Sealkeeper: He Who Binds

Chapter 158-A "Son of Stone"

Release 2022.05.31

"...Is that all?" Akishi's tongue was dripping with sarcasm rather than venom and for a brief moment the new Orochimaru wondered if she actually was- or, rather, ever had been- venomous at all. She had a feeling the Ak'Gyun wouldn't appreciate such a question.

"Well, I'm sure I could think of a few more things to add if you don't feel the price is quite high enough for this invaluable service I'm providing for you." Orohimaru offered, her grin splitting her face. It was good to be the one holding all the cards. "You know, the service which appears to be the only way you can fulfill the task Naruto-Kun gave you."

Akishi grit her teeth- more evidence to her not being venomous, considering any fangs wouldn't really support that. Then again, snakes didn't normally have teeth anyway and fangs typically folded along the roof of the mouth. Maybe she had more conscious control over hers?- and squeezed her fists, probably biting back the sort of remark that would only have Orochimaru increasing the price anyway.

"Do you even understand what you're actually asking for? Do you really think there won't be consequences for that, consequences I'll be paying? You ask for more than you know."

"And you're asking not just for a handful of perfectly created living bodies- yes, life itself- but research into transferring the souls of summoned minor Kami into those bodies and ensuring both continued life and that they can actually use them." Was Orochimaru's counter. "Your siblings are snakes. You might have been quick to adapt to your new half-form because you were changed directly by your father but your siblings aren't going to have that benefit. I can't even begin to imagine the nightmare that's going to be ensuring they can properly walk. Even you didn't have to deal with that."

That was true and a very good point. Akishi found herself frowning. Their bartering aside, how long would it take for her siblings to be able to properly utilize new bodies? They didn't have to just use them, either, they needed to be adept enough to copy the body language and mannerisms of a royal family. Faking a group of humans on the bottom edges of the social ladder would be easy enough- people would just assume they're drunk or disabled in some way- but royals? They had a lifetime of refining themselves for movement and speech and years of discipline for controlling their bodies to ensure they always projected the proper image.

If the snakes had to learn all of this, how long would it take for them to be ready to serve their purpose? Too long, Akishi suddenly feared, far too long for Naruto to be pleased with her results.

Hell, in that time he might actually end up taking over the entire rest of the world and then what would he need her for? If he didn't need her, there was no point in proving herself and then there was nothing to convince him to accept his rightful position as Au's high-priest.

That would mean she'd failed, and that simply wasn't an option for the child of Au. Failure meant more than losing her life, it would mean being stuck here in the human world for the rest of eternity. The fact that she had been blessed with the form of an Ak'Gyun would actually help a lot in enduring such a fate but it still wasn't a pleasant thought.

Dealing with humans for the rest of time, banished from the light of Au and her home on Mount Aogi? A more human form could only remedy that so much and part of her wondered if she might actually be better off in her original form should it come to pass.

Maybe that was one of the reasons Father had changed her. It wasn't hard for her to believe that.

Still, that only mattered if she failed and Great Elder Akishi had no intentions of failing.

Which, of course, meant haggling with Orochimaru for the Sage's services.

Damnit.

"You make it sound as if that would be difficult for you to do, Orochimaru." The snake switched up her tactics. While she had been reduced to the backfoot for a lot of her dealings ever since being sent down by Great Au himself- mostly accounting to the fact that she needed to earn Naruto's favor and taking any sort of action against him or any of his would immediately make that quite impossible- but she was still Akishi the Manipulator, fifthborn of Au. "I would expect more from the legendary Snake Sage."

Green eyes narrowed at her, accusing and defiant. Orochimaru knew what she was trying for immediately. That did not, however, stop her from being affected by it or, in this case, amused.

"And the legendary Snake Sage-" The way she said it she was almost mocking her own title. "-is not one who can be so easily bought. My services are at a premium and I have plenty of other projects to get done for Naruto as it is. Doing your work would delay that and…inconvenience…him."

No, it really wouldn't. She wasn't actually doing anything all that important for him at the moment but it was always a good bargaining chip to have available. After all, Naruto came to her to make use of her knowledge and skill. Akishi was still trying to prove to him that the snakes could be trusted doing what he needed.

Of course, the inverse was also true and Akishi deployed it immediately.

"Naruto has had his eyes on this country for quite some time-" It was an educated guess but she was right and Orochimaru was well aware. "- and I'm sure he'd rather have it delivered into his hands sooner rather than later. I wonder how much he values those projects of yours over Yu no Kuni?"

Considering Yu no Kuni was supposed to become a safe haven for the Wolves? They weren't even comparable. Damnit.

"You were to do this alone."

"I was to use every available resource bar the name of Tsukuyomi." Was Akishi's counter. "That includes dealing with others such as yourself. You may not be required to help me but I doubt he will look kindly upon you knowing you delayed his will."

Orochimaru actually winced, but she was far from done and slipped the ace up her sleeve down to her waiting hand.

"I'm not delaying it, I'm ready to have it stated right now." Well, the other her-him- anyway. She was going to go visit her prince. "You're the one delaying it because you aren't willing to pay the price for what you need. How will Naruto take that, hmm? The snakes unable to make such lowly sacrifices to see his will done?"

"What you request goes far beyond snakes," Akishi accused. "Your desires tread and trespass upon the holy dominion of Au!"

Orochiamru shrugged. "It's not as if anyone is currently making use of them."

"They are not to be used."

"By you." Orochimaru was grinning again. "He forbade his children from disturbing them but I'm not one of them."

"Do you honestly think that makes it better? You're not even of his line, why would he suffer you to even see them?"

"Because I have the ear of his High-Priest, he doesn't." If anyone had ever told Akishi that someone would claim, even for a moment, that they were currently superior to Au in some way she'd never have believed them. Unfortunately in this case they were actually very much correct. Being able to communicate with his chosen High-Priest was something Au wanted more than anything else at the moment and Orochimaru could not only do that as she pleased but Naruto was also likely to listen to any suggestions or requests she made.

That put her in a much better position- relative to Naruto, of course- than Au could hope to be in.

But was that worth what she was asking for?

Could Akishi even promise such things to the snake?

'Deceive, cheat, promise, betray. Do what you must to gain control of Yu no Kuni or never show yourselves to me again.'

Those had been the words of Naruto, the command of the High-Priest her father had sent her down to serve. Would it displease him were she to turn that against someone she knew without a doubt was his? Would he be angry or would he smile, bemused, when Orochimaru admitted to being outdone by another serpent?

Perhaps if she just worded her promise correctly, she really wouldn't have to worry about fulfilling it. What Orochimaru sought was in Augoku, upon blessed Mount Aogi, a place she could no longer reach. She was tied to the human realm now and was fated to be tied specifically to the High-Priest once she had proven herself.

Unless his duties- of which Akishi knew surprisingly little, on reflection- took him to Augoku and he in turn took her along, she would never even see those things ever again for at least as long as Naruto continued to live.

After that, she would either be tied to a new High-Priest or- and she desperately hoped this was the case- she would be allowed to return home. And if she was home, how would Orochimaru ever demand it of her ever again? Ignoring the fact that they should be dead by then anyway, even if they weren't Naruto would be- otherwise she wouldn't be released from her duty as his personal summon- which meant she didn't have to worry about acting against those who belonged to him anymore.

There was nothing that would hold her to that promise, even if she was stuck to this world.

And, in that case, she still couldn't get it anyway.

Perfect.

"...So you do," Akishi conceded slowly. Drawing out her words as she finished with her own thoughts. Orochimaru might even think she'd won this little battle, which might further blind her from the truth. "Very well, if you do this then I, Akishi, fifthborn of Au will personally retrieve and deliver what you have requested into your hands."

The 'retrieve' was the important part here, the key that held this plan together, because there was no way Akishi would ever go against Au so blatantly as to steal anything from his dominion and especially not to bestow it upon a woman she really didn't care for.

Green eyes narrowed, thinking, but Orochimaru didn't know everything Akishi did about the Ak'Gyun's situation.

"You give your binding word as a lesser Kami?"

Her human face couldn't fully express the sheer weight of her displeasure at Orochimaru's chosen words.

"As a Kami, I so give you my oath. As I have spoken, so shall it be done." Which meant, of course, it couldn't be. It was probably a good thing humans hadn't been really exposed to spirits in such a long time. Anyone who regularly dealt with them would be much more suspicious but fortunately Orochimaru only knew that any Kami could bind themselves to their word using their own power and was relying on this to get what she wanted.

Any smart Kami would do their best to weasel out of that. Being beholden to a mortal was a less than thrilling concept. It was also to their benefit that they could only give out such oaths willingly and very few of them were ever willing to truly bind themselves in any way.

Had Akishi understood the wording wrong, or had information that would lead her to believe that she would in fact be presented with the chance to obtain the promised items for Orochimaru, her intention to avoid doing so would have prevented her from making the oath in the first place.

It also probably would have tipped Orochimaru off to what she was trying to do.

She may not like them, but Orochimaru wasn't an idiot. In fact, that comment about being a lesser Kami was probably done on purpose in hopes to prompt Akishi into sealing the oath immediately rather than give her the opportunity to change anything. The Snake Sage had her grudging respect if that truly was the intention. Understandably, Akishi had no plans to ever find out so that grudging respect would have to go unacknowledged for all time.

Orochimaru, noting the way Akishi's red eyes glowed and the nimbus of golden light that emanated from her scales at the binding of her oath, nodded once in satisfaction. There had been a weight to those words, a thrum of power that didn't truly belong in this world. Everything checked out according to what sources she had been able to obtain.

Mournfully few, really. So too little had survived the centuries since spirits had walked the world openly.

But apparently enough, if it had allowed her to extract such a promise from the Ak'Gyun.

"Well, then," Orochimaru continued to grin. "I suppose we have an accord."

The town of Kaishi was not large, though it wasn't quite small. Located in the middle of Hi no Kuni's fertile fields, it served as a central hub for the farmers who had the privilege of working what little farmland Hi no Kuni possessed.

Unsurprisingly, these fields were located in the north-western corner of Hi no Kuni, where it shared borders with Kusa no Kuni and to a lesser degree Kawa no Kuni. A significant strip had also been cleared and set aside for agriculture along the northern border near Ta no Kuni.

It should also come at no surprise that when a force of Iwa Shinobi headed east came across the central spoke of Hi no Kuni's agriculture that it became a very large target. Akatsuchi wasn't an idiot and while such an important place was bound to be more guarded than some other nameless town and was guaranteed to call attention to them it was also his priority to ensure Hi no Kuni- and specifically Konoha- was on the backfoot for the duration of this conflict.

With that in mind, he couldn't have picked a more appropriate target for the first real battle of what would probably be later known as the Daiyoji Ninkai Taisen. Personally Akatsuchi was hoping the conflict would come to a victorious close before it escalated to that point but he certainly wasn't holding his breath. Kumo, at least, was bound to take this opportunity and it was possible Kiri would as well.

Hell, if they managed to recover then Suna was sure to want to get their hands on any land and resources they could, too. The idea was to get Suna as an ally, if anything, but considering what Suna attempted with their last allies, maybe it would be for the better if distances were kept.

There was no time to properly burn and salt the fields here - not if they wanted to make significant progress- but they were Iwa shinobi. Compressing the earth until it was practically rock wasn't difficult and had the benefit of allowing them to undo most of the damage when Hi no Kuni was cut into pieces and given away.

No point permanently ruining their future land, they just wanted to make sure Hi no Kuni couldn't utilize it for the moment. Then again, even if Hi no Kuni forces were to arrive now it would just turn the area into a battlefield and no one would be able to make use of it until someone had won.

Considering it wasn't Tsuchi no Kuni's agriculture being stymied, Akatsuchi had a good feeling that they could manage to outlast Konoha and the rest of Hi no Kuni if it came down to a battle of attrition

Akatsuchi's Kunai found its way up between the plates of an inexperienced Samurai and he allowed their body to fall with a heavy crash. Kaishi may have been just important enough for extra guards but the post itself was considered rather cushy which meant for the most part that his forces would only be running into new Samurai on their first assignments and those nearing the age of retirement looking for an easy way to get through their last few years of service.

Well, there would be a few who took their work and training seriously but when they were this outnumbered and caught unaware they would hardly put up any noticeable struggle; the town was already theirs as soon as they had arrived.

Akatsuchi turned his attention from his latest kill to take stock of his surroundings. While smaller teams were clearing out the fields themselves- led only by those Akatsuchi trusted the most- he had taken the less trustworthy to the town itself to take out the guard and secure the civilians. The teams wouldn't have an issue with farmers but if word reached Kaishi and they sent out enough Samurai in response it could cause issues.

As for civilians-

"Fakko!" Barked the commander of Iwa's eastern invasion force. "Get your fucking hands off them!" The man in question froze, looking up to meet Akatsuchi's eyes and flinching.

These lands were going to be taken over, the last thing they needed were locals with grudges. Someone was going to have to continue working the land and Tsuchi no Kuni didn't have the population to fill two major countries by itself. Besides, people were just as much a resource as anyone else. Best not to waste them.

Gasuri peered up from a crate he'd been helping himself to the contents of and scowled, striding over to pull the older man and what Akatsuchi assumed was his daughter from beneath Fakko. Pulling them up to their feet he rested a forceful hand on their shoulders and marched them over to a building and shoved them inside.

He may have been a greedy bastard, Akatsuchi mused, but at least he knew where the line was drawn. They were Iwa shinobi, not a band of raiding bandits.

Or Sunagakure Shinobi, he supposed. That was pretty much the same thing, really. Hell, Konohagakure had been Suna's ally and even they had been prepared for the attempted invasion if word was to be believed.

Foolish as they were with their 'will of fire' garbage, they obviously weren't completely oblivious. That only went to show just how overt Suna Shinobi were with their bandit-like behavior. Akatsuchi couldn't really blame them for being that way- Kaze no Kuni was a harsh land and if you didn't take whatever you could get your hands on you would die- but he had no desire to emulate them.

Akatuchi was a Son of Stone and he would stand with the pride of a mountain as he shouldered his burdens-

Even if at the moment a majority of his burdens happened to be the petty pebbles that had made it into his forces.

He took another look around the town, noting with satisfaction that a majority of the buildings had remained untouched. Some of the more trustworthy- that wasn't saying much- pebbles were making their way through the buildings to ensure the only occupants were civilians so they didn't have to worry about any Samurai or random Shinobi being left at their flank while the rest were busy undoing the farmer's work on the fields. Those being left here would have to hope whatever stores they had would last them until the end of this conflict and if they sent any onwards to Konoha or the capital it was all but assured they would have to abandon the land and move away to support themselves.

That should have been incentive enough but considering this was imperial land it all technically belonged to the Daimyo anyway. Akatsuchi was sure the storehouses would be empty within the month and with any luck within a week.

Good. It was hard to wage a war when you were hungry and nothing spurred on civilians against their local Shinobi like empty bellies. Fighting for profit was one thing, to protect your people was another, but to fight for people who currently hated you? That was a completely different matter entirely and would be a massive blow to morale.

And, as everyone knew, a Shinobi who didn't want to fight often wouldn't. Sure, they would oppose Iwa on principle at first and even after that they would hang on with their age-old hate for one another but before long they were sure to decide the struggle wasn't even worth it.

A Shinobi hardly needed a village to survive, but a village absolutely had to have Shinobi or it would quickly find itself being overrun by others. If they could get Konoha out of the fight like that, the only thing they would have to worry about would be-

"Samurai!"

Akatsuchi cursed. Even think of the devil and he shall appear.

"Break into twos," Was his immediate order. "Split them up and pick them off!"

His black eyes briefly flickered to the armored bodies laying in the dirt road. There simply wasn't enough time to remove the bodies and the blood pooling from them. He was tempted to take the bodies anyway, in case that would prompt their fellows to spread out looking for them, but quickly discarded the idea. With that much blood- he had been going more for speed than secrecy, overwhelming them before they had a chance to notice and mount a defense or counterattack- the newcomers would know the original guards would be dead and only a foolish new commander would purposefully split up his men in a hostile area that had already been the death of his fellows.

He could have been lucky- maybe the commander of this new group was fresh and foolish- but the delay wasn't worth the chance and in the end the bodies were left where they lay.

Like his men, Akatsuchi slipped from the road into cover. While Shinobi these days tended to be more flash than subtlety they were still Shinobi and their strength lay in the hidden battle. He was not foolish enough to try for a frontal assault against a company of Samurai because that was their strength. A Shinobi may have been the blade that slipped between armor and ended wars with a single slit throat but Samurai were the armored watchdogs that sniffed them out and tore them to pieces.

Like those dogs, Samurai were bred and trained for the purpose of thwarting Shinobi, that's the whole reason Daimyo kept them in their capital cities. They were a defense against the Shinobi of rival countries and, most importantly, a defense against the Shinobi of their own hidden villages.

Of course, the strength of the Samurai came from working as a group and forcing their opponents into the open where they were vulnerable to their sword techniques and would struggle to get past the swordsmen's armor which meant as long as Akatsuchi's Shinobi could negate that by staying undetected and striking first- and last- they would be no different than any other target.

Well, maybe a little different.

They would be, after all, on guard and that might make separating them a bit more difficult but in the end that really just made it more satisfying.

It wouldn't be until the Samurai had reached the town and began their search that Akatuchi entertained the thought that he, perhaps, should have had his forces slip further past the company and continued east. He could have even left a few Shinobi here to be seen by the Samurai and draw them further west allowing Akatsuchi and the remaining Shinobi to continue sowing chaos and setting Hi no Kuni up for imminent failure.

He would dismiss that thought as soon as he had it. Akatsuchi was a Son of Stone, he would face his opposition head on.

Or, as head on as one could as a Shinobi, anyway.

That is the strangest group of vagrants bumming it at the beach I have ever seen. Orochimaru mused as she slipped from the sparse woods that separated the northern coasts of Yu no Kuni from the rest of the country.

Her own Shinobi had a tendency to look mismatched at the best of times- the Oto team sent to Konoha's Chunin exams and her own personal 'bodyguards' had to be given very specific uniforms for that reason.- so it wasn't surprising that Guren's fantastic dress- Orochimaru still wasn't sure how it didn't clash with the woman's hair, it had to be something about the specific shades because she would have gone with a different blue, purple, even a red or a light cream- stuck out among a group of Oto researchers in their long labcoats.

That alone wasn't too bad, until you realized that the fact that they were labcoats was the only thing that was the same about them. Ignoring the different colors- no two were the same- or the patterns varying between a snake-like camo and assorted flowers the most irritating part was undoubtedly the fact that they were all of different lengths and cuts. Some of them had sleeves, others were sleeveless, and all of them went down from mid thigh to touching the ground.

It was absolutely atrocious. Usually Orochimaru didn't have to see more than a single researcher at a time- she didn't deal with them as a group, just whoever approached her with the actual results. Delegation was the best- so she didn't have to face such a horrendous mess.

That was to say nothing of Ganju and his boys in varying states of undress as they worked or lounged around on breaks. In fact, those who were sitting down for a rest seemed more dressed then those moving things around the small beach camp.

How the hell hadn't they been discovered before now? Surely anyone spotting them couldn't have assumed they were just Yu no Kuni locals enjoying the beach or tourists out camping, right?

The only explanation Orochimaru could come up with was simply that- by some miracle and the grace of Tsukuyomi himself- no one had seen them at all. Ships sailing to Kaminari no Kuni may have noted the lack of boat and not cared what was going on shoreside and it was possible no one else had passed nearby on the land because of the forest Orochimaru had gone through to get here.

They were off the beaten path, if only slightly, and Yu no Kuni was a land that thrived on their well known establishments around the capital. Actually, Yu no Kuni was a rather small country with a low population, a population dwarfed by tourists at any given moment. Maybe it wasn't that strange that no one was near an undeveloped shore away from any of the shared borders.

Orochimaru briefly wondered if they could have just purchased some land out here and built a small beachfront homestead to use as a cover to their hidden base.

Hell, they could have built a lighthouse and had the tower continue underground to the base itself. What the fuck had she been thinking? Erm, what had he been thinking. This mistake obviously belonged to the original alone, not her. She was the improved version who had identified this issue, after all, which was only further proof that she was the superior Orochimaru.

Ubermaru? Uberochi? Uberoro? No, none of those felt quite right, thought that last one sort of rolled off the tongue.

Setting that thought to the side to deal with later- it was a good thing she could push off the name thing to Naruto, she was horrible at it- she returned her attention to the individuals on the beach as she made her approach.

Technically- well, not technically, he was- Ganju was in charge of this project but Orochimaru found herself slightly hesitant to approach the man at the moment. He was easy enough to spot, in fact she would dare say it would be impossible not to see him. Sticking to the boots and pants of the Wolves he had ditched his shirt and covered his torso with a small, open vest-

In bright neon yellow, green, and orange as an eye-watering camouflage high-visibility jacket. She didn't even want to get near the presented oxymorons there, let alone near the item in question.

Where the hell did he even get something like that?

And who in Tsukuyomi's name had allowed him to wear it?

Shuddering slightly she skirted around the edge of the camp, opting to forgo the shows of respect she'd be greeted with by her subordinates in favor of avoiding the fashion nightmare. Besides, she was here to see Naruto anyway. That was better than having some of the idiots under her command groveling at her feet and would be much less of a headache too.

The entrance to what was supposed to be a temporary base- which would probably just become another part of the permanent arrangement- was a modest trapdoor set into a rocky outcropping. At high tide the highest waves still fell nearly a foot short, though the spray kept the rock plenty wet, and the team had moved a few boulders around it to add further cover when anyone was traversing the threshold. Even so, a guard had been posted nearby to ensure Naruto's safety.

Or they were just on a break. Orochimaru almost wanted to believe that second option when she encountered said 'guard' wearing nothing but a straw hat and a Fundoshi as he lounged in a canvas seat with a bottle of sake and fishing pole.

She supposed it could have been a disguise but he seemed to be enjoying himself far too much for her to really believe that.

She also didn't recognize them, so there was a good chance it was one of the Wolves Naruto had brought with him. Orochimaru found herself wondering if the image would have been better had the man kept his mask on.

For some reason the thought of a Wolf walking around in a Fundoshi seemed less strange than a maskless man fishing in one. Did that indicate something was inherently wrong with the Wolves and she had just become desensitized to it or was there just something wrong with her?

No, it couldn't be her. The Wolves were just strange. That had to be it.

Sealkeeper: He Who Binds

Chapter 158-B "Cut Loose"

Release 2022.06.07

For a vacation, Naruto mused, this was actually rather unpleasant. For a self-made workaholic there was scarcely a greater torture to be found than simply not having anything to actually do.

He really should have found himself some sort of hobby back when he first considered it because now that he had time to dedicate to one nothing came to mind for him to even try.

Actually, one thing did come to mind because he still vaguely associated it with paperwork thanks to Sai but Naruto didn't really feel like trying his hand at poetry. That was probably one of the few things he had room to do here, too. It wasn't like he could set up some sort of workshop in here. Well, he could, but it would be cramped and make everyone else living here cramped and uncomfortable too so it really wasn't worth it.

Writing, like poetry, wouldn't take much space and he'd only need stationary which he had plenty of. Maybe he could write a book? He did enjoy reading when he had the opportunity- he deeply regretted not packing up a few dozen books for this trip- so maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to try coming up with something himself.

His contemplation on the merits of writing a book- did he really want people using that to compare him to Jiraiya and if he gave them a great metal ship why couldn't he have sea-faring Samurai in a pirate adventure?- was interrupted as a body dropped down into the outpost- skipping the ladder in favor of speed- and his name was exuberantly called.

"Naruto-Kun!" He had enough time to blink and turn before they tackled him with a flying hug.

Naruto found himself frowning on the floor. From what he could feel- and the voice- the person was most definitely a woman but he couldn't say he recognized either. He lifted his head for a better view and immediately took note of the bright white hair. He certainly didn't know any women with that color and the only two men he knew with it were Jiraiya and Kakshi.

….Kakashi wasn't a woman now, was he? As strange as that thought was, it probably should have been alarming just how unsurprising such a development would be. Jiraiya becoming a woman was actually even more likely and he wouldn't have even blinked if he'd been told the Toad Sage had undergone a permanent change just so he could visit the women-only hotsprings without issue.

He would have to question why they were calling him 'Naruto-Kun' in that case but that would have been the strangest part of that situation. Well, no, the hug would have been the strangest unless he believed Naruto was the reason why. In that case he could sort of understand which, again, should probably have him more concerned about how little seemed to stand out as strange to him these days.

Had he spent too much town with the Wolves or were they the way they were because they had spent too much time around him? Chicken or egg, maybe instead they were feeding each other in some downward spiral of insanity.

Cycles of madness, that would certainly summarize the daily actions of the Wolves nicely.

Did Shizune's position as house physician and her training under Tsunade qualify her for matters of mental health? If not, he should probably look into obtaining the services of a therapist for, well, all of them, really. He was sure everyone he surrounded himself with was in dire need of a few sessions.

….Maybe he should become a therapist in that case. Gods knew he would have plenty of work in that case and he would be able to help his children. How long did it take to become one, anyway? He had plenty of time these days and that would continue when Mai eventually took over too. Optimally he'd be a therapist before that transition but that probably wasn't feasible.

Then again, the Yamanaka were probably the closest thing to Shinobi therapists and Inoichi could literally pluck things out of your head. Maybe he could do the opposite and add information with a similar technique? Surely between that and some self-study to help process the new knowledge and make it stick he could be fully qualified- or whatever equivalent there was for that- as a therapist in a matter of months, right?

He'd have to reach out to the man at some point to find out.

For now, though, his immediate concern should probably be the strange woman attached to him.

"It's so good to see you again, Naruto-Kun, it's been too long since I had the pleasure of seeing you." She looked up at him and he immediately made note of the green eyes and darker skin, each of which was a completely unique trait that he couldn't recognize from any of his allies or followers. Her smile morphed into a devilish grin that he did recognize as one hand slipped over his chest and then behind his head while the other traced down his hip. "And it's been entirely too long since I had the pleasure of feeling you." She practically purred.

"New look, Orochimaru?" He asked mostly to confirm his suspicion. He knew that grin from Orochimaru but also from Anko who had been the man's apprentice. Guren had worn something very similar a few times back in Mizu no Kuni and he was sure Tayuya had shown it a time or two as well. Either this was someone trained by them or it was the Snake Sage themself.

Considering how forward his- Naruto's, in this case- snakes tended to be, he couldn't even use this woman's actions as confirmation it was someone he knew. That would have been convenient, considering there was only one person he knew who had a tendency to change their appearance by swapping bodies.

"Mmm, do you like it?"

"I don't have the best view at the moment but I'm sure it's lovely."

"Oh, don't worry about that, I'll make sure you have plenty of chances to see everything this body has to offer." She promised. That was very Orochimaru. And very Anko. Also Tayuya.

Not for the first time Naruto wondered if Orochimaru found people with similar personalities or if it was something he did to them that made them all so alike. In either case, Naruto wasn't exactly complaining.

"I'm sure you will." He agreed. Orochimaru was bound to be eager to get back to what she'd missed when she'd inhabited Sasuke's body and he wasn't sure he would be able to keep her from getting what she wanted if he tried. Still, her being in a new body did prompt several questions. "I thought you needed time to ensure the Sharingan was properly copied into your Ten no Juin, what prompted the switch?"

"Oh, I'm still possessing Sasuke's body." A thoughtful look settled over her face. "Actually, you do bring up a good point. I am still in his body, technically, so can I use the Sharingan? A Kage-Bunshin would be capable, I believe, though the drain from using it might be too great to really advise doing so. By that logic, I'm capable but that still leaves me to question if the body is. The Ten no Juin in conjecture with my body-swapping should be no different than any other swap so whatever traits were already present in me should now be within the body, right?"

She was broken from her thoughts by Naruto's voice.

"Orochimaru?"

"Hm?"

"I think I'm going to need an explanation."

"Ah, yes." She looked slightly abashed, an interesting expression for Orochimaru to wear. "I should have probably started with that, I was just too excited when I saw you again."

She paused to consider the best way to explain what she'd done and eventually settled on;

"So, did you know a Kage-Bunshin is capable of performing my body-swapping Jutsu to permanently inhabit a physical body?

Purple eyes stared into her green for three seconds before what she said processed fully and they widened in absolute astonishment.

"You're a physical Kage-Bunshin?" His voice was tinged with awe. It was one hell of an advancement to an already outrageously useful technique.

"I am Orochimaru." She declared, slightly heated. Almost as soon as she had spoken she realized her tone and quickly backtracked. "Or whatever you'd like to call me, of course, but I assure you I am still very much a person."

He cocked an eyebrow, the corner of his lips rising into an amused half-smile, and leaned down to leave a light kiss on her forehead. "I never said you weren't."

And as a man who was made up of several identities he swapped between himself and his own Kage-Bunshin at the drop of a hat, that was the honest truth. It would be beyond hypocritical of him to think of Kage-Bunshin as anything less than equal to their original counterpart when he and his own clones often forgot who the original even was. They all had the memories of the original, after all, including the memory of performing the technique.

When first summoned it was usually easy to tell due to their positions but when you had them active for a day or more seeing to things as any one of the identities Naruto possessed such minor details often became lost. After the third time he and his confused clones lost the identity of the original he had started the habit of running his left thumb over a blade to assure himself he was the true instance of Naruto.

….If Orochimaru had a way to make clones physical, sustainable bodies then that wasn't going to work anymore. How easy would it be to lose himself amongst himself?

In the end, would it really matter?

Who he was wasn't determined by how he started, he was his past experiences and his ties to those he cared about. Surely that would continue through any physical clone so in the end, wouldn't they all be Naruto?

….Or they could just look in the mirror, he recalled. He wasn't capable of making a Kage-Bunshin on his own which meant those he did create had eyes influenced by the Biju chakra used in their creation. The fact that he and his clones tended to forget that little clue didn't really bode well. Maybe they were all just a bit overworked to miss something so obvious.

"I think I'm going to need all the details, Orochimaru, I cannot even begin to contemplate all the possibilities this presents for us."

"Now?" It was practically a whimper and she looked up at him with pleading eyes.

Naruto sighed. Mikoto was still wearing them all out but Orochimaru had gone for quite a while without. He might actually have to get a boost from Karura just to get through the night.

"Fine, you've earned some Naruto-time first." He conceded. "But my bed's been taken over by Mikoto, so we're not going into that room unless you're planning to share and be shared."

"Be shared?"

"I will not hesitate to sacrifice you to her sexual appetite to make my escape."

"...What on earth did you do to that woman?"

"I may have released whatever monster she's become but I will not accept responsibility for creating it."

Orochimaru's gaze moved from Naruto's face to the bedroom she could see in the distance, the question in her eyes warring with her desire to jealously guard her Naruto-time as the precious commodity it was.

"You can always visit her yourself to satisfy your curiosity." He offered before quickly adding; "Just don't expect me to rescue you."

"Are you scared of her, Naruto-Kun?"

"Scared? No. Aware of just how difficult it is to escape her clutches? Very much so. If I utilize your new clone technique the very first one is going to her. I'll just have to hope she doesn't kill it."

"Oh my, I have the strangest feeling you're not exaggerating."

"I am entirely convinced that woman is a succubus. She only seems to gain more strength each hour and I swear she managed to make Anko squirt with just a smile." He paused. "Of course, I could have been delirious from dehydration and exhaustion and it's also entirely possible that was a dream I had during the fleeting moments of sleep I managed to squirrel away in the carriage ride here. I'm not about to ask."

Orochimaru made a mental note to have the other Orochimaru refocus his spirit summoning project towards spirits of a more sensual nature. If she got her hands on something of Mikoto's and she really was a succubus would one of his summoning techniques actually work on her?

Probably not, mostly because Mikoto wasn't a succubus. If she was, well, she could go over theory all day but that didn't matter much considering she wasn't.

…Right?

Momoichi Zabuza had mastered the art of silent killing and was so skilled he could strike at any of his opponent's vital areas with absolutely zero visibility.

The Kirigakure Shinobi currently stationed in Suna would have greatly benefited from following in his example.

Kurotsuchi dropped from the flat roof of a bakery behind a meandering, late-night Kiri patrol and landed in a crouch, her palms flat against the packed earthen roads. Before they could even turn to see her spears of solid rock skewered them groin to throat and lifted their now limp bodies nearly a foot into the air. A few extra handseals and the rocky tips jutting from gaping throats grew bulbus and opened like a flower, the petals peeling back until they served as six wide hooks.

The ground swallowed them completely a second later, leaving not a trace of their previous existence or unfortunate fate. Kurotsuchi grinned.

Then she scowled. If there was one thing she disliked about that wonderful technique it was how difficult retrieving their equipment became. She probably should have done that between skewering them and sending them under but when the name was stealth speed was the game.

Still, it would have been nice to grab their wallets and when you were inciting an armed resistance against a foreign occupation any weapons and supplies went a long way. She supposed they could probably come back for them later if she marked the spot and they remembered to, but that sort of defeated the idea of leaving no trace of their passing so she discarded it.

Next time she would try to be a bit more patient and wait until they were somewhere more concealed before striking. That should give her plenty of time to loot the bodies without risking discovery.

Slipping into a side street and scaling a wall, she took a perch on another roof to continue her hunt. Technically all she and her troops needed to do was supply Suna civilians- retired Shinobi, mostly, because even if they're civilians on paper you never really stop being a Shinobi- and allow them to do the rest. Succeed or not, it would cause the still recovering Kiri issues and call Hi no Kuni attention outside their borders to draw them thin.

And if they succeeded? Well, their attention would still be drawn but they'd also have to deal with another potential threat which would clear some of the heat from the eastern invasion forces and allow Kurotsuchi to continue through the south with even more cover.

If they laid low in Kawa they could let Hi no Kuni troops pass them and then catch them between themselves and Suna. That would clear them up, keep Suna as a threat that would demand even more immediate attention, and Kurostuchi's movements would be all but unopposed.

That was a best case scenario, of course, but with how well things were going so far Kurotsuchi was actually finding herself unusually optimistic. Things normally didn't go to plan so well, she was really liking this.

"East barracks cleared," Her short range radio crackled to life in her left ear. "Sierra November Five seem to be making their way south, send any stragglers this way for armaments."

Sierra November, the Suna natives. Group five was proving to be especially effective tonight and had been building up steam ever since they had been sprung from Suna's prison. They may have been incarcerated for their crimes against Suna originally but they were still the desert people and wouldn't stand for invaders.

The way Kurotsuchi saw it, this was practically community service and she was sure many of Sunagakure's denizens would feel much the same. The future Tsuchikage saw quite a few pardons and releases for good behavior in their future.

"Copy that, I have a few more in need of teeth. Sending them that way now." Another voice piped up.

The more retired Shinobi and freed convicts managed to push back against the foreign presence the more the civilians were inspired to join in- not that it took much to rile them up.

Most Suna Civilians had a basic skill set comparable to Genin and it wasn't surprising for those who made a living beyond Suna's walls to be more akin to low Chuunin due to the necessity born from the harsh environment they called home.

Groups three and seven were actually made up entirely of civilians who had decided to take up arms. Fortunately Konoha had been kind enough to ensure their Shinobi were well supplied for their occupation and those supplies had been left for Kirigakure forces when they took over for them.

Iwa was more than happy to be the next owners of those weapons and her Shinobi were passing them out to any willing hands they could find. It was no small miracle that the entirety of Sunagakure hadn't been alerted to the uprising considering how large these pockets of resistance were becoming. Maybe the Sierra November were more restrained than she had been led to-

An explosion sounded in the distance and she could see the orange glow of a raging fire in the night.

Nevermind, then, that's more in line with what she had been expecting.

Kurotsuchi smiled. That wasn't anything they weren't prepared for. Hell, they had made more progress than she had thought possible before their secrecy had been thrown out. Good. As much as she enjoyed the hunt she much preferred the chaos of open battle.

It was time to cut loose.

Morino Ibiki was, by merit of vast skill and unmatched experience, a confident man. The pride of Morino men tucked down his left pantleg didn't hurt that any, either.

Why that confidence was relevant at the moment was because, for all his confidence, Morino Ibiki was especially confident that he didn't own any pets. He was also confident that KIT didn't have any sort of mascot that hung about his office for some sort of team morale or strange form of bonding exercise.

And yet there was a snake on his desk. Quite a large one, too.

He was pretty confident he wasn't imagining it, either. It hadn't caught him by surprise or anything, he had known there was something in his office before he opened the door, he just hadn't been expecting a snake. Rats, maybe, they slipped in every so often. Both the rodents and the unfortunate idiots who thought they could help themselves to Konoha intelligence.

Ibiki dealt with the latter personally, though the end result was no different to the way the former was handled. It just tended to take longer and make a larger mess.

Far more satisfying, though, and occasionally it provided something worthwhile too. Some people didn't really know what they knew. Rather, they didn't understand the full value of some of the information they took for granted everyday. They would be surprised by the sort of damage that could be done with it if any of them lived long enough to see the results of Ibiki's operation here in the bowels of Konoha's high-security compound.

They never did.

So, while not surprised and absolutely certain he was looking at a snake, Ibiki had no idea what the hell it was doing in his office or, more importantly, on his desk. He couldn't care less if it wanted to coil up around the potted plant in the corner that had died three years ago when he'd left the village for a diplomatic arrangement- see; high-value prisoner exchange- and Anko had neglected to water the poor thing or if it had taken to the top of the filing cabinets that took up the entirety of the remaining wall space, but he needed his desk clear so he could do his job.

And Ibiki was a man who took pride in the work he did. Not doing his job was not an option and never would be, as far as he was concerned.

Ibiki stared at the snake.

The snake stared at Ibiki.

Ibiki continued to stare.

The snake stuck out its tongue.

Ibiki's hand inched towards the Kunai strapped horizontally on his hip.

"Ah, the scarred one is Morino Ibiki of Konoha, yes?" The snake recoiled back slightly when it realized Ibiki's intentions and while it spoke to the man its attention remained firmly on the hand that had paused in its journey to retrieve the concealed steel.

"The scarred one is he, yes." The fact that this snake could talk actually served to…well, not 'relax' or even 'put to ease' but it did slightly explain why he might be encountering a snake.

Anko tended to avoid her own snake summons with the exception of shooting them out of her trenchcoat sleeves- why she made that particular exception Ibiki had never bothered trying to understand. It was better for one's mental health not to look too far into anything that woman did- so while it was unlikely she'd send one to him for some reason it wasn't completely impossible.

She'd just never done it before, which was reason enough for Ibiki to be suspicious. In fact, he hadn't heard anything from Anko directly since she had left Konoha with the Wolves, snake or no, so any word from her would be strange in itself.

He also couldn't remember ever seeing her with golden snakes, those that came from her sleeves tended to be a splotchy mottled green and brown or a solid deep purple.

The snake relaxed its coiled body, allowing a scroll to fall to the desk. "This child of Au has been charged with delivering the scroll to Morino Ibiki."

It was just Ahije's luck that after he and Aato had moved from Nami to Yu no Kuni- Aato with Tsukuyomi because she could actually fit comfortably amongst the luggage and Ahije making his own way a week later in case Elder Akishi had tried to reach out to the High-Priest during the transition- he had only just informed the Ak'Gyun of the move when Orochimaru had shown up.

At first he thought it was a good thing, Orochimaru had been willing to bring him with her from the temple to the High-Priest's current residence. Then, soon after they arrived, she told him about something that had him deciding he needed a message sent urgently and he decided to make use of Ahije simply because he was already present.

Which is why he found himself hurrying all the way back to Konoha, a village he had just passed on the way to Yu no Kuni anyway. Due to the urgency, he hadn't been able to go at his preferred pace, either, and at his age it wasn't easy for the larger snake to move so quickly.

Well, it wasn't exactly hard, he just didn't like doing it. He was much more suited for lounging in the sun, thank you, he left slithering through the forests to the hatchlings.

That was to say nothing about the scroll he'd been forced to keep in his mouth the whole time. He hadn't even been able to catch a snack on his way here and the damned rodents seemed to know it, too. Damn things kept taunting him by following his path, he was absolutely sure of it. Bastards. Bastards the lot of them. He'd go back and devour them all whole so they and their descendants would spend the rest of all time living and filling his stomach. That would show them.

Or, he would if he wasn't under orders to return immediately after Ibiki had received and read the scroll. Saved by the orders of Tsukuyomi, Au's High-Priest. Those rodents had best be grateful for such an undeserved mercy.

"And who charged you with that task?"

"Naruto." That actually made more sense. Anko had already admitted that Naruto had ties to Orochimaru back when summoned serpents had come to Konoha's aid during Suna's attempted invasion. It was strange that he hadn't sent Kakashi as usual but Ibiki was aware the man had recently been placed temporarily in charge of Konoha's ANBU forces. Whatever the hell Asuma was smoking when he made that decision Ibiki couldn't even begin to guess but he was resolute to stay far the hell away for his own good.

Perhaps the old dog was too busy with his new duties. By that, of course, Ibiki really meant avoiding them but when Kakashi was involved that was pretty much a given.

Retrieving the scroll from his desk, Ibiki carefully opened it making sure to peer down at the page as he unrolled it to ensure he didn't set off any seals. Naruto hadn't tried anything yet but that wasn't going to have a man like Ibiki letting his guard down any.

Besides, he could always replace himself with the snake if he found himself in danger.

As to be expected, there wasn't a whole lot on the scroll. For how much material was used in the damn things, only the first few feet ever seemed to get any real use unless you were that bun-haired kunoichi who had been unlucky enough to find herself on Gai's team. She was the only person Ibiki had ever heard of to go beyond six feet out of necessity rather than in an attempt to hide something.

He understood it was mostly tradition but they really should start exploring more efficient ways to do things.

'Ibiki. Urgent. Ensure Konoha is informed. -Naruto'

Simple and to the point, Ibiki could appreciate that. The only other thing was, as expected, a storage seal that no doubt contained whatever it was Naruto felt was urgent for Konoha to know. Ibiki felt there was little chance Naruto had stumbled upon anything Konoha intelligence hadn't already picked up but he also wasn't willing to completely discount the possibility that he may have found some detail that would make something they knew about more serious than they initially realized.

It could also be about something Tsukuyomi and his Wolves were doing that Konoha needed to know about, that was probably more likely.

Releasing the seal, Ibiki was greeted by a hastily written report recounting an encounter some Akunaki of The Ravenous- Ibiki didn't even want to know- had with a group of Iwa Shinobi….in….Taki no Kuni…? That wasn't too far away from Tsuchi no Kuni's borders but the mention of a larger force that the Iwagakure Shinobi had broken off from most certainly was reason for concern.

There was some information on the report that had been redacted- mostly what Akunaki and these 'Ravenous' were doing in the area in the first place and some individual traveling with them who, if Ibiki was to guess, was neither a Wolf or one of these 'Ravenous' based on how they were separated from the others when mentioned- but a majority of it remained as the original report that had been submitted to Tsukuyomi himself as an urgent matter.

If it was to be believed- Ibiki wasn't inclined to doubt it, he didn't see any benefit Naruto or the Wolves might gain in making this up- and the conclusions this Akunaki came to were accurate- Ibiki found himself reaching the same conclusions himself from the presented evidence- then it was quite possible Iwa was kicking off the next Ninkai Taisen.

Goddamnit, Ibiki could see why, too. They'd never had a better opportunity with how stretched Hi no Kuni was trying to hold onto its newly acquired territory and Kiri, while allied, couldn't be counted on for much considering just how hard they had been hit by their civil war.

Iwa knew damn well that Konoha and Kumo would never be able to ally themselves together against this, too, considering the recent bad blood over the Hyuuga incident eight or so years ago.

Ensure Konoha is informed. Heh, no fucking kidding. They were on the eve of another war, that was something that needed to be brought to Asuma's attention immediately.

It was also a cause of concern. How is it Ibiki hadn't heard even so much as a whisper of this from his own sources? Why was he learning of this through Naruto and the Wolves? He wished he had time to investigate the agents he had in the areas that should have caught the increase of activity that would have tipped them off about this but he didn't have time for that. He would have to cut them off from his network for now and then go back to determine where they were actually compromised after things had settled.

Sweeping the scroll into the trashcan by his desk, he slipped the report into an empty folder and tucked it securely under his arm.

"Anything to send back?" The snake asked him.

"My gratitude, if this information checks out." He'd send out some KIT operatives to verify it after bringing the possibility to Asuma's attention, just to be safe. "You can let him know I'll be looking into it."

"Very well." The snake coiled in on itself and focused on the room it had briefly seen back in Yu no KUni. It was much easier to do this when you were summoned fresh for a singular task. Having to rely on their own energy after Elder Akishi had initially summoned them weeks ago, performing reverse summoning between points in the human realm wasn't something they could use as they pleased.

There was a reason he traveled to the new temple on his belly and the only reason he wasn't doing the same now that the urgent message had been received was because he was certain there would be enough time for him to rest after he returned.

…and because otherwise he would forget Ibiki's message, but mostly that first reason.

Ibiki himself was hardly concerned with those matters, though; he'd already left.

His arrangement with Naruto was paying off better than he could have ever imagined.

My continued gratitude to the Patrons who support my work.

Lord Generals

Cephalon Keeper, Michael Huber, B4NH4MM3R, Jacklefrackle

Lord Marshals

Ronji, MythicFool, Pope Gregory Trivium III, Sedition, Luxano,

Lord Majors

The SHARP fox, Malte Krain, StayFrosty, Noah, Alex Robb, Jeremy Webb, Jamel, McKinzie, Tjk9399, Raymond Saragian, magicheart 0, Gamer91, Marcothephoenix, Ben Peek, Xerxes8796, Joe I

Lord Commissars

Tim Keizer, Daron Smith, gabriel reynoso, Romulan, Shi_no_Kage, Whatzzzzzzzup, Nick Payne, Christopher, Desertgem1, Daniel Witry, Liam Kearney, TormisD92

Lord High-Inquisitor

Janus

Lord Inquisitors

Angel Morales, Bob Ross, Brendon, Joe Schumacher, Michael Friede, Nilzor, Chase, Maroner, Forseeti, Carlos Campbell, Thanyx, Chace Gannon, Slip123, Godfrey Kawi, Nicholas Hoover, Nicholas Liu, Supernowy, Milton Pereira, YGO, Louis Lennin, OldManCain, Sivellan, Brandon Romero, MB, Brandon, LoneSaiyan, Para, Nekrull DeUmbrus, Jennifer carpenter, HKaz, Pantheras, Marin Dimovski, MasterT941, J. G., Tyrell2000, Gobo, June Tai, james escobedo, Sebastiaan asselbergs, Perez, Hentai Prince, James, TheGreatBubbaJ, TheAbsoluteMonarch, Polo Pannini, JonCotterill, Zack Crum, SMatatabi, Theepicslime, Matthew Smith, Wrex, DamnedThrice, DualEquinox, THE META, Carl Confoy

Until I next have your attention, I remain,

-Eyazahrid