On Scalchop Island, there was a kind of competition or tournament about to be held.

"It's for Oshawott and Dewott only," Cilan said, reading the guide book. "Ah, I see, so Samurott aren't allowed because they don't have scalchop – they only have seamitars."

He frowned. "Scalchop… is that the same word when there's one of them and several of them? I don't actually think I know."

Ibid turned into a Dewott. "Scalchops is the plural."

"Thank you," Cilan said. "So it sounds like it's up to Dewott if he wants to enter, but I doubt he can use his Eviolite."

"I think it wouldn't be sporting," Dewott decided. "But I do like the idea of testing my blade against other Dewott, and seeing how I measure up to these Oshawott."

"That sounds like a lot of fun, then," Ash said. "Let's go ahead and register, then!"

"It's not until tomorrow, so there's time for Dewott to do some training," Cilan informed them.

"Which sounds like a good chance for everyone to do training," Iris added.

"Attack high, Excadrill!" Iris called.

Excadrill's claws swiped out, and Dewott blocked with one Scalchop blade before sweeping in with the other. The Ground-type jumped nimbly over the counterstroke, twisting and spinning in a distinctly Drill Run-ish way, and Dewott skipped back a step to re-open the distance.

"Good," Zacian stated. "You know the reach of your opponent, it's the same as yours."

"Well, about that," Dewott said. "I was working on something with Leavanny's help, and I think I might have more reach, but I wanted to make sure my fundamentals were good first!"

"You decide this time, Excadrill!" Iris called, and her Steel-type nodded briskly. "Two claws!"

That told Excadrill he was simulating a Dewott, not an Oshawott, and both sets of digging claws went shwing as he readied them before launching into a blistering attack.

"We have a question," said the Drampa next to Iris. "Why is it that Dewott kept saying that he wanted to strengthen his heart, before the battle?"

"Oh, uh -" Iris began, then interrupted herself. "Jump!"

Excadrill jumped, and narrowly avoided a low sweep by Dewott.

"-anyway, it's because Dewott's shell blades are sort of like Metronomes," Iris explained. "I'm not really sure why myself, I think Zacian might know better, but what it means is that each one is associated with a move. And he kept going until he got Thunder Fang and Poison Jab, because that way he can score hits on Excadrill without it meaning an earlier end to the session."

"We understand now," Drampa said. "That is an interesting trait for a Pokémon move to have."

"It is, isn't it," Iris agreed, as Drampa slowly rose into the air. "Oh, Axew, it looks like you've got Strength right!"

"Drampa is heavy," Axew said, indistinctly. Then there was a sort of crunch sound, and Drampa dropped back to the ground again.

The gestalt Pokémon looked concerned, then took off with a flutter of wings, revealing that Axew had ended up driven into the ground like a drawing pin.

"I'm okay!" Axew said, brightly. "I've defeated the ground! We had a pushing contest and it lost!"

Out on the training area, Dewott went sliding back.

"Okay, time to try out the new trick!" he said, holding up one Scalchop. "Wrap!"

A sort of bandage-like woven cloth shot out from his wrist and wrapped around the hilt of the scalchop, and Dewott shrugged his shoulder to check how loose it was before taking a new stance.

"Ready for this, Excadrill?" he asked, then threw the blade. It hit Excadrill in the side, and Dewott tugged it back with one paw on the Wrap cloth. It whirled around behind him, building up momentum, and Dewott swiped out three more times in quick succession.

The first time, he missed, and only the cloth snagged Excadrill. The Steel-type tried to cut it, but was just a hair too slow, and Dewott's second strike landed with a clang.

The third strike missed completely, wrapped around Dewott twice, and his scalchop clonked him on the back of the head in a burst of electricity.

"...I may need more work on this one," he admitted. "Ouch."

"Still, it is impressive," Zacian told him. "Of course, now we're going to alternate regular training with trying to get that right."

The following evening, Ash patted Dewott on the back.

"I'm sorry about that," he said. "I think you did a really good job, and that was really bad luck at the end."

"Huh?" Dewott asked. "Bad luck? When?"

"The bit where both your scalchops broke in half at the end of the battle," Ash clarified. "You really looked like you were going to win!"

"I was," Dewott replied. "I did win. I beat Caesar and all the other Oshawott and Dewott, despite a massive handicap."

He rummaged in his fur, and brought out both his scalchops.

"Uh…" Iris began. "Now I'm confused. Was some of what we saw an illusion?"

She looked around. "Zacian, was that you?"

"It was not," the Fairy-type replied. "I'm as confused as you, Iris. What happened, Dewott?"

"I read the rules," Dewott said. "If I'd been crowned the Scalchop King, I'd be stuck here for a year with Osharina. And between you and me, I think she's a bit like a beach."

Cilan frowned. "I don't think I understand that metaphor."

"Of course you don't, it didn't involve food," Pansage said.

"She's shallow, that's what," Dewott explained. "I wasn't going to pass up a 'wott tournament, but the rules also said that a broken scalchop was disqualifying, so I brought on two fakes. They were actually from the concession stands."

Taking one of the bits of broken scalchop he'd carried out of the tournament, he ate it.

"Marzipan," he concluded. "Want one?"

Most of the way to the next island, Ash frowned suddenly.

"So, uh… we're not in Unova any more, right?" he checked. "Decolore is different?"

"That's right," Cilan confirmed. "You sound worried, Ash."

"Oh, I was wondering about one of the rules N mentioned once," Ash explained. "I was wondering if I'd broken a rule or something by taking part in a Pokémon competition, back on Scalchop Island."

"You did not," Arc told him. "I am not sure that rule is actually reasonable anyway. But you can rest easy about that, Ash."

"That's good, then," Ash decided. "At first I thought N would have spoken up, but he's not around any more…"

"Excuse me?" a woman asked. "You're Ash Ketchum, right?"

"That's me!" Ash agreed, turning to see someone in a trenchcoat. "What's your name?"

"Joy," the woman replied, pulling back her hood to reveal she had the traditional Nurse Joy hairdo. "I'm investigating a problem on a nearby island, and I was hoping you could help."

She pulled a booklet out of her pocket. "Apparently you're a part time… G man? I'm not sure what it stands for."

"Oh, yeah, I did help Lance out with something like that in Hoenn," Ash agreed. "I don't know what it stands for either. What kind of thing do you mean?"

"There's an island near here, and there's been reports of a Pokémon Centre operating there," Joy told them. "The problem is, it's not operating with a permit, and that's a problem."

"Why's that?" Emolga asked. "Is it some kind of thing where only Nurse Joys are allowed to heal Pokémon?"

"Actually, it's… almost the opposite," Joy replied. "Or, sort of the opposite… anyway, it's that Pokémon Centres are regulated, so that everyone knows what they're getting into when they get medical help at a Pokémon Centre. And if someone's set up a Pokémon Centre without permission, then they could be doing it under dangerous conditions – which is why they wouldn't get permission. And we don't want people to get into danger because they think it's a safe Pokémon Centre and it isn't."

"And you'd need to make sure that it's not some kind of criminal thing, too, right?" Cilan asked. "I can see some ways a criminal gang could use a fake Pokémon Centre to trick people! You'd want to make very sure that they weren't doing that."

"Exactly," Joy said. "So I'm going to investigate, but if it is some kind of criminal gang's plan… I'd feel a lot safer with backup."

"Interesting," Arc said, as they crossed a shallow bay courtesy of a sketched-out bridge from Tepig. "We are going in the right direction, correct?"

"Well, yes," the Joy agreed. "Why? And who said that this time? I'm sorry, but I can't keep track of all the Pokémon."

"That's Arc," Ash explained, holding up the phone in question.

"I merely wish to observe that this island is a nature preserve," Arc clarified. "Were you aware of this?"

"I was," Joy agreed. "In fact, I used to work here – there was a Pokémon Centre on this island before, but it closed down because it wasn't being used by trainers."

She shrugged. "It's because the island was set up as a nature preserve, I think… there were terrible problems with hunters and poachers, which is why it was made a sanctuary, but fortunately that seems to have largely dried up."

"Hmm," Cilan said. "So that's why the bridge we saw before was torn down?"

"Exactly," Joy confirmed, as they stepped onto the island. "Thank you, whichever Pokémon made the bridge."

"You're welcome!" Tepig- replied brightly, then suddenly everything got foggy.

"Zapdos!" Ash called, sending his Electric-Flying type out. "Can you do something about this fog?"

Zapdos used Weather Ball.

"What do you think?" she asked, holding up a kind of combination cloud sculpture and balloon animal made out of all the nearby fog. "How does it look?"

"It's quite a good Mareep," Pikachu told her.

Zapdos frowned. "Then it's probably a terrible Blastoise. I'll need to work on that."

"Hmm," Joy mused, frowning. "I wonder… if there's an illegal Pokémon Centre, maybe it's operating out of the original centre? It was never demolished, so that would be a good place to start… this way."

Joy led them to the old Pokémon Centre fairly quickly, which was made of wood without any of the more modern panelling. It was quite run down, as well, with holes in some of the planks and moss growing on the walls, and Iris looked around as they entered.

"Huh," she said. "I'll be honest, I expected this Pokémon Centre to be a bit more… good looking? And less hidden?"

"Good day," an Audino said, stepping out from the back room. "Can I help you?"

"Oh, I get it!" Ash realized. "You're a Zorua or Zoroark, right?"

The Audino did a double-take. "What? How did you-"

Then she stopped, and groaned. "I mean – that is – oh, what's the point? You saw through me so easily…"

There was a shimmer, and the Audino illusion dissolved.

"How did you tell?" asked the revealed Zoroark.

"It's about the sound of your accent!" Ash said. "It's kind of hard for most people to tell, even most Pokémon I guess, but there's a difference in how you stress the sounds that are part of your natural speech versus the ones you have to learn to sound like an Audino. I've got a Zorua myself and I've coached him on it, but I guess you haven't met an Audino since you evolved?"

"I feel decidedly inadequate," Zoroark admitted.

"Hey, don't feel like that!" Iris said. "I bet you're better at the voice thing than I am. Actually, do you think you could give me some tips?"

"Be that as it may, fraudulently running a Pokémon Centre is-" Joy began, and Zoroark held up a paw.

"Wait, hold on," she said. "Have humans learned to understand Pokémon in the last decade or so? I've only switched from Audino to Zoroark"

"I think I did," Ash replied, counting. "Yeah, it's been less time than that since I learned to listen properly to Pokémon. Iris is working on it because it helps her Zoroark disguises, but mostly she relies on help from Emolga, who's translating for the rest of the humans here, and Cilan only speaks Dwebble and Crustle because he's learned it out of a phrase book."

Zoroark made some paper appear out of thin air in a flash of multicoloured illusion sidescatter, and notes appeared on them as she frowned.

"...no, I've got no idea what to say to that," she confessed. "How can a human have Zoroark disguises to work on?"

"Magic," Pikachu told her. "No, really, that is actually the answer to your question. A potion, specifically, but if I go into more detail than that we get to bits I don't understand myself on a theoretical level. I'm more of an electromagnetodynamicist myself."

He turned to Ash. "Actually, do you think Thunder That Breaks The Earth counts as original research? Could I get a scientific paper out of it, if Professor Oak hasn't done it first?"

"I have a question," Cilan said. "Zoroark, why are you pretending to be an Audino and running the Pokémon Centre?"

"It's because the Pokémon here need help sometimes," Zoroark said. "And, when I was young – a Zorua – I was taken here to heal after I got injured. The Pokémon here need protection, and I can give that, and they need healing, and I can do my best with the berries around here."

"I don't think I ever thought of that," Joy admitted. "We do heal the Pokémon who live around an area, but when I was told to shut the centre down it was because humans weren't using it – but Pokémon still do, and-"

"You shut down-" Zoroark said. "Wait, you were a Nurse Joy who worked here? Are you the one who saved me?"

"You're that little Zorua I saved?" Joy gasped. "I didn't realize!"

A leaflet fluttered down from the ceiling, and Ash caught it.

"Let's see, uh…" he said, turning it over, then found the front. "Are you a Zoroark who wants to learn how to heal Pokémon? Tired of having to use berries to get good results? Call Mew now to get taught all the healing moves Mew can think of and probably one Mew forgot to think of."

"Mew?" Zoroark repeated. "What do you-"

Mew dropped down off the ceiling, cancelling the Camouflage move that had made them the same colour as the wood. "I think that counts!" he said. "Hi! Okay, so first off let's do Aromatherapy…"

By the next day, Joy had decided that it was probably okay to just re-open and repair the Pokémon Centre as an official one, and she'd stay around at least long enough for Zoroark to get her medical license and be properly registered.

Iris had also got a few tips on how to use her illusions, which was nice.

AN:

The good thing about battling with marzipan weapons is that you get to eat them afterwards.