Chapter Nine: Heyrick Park

Georgiana had spent the night at Trafalgar House. She and Charlotte had talked into the wee hours of the night about Alexander Colbourne and Charlotte's engagement to Ralph Starling.

Georgiana was angry at Mr. Colbourne for hurting Charlotte, but she also knew that where there was anger there was passion. Based on all that had been said last night when they had discussed the men in Charlotte's life, Mr. Starling did not inspire such emotion in Charlotte.

She had observed him with Charlotte at Lady Denham's garden party, and she noticed that Mr. Colbourne always knew where Charlotte was, and he listened intently to her when she spoke. He smiled only at her.

To Georgiana, the choice Charlotte needed to make was very clear, and she only hoped Charlotte could forgive Mr. Colbourne. He had to meet Charlotte as an equal this time, and Georgiana believed he would do all he could to make things right with her friend.

After breakfast with the family Parker, Georgiana and Charlotte took a walk on the beach.

Georgiana asked Charlotte, "Did you wake this morning with any clarity about what you are going to do about Mr. Starling?"

Charlotte replied, "I know what my heart wants, even though Mr. Colbourne has hurt me terribly, but there are consequences for my family if I break my engagement to Ralph. I have ten more siblings that will need to make a good marriage someday. Ralph's family is well thought of in Willingden, Georgiana. He is considered a good catch for any woman, and it will reflect badly on my family if I break things off with him."

"My parents raised us to know the value of keeping our word once it has been given. I am not sure my father will forgive me even though I know he loves me dearly. The harvest has been dismal the last three years, and there are too many mouths to feed and bodies to clothe. It is expected of me to marry to relieve my father of the burden of my care. He greatly approves of Ralph, and I am not sure at all what he would think of Mr. Colbourne."

Georgiana stopped walking and took her friend's hands in hers. " Charlotte, you are so lucky to find love again. I know that Sidney would want you to live your life, and to marry for love. You cannot marry Ralph and throw your life away for duty when you have another option. I believe you have to choose what is right for your life, and if you do so with conviction, your family will accept it."

Charlotte said, "I cannot bear to think of upsetting my father. I love him dearly, and we are very close, but I am going to have to write to him soon and tell him that I am not going to marry Ralph."

Georgiana agreed, and said, "You must be honest with yourself as well, my dear friend. I do not believe you could ever be happy married to one man and loving another."

"You are right, my friend. I could not be happy in such a marriage."

Charlotte hugged Georgiana and said, "Thank you for your wise counsel, dear friend. I need to get on to Heyrick Park, and I will see you when I get back."

Georgiana left her at the clifftops and returned to town.

Charlotte walked down to the cove where she had seen Sidney sea-bathing in the nude. She smiled at the memory now, but she had been mortified at the time.

She thought of Georgiana's words that he would want her to marry for love, not duty.

She felt his presence, and she closed her eyes. Sidney. It still hurt to think of him, and she imagined she would always miss him. She was a different woman now than she had been when she first met him. He had broken her heart, but not because he wanted to. Charlotte had been hurt by the unfairness of the circumstance that had conspired against them. but she was very sure he had loved her. She would not have missed out on knowing him for the world, even with how things ended.

She walked back to the cliff tops and continued toward Heyrick Park.

She felt her stomach clench in a knot at the thought of seeing Mr. Colbourne and returning to the place where he had said those hurtful things. Lady Susan had told her that if we were to forgive someone that meant we had to forget the hurt they caused us. She only wished it was that easy. His words had wounded her deeply.

Charlotte decided that she would endeavor to be polite, and to focus on enjoying her time with the girls.

At Heyrick Park, Alexander woke in a good mood. Miss Heywood was coming for a visit today, and he would see her. He knew that she was to spend her time with Augusta and Leo, but he was heartened that she had accepted his invitation.

When Alexander had told the girls and Mrs. Wheatley that Charlotte was coming for a visit, he could see how pleased the girls were. Leo and Augusts began planning what they wanted to do while she was with them, and Mrs. Wheatley asked if she would be staying for lunch.

Alexander wanted her to stay for the entire day, so he told Mrs. Wheatley to plan on it. They would eat as a family in the garden.

He decided he would walk to the clifftops to wait for her. It would give them a few minutes alone.

He spotted her walking toward him, and he felt his heart swell with love for her. She was undeniably beautiful and even in the simplest garments, she took his breath away.

When she saw him, she hesitated for a moment, took a deep breath, then continued toward him.

"Good Morning, Miss Heywood. You have made the girls and Mrs. Wheatley quite happy by agreeing to come for a visit."

"Mr. Colbourne. I am quite looking forward to seeing them."

Nothing was said about their conversation from yesterday. When she stumbled on the path, he reached out his hand to steady her and she did not pull away, but neither did she look at him.

After several minutes of walking in silence, Alexander told her Augusta would be going to Bath for six weeks with her Aunt Markham. There was a young man who was interested in courting his niece, and his family would be in Bath at the same time. Augusta's aunt thought well of the family and would make sure that the couple was properly chaperoned while they were getting to know one another.

Charlotte said, " Have you met this young man yet, Mr. Colbourne?"

"Yes, I have, and I like him well enough. I want Augusta to have the kind of marriage her parents had. They seemed quite happy, and they both doted on Augusta. Lydia Markham, my sister-in-law, was only sixteen when Augusta was born."

Charlotte said, "Augusta told me her parents were killed in a carriage incident less than two years ago."

"Yes, and thankfully, Augusta was at home with her governess. Her parents were on their way to a ball when the wheel of their carriage came off, sending the carriage down an embankment."

"I was surprised when their lawyer told me at the funeral that I would be taking over custody of Augusta. The adjustment of living at Heyrick Park has difficult for her, and until you came, I wondered if she and I would ever be able to hold a conversation."

"You have transformed both of my girls, Miss Heywood, and me as well. Augusta says I am almost a human these days. Your presence is greatly missed."

Charlotte looked away, trying not to let him see how his words affected her. He had sent her away, or he would not need to be missing her. In that moment, the hurt of it all washed over her.

"You are the one who sent me away, Mr. Colbourne."

"Yes, I did, and as I told you yesterday, I regret it. I hope you can someday forgive me."

He wished he had not blundered by telling her she was missed, but she was. He was afraid to say more, so they walked the rest of the way in silence.

They arrived at the house and Leo burst through the front door, with Mrs. Wheatley on her heels. Leo ran to Charlotte and threw her arms around her. 'I have missed you, Miss Heywood!"

Augusta came out to greet Miss Heywood as well, and said, "Miss Heywood, I am so glad to see you again. Maybe later we can take a walk by ourselves. I have so many things I want to speak with you about."

Charlotte looked over at Mr. Colbourne for his permission, and he nodded his consent.

"Of course, Miss Markham, I would like that very much."

Charlotte greeted Mrs. Wheatley, and everyone went inside.

Alexander did not want to leave them, but today's visit was not for him, but for the girls.

He went to his study and left the door open. He heard the joyous sounds of the girls chattering and laughter drifting throughout the house. Charlotte had made this house a home with her presence. For so many years, it had been a house of silence and as Charlotte had called it, a mausoleum.

He did not accomplish any work that morning. He was lost in his thoughts and the hope that someday, his beloved Charlotte would not be at Heyrick Park for a visit, but instead, she would live here as mistress of the house.

Mrs. Wheatley interrupted his musings and told him it was time for lunch. The ladies were waiting on him.

He walked outside to join them, and he could not remember ever having such a pleasant time with his girls. Charlotte told anecdotes about her siblings and growing up in such a large family out in the country. They sat there for over an hour, laughing and talking.

Alexander looked around the table and thought to himself, this is my family. These are the people I care for most in the world.

The force of his love for her threatened to overwhelm him. He looked up and their eyes met. Leo asked Charlotte to tell her another story, and Charlotte broke their gaze to look at Leo.

She entertained them all with stories about shooting rabbits and squirrels on their property and bringing them home for dinner.

After lunch, they took a walk to the meadow where the bluebells were in bloom. Charlotte and the girls got busy right away picking a bouquet for each of their rooms. Leo picked a large bouquet, and then impulsively said, "Miss Heywood, these are for you."

Charlotte got down on her knees and hugged Leo tightly. I shall put them in water when I get home and set the vase next to my bed. Thank you so much for your lovely gift, Leo."

Alexander marveled as he watched Charlotte interact with both girls. It was like Augusta had once said, she treated them like sisters. Her heart was not guarded with Augusta and Leo, and he could see that Charlotte's capacity for love was unlike anyone else he had ever known. He only hoped her capacity to forgive was as great.

Augusta had private matters to discuss with Charlotte, so Alexander took Leo home with him.

When the ladies returned from their walk, Mrs. Wheatley asked Charlotte to have a cup of tea with her in the kitchen.

They talked about family. Charlotte learned that Mrs. Wheatley's husband and son were both dead now, and she was alone in the world. Mr. Colbourne had told her that for as long as she lived, she had a home with him.

It was getting late in the afternoon, and time for Charlotte to go back to Trafalgar House. Alexander asked if she wanted him to have the carriage hitched, and she said, "No, thank you. I prefer to walk."

Both girls told her goodbye and asked if she could come again later in the week, and Charlotte promised that she would if Mr. Colbourne was agreeable to it.

Alexander walked with her to the edge of his property.

"Thank you for coming today, Miss Heywood."

Charlotte looked at him, and said, "The pleasure was all mine, Mr. Colbourne. I love your girls and consider them much like my own sisters. Leo is the same age as the twins, Caroline and Catherine, and I so wish they could meet. Maybe when I return to Willingden, Leo could come with me and stay for a week or so?"

"Do your parents have room for her? With eleven children at home, I cannot imagine there are many spare bedrooms."

Charlotte smiled, "No guest bedrooms at Heywood Manor, but I have a room of my own now that my sister Alison is married. Leo could stay with me."

"I will consider your offer, Miss Heywood, and thank you for thinking of her."

"Did you and Augusta have a good visit on your walk?"

Charlotte said, "Yes, we did, but I shall not tell you what we talked about. We ladies need to have someone to confide in."

"I feel so lucky to have had Alison all my life to talk about anything and everything with. Now, I also have Georgiana to confide in as well, along with Lady Susan and Mary."

"Indeed, you are very blessed to have their friendships."

Charlotte asked if she could make an observation, and he nodded his consent.

He smiled at her, and said, "I believe you have already made it, Miss Heywood, and what you are really asking me is if I want to hear it. So, to answer your question, Yes, you may tell me what you are thinking."

Charlotte stopped walking and turned to face him. "You, too, have someone who cares about you and whom you may confide in. Mrs. Wheatley is fiercely protective of you and cares about you a great deal."

Charlotte's observation was astute, and she was right of course.

"Yes, Miss Heywood. She knows me very well."

"I must be on my way, Mr. Colbourne."

Alexander nodded and watched as she made her way back to town. He did not take his gaze from her until she was a tiny speck in the distance.

When he got back to the house, he saddled Hannibal and went for a long ride to think over all that had transpired today.

It was clear that she had not forgiven him yet, and God knows, he did not blame her. He thought about the power his words had to hurt her. If she only knew how difficult it had been to send her away. He had done what he thought best, and he would give anything for a chance to turn back the clock and ask for her hand instead.

Lady Susan had challenged him to put the past behind him. He needed to not only let the pain of his marriage go, but also the wounds of his childhood as well. He had once told Charlotte that she was at Heyrick Park to teach the girls, not him, but he had learned important lessons from her example.

Charlotte had shown him that he was guarding his heart too closely, and by doing so, he had stopped living. He was existing, and now that he had known what it was like to love another person as he did her, he never wanted to go back to the man he was before.

Tonight, he would talk to the girls about some changes he wanted to make to the house. He would move Lucy's portrait to the sitting room connected to Leo's bedroom. He would allow Augusta to go through Lucy's dresses and keep any that she wanted. He would ask Mrs. Wheatley to help him pack up Lucy's things, keeping only a few special things for Leo. He would have the spinet tuned and hire someone to come to the house to give Leo lessons.

He would lay Lucy's ghost to rest in his home and more importantly, in his heart. He would love Leo all the more because she was the best part of her mother.

Charlotte's love gave him reason to finally forgive himself.

He turned Hannibal toward home, and a sense of peace settled over him. Whatever else happened from this time forth, Alexander Colbourne knew his life had been changed forever by Charlotte, and he would endeavor to be to be a better man, a better father, and if he was most fortunate, the kind of husband she deserved.