After lunch, the kids went to play with Legos in the little space off the living room.
Olivia sat at the dining table with a newspaper splayed out before her as she waited for the furniture delivery.
Some music softly played from the smart speaker on one of the shelves in the kitchen.
Though she had the newspaper in front of her, she wasn't looking at it. She was staring at a chair across from her, lost in thought.
She was thinking about how happy she was, but that worried her. Every time she'd thought herself happy before something had occurred to ruin it. She was certain that if she let herself be happy something would go wrong.
"Anything interesting in that newspaper?" Rafael's voice startled Olivia.
She turned toward the sound of his voice.
His face was clean shaven and his hair had been trimmed, his tie hung loosened and his suspenders were off his arms, hanging down around his hips. He laid his jacket and vest over the back of one of the chairs and sat his briefcase in the chair.
"You went to a barber?" She raised an eyebrow.
"I did," he nodded, "on my way home."
"You look wonderful," she smiled.
"Well, I did it purely for selfish reasons," he chuckled as he sat in the chair she'd been staring at.
"What's that?"
"I realized it was a hinderance this morning when you touched my jaw and I wanted to be able to feel and appreciate it properly," he shrugged.
She rolled her eyes and smiled a little, "well, I suppose that is selfish."
He chuckled again, "I told you."
"How dare you be so selfish," her tone was dripping with sarcasm and amusement.
"Enough about the beard," he laughed for a moment and then leaned forward, resting his arms on the table, "you were very lost in thought when I walked in."
She nodded, searching his face and taking in every detail, "I didn't hear you come in. I'm sorry."
"It's okay, darling," he smiled reassuringly, "what were you thinking about?"
"I was just worrying," she shook her head and pulled her eyes from him to look at the newspaper in front of her.
"What about?" He questioned as he leaned over his arms on the table.
She shook her head again, "I'm afraid if I speak it into the universe it'll happen."
"But if you hold it in it'll drive you crazy," his voice was gentle, "I'm not going to push you, if you don't want to talk about it it's okay. I just want you to know that I'm here to listen if or when you do."
Liv didn't look up at him, she just reached a hand across the table for him to take.
Rafa took her hand carefully in both of his and brought it up, pressing a light kiss to her knuckles.
"How did voir dire go?" She asked softly.
"Well, I believe. That Staten Island ADA could take a lesson from Carisi honestly," he rolled his eyes.
"How do you mean?"
"Well, I'm not a prosecutor anymore so I can't walk in there and try to give him tips, but Carisi learned from me and learned from his own experiences. Last I went against him, he knew damn well what he was doing."
"I won't tell him you said that," she laughed and finally looked up again.
"Please don't," he smiled, "but Carisi is a strong opponent and I actually quite enjoy going against him despite the fact that I'm going against a friend. He's a challenge at this point unlike this ADA for this case. I may as well consider this a win. His case is weak and his choices are weak."
"Don't get too cocky, Rafael."
His cocky smirk appeared as she'd hoped it would.
"Don't count out an underdog," she reminded, raising an eyebrow.
"I know," he nodded.
"I'm not saying I doubt you, you're one of the best lawyers I've ever worked with and unfortunately against," she said, "I just also don't want you to walk in there overconfident and turn the jury off."
"I am the defense, you know. We're supposed to be confident."
"I do. I also know that if you want a jury to be sympathetic to whoever you're representing, you can't walk in there like you've already won, otherwise they'll want to prove you wrong."
He considered her words, "I suppose that's true."
"I've been a part of enough trials to notice these things, counselor," she smiled.
"You're being very bad, giving advice to defense lawyers," he playfully scolded.
She knew it was a joke but she still felt terrible, "well, I'm not giving advice to defense lawyers. I'm giving advice to you. I love you and I want to support you in your career and I don't want to feel bad about it."
His face softened, though the slightly cocky upturn at the edge of his mouth still remained, "Liv, I'm teasing. I appreciate your advice and I understand what you're saying. I'm not going to go around broadcasting some narrative that you're helping me with any cases or even broadcasting our relationship before we're ready for people behind the squad to know."
She nodded.
"I understand that you're not helping the case and that you're helping me," the cocky smirk turned to a reassuring small smile, "and I appreciate you helping me because I don't intend to excuse cockiness all the time and sometimes I don't even notice when I am and I need to be called on it. So really, I appreciate that you're willing to do that."
She nodded a little, her brow was furrowed as she felt the worries begin to subside.
The furniture had been delivered and Rafa was helping the kids move things around Aspen's room while Liv made dinner.
They'd taken the time to get the room for the twins set up ,just in case they're able to bring them home soon, before jumping into Aspen's room.
"Okay," Aspen came out of her room, followed by Noah.
"Are you guys done?" Liv asked, looking for Rafa.
"No, water break," Aspen smiled at her.
Rafael appeared and leaned against the doorway.
"I'm thinking about what I want to hang on my walls sometime and I think I want a couple of posters and some pictures of our family probably."
Liv made eye contact with Rafa, her face softened.
"Uncle Sonny takes really good pictures!" Noah informed her, "I can tell him we need to go to the park and take pictures before summer's over."
"He's the important lawyer guy, right?"
Rafa snorted and then coughed, trying to hide his laugh.
"Yes, that's him," Noah confirmed, looking toward the older man.
"Can I meet Amanda's girls soon? She told me all about them and they sound really nice," Aspen seemed to get distracted and turned to Olivia.
"They are! Jesse and Billie, they're like our cousins basically," Noah informed as he was trying to climb on the counter to get cups.
Liv scooped him up and put him on the ground and then grabbed some cups for them.
They went to the refrigerator and got water and then sat at the island.
"We can try to set up a playdate soon," Liv nodded.
"That would be really great," Noah sounded incredibly excited.
"What if we had a house heating party?" Aspen asked.
Rafael approached finally, "you want to have a house warming party?"
"Oh… yeah… that," Aspen sounded a bit embarrassed.
"We could do that," he nodded, giving her a reassuring smile, "we could definitely do that."
"We have to wait to find out about the twins, though," Noah added.
Aspen seemed to relax over not knowing the correct phrase once she realized no one was going to pick on her for it or anything of the sort.
"Once both couches get here and we find out for sure if we'll get to bring the twins home, we absolutely can have a party," Liv smiled at Aspen.
"Yay! Okay, back to work!" Noah finished his water, "I think we'll be able to finish the stuff, Rafa, if you wanna help momma."
"You got it, kiddo," Rafael ruffled his hair.
The children ran off again, leaving their cups on the bar.
"Messy," he chuckled.
"They can use them at dinner," Liv smiled and shook her head.
"House warming party," Rafael said as he came over to hug Liv from behind and rest his chin on her shoulder.
"Could invite the squad and their kids," she continued stirring the macaroni in the pot.
"Mami is home from Florida for the summer, I've spoken to her a few times about everything that's going on…"
"We should invite her over for dinner probably before a housewarming party," Liv realized, "let her meet Aspen, maybe the twins… if they're here by then."
"We could try for Friday?"
"I'll be back at work but I'm sure we'll be tying up lose ends for Carisi, and by we, I mean the squad and I'll be in my office."
"Which means home by five again," he smiled and kissed her cheek.
"Exactly."
"Well, my trial starts Wednesday afternoon," he began, "which means we should have Lucy over tomorrow to introduce Aspen and let them get comfortable while we're here."
"After our ACS meeting," Liv nodded, "I can text her about it."
"Are we taking them with us to that?"
"Do you think we shouldn't?"
"I'm worried that if we do and we can't bring the twins home with us tomorrow, they're going to be upset."
"Maybe I'll see if Lucy can come earlier, then."
Rafa nodded and carefully took the wooden spoon from her, "check with her before it gets too late. I can make sure the macaroni doesn't stick."
She laughed softly and grabbed her phone from the counter and moved aside to text Lucy.
As she looked at her phone after sending the text, she realized she had a missed call and text from Eli Stabler.
Eli to Olivia;
Hi Olivia, I was curious if you'd heard from dad. I haven't seen him in three days and he didn't say anything about going undercover again.
Olivia looked up, "that's not good."
Rafa looked at her and hummed.
She showed him the text.
His face molded into one of concern as he looked at her. He was worried for Stabler's children if the man had done something and he was worried for Liv. There was a small part of him who was also worried about Stabler, but if asked he wouldn't admit to it… but he didn't want to see anything happen to the man.
She tried to call him but was immediately met with voicemail.
"I'm gonna call Fin," Liv mumbled as she moved to the sitting area by the front door.
Rafael watched her sit in one of the chairs facing the kitchen and rubbed at his face as he tried to turn his focus to only the macaroni. He tried not to eavesdrop but couldn't help it.
"Hey, Fin," Liv said as he answered.
"What's up, Liv?"
"You heard from El?"
"No," Fin sounded concerned, "why?"
"Eli texted me and said he hasn't heard from him in a few days."
"Did he go undercover?"
"He didn't say anything about that to anyone if he did."
"I'll look into it."
"Thanks, Fin."
"You got it."
Liv sat there for a moment, looking over the half-wall that separated where she was sitting from the kitchen. She watched as Rafael tried to make it look like he hadn't been paying attention to her side of the conversation. She rubbed at her face. Yes, she was upset with Elliot for his actions and behavior but he was also one of her oldest friends. One… She paused and then pulled her phone back up.
"Hello?" The man on the other end answered.
"Hi," she said softly, "have you heard from Elliot?"
"Yeah, yeah. He's here."
She heaved a sigh of relief, "thank goodness."
"He got here a few hours ago, he's asleep on the couch. Seems he doesn't remember much of the last few days and smells like a liquor store."
"That's not great," Liv stood and started to pace as she spoke.
"Listen, Olivia," Cragen said softly, "I don't know what happened between you two, but I told him to call you and he said your new boyfriend wouldn't like that."
"Tell him that I said he can call me. There won't be any trouble, he's my friend."
"I'll tell him."
"And tell him that Eli is worried about him, please?"
"I will."
"Thank you."
"Can you do coffee? Your office, Wednesday morning?"
"How's nine sound?"
"That would be great, Liv. I'm gonna go wake sleeping beauty and get him to pull himself together. I'll see you Wednesday, alright?"
"Thank you, Don."
"Of course."
She collapsed back into the chair she'd been in after texting Eli back, put her phone in her lap, and put her face in her hands.
Rafael had finished making the mac and cheese and stuck it in the oven before coming over to her. He kneeled down in front of her and waited patiently.
"He's okay."
"That's good."
"He's apparently been drinking."
"That's less good."
She lowered her hands.
Rafa reached and took her hands in his, "you don't have to try to hide that you're upset about this, Liv."
"I don't want to hurt you by being upset about Stabler."
Rafa smiled slightly, reassuringly, "no, my love, you won't. I understand that that bond runs deep and I understand that he is one of your oldest friends and your first partner as detective. I respect that part. You're allowed to be hurt and worried over your friend."
Liv's brown eyes searched across his face, taking in each feature.
"I want you to understand, Liv. I'm not here to ruin your friendship with Stabler, I don't want to do that. I know he's important to you. I love you and while I disagree with many, many of his decisions and I am upset with the ways he has hurt you over the years, I do not intend to ruin that bond or stand between that bond."
"He's my friend," she nodded, sounding a bit detached.
"He's your friend," Rafa confirmed, "and I'm your partner and you're allowed to have us both in your life. I do not trust him, but I trust you. I would never dream of trying to keep you away from him, I know how important he is."
Liv nodded.
"Are you okay?" He inquired softly.
"No," she mumbled, "no. Getting that text… all I could think about is all of the bad things that could've happened and that…"
"That he may have died thinking you hate him."
She nodded, "just like Simon."
"Hey, no, no. I don't think Simon died thinking that you hate him, my love," Rafa stood and wrapped his arms around her, holding her against his chest.
She tried to silence a sob as she curled into him, not wanting to alert or upset the children.
"It's all okay," he whispered as he rubbed her back gently, "Stabler is okay. You're okay. We're okay."
She nodded, letting his scent fill her nose and calm her. She did some of her deep breathing and calmed down. She was aware of how on edge she'd been for nearly a week now, how she'd been so anxious with all of the changes that had been occurring.
"I love you," Rafa mumbled as he kissed her head.
"I love you, Raf," she breathed back.
They had their macaroni and cheese for dinner, the kids chatting excitedly about what they wanted to do for the house warming party and Noah cheered when Liv announced that Lucy would be coming in the morning. He couldn't wait to introduce Aspen to Lucy.
Rafa kept checking on Liv all night, small looks and little smiles.
Liv read Noah a bedtime story and spent a little time checking in on him, seeing how he felt about all the big changes. He admitted he was nervous about the twins and if they wouldn't like him but after talking with Liv, he was less worried.
Rafa did the same with Aspen, read her a story and checked in. She had similar concerns but also seemed to worry that once there were other boys around, Noah would forget all about her. Rafael assured her that that wouldn't happen and she went to sleep, excited to meet Lucy.
Rafa made it to their bedroom first and had changed into his pajamas, he was in his office with two glasses of wine from a bottle he'd hidden in the bottom drawer of his desk.
Liv came in and shuffled toward the closet to change and then into the bathroom where she washed her face before she joined him.
They exchanged information on what they'd found out of where each child stood at the moment before settling into a peaceful silence.
"So, do you think we'll come home with two more children tomorrow?" Rafael asked her after a bit.
"I hope so," she admitted, "I'd like to be able to have all three of them be entirely in our custody soon."
He nodded, "you're worried they'll change their mind on letting us keep them?"
"I don't think they'll change their minds, but I am worried."
He sipped from his glass of wine.
"I understand."
Her phone started ringing out on the couch where she'd dropped it on her way into the room.
Setting her wine glass down, she moved to go answer it.
"Benson."
"Liv," it was Elliot.
"El."
"I just wanted to apologize for Eli worrying you."
She let out a heavy sigh and moved back to sit across from Rafa, "you don't have to apologize for that."
"No, I do. My mistakes shouldn't take away from your family time-"
"Elliot Stabler."
He silenced.
Rafa's eyes had gone a bit wide at her tone as he looked at her over the wine glass he was sipping from.
"I'm not upset with him and I'm not upset with you. I was worried about you."
"Yeah, Cragen said you called."
She pinched the bridge of her nose, "can you stop being so stubborn for five minutes?"
"Well, what do you want from me?"
"I want you to understand that we are friends. You don't owe me any apologies, you don't have to apologize for Eli texting me. We are friends and I'm still here if you need me."
"You're still at your new apartment?"
Her heart sank, she hadn't told him she was moving.
"I came to apologize and formally introduce myself to Barba, as your friend, not a cop. You were gone and one of your neighbors said you'd moved."
"You thought I'd just leave?"
Rafa's face softened as he realized what was happening.
"After the last week, I didn't know what to think."
"El, there are very few things you could do that would make me disappear."
He stayed quiet.
"We are friends and if you want to meet Rafa as my friend, not a cop and not drunk, I can arrange that."
The lawyer pursed his lips slightly and gave a small shrug and nod.
"I think I should."
"Well, El, there is no should or shouldn't here. It's up to if you want to. You don't have to do anything you don't want to."
A slight chuckle came through the phone, "I think I would like to meet him."
"Okay, El. Is this a meeting you'd like me to be at, too?"
"Yes, please. A buffer for any awkward and you are the mutual connection."
"Okay. Um, we have stuff going on tomorrow," she squinted at Rafa, "one second, El."
Rafa took that as permission to speak, "meeting tomorrow morning. I think we're free tomorrow afternoon unless the meeting goes the way we want? I'll have to check. You have coffee Wednesday morning and I'm in court Wednesday afternoon. I'll be back in court Thursday morning and probably the afternoon, but I don't think either of us have anything that evening. We do have a dinner Friday night, though."
"Busy," Elliot commented.
"We are," Liv sighed and rubbed at her head, "there's a lot going on."
"I understand. Do you want to do Thursday?"
"We can aim for Thursday," Liv nodded.
"I'm good for Thursday, let me grab my phone," Rafael said, digging through files on his desk, "six?"
"Yeah, that would work," Elliot agreed.
Liv found some peace in hearing both men agree with one another, even if it was just as simple as setting up a meeting.
"Drinks or dinner?" Rafa inquired.
"We'll leave that up to you, Liv," Elliot sounded like he was walking.
"Why don't we start with drinks?" She offered.
Rafa nodded and typed on his phone.
"Okay. Drinks, Thursday. Where?"
"For- no. Nevermind. They closed."
"Don't talk about it," Rafa mumbled, "I mourn the loss everyday. We could try that new place near the precinct?"
"Does this guy drink expensive?" Elliot inquired.
"This guy…" Liv laughed slightly, "has a refined taste."
Elliot laughed, "got it. Yeah, the new place by the precinct would be fine."
"I can drink a beer," Rafael countered.
"Rafa," Liv sighed, "we both know you don't want to."
"Just because I don't want to doesn't mean I can't or won't," he shook his head and wrinkled his nose at her.
"The new place by the precinct is fine, Raf."
"Okay," he settled down, sipping his wine.
"I look forward to it," Elliot said.
Olivia couldn't find anything to distrust in his tone, "me too."
"I will see you both on Thursday, then."
"We will see you then," Liv's tone carried the smile that was on her face.
"We will," Rafa nodded, meeting Liv's eyes.
"Alright. Talk soon," Elliot finalized.
"Talk soon," Liv agreed.
And then he was gone.
"White flag?" Rafa inquired.
Liv nodded, "I think so."
"That seems good?"
"I think so," she was worried, though.
Olivia knew that Elliot had realized that she wasn't going to change her mind on this. She also wondered if he'd decided that just having her in his life was enough for him but she supposed she'd find out eventually.
"Sleep?" Rafa asked polishing off the glass of wine.
She finished hers and nodded, "I need it."
"Let's go," he smiled warmly at her.
AN;
check out my twitter for the sims 4 rendition of the new apartment!!
@silverdracolich