?

My breathing was getting shallower and shallower, and I felt like I was about to pass out again. I tried to force myself to calm down, but it was useless. I was spiraling, and nothing was going to save me now.

What the fuck had I done? What had I been thinking? How could I go with this stranger the day before senior year began to an unknown location for an unspecified amount of time? Would I be taken home when I tanked the interview? Or would I have to find my own way home? New Hampshire was across the fucking country and I wasn't even a legal adult yet. I was still five days from my eighteenth birthday.

Oh god my birthday. It would be the first birthday without Mom. Sure, we never did much, but it had always been with her. What if I spent my birthday hitchhiking across the Bible Belt?

"Isabella?"

I glanced at Heidi, noting the slight edge of concern in her voice.

"I'm fine," I croaked, squeezing my hands so tight I could feel my nails digging into my palms. "I'm fine." I chanted the mantra internally, willing my body to believe the false words. "It's fine."

Heidi sipped her wine. "It will take time, but I very much believe you are more than capable to rise to the challenges ahead."

I looked at her.

"What makes you think so?"

Heidi smiled. "My dear, I found you. And I only find the best."

I turned my gaze away from Heidi as I tried to process all that I knew and all that I didn't. There was too much to list in the unknowns.

One thing was certain: my life was never going to be the same again.