Alex gets all of his qualifications to be a zookeeper in order. He loves animals, okay? Then, his first job is taking care of a pet for a supervillain. Should he call MI6? Nahhhh

Brendan Chase knows he's a scummy person. He does not appreciate being blamed for the Australian Prime Minister's own corruption and blunders. Time to invite Alex to dinner to expose him. Rating may change.

Alex is suddenly body-swapped with Brendan Chase. What's hilarious is that nobody is noticing the fucking difference for either of them.

Some rules are meant to be followed. Others were made to be broken. John decided the rule of not writing about his ordeals was one of the latter. Years later, Alex finds a notebook in the attic and decides he needs to know what it means. His decision changes a lot.

Doctor Three starts sending Alex 'Thank you' flowers and signed copies of his most recent books after he kills Razim and The Grimaldi Twins.

In a turn of events, Winston Yu and Alex Rider turn out to be cousins. All sorts of fun ensues. Set after Skeleton Key.

Nile is allergic to cats. The stupid tiger that Mrs. Rothman insisted on getting and then ignored after about a month loves him for some ungodly reason.

MI6 never had a good track record when it came to Alex Rider. When his most recent mission goes predictably off the rails, it takes ten days without contact before anyone in London reacts. In retrospect, MI6 should probably have looked a little sooner. Or: Alex becomes an accidental supervillain. Mostly fluff by Alex Rider standards.

Fiona falls in love with Alex after he saves her in the train tunnel, which I feel makes more sense than the abrupt breakoff of their relationship in the original story.

Alex is finally rescued from his creepy stalker (cough, Yassen keeps following him, cough). Alex has never been more terrified of an old lady with a cane. Major Character Death.

Alex's annual review is coming up again. He has to write a short summary of his achievements for the year. Apparently "feeding a supervillain to alligators" doesn't count - that doesn't seem fair!

Alex Rider has torched many places before but he never deliberately locked the doors and windows until now.

Steph never thought she'd have to sign an OSA. She didn't know that her husband had already signed too many to count. She didn't know how good Tom was at acting. She certainly didn't know he could, let alone would, lie to her. Right now, she isn't too sure what to think. But all will be revealed...

Some organizations have a list of goals. SCORPIA has a copy of the Geneva convention.

Donna Treat has been sent undercover as a supply teacher. Unfortunately she failed chemistry. This is going to be a disaster. Alex can't stop watching.

Alex Rider dies and makes a deal to go back and fix everything with a suspicious figure...surprise! It works. Now he is back four years before the day his uncle dies. Can he train and pass as his age without raising suspicion? Good thing keeping up a front is what he was trained for... Note: Rating may increase. Updates are aimed at once a month, and never more than two apart.

Can you please do something where Alex deals with an airplane hijacking, but he's annoyed at the fact that it was his flight that got hijacked? [This a fanfiction that parodies airline hijackings with a side of satire. Please read at your own discretion.]

Malagasto gets inspected by the Italian education board for OSHA reasons. How large is the bribe going to have to be?

If you haven’t read @Starsteppers “There’s no place like home” I suggest you go read that before this. This is a two shot based off of that FanFiction. I do not own any characters or Alex Rider. Character limit 5,000.

Alex Rider is sick of people dying because of him, so he does the only thing he can-he becomes someone else. 19 year old Matthew Smith passes Selection and joins the SAS, but not everyone seems to appreciate his company...at first. Maybe these people he swore he wouldn't get close to will become the family he needs...unless his enemies are closer than he thinks. K-Unit and OCs!

An electronic remote for the newest supervillian device blows up. Right in front of Alex's salad! He knows that there is no way in hell this guy won't believe it's him.

"Questions surround this week's tragic death of Alex Rider, 14, who plunged to their death from the forty-first floor of the Royal and General Bank today. As the tragic story unfolds, mystery surrounds the decisions..." (A more likely end to the flagpole scene, with Blunt making a massive mess out of the situation). Rated M for Gore. Warning: Major Character Death.

In one world, Cossack heard about Albert Bridge and looked the other way. In another, John Rider found a stray assassin on his doorstep. An AU told in snapshots for the Alex Rider Big Bang. Updates irregularly as real life allows.

Supervillian blind date where they destroy a city together to see how compatible they are as a couple. Hint: This does not turn out as well as Brendan Chase thought it would.

After a hard year with a poor ending, Alex Rider is starting to slow. Retired from 6 and living in foster care, he was starting to loose sight of the light of life. But maybe, all it takes to get back on track is the right people. The right family. Now with new content and (semi) regular updates.