In the end, Mom let Frisk have some cider anyway. (Chara wasn't around to request hot chocolate.)

After dinner, they went to bed early. Technically that was their choice. The distant look in Mom's eye might have had something to do with it. Whatever memories were in that book, she must want to forget.

Chara would know why.

Chara was a Dreemurr. And Mom… it seemed like she was a Dreemurr too.

Frisk buried themself under the covers, scrunching their eyes shut against the darkness.

Please don't leave me all alone again, they called out to Chara. I just wanted to help.

I'm right here. Don't be such a crybaby.

Frisk's eyes shot open. "You came back!"

Of course I did. There's nothing else to do. Despite not having a body, Chara made some kind of snorting noise. That's how Frisk's mind interpreted it, anyway. If I had talked to you at dinner, you would've asked too many questions. Mom would've noticed something was off. She's smart like that.

"She's your mom. That's why you know her so well, and that's why you got all weird when—"

I didn't get weird. I just— Chara huffed, but it was hard to tell what they were feeling. Annoyed? Tired? Confused?

Frisk was confused. If Chara was Mom's kid too, shouldn't she be able to hear them?

It was just a lot, okay? But I'm not leaving again. I don't want to go back to… to not being here.

Frisk didn't get it. But at least Chara wasn't going away.

"We're going to find that book. Then I'll be able to explain everything. Maybe it'll help." Chara didn't sound too hopeful.

"Help what?" Frisk asked.

...I'm not sure. I just want to… I want to see him again.

"Dad?"

Chara laughed. Sure. I miss him too.

Frisk frowned. There was still so much Chara wasn't telling them. But no one ever told them everything. This was probably the best they were going to get.

"I don't want to take the book, though," Frisk whispered. "Mom's already mad at us. At me."

Please. You've never seen her get really mad. She was easier on you than she ever was on me and—

They cut off. They kept doing that. Getting so close to a secret, and then shutting themself off.

"You and who? Did she get mad at Dad, too?" It sounded like it, from how Mom talked about him. But that wouldn't be a secret, right?

You know what? I'll tell you.

"Really?" They grinned.

Yeah, sure. If you help me get that book back.

Frisk's heart fell. They couldn't. They couldn't make Mom mad again. She had shown them mercy. Breaking their promise to her would be like spitting in her face.

Mom always shows mercy, Chara said. I was just kidding, before. You know. Scaring you. It was just a joke.

"Not a very funny one," Frisk grumbled.

It didn't matter. They weren't scared because of Chara's ominous old warning.They were scared because they'd seen Mom's eyes.

Crybaby, Chara jabbed.

Frisk rolled over in their bed, but covering their head with blankets didn't block out Chara's mysterious voice.

She doesn't have to know if we borrow the book. I bet she's sleeping right now.

"That's what you said last time. Mom's smarter than you. She'll find out."

We'll be sneakier this time. You just have to listen to—

Frisk threw off the blankets and hopped down from the bed.

Finally. Now, there's one board that creaks, so—

"I'm not looking for the book," Frisk hissed under their breath. "I'm going to sleep with Mom."

They pushed open the door and walked down the hall. One of the boards creaked, but Frisk didn't care. It would be better if Mom was awake anyway.

Her bedroom door was open. Frisk looked inside… but it was empty.

Their heart began to race.

Geez, don't panic. I bet she just got up for a midnight snack or something.

Right. Frisk took a deep breath and headed back the opposite direction.

The fireplace was lit, but it flickered erratically, casting sharp shadows on the living room walls.

"Mom?" Frisk called out quietly. "Mom, I couldn't sleep…"

She was sitting at the table, her head bent low. Was she reading? The table wasn't as comfy as her big chair.

"Mom?" They crept around to see her better.

A large jug of cider sat on the table, bending the firelight that shone through it. Next to it was the book Chara wanted to steal. Mom's paw ran across one of its photos fondly.

"Oh! Chara!" Mom giggled, and Frisk's blood ran cold. Could she see them? Had something changed?

If so, she didn't seem surprised. Her eyes just looked glassy.

"You're not trying to sneak chocolate out of the refir—ferid—ridge—" Her brow furrowed, and then surprisingly, she blew a raspberry. "Anyway! No chocolate. It is way past your bedtime, my child."

She put her hands on her hips, and her glasses slid down her nose. She didn't make any effort to fix them.

Frisk sniffed the air. The familiar smell made their blood run cold. Patrick always smelled like that after he and Mae had their worst fights.

"Mom, I'm so sorry—please, I didn't mean to make you so mad—" Frisk's hands shook along with their voice. They didn't dare reach for the bottle of spiked cider. It was their fault, all their fault for listening to Chara instead of doing what was right—

"Oh, I suppose you can have a liiiiiiittle chocolate." Mom scooted her chair out with a loud screech. Then she scooped Frisk close, surrounding them in the sickly sweet smell of alcohol. "It will be our secret. Do not…" She yawned, "Do not tell your father…"

Still holding Frisk, she moved to stand—but she clearly overestimated her balance. They both crashed to the ground in an awkward lump. Frisk hissed as their head hit the hardwood.

It wasn't on purpose. It wasn't on purpose. Mom would never get drunk and hurt them on purpose… right?

"Oh—oh dear." Mom rolled over, moving her arm from where it was still squishing them. "I—I am terribly sorry, I—d-don't seem to… be… myself…"

She covered her face with one paw, but made no move to get up.

"Mom?" Frisk knelt over her.

"Ch-Chara… go back to bed. You should not… see me like this…"

Tears leaked through the gaps in her fingers.

"It's me, Frisk." They ignored the pang in their soul, and they placed their tiny hands over Mom's much larger one. "I think… I think you should go to bed."

"I… cannot sleep…" Her voice came out hoarse. "I have failed you again, my child…"

Frisk wasn't sure if Mom was really seeing them, or if she still thought they were Chara. Where was Chara? If Mom was their mom too, shouldn't they know how to help her?

I've never seen her like this, Chara murmured. Whenever she drank too much, she usually just got rowdy. She threw a pie at Dad once. It was so funny, I couldn't stop laughing...

They weren't laughing now. It must have really shaken Chara if they were offering memories like this.

"Chara… Asriel… Frisk… you all deserve a b-better mother than me."

She rolled over onto her side, curling up into a ball. Frisk had never thought such a big monster could look so small.

"No, Mom." Frisk pet the soft fur between her horns. She felt too warm. "I'm sorry. I was supposed to be better…"

Mom didn't reply to that. She was busy crying again.

Don't stare. Let's get her some water. Despite their confident words, Chara sounded as shaken as Frisk felt.

They went to the kitchen and filled a plastic cup to the brim. (Glasses or mugs seemed too dangerous for now.) They placed it near Mom's head, then went to fetch her some blankets.

When they returned with their arms full of knitted blankets, the fire was crackling peacefully. Mom was sitting up and sipping the water.

"Do you, um, feel better?" Frisk asked quietly.

"You should not have to ask me that, my child." Mom stared down into her cup.

"But you were so angry and sad. Because of me." They sat cross-legged beside her. The blankets fell into a heap around them.

Mom looked up sharply. For a moment Frisk thought she was mad again. But her eyes were wide with surprise, not narrowed in anger.

"None of this is your fault, Frisk." She scooted closer to them. After a moment of hesitation, she set down the water and wrapped them in a hug.

Frisk let out a breath they hadn't realized they were holding.

"I am so sorry that I made you think that," Mom murmured. "You are a wonderful child, in your own right. Not just because you remind me of…"

"Chara?" They offered. Chara seemed to flinch within them.

"Yes." Mom's eyes closed. She squeezed Frisk tighter.

"Why don't you ever talk about them?" they couldn't help asking.

Mom and Chara clearly loved each other. Mom must have been able to hear Chara before… whatever happened to them. Maybe it just hurt too much for her to think about.

"It is… complicated." Mom's sigh ruffled the back of Frisk's shirt. "I will tell you, my child. Soon. You are my family, and they would have been your—your sibling."

A sibling. It had never connected before, even when Chara also called Toriel "Mom."

Frisk had never had a sibling before. The thought filled them with warmth and determination.

I'll be a good sibling, they told Chara. I promise.

There was a beat of silence. Maybe Chara didn't want a sibling. They probably wished they were the one Mom was hugging.

Frisk, their blunt voice came. You already are.

They smiled, determination burning brighter within them. They would convince Chara to talk to Mom, eventually. Then they would both be happy, and all three of them could be a family. The way they were supposed to be.

Let's not get too carried away, Chara said, but they didn't sound mad.

Mom sniffed. Frisk wished they had a tissue to offer her.

"I just… never feel ready to talk about them," she said softly. "After all these years, you would think…"

"It's okay." Frisk patted her back. She laughed at that.

"Pathetic, is it not?"

"No." Mom could never be pathetic.

"Ha. You are too kind to this old woman." Mom let go, leaving Frisk cold. "Come, my child. It is far past time for us to rest."

She helped them to their feet, even though she was still unsteady herself. She nearly fell back down when she bent to gather the blankets.

"I can do it." Frisk scooped them up before she could hurt herself. It was… sort of nice, helping Mom like this. Even if they wished the horrible smell of alcohol would go away.

"Too kind…" She echoed with a yawn. "This will not happen again. I will be good. Like you."

She ruffled Frisk's hair, and they smiled a little. It was hard to feel like they were good. But Mom wouldn't lie.

Frisk thought about asking Mom if they could sleep with her, but considering the smell and their earlier fall, they decided against it. Maybe tomorrow.

They shuffled back to their bedroom, trailing blankets. Chara didn't speak for the rest of the night.