In one world, Cossack heard about Albert Bridge and looked the other way. In another, John Rider found a stray assassin on his doorstep. An AU told in snapshots for the Alex Rider Big Bang. Updates irregularly as real life allows.

Supervillian blind date where they destroy a city together to see how compatible they are as a couple. Hint: This does not turn out as well as Brendan Chase thought it would.

After a hard year with a poor ending, Alex Rider is starting to slow. Retired from 6 and living in foster care, he was starting to loose sight of the light of life. But maybe, all it takes to get back on track is the right people. The right family. Now with new content and (semi) regular updates.

A suit and a clipboard will get you a lot of places no questions asked. And there are accidents that need to be arranged.

Alex goes to a bar and somehow manages to join a D&D adventure group. Fuck this, fuck them, and fuck his life.

Alex accidentally acquired a fifty foot fire breathing snake named "Rainbow" that he set loose in a jungle. Suddenly, Rainbow decides to find him while he's at Malagasto.

Ian gets kidnapped by Scorpia on his way home from work and Dr Three is delighted at the opportunity to torture him.

"If you're calling to make death threats, please press 1. If you're calling to threaten my family, please press 2. If you need my address to send a letterbomb, press 3. For anything else, press 4 and leave a message after the tone." Alex has always given out his number to anyone that asks for it - terrorist, criminal, colleague, or random stranger. His life through voicemail.

Collection of one-shots for Febuwhump 2022.

Alex can make anyone confess to their crimes with a single touch. And once they stop, they just don't stop. They just keep confessing. That's what it means to be a confessor. Doctor Three has no idea what to make of his new student's ability to ruin an agent forever.

Alex was told that Australia was a hellhole. He doesn't get it - look at all of these animal friends he made!

Jack Starbright goes back in time, and Alex's future indeed looks brighter.

K-unit finds Alex on surveillance tapes after years of thinking he was dead. They launch a rescue mission but when they find him they worry he might just shatter. It will be a long road to recovery if it isn't too late.

Alex and Sabina finally have the chance to go on a date. Fluff! No explosions! Happy Unicorn Land!

Daniela, soon to be Mrs Harris, is finally meeting her fiancé's best friend. Let's just say he was probably the last person she was expecting to be the best man at her wedding... The first in a series of interconnected one-shots.

Alex is sent to a very, very, snooty boarding school with mandatory pets. He decides to pick the one that looks the most pathetic.

This is a collection of Alex Rider Drabbles based on one word prompts. The body of each work (excluding titles and the endnotes) is exactly 100 words. Each work is titled by the word prompt. Word prompts used: Genius, Flower, Tyrant, Ocean, Alexithymia.

The CIA doesn't have to do many collaborative operations with the home team. Which is probably good - the FBI has this thing called morality, which Joe has always thought is a bit overrated. But here they are asking, yet again, for some assistance. Joe thinks it's time to unleash his secret weapon: Alex Rider. If Alex can't manage to cause so much chaos that the FBI never wants...

SCORPIA has to rethink their plan when the American president is fine with a load of kids from some other piddly country over there dying. It's not like they're AMERICAN children, right? Besides, Britain is basically part of Germany or something, if you look at a map. Aren't Germany evil? And they lost a war. What kind of losers lose a war? America has never done that. Pah.

No one is quite sure who came up with the idea, but it made sense: there would be someone rich enough to pay for you to cause a natural disaster, and if you waited long enough then it was basically inevitable. Easy money. Like taking billions of dollars from a rich man. SCORPIA didn't expect it to go quite this far however - they're being blamed for WHAT now?

Desmond McCain thought he was being clever by keeping half of the money that people donated to his charities. Those management costs really just.. add up, you know? He is disgusted when his charity is praised for its low management costs by the Times Magazine.

Alex has the worst superpower on the planet. He can transform anything into aluminum. It was useless until this mission.

Poor Crawley has to write up all of John, Ian, and Alex's missions. Good thing he has Gordon Ross to complain to. Drinking Buddies!

Stuck in an airport. Everyone from SCORPIA is wishing that they had ignored accounting and chartered private jets for this. The flights all got delayed for reasons?

Alex knew that fourteen years was pretty long for a cat to live. After finally going through Ian's shit, he sees that the cat has been in the family for much, much longer.