"Hey Sammy, the doctor said there's a big chance that you could hear us so here I am. I've never told you about the time when you were three and Dean was eight, I took a break from the hunt and took you to the easter egg hunt. I doubt you remember, but you took one look at the huge playground and bunny mascot and burst into tears, reaching for me," John said smiling fondly while he remembered as he stroked his son's hair tenderly before continuing

"You've always been a daddy's boy, attached to me in a way that Dean wasn't, but it decreased as you grew older. And I know I'm to blame. I wished things were different, that I could go back and be your father instead of being your drill sergeant. I was so overcome with the need for revenge and vengeance that I stopped seeing you and your brother as kids, and started seeing you as soldiers. I failed to understand that you were different from Dean, and always compared you to him. And for that I'm sorry kiddo.

I'm sorry that I was a screwed up father back then, and even now. I'm sorry that I blamed you for not killing my possesed self, when I should have been touched by your loyalty and love for me. I just wish you would wake up so I could look into your eyes that always warm me up and tell you I'm sorry."

John ended his monologue apology by closing his eyes as a tear escaped and trickled down his cheek.

"It's okay," a slurred voice had John's eyes snapping open to find a sleepy Sam Winchester blinking at him, the corner of his mouth lifted in a drowsy smile.

"Sammy, I'm so sorry," John said as he cupped Sam's cheek gently, his heart swelling as his youngest leaned into the touch.

"I know, I heard."

John tilted his head "How much did you hear?"

Sam reached for his father's hand "Everything."

Taking Sam's hand in his, John waited for Sam to continue.

"I forgive you dad, for everything. Sure, I wish that things could have been different, but the past is in the past, and we have a chance now right? And you weren't a screwed up father. Sure there were times when I hated you, but deep down, I've always loved you. And that attachment never went away, it was just buried. There were times at Stanford when I would just listen to old recordings of you, just so I could hear your voice. I would constantly question my coming to college, because it meant being away from you and Dean. These were the times when I was so close to throwing in the towel and coming back home with you two," Sam admitted.

"I'm glad you didn't. I should have seen this a long time ago, but I'm proud of you Sammy. I always have been."

Sam smiled and his eyes became heavier. "Thanks dad."

John noticed that Sam was fighting sleep. "Go to sleep, bud."

Sam fought to keep his eyes open so he could look at his dad "You'll stay?"

John stroked Sam's forehead with his thumb "I will, now get some rest," he ordered, watching as Sam's eyes slipped close and the boy relaxed in sleep, but his hand never left his father's.

Spn

The next time Sam woke up, it was to the sleeping form of his father who was still holding his hand, and his brother who was watching him.

"D'n?"

Dean's face broke into a relieved smile "Hey Sammy, how're you feeling?"

Sam became more aware of his surroundings, and how dry his throat felt. Dean must have anticipated that because there was a spoon filled with ice chips in front of his mouth. Taking a bite, he relished the cool feeling of the ice in his mouth and throat.

"Yeah the doctor said that you might be thirsty after surgery," Dean said, setting the cup of ice chips aside when he made sure his little brother had enough.

Sam frowned "Surgery?"

Dean's face morphed into a pissed Dean Winchester face so fast that it had Sam almost gulping.

"Yes, Sam, surgery. You had a frigging tear in your spleen that caused it to rupture. And what's worse is that you've had it since the crash. Why the hell didn't you tell us?!"

Sam averted his eyes "I didn't want you to worry. I didn't think it was a big deal."

"Not a big deal?! You almost died, Sam. In fact you did die, your heart stopped and I had to watch the doctors shock you back to life. How is that not a big deal?" He shouted the last part, causing Sam to flinch.

"Dean, son, calm down," came the voice of their father, who had obviously woken up. "Sam, what Dean is trying to say is that you should have told us, no matter how big or small the injury was."

Sam nodded sheepishly, then turned to Dean "I'm really sorry, Dean."

Dean shook his head "No, I'm sorry Sammy, I shouldn't have shouted. But the next time you get an injury, I don't care if it's so much as a papercut, I want you to come tell us."

Sam smiled, "Okay."

The three Winchesters then engaged in a light conversation for a couple of minutes until Sam started slurring his words halfway through his sentence.

Dean and John frowned, "Sammy, are you okay?" Dean asked, his worry meter increasing as Sam didn't answer, but blinked lethargically then his eyes rolled back, and the machines went haywire.

"Sam!" Dean and John both shouted and jumped out of their seats.

"Help! I need a doctor!" John shouted as he poked his head into the hallway.

A bunch of nurses and Sam's doctor came rushing into the room. The doctor cursed as he examined Sam and saw the readouts in the machines.

"The kid's got a bleed. Go tell them to prep an OR. He needs surgery immediately." The doctor began shouting orders as he and the nurse removed the brakes from the wheels and started to drag the bed from the room. A nurse took the doctor's position as the man rushed to explain to his patient's distraught family members what was happening.

"Sam most probably has a bleed that was either missed in the first surgery or caused by it. We need to rush him to an OR to fix it."

The doctor paused and placed a hand briefly on the father's shoulder "He's in good hands." Then he turned to leave.

John pulled Dean close to him in an uncharacteristic show of comfort and affection "Don't worry Dean, Sammy'll be okay." He then added 'He has to be' in his mind.

Dean shivered as he thought along the same line as his father "I hope so dad."

Spn

Only one more chapter to go! Feel free to drop a review;)

Meemz