Chapter Five: Endings and Beginnings
The next morning, Charlotte dressed and left the house before anyone else was up and about. She wanted to take a walk on the beach.
Today was Georgiana's Birthday Ball. Alison and Declan, along with Ralph, would be arriving in Sanditon this afternoon.
Charlotte and Alison had always been very close, and Charlotte hoped for a chance to speak with her sister before the ball tonight. She was going to need her support to get through the evening knowing that she was going to break things off with Ralph afterwards.
Charlotte would do what needed to be done, and she would be gentle with his heart.
She walked back to the house to have breakfast with the family.
Mary said, "There are you, Charlotte! My goodness, you were out early this morning."
Charlotte said, "I felt like a walk on the beach this morning, Mary."
"Well, sit down and at least have a cup of tea with Georgiana and me. We plan to go over to the assembly rooms later this morning to check on the decorations for the ball."
Charlotte said she would go along.
A servant brought a note and handed it to Mary.
"Charlotte, this note is for you."
Charlotte furrowed her brow, "For me?"
Mary handed it to her.
It was from Miss Markham. She asked Miss Heywood to meet her at the assembly rooms for tea at 10:00.
Charlotte said, "Miss Markham has asked to meet me this morning, at 10:00. I wonder what she wants to talk about?"
Mary and Georgiana exchanged a look, but said nothing.
Charlotte sent a note with the servant from Heyrick Park agreeing to the meeting.
After breakfast, Charlotte went to change her dress and tidy her hair. She grabbed her bonnet and gloves, and then went to meet Miss Markham.
Charlotte had just arrived when she saw the familiar green carriage pull up. Thankfully, Miss Markham was alone.
"Miss Markham, how lovely to see you!"
They embraced.
"Miss Heywood, I learned you were in town only yesterday, and I wanted a moment to speak to you before tonight."
The two ladies settled at their table and after each had a steaming cup of tea in front of them, Miss Markham said, "Miss Heywood, I was told some alarming news yesterday."
"Yes, and what is that?"
"I was told that you are engaged to be married."
Charlotte looked over at her young friend and said, "It is true, but things are complicated at this moment, Miss Markham. I cannot say more than that just yet because it would be unfair to Mr. Starling."
"He will be in Sanditon later today, along with my sister and her husband to attend Miss Lambe's ball tonight."
Miss Markham said. "Uncle and I will be there as well, so perhaps I will meet him?"
"Of course, Miss Markham."
"Miss Heywood, I will get to the point of why I asked you to meet, and I hope you will not think me impertinent."
Charlotte said, "Please go on, Miss Markham."
'My Uncle Alexander may seem to be a man of little feeling, and that was all I knew of him before you came to Heyrick Park. He had shut himself off from the world long ago, but now, I know him to be a man of deep feeling."
Charlotte just nodded her head. "Go on, Miss Markham."
"Am I wrong to believe that you had or even may still have, feelings for my uncle, Miss Heywood?"
Miss Markham did not miss the quick flicker of emotion cross Miss Heywood's face, just as she had not missed the emotions that had flitted across her uncle's face when he saw Miss Heywood in town yesterday.
Charlotte said, "Miss Markham, all I will say is that I believe your uncle did what he thought was best for the situation we found ourselves in. I was left with little choice but to accept it. My feelings did not matter then, nor do they matter now."
Miss Markham realized that Miss Heywood was not going to be more forthcoming than that, so she changed the subject. However, she did think there might be some hope for her uncle and Miss Heywood yet, especially since Miss Heywood was evasive about her engagement.
The ladies visited for an hour or so more about Miss Markham's time in London, and then parted company until later tonight.
After lunch, the guests from Willingden arrived. Ralph and Declan had tea with the Parkers, and then went to see about rooms at the hotel.
Alison, Georgiana and Charlotte went to Georgiana's room so that Alison could borrow a dress for the ball tonight.
Alison said, "Father got your letter this morning, Charlotte, and he spoke to Declan and me about it. He and Mother are not happy that you will not marry Mr. Starling."
"Declan and I explained our own circumstances of coming together after William's true nature was revealed, if you can use truth and Captain Carter in the same sentence."
"My dear sister, please know that I want you to know the same happiness when you marry that I have found with Declan. Georgiana, I want the same for you, too."
"Father will get over his disappointment because he loves you so dearly, Charlotte."
"Your letter said that you will tell Ralph tonight after the ball. Declan and I agree it is the right thing for you to do, and we support you in it."
"If it makes you feel any better, I believe Ralph may know in his heart that you do not want to marry him. He was pensive and had little to say on the carriage ride here."
Charlotte hugged her sister, and thanked her.
The girls spent the next hour deciding on a dress for Alison to wear.
Declan and Ralph came back to Trafalgar House to collect Alison, and Ralph asked if he and Miss Heywood could go for a walk alone.
They walked along the beach a short way, then Ralph turned to her and said, "I do not believe I make you happy, Miss Heywood, but if I am wrong in my assessment of what is in your heart, then please correct me."
Charlotte knew that the moment had come to be completely candid with him, "Mr. Starling, your proposal of marriage came at a time when I was grieving for a loss that I do not want to speak of now. I was wrong to accept your offer because I did not have room in my heart for you. I have done you a terrible wrong, and I only hope you can forgive me."
Ralph said, "Miss Heywood, I have loved you for a long time now. The farm girl I knew from Willingden came home from Sanditon, both times, a changed woman. I think if we would have married before you ever experienced life outside our village, we could have been very happy."
"However, you have known a different life, and as a man who loves you, it would be very selfish of me to want you to have a life with me when it is not what your heart desires."
He stopped and took her hands in his, "Miss Heywood, you must be honest with me and with yourself."
Charlotte searched his dear face, and she could see in his eyes that he was most sincere. There was pain in those eyes, but understanding as well.
"Mr. Starling, I cannot marry you."
He let out the breath he had been holding, and even though she spoke the words he had expected her to, it still hurt to hear them.
Mr. Starling started walking again, and said, "Well then. There it is."
"I would still like to attend the ball tonight anyway. I am no longer your fiancé, but a friend from Willingden. Are you comfortable with that Miss Heywood?"
"Yes, I think you should come. I want you to come."
Charlotte looked up at his handsome face, "Mr. Starling, may I say how much I admire what a gentleman you are?"
"I will accept your compliment, Miss Heywood, and while I wished things could be different, I accept they cannot be."
"I will speak to Declan and Alison about our decision when I get back to the hotel."
"Tomorrow, when I return to Willingden, I will go to your father, and I will speak to him that the decision to break the engagement was mutual."
Mr. Starling walked Charlotte back to Trafalgar House, then it was a long time before he went to the hotel.
He returned to the beach, and allowed himself to feel disappointed but relieved to finally have the matter settled. He loved Miss Heywood too well to be her second choice, and he had a feeling another man had her heart. In fact, if he was a betting man, he would place last year's harvest on it.
Tonight, he would put his feelings aside, and he would do his best to make the night a special one for all of them. He would have given Miss Heywood the world, but it was not to be. He would endeavor only to leave her with a sense of peace and understanding. He was not privy to the details of what had happened to break her heart before she had accepted him, and he would not add to her pain. There was nothing to be served by feeling angry or bitter about it all.
Back at Trafalgar House, after a light supper, the ladies began to get ready for the ball. Mary came into Charlotte's room to help her dress her hair.
"My darling, do you want to tell me what happened when you went on the walk with Mr. Starling?"
Charlotte turned to Mary and said, "He is a very understanding man, Mary. That is all I want to tell you about it now. We are no longer engaged, and tonight, he will attend the ball. I think it will be good for us to have closure and to part on good terms."
Mary was glad to hear it, and as she dressed Charlotte's hair, she said, "I think tonight is going to be a wonderful evening."
Charlotte agreed, and with the matter of the engagement behind her, she believed it would be the start of a new chapter in her life.
Georgiana had invited everyone she knew. Even Lady Susan would be here, but only through tomorrow. Her father was ailing, and she spent as much time with him as she could. Of course, she had even invited Lady Denham. Georgiana considered her a thorn in her side, but one did not have a social event in town and did not invite the First Lady of Sanditon.
The assembly rooms were decorated beautifully, and the musicians were warming up as guests arrived dressed in their finest. Charlotte arrived with Ralph, Alison and Declan. To her relief and surprise, she was not uncomfortable with Ralph. Mr. Stringer joined their little group and introductions were made. He claimed to have a dance with Charlotte later that evening, then went to see other friends.
Lady Susan had arrived and was speaking with Mary. Charlotte excused herself and went to join them.
"Lady Susan, it is lovely to see you! I am so glad you came."
"Me, too, my dear girl, it promises to be an interesting evening."
Lady Susan leaned in and whispered, "I hear you are now free as a bird, my dear."
"Yes, I am, and I must say, Lady Susan, Mr. Starling was very much a gentleman about it."
At that moment, Mary nudged her. Mr. Colbourne and Miss Markham had arrived.
Lady Susan missed nothing as she watched Alexander Colbourne scan the room until he saw Charlotte. Neither did she miss the look of longing on his face before he quickly masked it.
Charlotte gave him a small smile.
So that is how the wind blew, so to speak. Lady Susan would watch the pair of them all evening, and in the morning before she left to go back to her father's estate, she would give her young friend some advice based on what she observed tonight. Yes, it looked as if Charlotte had once again fallen in love, and things had not worked out as they should have.
The music began and a young man claimed Miss Markham for the first dance, then Ralph asked Charlotte to dance as well.
Mr. Stringer claimed her for the next dance.
James gave Charlotte a brilliant smile, "Miss Heywood, have you given any thought to our last conversation?"
"Yes, thank you. I have written to my father and my sister has told me that he is not happy, but he understands that I will not be making my home in Willingden."
Charlotte continued, "This afternoon, a certain man and I had a conversation that led to a mutual agreement to end our engagement."
Mr. Stringer was pleased for her, "Well then. It would seem that you have your current situation well in hand."
"I do, and thank you for your wise advice, Mr. Stringer."
Alexander was standing on the sidelines. He did not know the man that Charlotte was dancing with. He was not yet thirty, in Alexander's estimation, and they made a handsome couple. But who was he and who was that first man she danced with?
He danced with Augusta only once, feeling glad that her dance card was full. He was an outlier and preferred to watch from the sidelines.
So far, Charlotte had danced every dance, and there had been little opportunity to speak to her.
He saw her talking and laughing with Georgiana, Lady Susan, and Arthur Parker. He felt frustrated. He wanted to speak to her, but he did not have the courage, nor did he have the right after all that had passed between them.
He stepped out into the night air when his longing for her threatened to overwhelm him.
Declan had seen Mr. Colbourne step outside. He followed him, and asked if they could have a word.
"I served for many years under Colonel Lennox, and I was at his tent the day you came looking for your daughter."
Colbourne nodded his head in acknowledgement. He remembered Captain Fraser from that day.
"Colonel Lennox is an effective officer in battle because he can devise a strategic plan to attack the enemy, and then he strikes with brutal force. He is most often victorious. Even as a soldier, I have often found him calculating and cold. It is why I resigned my commission. I could no longer serve under a man who had so little personal integrity."
"Colbourne, I believe there is a great deal to your history with the colonel, but it is none of my business. I am a private man myself."
"However, I am Miss Charlotte Heywood's brother-in-law now, and I feel it my duty to look out for her best interests if I see the need to."
Declan said, "I have three words for you, Colbourne."
"Do not retreat."
Alexander was confused, and said, "She is engaged, Fraser."
"Not any longer, Colbourne."
"Thank you, Fraser."
Declan looked at Colbourne intently, nodded and walked back inside to locate his wife.
Alexander stood outside for a moment. She was no longer engaged. She had met his eyes and smiled at him.
He walked back inside and spotted her talking with Miss Lambe and Lady Susan. She was turned to the side and the ladies were speaking behind their fans. Georgiana saw him, and nudged Charlotte. She looked over her shoulder at him and once again their eyes met.
He walked over to her. He greeted Miss Lambe, and was introduced to Lady Susan.
He held out his hand arm to Charlotte and said, "May I have this dance, Miss Heywood?"
She looked at Lady Susan and Georgiana, and Lady Susan said, "Go on, Charlotte."
The music began and Alexander took Charlotte in his arms. She smelled of lavender and roses and he had to concentrate to remember the steps because he was so caught up in being close to her. He looked down at her lips that he had tasted twice before, and he had to reign in his thoughts.
Finally, she spoke. "Mr. Colbourne, it is kind of you to bring Miss Markham to the ball since you are not fond of society."
"Thank you, Miss Heywood."
He asked her, "How long are you in Sanditon, Miss Heywood?"
"I am here indefinitely, Mr. Colbourne. I am living with the Parkers."
"You are welcome at Heyrick Park anytime you want to visit. The girls miss you."
Charlotte looked at him and smiled, "As I miss them. Perhaps, Mr. Colbourne, when I go to visit my parents next week, Miss Colbourne would like to come with me? I have twin sisters, Caroline and Catherine who are the same age. It could be great fun for her. Of course, Miss Markham is welcome to come as well. She and my sister Rachel might find a friend in each other."
Alexander was surprised at her offer, but said he would consider it.
The music ended, and the two of them stood there for a moment. Charlotte stepped back, and bowed.
She was asked to dance again by Mr. Starling, and Charlotte introduced the two men briefly.
Colbourne watched the two of them with some curiosity. It would seem as if their agreement to end their engagement had been mutual. He detected no animosity between them.
He went to the refreshment table for some punch, and Mr. Stringer decided to introduce himself.
I do not believe we know each other, "I am James Stringer, formally of Sanditon, but now of London."
The two men shook hands.
"Alexander Colbourne."
James had seen the way Colbourne, and Miss Heywood had looked at each other when they had danced. It was reminiscent of watching Miss Heywood with Mr. Sidney Parker.
"Miss Heywood tells me that she was your governess, Mr. Colbourne."
"Yes, for a time. She is very good with my daughter and my niece."
James Stringer said, "Miss Heywood is the most extraordinary woman I have ever known. I hope that she will not have cause to regret staying in Sanditon, Mr. Colbourne. She deserves happiness after all she has been through. I want that for her, as does everyone else who cares for her."
"Of course, Mr. Stringer."
James had said all he wanted to say, and he went to find Miss Heywood for a dance.
Instead of a birthday cake to celebrate the occasion of Georgiana's birthday, waiters handed out glasses of champagne.
Both Arthur and Tom gave birthday toasts, and everyone wished Georgiana well.
The musicians played on for another hour, but people were beginning to take their leave.
Lady Susan and Charlotte found a secluded little alcove to sit in, and talk. Lady Susan made some observations to Charlotte, and her young friend confirmed her thinking.
Charlotte said, "Lady Susan, would you like to come in the morning to Trafalgar House for breakfast before you leave Sanditon?"
"Yes, my darling girl, I would love that. We must have a private conversation, if that is agreeable, Charlotte?"
"Yes, we must. I will see you in the morning."
Lady Susan left for the hotel.
Augusta did not want to leave the ball without speaking to Charlotte, and after she and her uncle had thanked Miss Lambe for the lovely evening, she finally saw her.
"Excuse me, Uncle. Will you wait for me at the carriage?"
"Of course, Augusta."
Augusta took Charlotte's hand in hers, "Miss Heywood, please come to tea tomorrow afternoon. Leo wants to see you, and of course, I do, too."
"Yes, I will come."
"Until tomorrow then, Miss Heywood."
"Until tomorrow, Miss Markham."
At Heyrick Park, after he had said goodnight to Augusta and Mrs. Wheatley had told him Leo was sleeping soundly upstairs, Alexander went to sit in the garden. The night air was crisp, and he lifted his face to look at the stars.
He remembered the significant moments of the night. Charlotte had smiled at him, and they had talked during their dance, and ... he had held her in his arms.
She was no longer engaged to another man, and she would live in Sanditon.
It meant everything, but it would not, it could not, change anything. For her sake.