Chapter 5

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"Whoa," Deadpool yelled, first he grabbed Harry and they jumped, then he looked to make sure the kid wasn't hurt. It seemed on he took the round.

"Uhm," Harry said, looking at the door, but backing up in case the man did it again.

"What an asshole. Who does shit like that?" he asked, pushing Harry into the living room, and going to the door. He looked through the hole there, and then opened it. "I can't believe you shot up your own house," he said, reaching forward and taking the rifle off the man, and pointing directly at him. "You don't look like no gangster to me. Too fat, too white, and I mean that in the kindest way, too stupid, by which I mean I'm surprised you know which end to hold," he added, poking Vernon in the belly with the rifle. "Harry, and we really need a new name, I'm going to have to off your uncle," he called into house.

Vernon sat shocked that the bleeding man was still alive. The round went straight into him. He could see from the man's shirt that he had been hit.

"Suddenly, I'm okay with that, and there's nothing wrong with my name," the boy said, from where he was hiding behind the couch. "We'll have to hide in the magical world. They won't find you there," he said insightfully.

"Smart kid," Wade said to no one, then he turned to Vernon. "Hey, you blubbering whale, why did you try to shoot me?" he wondered out loud.

"You stole all my money," the very frightened man said, pointing a finger at Deadpool.

"No, I took Harry's money. We had this talk. Are you simple?" Deadpool said, cocking the rifle, and firing, done talking. He only hit him in the side because Vernon tried to run and that was as far as he got. There was a 50/50 chance he'd make it. Then again it looked like fatboy had a heart attack. Still…

"Lord Pomeroy, you can come out now?" Wade said, kicking the downed man's foot. Yup, still twitching.

"You're not calling me that," Harry said with a glare.

"Why not?"

"Never mind. Did you really kill him?" the boy asked, coming up to his side and looking at his uncle. He could see blood leaking from the man, and he was surprisingly not upset.

"He might live," Wade said, turning the kid around. He glared at the people who were gawking from their lawns and windows. "At least it's not the 2000s yet, or they'd be filming it. Go pack your stuff, we've got to get out of here," he said, running up the stairs to get his costume and the few clothes he had purchased.

"I'll just shove it all in my trunk," Harry said as he ran up the stairs too, keeping pace with the man. "I'll send Hedwig off and be ready in two minutes." Since he met the man, his was stronger and faster. He zipped around the room and shoved everything he wanted to keep in the trunk. His wand was put in a strap on his arm. Wade said, that carrying one in the back pocket was stupid on a super level.

"Hedwig, come find us later," he said, opening the window so she could leave at her leisure.

"Come on," Deadpool said as he rushed, picking up the trunk and carrying it under his arm. "Do you know a quick way there, but I don't want to be chased through London?" he asked the child.

"Yeah, come on," Harry said, going to the curb. He held out his wand, just like Hogwarts a History said, and suddenly there was a loud 'Boom.' He jumped back and almost toppled Deadpool. It was a good think that Wade had made him read that book. Something about knowing the lay of the land.

"Watch it, kid," Wade said, tucking his mask in his suit. He didn't want accidents.

"Thank you for calling the Knight Bus, I am Rupert, your conductor for the day," a tall skinny man said, reading off a card.

"Two please," Harry said, scurrying into the bus. It was empty of passengers. "I have to get the money out of my trunk. We're kinda in a hurry," he added waving Wade to put his trunk down. He opened it and then roughly shoved things around until he came up with his money bag.

"Don't worry about it, kid. I got this," Deadpool said, pulling two gold coins out of one of his pouches. "Keep the change. We're going to the Leaky Cauldron," he said, like he took the Knight Bus every day.

Rupert pocketed the change. "Why are you dressed like that?" he asked, waving them to some recliners. They took the seat, after Harry closed his trunk.

"Like what?" Deadpool asked, "This is the way everyone dresses now. It's the latest fashion," he said, puffing his chest out. He dusted invisible dust off his shoulder.

"Are you a muggle?" the conductor asked, leaning forward to get a better look at the man in the red suit.

"Not really," Wade hedged, he was sure he wasn't human anymore.

"Well, alright then," Rupert said, then waved the driver to get going.

Two minutes later, and some very close calls that had even Deadpool clutching his chair in fear, and screaming like a girl, they were there.

They got off the bus and went to the shady pub.

"This place is great," Harry said, going up to Tom the Bartender.

"It's not Sister Margaret's School for Wayward Girls, but it'll do for now," Deadpool said, following Harry with the trunk.

"You went to a pub called Sister Margaret's? What did they serve? Warm milk," Harry asked not sure if the man was teasing him or not.

"No, it was a regular bar, real alcohol," Wade said, nodding to the bartender. "How do you know what bars serve?" he asked the kid as he nodded to all those looking and listening.

"Uncle Vernon would take perspective clients to one. He'd tell Aunt Petunia what they drank. Sometimes it was what the called foo-foo drinks," Harry said, watching the crowd to see if they were going to mob him.

They didn't.

"Name's Tom," the bartender said, wiping a glass, it looked like it was more for something to keep his hands busy, since there were magical rags cleaning the other glasses.

"Deadpool," Wade said, putting the trunk on the floor. "We are looking for accommodations."

"I need to ask, what are you doing with young Harry," the man said in a lower voice. He didn't want a mob either.

"We need a place to stay for the summer," Deadpool reiterated, this time a bit of menace in his voice.

"He's cool, Tom. He's like a doctor for me. I had a bit of an accident and he's staying with me to make sure I'm all cured," Harry said quickly, trying to think of anything that would pass muster.

"Yeah, like a doctor," Wade said, his voice far more cheerful.

"You don't look like no healer I've ever seen," Tom said, but he was looking at Harry as if to see if the boy spoke the truth.

Harry had on his most innocent expression. "He is really helping me," he said with a smile.

"Look, Tom, was it? we need get rooms for the summer. I get that Harry is some kind of hero to you guys, but if I'm not with him, then things will happen," Deadpool stated, taking a knife out of… somewhere and picking at where his nails would be if he weren't in his suit.

"Alright," the barman said, getting a key to a double room. "Room number ten. It's at the top of the stairs, and the only one with two beds," he said, handing the key to Harry. "You watch yourself, you hear?" he said to the boy.

Harry nodded and quickly started up the stairs. When he got there Hedwig rapped on the window. She must move faster if she knows were to go. Or she was off hunting last night. Either way he was glad she was here. He opened the window and watched her sail in and land on the headboard.

"We're going to have to get you a stand," Harry said, petting her chest, which she seemed to like. "We're going to need to get you some robes," he said to his companion. "Not the baby blue ones you had, something with a hood, so you don't have to wear your suit."

"Hey, I liked the baby blue ones, that's why I stole them," Deadpool stated, putting his hands on his hips as if he had just been insulted and was protesting.

"No, you said it was the author," Harry pointed out.

"Oh, right, it was, okay we'll get some red ones with a hood like you said," the pleased man said, thinking of all the things he could do with robes, which wasn't much but… okay robes were going to suck.

"And no stealing," Harry tried, knowing he was likely to fail.

"No promises," the masked man said, shucking his suit for jeans and hoodie. "Come on, get your books out. I want to hear more about the goblin wars," he said like and eager child.

"You can read about them yourself," Harry protested as he got out his history book.

"I never had anyone willing to read to me before, so don't be and ass," Wade said, settling down in a cross-legged position on the floor. "That and they are very cool. I wonder if I can join them. What do you think? Am I ugly enough?" he questioned the boy.

"I'm not touching that," Harry said, settling in the only chair in the room and opening to where he had left off. he started to read out loud, and Deadpool acted like any other child listening to an adult.

They stayed that way until the end of the chapter. Harry then said, "I need to go the bank." He picked up his money bag and key, that Deadpool had lifted off Hagrid, and went to the door.

"Wait," Deadpool said, getting up from the floor, "I want to come with." He pulled up his hood and shucked on some shoes. "We should get that robe for me, sooner rather than later," he added, not sure if he liked the feeling of blending in when he was so used to standing out. "On second thought, let them talk," he said with decisiveness.

"Okay, but I need to get a stand for Hedwig and I want to get some more books. Can I trust you not to rob Gringotts?" he asked, already knowing the answer, but he had to try.

"No promises, but you have my word you won't be there if I do," he said, crossing his heart in a childish gesture.

"I guess that will have to do," Harry sighed, sounding much older than his eleven-year-old self. The serum was making him more mature. Though, hanging around Deadpool made that work faster, since he had to be the grown up here.

The two left the pub, and Harry opened the portal to Diagonally. "Welcome to Diagonally," he said to his companion.

Deadpool, of course had already been there, but it had been from the rooftops. He was closer to the action now and could hear the barkers, and complainers quite well. The problem was he had no idea what any of them were talking about. "What the hell is newt spit? And why is it five sickles? Wasn't a sickle something you used to cut crops?" he asked Harry, who just shrugged.