Disclaimer: I own nothing regarding GWTW
Author's Notes: Thank you for all the reviews and feedback.
I have included a couple of characters from the book to enhance my story, but I have tried to stay true to the movie version of the story.
I have read that David O. Selznick had written an alternate ending to the movie that shows Rhett and Scarlett on a train leaving Atlanta. In the end he decided to stay true to the book.
I will not.
I am not completely sure about the timeline between Scarlett falling down the stairs, Bonnie dying, and Melanie dying. I do know in the movie the events were one right on top of the other.
Chapter One
After Rhett had given his little speech in the parlor blaming their disastrous marriage on Scarlett, he had gone upstairs to pack his bag. Scarlett had followed him up the stairs. She had to think of a way to get him to stay. She just knew he still loved her and now she knew she loved him also.
Scarlett pleaded with Rhett, "Don't leave me!"
"I will not risk my heart again."
"There is no risk. I am telling you that I love you."
"That is your misfortune."
"No, Rhett, it is your fortune. You told me before Bonnie died that you loved me. You cannot have stopped loving me in that short amount of time."
"You stopped loving Wilkes in a matter of minutes."
"Are you saying your love for me was as false as my love for Ashley. You know it wasn't. Bonnie hasn't been dead a week. You just think you don't love me anymore because of all your pain over Bonnie's death. All your pain over the miscarriage. All your guilt," Rhett looked at Scarlett sharply. She said, "I'm feeling that pain too. I'm feeling that guilt too. Nobody will understand your pain and guilt as much as I will. Give us one more chance. Let's go away together. We can look for that grace and beauty together. Give me one more year. You have already given me all this time what is one more year? Please. Rhett, you joined the Confederate army in the eleventh hour because of your fondness for lost causes. We have more of a chance than the Confederate army had.
Rhett had told Scarlett he loved her, right before Bonnie had made that fatal jump, He had urged them to go away together. He looked at his wife's pleading face and she looked so much like his daughter. Instead of bringing him pain it brought him peace. She was right. He had already given her twelve years of his life what was one more year. In truth he had nowhere else to go. Maybe? If she was willing to leave the South maybe, they could make it work. He knew that if he walked away, he would always wonder.
In that moment he didn't know what he felt for Scarlett. Love? Hate? He had thought he felt nothing but pity and kindness for her but when she told him she loved him, he had felt great joy. He probably felt both for this devil woman.
Furthermore, Scarlett was Rhett's baby's mother, and he could not abandon her in her moment of need. She was shattered. His indestructible Scarlett was shattered. He could not leave her. Bonnie would never forgive him if he left her mother in her lowest moment.
Rhett looked at Scarlett's pleading face. This was what he had wanted for so awfully long. Gambler that he was he took the chance. He pulled her to him and said, "I will give us one more year. We will leave Atlanta right after Miss Melly's funeral."
"Yes. Whatever you want."
"We will sell everything we own in the South."
"Yes, of course."
"Including Tara."
That made Scarlett pause, but she finally said, "Of course."
Rhett wondered how long her being compliant would last but he would enjoy it while he could. He kissed her. The same kiss he had used at Rough and Ready. The same kiss he had used when he proposed. He wondered why he hadn't used that kiss on his honeymoon or when she had wanted separate bedrooms. He dismissed the question. He was going to use it a lot more often.
Rhett stopped packing his trunk and kissed the woman he had loved for so exceptionally long. He backed her towards his bed. She had not resisted. No, in fact she had welcomed him the way he had always wanted her to welcome him.
When Scarlett had orgasmed, she had called his name much like the last time they had been together. Before she fell asleep, she said, "Please, don't leave me."
That broke Rhett's heart. His Scarlett never said please. He knew in that moment they had blown so many chances. They would not blow this one.
Even though Rhett knew she was already asleep, he said, "I will never leave you, my devil woman."
Right before he fell asleep, he thought, 'She really is a poison in my blood.'
Within the week Rhett and Scarlett were on the train out of Atlanta. Scarlett had used the money from the sale of the mills and the store to fund a trust fund for Ashley and Beau. She knew she was reneging on her promise to Melly, but she knew if she and Rhett stood a chance they had to get away from Ashley. She was now agreeing with Rhett they had to leave the South.
In the end Rhett had let Scarlett keep her part of Tara. At least, until they knew if they were going to work or not.
While they were on the train out of Atlanta, Rhett had picked up Scarlett's hand. She had smiled. Not a flirtatious smile but despite her pain a smile of happiness. She thought, 'Maybe."
Despite his pain, Rhett smiled back at his wife. He thought, 'Maybe.'
October 1873 - One Month After Leaving Atlanta
Rhett was lying in a hotel bed next to Scarlett. It had been a rough month. He guessed they were finally becoming a couple. They certainly hadn't been one in Atlanta. There had been a lot of squabbling between the two of them.
Scarlett's compliance had disappeared as soon as they had left the Atlanta train station. Rhett had been happy. He would not want a docile Scarlett.
All the pain from the last few years had not disappeared but the pain from Rhett's loss of Bonnie was so great that it had blotted out that pain. He had needed Scarlett's companionship on this awful road he found himself travelling. He had needed her to hold him together and he knew she had needed him to hold her together.
In the last month, Rhett had woken up to Scarlett crying in her sleep more times than he could count. He had woken up to find himself in Scarlett's arms and her murmuring words of comfort to him more times than he could count. Neither person ever talked about their nighttime crying jags in the light of day.
Rhett remembered their conversation about two weeks after he and Scarlett had left Atlanta. They were walking around Central Park when they saw a black haired, little girl. Scarlett grasped Rhett's hand. She said, "She died doing what she loved to do. I'm sorry for calling you a murderer. You were just trying to make her happy."
Rhett soberly said, "I was the adult. I should have protected her."
"I should have stopped you. My Pa died that same way."
"You weren't thinking straight. You were still in pain from your fall. Your fall because of my mocking comment. You still are in pain. Do you need to sit down?"
"No. I can make it back to the hotel. Rhett, I was the one that lunged at you at the top of the stairs."
"I provoked you."
With true despair Scarlett looked at her husband and said, "Rhett, stop torturing yourself."
"When you stop torturing yourself. Are you sure you can make it back to the hotel? I don't want you to overdo."
After she gave him a sad smile, she said, "Yes, my love."
Rhett and Scarlett walked some more with both of them studiously avoiding looking at the little girl. Finally, she said, "Rhett there are so many what ifs."
"Yes, there are but let's not think of them today."
"Alright."
Rhett and Scarlett continued walking around the park. It had been the first time since leaving Atlanta that they had actually talked about Bonnie. After that day they would occasionally talk about their daughter.
Rhett shook off his thoughts of the last month. He had an erection, and he was going to put it to good use. As he started kissing Scarlett, she woke up and smiled. She put her arms around his neck. To get this kind of welcome from his wife would always be worth all the arguing she put him through. Of course, he kind of like the arguing too.
1874 - One Year After Leaving Atlanta
Rhett and Scarlett had weathered the year after Bonnie's death and the miscarriage together. Rhett had found out that Scarlett had loved her child more than he knew. Scarlett had found out that Rhett had loved Bonnie so much because she was the first person to purely love him since he had been disowned.
Over the last year, Rhett had wakened up crying often and Scarlett had wakened up crying just as much. Their pain was so great, yet for once in their relationship they had reached for each other. They had comforted each other. They had accepted comfort from the other person. For once in their relationship, they had been there for each other. They had been partners. They had allowed themselves to be vulnerable in front of each other. They had risen to the occasion and provided love and comfort to each other. No one had used the other's weakness against them.
Rhett knew they had needed each other. Scarlett had been right. No one would understand his pain like Scarlett did. Furthermore, no one would understand Scarlett's pain like he would.
They had talked about Melanie Wilkes. Scarlett now understood how wonderful of a person her sister-in-law had been. She now felt guilt for all the unkind comments she had made about the woman. Occasionally when they were talking about Melanie, Rhett would make a scathing comment about Ashley. Scarlett never defended Ashley no matter what Rhett said about the man. She also never brought Ashley up in their conversations. Scarlett knew that Rhett was still bitter about her continual devotion to such a weak man. Scarlett hoped that time and her devotion to Rhett would ease that bitterness.
In the last year, Rhett and Scarlett had laughed together. The first time Rhett had laughed admittedly it had been at Scarlett's expense, but she hadn't gotten mad. She had been happy to hear him laughing. It had been far too long. She had sat there and wondered when the last time he had laughed at her or laughed at all. Not since the separate bedrooms. Maybe not since New Orleans. He had made a lot of mocking comments, but he had not laughed. They were not jokes but cruel insults. As she sat there and listened to him laugh, she started laughing also. She could actually see the humor in the situation.
Rhett and Scarlett had apologized for all the mean things they had said and done. They had talked about their daughter. They had talked about their son. Rhett had talked in a way that Scarlett could understand. Scarlett had worked at making herself better educated. She had made herself listen to what Rhett was saying. Rhett had explained things to Scarlett in a simplistic way without mockery. Scarlett had started reading books. At first the ones Rhett had bought for her but later books she had wanted to read. She had finally realized that Rhett didn't care how well-educated she was. In fact, she thought he liked her being a Blue Stocking. With that freedom she had finally let her intelligence show. Scarlett knew that Rhett was happy with her having so many things to talk about.
Rhett never made Scarlett sell her part of Tara. Every now and then she would talk about Tara but when she did Rhett knew she was talking about the Tara from her youth. Not the Tara that existed today. Rhett would ask her if she wanted to visit and she would always say, 'It is too long of a train trip.' Which he thought was funny because they were always travelling somewhere.
Rhett and Scarlett were in their New York home. They both enjoyed living in the city. It was so innovative. It was exciting. The museums, the people, the sights, the opera, the plays, and the restaurants. It was so different from living in Atlanta. It was just what they needed.
Rhett had shown Scarlett all the sights of New York, Boston, Chicago, and Niagara Falls. While in New York, Boston, and Chicago they had been invited to the most exclusive supper parties and social events.
A couple of months before after arriving home from a social event as Rhett and Scarlett were taking off their clothes, he quipped, "Who needs the Atlanta gentry?"
"Certainly not us. I haven't had to listen to one person wax on about how wonderful life was before the war in so very long. It has been wonderful."
"That certainly has been nice."
"Not having to be nice to the matrons has been nice also."
"You still have to be nice to the matrons the only difference is that you like them."
"That's because they aren't looking down their noses at me."
"No, they aren't. In fact, I think most of them admire you."
"They certainly admire my taste and style."
"I don't see how but they do."
Scarlett had swatted Rhett's chest. He had pulled her to him and showered her with kisses.
On that day in September, the couple were lying in bed together. Rhett said, "It has been a year since we left Atlanta."
"Are you happy with me?"
"Yes, incredibly happy. You were right nobody else would ever understand my pain and my guilt."
"Because I too am feeling that pain and guilt."
"I am so glad I had you with me on this horrible journey I found myself on."
"We are fellow travelers on a road we don't want to be on."
"Yet your companionship has made this journey bearable."
"Although at times it felt like we moved two steps forward and one step backward."
"I agree. I want to make another baby. I think another baby will help heal our hurt."
"Can we risk it? I don't know if I could stand us losing another child."
"You can stand it. You are the strongest woman I know. With you by my side I am ready to risk my heart again."
"Then have your way with me."
"Gladly."
