Liv didn't book her next session as she left. She didn't make it the next day either. She was thinking it wasn't a smart idea to be around him. Her dreams that night after their first session were full of him, mainly of him joining her in the gym shower and dropping to his knees. She dreamt so vividly of the feeling of his beard between her thighs that the fight her body was giving her to have an orgasm woke her up. She had groaned realising it was a dream and she had wanted to groan again when she looked to see Trevor next to her.

It's all your fault she thought to herself as she looked over to him sleeping next to her. If only you'd show me some attention.

So that day she didn't call. She went about her day finding things to distract her. She gave her closer a clean out, then the kitchen cupboards. She was on her hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen floor when Trevor came home from work but he didn't ask why, only gave her a strange look before walking into the office.

When she crawled into bed with him that night she wrapped herself around him and ran her fingers down his chest along his stomach. He didn't have a bad body but she was struggling to not draw comparisons to how different that would feel if it were Elliots chest and abs. By the time she got to the waistband of his pants he grabbed her hand and held it there. A silent no. Eventually she pulled it out of his grip, offended that he was telling her no and moved to the other side of the bed, their backs to each other. If only he knew what other offers you had.

She is woken up the next morning by her phone ringing on the nightstand next to her. She groans because for the second night in a row she was dreaming of him. He was there with her, in her marital bed reassuring her that he'd never tell her no.

"Hello"

She was still half asleep so she had even looked at the called ID.

"Morning"

She jumps up into a sitting position in the bed, pulling the phone away from her face to check the caller ID and sees it's Elliot calling. She wouldn't have answered if she had seen that. She turns to check on Trevor and his side of the bed is already empty. Can't even sleep in with you on a Saturday her brain goads her. She puts the phone back to ear and takes a calming breath.

"Uh hi. Morning"

"You didn't book another session"

"Yea. I mean no. I just wasn't sure when I'd be free next" she lies.

"You're free now. It's a glorious morning Liv, don't waste the day away"

She wonders why he felt so confident to call her Liv, not many people did and she wouldn't normally let a stranger.

"I wasn't planning on it"

That was a lie. She had no plans for the day until it was time to get ready for drinks with Amanda tonight.

"It'll start your day off right. Let's go to Central Park, enjoy the sun for a bit?"

She wants to tell him no but this is what she was paying him to do wasn't it? Keep her motivated when she couldn't be bothered? Or was it more than that? Did he normally drag women out of bed on Saturday mornings?

"Ok fine. Give me an hour"

"Thirty minutes. I'll text you where to meet me"

He hangs up before she has time to argue with him about how that wasn't possibly enough time for her to get ready. She throws the sheets off her not even bothering to make them and walks over to her underwear drawer. She isn't sure why she's picking out matching underwear, he isn't going to see but she wants to wear something sexy for him in her mind.

She has to practically run the few blocks from her apartment over to Central Park to meet him and even then she's a few minutes late because she didn't want to turn up out of breath and looking unfit. She didn't know why she couldn't say no to him and tell him that she couldn't get ready in that timeframe and instead she literally ran to him.

"You're late"

"It's a saturday morning you're lucky i'm here at all"

She blows a stray strand of hair from her face and he smiles. She looks more casual than he has seen her so far, an early morning wake up call was definitely a good idea. He moves his hand to her face and moves the strand of hair that had fallen straight back into her face with his pinky finger.

"I am"

He lets his finger linger on her face for longer than needed before dropping it to his side and grinning.

"Come on then, let's get that blood pumping" He starts to jog backwards and motions his head for her to follow him. "Let me see if you can keep up"

She rolls her eyes but starts jogging behind him. He was facing forward now but he kept turning back to check on her and once he notices she is out of breath he slows down to jog next to her.

"So why didn't you book another session?"

She turns to look at him but she doesn't answer. She looks back straight ahead and puffs out heavily. She isn't sure she could manage to speak even if she wanted to.

"Did I do something?"

He's persistent, she thinks to herself and she shakes her head hoping that's an answer enough for him. He nods thankful that he hadn't pushed her too far or made her feel uncomfortable. He slows down the pace a little so she can catch her breath before he continues.

"So tell me about yourself"

They're at a power walking pace now and while she thought that would be better for her she didn't realise he was doing it to get a conversation out of her.

"What do you want to know?"

"Are you married?"

"Yeah" If you can call it a marriage. "And I have a son"

"But you're a good wife?"

She tilts her head looking at him confused. Was he questioning her or telling her?

"Amanda, Casey, they're your friends right?" she nods. "Well I guess you can say I know them pretty well…"

"So I've heard"

"But you're not like that?"

This time he was asking and she shakes her head.

"I would never betray him like that"

Elliot nods and ponders for a moment. He decides to take her words at value, he won't push her if she wants to stay faithful.

"Well then, my friend Olivia"

"We're friends now are we?"

"I believe we should have some sort of personal relationship. So friends it is"

She nods. He's sweet. If only he knew the dreams you've been having about him. He's respecting your marriage more than you are.

Olivia felt rather daring when she got dressed that evening. She pulled out a suit she hadn't worn in many years. She must have been feeling very good when she bought this. She digs through her tops and finds a silk number with a lace trim to give the illusion she was brazen enough to just wear a bra under it.

Trevor still isn't home when she goes to leave so she sends him a text to let him know she's off our with the girls and he texts back to have fun. This is the extent of their relationship now and she sighs.

The bar is loud. She finds her friends at the bar already doing tequila shots as if it wasn't only 8pm.

"Get one down you come on" Amanda says, sending one her way and ordering her usual glass of Pinot for her. .

Before she knows it they're yelling to be heard over the laughter as Casey tells them about her latest date disaster.

"Honestly girls, I'm starting to think I need to settle down. The sex on tap seems a much easier option"

Liv sips her drink awkwardly. I wish she thinks to herself.

"Talking of good easy sex. Have you seen much of Elliot yet?"

The women all oooh and turn to Liv excitedly waiting for her answer.

"I've had a few sessions". The women all cheer her on but she waves her hands in front of her. "But like Casey pointed out I have it on tap at home, why would I need it from anywhere else?"

There was a mix of wolf whistles and laughter, the married women were shocked she still felt that way about her husband after all these years. They personally didn't want to go near theirs. But Olivia would rather them think she couldn't keep her hands off him than admit he doesn't want to touch her.

"You're missing out. I tell you the things that man can do with his tongue…"

Casey gets lost in thought and her eyes flicker closed and Liv doesn't know if she feels envious or angry. She knew he would be good, it gives her more ammunition for her late night fantasies now. Knowing he'd carry on until she came all over his face, that he would think of her pleasure. It makes her clench her thighs together.

"You've got him on facebook right?" Casey asks another one of their friends and she nods. "Take a selfie of us all, he might come crawling"

Ayanna takes a photo of the group of them, well quite a lot in fact until they all agree on one they like. She uploads it to Facebook and tags them all and Casey, hoping that she'd pushed her cleavage out enough was hoping for a call.

—

Elliot was sitting in his apartment alone. Fin had asked him to go out for a bit with the guys but he couldn't be bothered so instead he sat in front of the tv scrolling through his phone when he came across a picture of her. It had taken him by surprise to see her pop up on his facebook but he opens the photo and zooms straight into her.

"Fuck" he mutters to himself.

She's standing at the back of the photo, pouting into the camera and her eyes look like they're staring straight at him. He can't see her outfit properly but her top is low cut enough that from the angle the photo was taken he can see her cleavage.

He clicks on her name and scrolls through her facebook. There's a lot of family photos there. They look happy or so they pretend. They seem to be on holiday in every photo and there aren't any of her and her husband alone, there's always their son with them. Her son looks just like her and he can tell how much she adores him just from the gushing posts about him on her facebook.

He knows what he said to her earlier about respecting her choice but after seeing that photo he can't resist pulling up their text conversation.

"Looking good Miss Benson"

Liv hears her phone go off and pulls it straight out in case it was Noah with an emergency and is surprised to see a text from Elliot. And calling her Benson? Nobody had called her that in many years.

"Benson?"

"Ayanna tagged you on facebook. Olivia Langan (Nee Benson)"

Of course. She wondered why he had ignored her actual name. Did he want her to pretend she wasn't married for a night? It did sound tempting.

"Not for many years"

"I'm sure Miss Benson knew how to have fun"

"Don't I now?"

She can't believe she's sitting in a bar smiling into her phone. She does feel like she's in her twenties again. If phones would have had the texting abilities in her twenties that is.

"You tell me. Will I get to see that side of you?"

She sighs and places her phone back in her purse. She doesn't trust herself to reply to that, knowing Elliot he'd sext her into bed right there and then but to say no seemed wrong. It seemed like a lie because of what her heart wanted.

Elliot berates himself for pushing her too far when he realises how long he's been left on read and that she isn't going to reply to him. So much for his leaving her be.

Liv tries to take her mind off him but the subject falls back to him later on as the conversation again falls to sex. It was one of the other women this time that speaks and Liv wonders just how many people she knows that he's been with.

"...it just wasn't something i'd done before but when he grabbed me by my throat and choked me a little well! My Charles would never do such a thing, I asked him to afterwards and he looked at me disgusted"

It did seem a little bit of a strange thing to be into, she can't imagine she wanted someone to choke her when they fucked her but she might be open to it with him.

"If a guy had asked to spit in my mouth ten years ago I'd have found it gross but now.." chimes in another one and Liv cringes. Surely not? She imagines him doing it to her though and then imagines him spitting on her pussy just before he enters her and her imagination is in the gutter again.

It's after two when Liv gets home and she's surprised to find Trevor still awake, sitting on the couch watching tv. She kicks off her heels and climbs onto the couch next to him wrapping her arms around him.

"Waiting for me?" she asks as she kisses along his jawline to nibble on his ear.

He makes a mmm sound and she wasn't sure if he was agreeing or just didn't want to tell her no but she tries again with him and places her hand on his neck as she kisses down the other side.

"It's been so long"

She kisses back up to his mouth and he finally kisses her for the first time in months but it feels wrong. She can tell his heart isn't in it. She pulls back and places her forehead on his and sighs.

"Don't you find me attractive anymore Trevor? What is wrong with me?"

"There's nothing wrong Liv. You're just drunk. You're being paranoid"

He pushes her off him and walks into their bedroom without her. She doesn't know what his problem is, he has no excuse anymore now that they have an empty house. They're free to fuck on the kitchen counter if they wanted yet he still he won't touch her.

Feeling sorry for herself she reaches over to her bag and pulls out her phone to reread her messages with Elliot.

"You tell me. Will I get to see that side of you?"

She rereads the last message from him that she hadn't replied to. She looks towards the hallway that her husband had just walked down, eager to get away from her and decides to reply.

"Maybe… maybe one day"

Elliot's phone flashes on his night stand and he opens his eyes half asleep to read the message on his front screen. Maybe… maybe one day. He reads over and over and grins to himself.

"Let me know when you're ready"

She chews on her lip nervously when she reads his reply wondering what she'd just agreed to. You're drunk, if you regret it in the morning blame it on that. She tells herself. But she doesn't think she will.