Chapter 3 – Harry v Everybody: Dawn of Ass-Whoopings
…
Kara watched with bated breath as the stand-off between Harry and the Justice League continued, tension filling the air as Batman and most of the others glared at Harry threateningly, while he simply smirked back daringly, his silver cloak dancing behind his shoulders in the breeze.
Into this silent contest of wills, an actual tumbleweed rolled down the street.
"Wait, what on Earth?"
The Flash took the words right out of Kara's mouth, and more than a few of his teammates' too, by the looks of their expressions at the Old West cliché bouncing across the big city road in front of them.
Unlike them, however, Kara had an idea where it had come from.
"Really, Harry? A tumbleweed? Now?" she asked him in an exasperation, reluctantly amused in spite of herself.
His grin deepened as, to her surprise and mild alarm, he freely broke gazes with the League and turned back to her. "It seemed appropriate," he told her as he continued to twirl the wand in his hand.
She didn't have a chance to warn him about the rookie mistake he had just made by taking his eyes off the League. Batman, not one to waste such an opportunity, had already hurled a pair of batarangs straight at Harry's head. Worse, Kara watched as if in slow motion as Black Canary braced her feet and inhaled deeply, obviously preparing for her signature Canary Cry, a directed ultrasonic scream loud enough to shatter concrete and packing enough physical force to send even her cousin crashing through walls at its peak.
Kara's eyes widened in horror as she prepared to fly into the battlefield-in-the-making, but just then, she caught Harry's gaze.
And she saw the subtle wink he gave her.
This threw her off just long enough to miss her window as Black Canary began her cry. Sonic shockwaves immediately began cracking the asphalt as her cry raced just behind the batarangs hurtling towards Red Tornado's turned back.
Kara blinked.
Wait, what?
Batman's batarangs embedded themselves in the crimson robot's metal back with two echoing "shing!"s before exploding, sending the bewilderingly misplaced League member crashing to the ground with a tinny shout, only to be immediately sent flying into the face of a building with a howl as Black Canary's cry joined the barrage of inexplicable friendly fire.
Once again, silence reigned in the street as everyone stared at Red Tornado, currently embedded in a concrete crater with no one able to process how he had gotten there.
"Hmm. Not off to a great start, are we?" Harry's amused voice sounded, sending everyone's heads whipping about to see him standing next to Black Canary in Red Tornado's old position in the lineup, a cheeky grin on his face. "Sonorus," he casually incanted as he tapped his wand on the side of the speechless Black Canary's neck.
Shocked or no, Black Canary was still an experienced crime fighter, and a master martial artist. Almost immediately, she spun and lashed out in roundhouse kick that connected explosively with Hawkgirl's mouth.
"Gaah!" the winged superhero hollered, grabbing her bloody mouth as Black Canary recoiled in shock and confusion once again.
"Oof. That looked painful," Harry remarked from the other side of Canary, where Hawkgirl had been standing just a moment ago. "Muffliato," he incanted, flicking his wand from the now wide-eyed Black Canary towards somewhere near Kara.
In an act of pure, long-ingrained reflex, Canary instinctually lashed out in a fearsome right hook, which also connected perfectly with the twice-misplaced Hawkgirl.
"Argh!" the hot-tempered redhead cried, clutching her cheek. "What's your problem, Dinah?!"
The black leather and fishnet-clad blonde staggered back from the mace-wielding and now absolutely livid woman in a horror only partly caused by the shock of her own actions.
"You know, I appreciate the assist, Canary," Harry's teasing voice came once again, this time from where he was sprawled lazily on top of a streetlight, one leg casually swinging, "but I can really handle this myself. Thanks."
The fury in Black Canary's eyes rivaled even that of the injured Thanagarian as she braced her feet and inhaled deeply, either assuming that she didn't have to worry about him switching places with a teammate from that far away, and forgetting about the still groaning and crater-clad Red Tornado in the process, or simply too angry to care.
Kara didn't give a crap, though. She had to stop things before they got even further out of hand. However, as she started to fly towards Canary, a pair of blue-clad, resolute arms grabbed her from behind.
"Kal, let me go!" she yelled.
"Kara, stop, you have to listen to me! You have to–"
Whatever else he was going to say, she never heard. Because at that moment, Black Canary unleashed her cry.
Or at least, she seemed to be doing so. Except no sound passed her lips.
Her cousin appeared to be taking up her slack, though, as with an agonized scream, the mighty Superman was torn free of her and sent absolutely rocketing through the building behind them, his hands clapped to his bleeding ears.
Once again, everyone stared in stunned silence as one of their own was taken down, this time apparently struck by Black Canary's silenced scream despite her facing in an entirely different direction at the time.
"Well how about that? Two down already," Harry commented, still casually seated on the streetlight. "How embarrassing." Almost as an afterthought, he flicked his wand and caused ropes to spring up around Canary, binding the woman tightly from shoulder to ankle and making her fall to the street with an inaudible grunt. It almost seemed pointless, though. By now, the shell-shocked superhero seemed afraid to even move without hitting one of her teammates by mistake, and the rest of the League seemed to be battling similar concerns themselves.
"Aaaawesome!" Harley breathed as she stared awestruck at her new husband, who had just taken out three Justice League members and injured a fourth without even attacking them himself.
As Kara watched, most of the League that was still standing half raised their weapons at Harry, only to hesitate as they clearly feared hitting one of their own at the last second.
However, it was the member that Kara didn't see that alarmed her, even more so when she spotted a Batman-shaped shadow on the side of the building behind and above the still lounging Harry.
With an almost silent rustle of cloth, Batman launched himself at Harry's idle form.
In a still disorienting but now somewhat unsurprising move, Batman's and Harry's places were suddenly switched, with Batman landing gracefully on the streetlight while Harry took his place in the air mid-leap. However, the tactician of the League clearly expected this, as he immediately spun and threw a prepared batarang at the airborne Harry. This was no ordinary batarang, however, as was made apparent when a crackling bolt of electricity launched itself from a small black device stuck to the building face Batman had launched himself from, passing through Harry's still airborne form as it immediately connected with the polarized batarang still flying towards him.
Of course, the lack of wincing or screaming or really any reaction at all on Harry's part was rather surprising, given the bolt of high-voltage electricity running through his body. However, this made sense a moment later when the image of Harry wavered and disappeared like a hologram.
The League's resident master of illusions and misdirection scowled furiously at the sight. Though he soon had more important things to worry about.
Such as the heavy cape he wore, which spontaneously came to life and decided its first act would be to give its father a particularly violent hug.
Batman grunted in surprise as he wrestled mightily with the living and surprisingly tenacious garment, falling from his perch on the streetlight in their struggle and colliding heavily with the pavement below, where he continued his silent battle with the violent cloak.
"Well, you know what they say," Harry's voice echoed out again, this time seemingly from nowhere. "The clothes you wear say a lot about you." Below Kara, the League members still standing spun their heads this way and that to try and find the wizard that had already neutralized four of their people, though they were most certainly not panicking. No sir. Regardless, they still exhibited both alarm and a measure of relief when he finally revealed himself in their midst with a faint warping of the air as he swept his silvery cloak back behind his shoulders.
"Right now, I think your clothes are mostly just saying they think you're an asshole, though," Harry completed with a laugh as he watched Batman struggle.
"Batman!" the teenaged Robin called out, pulling a sharpened wing-ding free and running to help his mentor, causing Kara to finally remember that he and the rest of the sidekicks were even there in the first place.
And apparently reminding someone else, too.
"HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
Robin yelped and backpedaled as Harley charged straight at him, mallet held high and a war cry on her lips. And then she was entering into the fray, hammer swinging wildly as she threw herself in without care, giving the boy wonder a surprisingly tough time, as her gymnastic talents, unpredictable nature, big-ass hammer, and … less than stellar sense of self-preservation made her an impressively fearsome opponent, even for someone trained by the Bat.
"Thanks, honey!" Harry happily called out to her.
"Yer welcome, sweetie!" she called back, grinning like she was having the time of her life.
At least, she was until the black-haired Donna Troy of Themyscira, the heroine known as Wonder Girl, joined the fight as she flew at Harley, suddenly putting the considerably outmatched girl on the defensive as Harley was forced to use her gymnastics to their fullest extent to duck and weave and cartwheel out of the way of the superstrong girl's aggressive and less than perfectly restrained attacks.
"Don't worry, love. I've got you covered!" Harry called out. At that moment, however, a red blur raced at Harry's turned back, only to veer wildly around Donna's disoriented and suddenly displaced form before continuing after Harry unabated.
Kara watched as the Flash raced after Harry, only to find the latter constantly switching out with League or Mini-League members just before the speedster struck, always seeming just a fraction of a step ahead of the fastest man alive as he switched and teleported at a rapid-fire rate.
For several moments, everything seemed locked in a stalemate. The Flash couldn't catch Harry, and no one else on his team could attack the wizard either as he appeared and disappeared like a flickering mirage, disorienting the Leaguers more and more as they were flitted about the battlefield willy-nilly when he took their places, never knowing where they were going to end up next. No one could even attack Harley Quinn, as anyone near her and Robin ended up switched and swapped before they could even get their bearings, leaving the jester and the young crime fighter free to continue their fight uninterrupted.
However, with the lightning-fast speedster on his heels, Harry also couldn't seem to do anything else other than flee.
Making this a perfect opportunity for Kara to finally try to talk some sense into the increasingly nauseated and still rapidly switching League members.
"Everyone, stop this!" she yelled. "This is all just a big misunderstanding! This fight is completely unnecessary!"
"How dare you?!" Harry cried indignantly from nearly a dozen places at once as he continued flickering about the battlefield. "All fights are necessary!"
"What he said!" Harley emphatically agreed as she forced Robin into a springing backflip to avoid her wild hammer strikes.
Kara sighed. "Alright, reason clearly isn't the going to be the way to the hearts of those two," she muttered as she watched the admittedly crazy jester and the apparently no stabler wizard, who was now giggling wildly as he flitted about the battlefield, enjoying a fight for apparently the fight's own sake. "And I'm suddenly realizing that this should have occurred to me before now," she remarked as Harley began laughing a near identical cackle.
"Give it up, kid!" the Flash called out as he continued chasing the teleporting wizard. "You can't outrun me forever. I'm the fastest man alive!"
Harry's cackling grew even louder. "I'm pretty sure they make a pill for that now!" he laughed as he continued switching with now slightly green-looking Leaguers.
"Oh, very classy!" the Flash yelled back. "Notice you're still running, though!"
"Of course I am!" he laughed back. "The longer we do this, the sicker we make your friends!"
"Wait, what?" Suddenly, both Kara and Flash began paying more attention to the rest of the League. All of them looked nearly dead on their feet by this point as they swayed and dry-heaved from being constantly teleported all over the place. "Oh, dang!" The Flash immediately stopped running after Harry and skidded to a halt.
"Aw, just another guy who's all about the chase," Harry goaded him from the center of a drunken-looking Justice League. "Tease."
"Alright, you're making me feel kinda dirty here," Flash complained uncomfortably.
"Well then, by all means, shut me up," Harry dared, holding his arms wide.
"You think I can't?" the crimson speedster called out. "I can move faster than you can even think, kid!" He demonstrated by zipping from side to side in a blink, proving that Harry wouldn't be able to tag him with a spell. "What can you do against that?" Flash challenged, folding his arms and smirking cockily.
"Lotta' things," Harry answered, looking thoughtful. "Pretty sure freezing time will do, though."
Kara's jaw dropped. He couldn't …
"Freeze what?!" Flash yelped, no longer cocky.
In response, Harry simply grinned and disappeared. Kara's gaze shot back to Flash just as he gave another yelp and collapsed to the ground, suddenly wrapped in chains that tightened even as she watched.
"Well, I guess I was right," Harry surmised, brushing off his sleeves as he stood over the immobilized crimson speedster. "That did the trick!"
While Kara stared at him in astonishment at his apparent ability to manipulate the forces of time, she found her gaze falling to Harry's reddish leather boots, as her sharp eyes caught the faint flicker of light just as it faded from the runes and symbols tooled up and down the scaled leather. Suddenly, she began eyeing the array of symbols adorning the rest of his armor as well, wondering what the rest did.
"Don't worry Flash! I got ya'!" the yellow-clad Kid Flash yelled, shaking off his dizziness from all the teleporting as he activated his own superspeed with a drunken sway.
"Kid, no!" Flash yelled out in warning.
However, as powerful as the Flash was, he was still no match for the sheer stubbornness of a teenager, and so his words went unheeded. Kid Flash raced towards the wizard and his downed mentor in a yellow blur.
Harry exhibited all the concern of a particularly bored lamp as he watched the headlong charge.
Kid Flash, meanwhile, while admittedly much slower than his mentor, still showed nothing but cocky assurance as he watched Harry raise his wand, evidently certain in his ability to dodge with his superspeed.
His expression grew confused when Harry pointed the wand skyward, however. Though Kara's attention was mostly drawn to the latter's boots as some of the runes encircling his soles began to emit a faint glimmer of light once again.
'You might want to close your eyes, love,' Harry's voice suddenly sounded in Kara's head, making her reel. Rather than listen, though, she simply stared at him wide-eyed.
A less than wise reflex, admittedly.
"Catch ya' in a flash!" a grinning Harry punned at Kid Flash just as his wand flooded the area with an absolutely blinding light.
Howling, Kid Flash clutched at his eyes in a move mirrored by most everyone present, Kara included.
Her Kryptonian ears still worked, however, meaning she heard Kid Flash trip and fall into a bouncing, skidding tumble in his blindness … and she heard the faint hum and snap of energy being released shortly after.
"Thanks fer the warnin', honey!" Harley called out just as Kara began blinking the spots out of her vision. Looking over at her blearily, she saw Harley with her eyes shut tight still wildly swinging her mallet in Robin's general direction, who was busy staggering backwards and rubbing at his eyes painfully.
"You can open them now, Harl," Harry told her in amusement.
"Oh," she replied, opening her eyes and blinking. "Thanks!" she told him cheerily before resuming her bird-squashing efforts against a now fairly handicapped Robin.
"What the crap is this?!" Kid Flash yelled in a panic.
Turning back to the downed yellow speedster, Kara's eyes bulged as she saw the boy poking at his legs, which wiggled bonelessly like leg-shaped water balloons.
"You like?" Harry asked happily. "Jelly-legs curse! Good for all occasions!"
Kid Flash poked his unresponsive legs once more. "I do not like," he informed the wizard, somewhat in shock. "In fact, words cannot express how much I do not like this."
"Face the might of justice, evil-doer!" the heavily muscled and fairly campy Captain Marvel suddenly interrupted, recovering from his nausea and flying towards Harry with an eager grin and a cocked-back fist.
Harry raised an eyebrow at the display.
"Portus," he casually responded, flicking his wand and sending two stones flying towards the reckless hero, where they both stuck to his uniform with a muted blue flash.
"Uh-oh," Captain Marvel muttered, certain this couldn't be anything good.
And it wasn't.
"AAA–AAA–AAA–ST–OP–TH–IS–CRA–ZY–THING!" Captain Marvel yelled brokenly from nearly two places at once as the stones stuck to his uniform teleported him back and forth so quickly, it looked like there were two of him standing next to each other, though each was decidedly blurry and already remarkably green-tinged.
Before Harry could respond, however, his attention was grabbed by a strange sound coming from the chained-up Flash.
"Oh, right. I forgot he could do that," Kara muttered as she watched the speedster vibrate his body fast enough to phase through the chains that bound him.
"Well, that's a twist," Harry muttered, sounding in no way disappointed as the fastest man alive escaped his trap and resumed a combative stance.
However, just as the speedster charged at the wizard once more, Harry flicked his wand at the ground, causing a strange, glittery golden mist to explode outwards, floating a foot off the ground all around him.
As the Flash touched this golden mist, his world turned upside down.
Literally.
"Gaaaah! Who made the floor the ceiling?!" the Flash cried, his legs dangling skywards while his hands desperately clutched at the pavement to keep him from falling into the sky thanks to the enchanted mist telling him up was down.
This left the speedster completely vulnerable to Harry's follow-up spell, which snapped the hero's limbs together and forced him stiff as a board as he tumbled rigidly and probably painfully to the ground, the glittering golden mist around him disappearing with another wave of Harry's wand.
"Good luck phasing out of a full body-bind curse," Harry challenged the completely paralyzed hero.
All of a sudden, however, Harry's eyes widened and he disappeared just as a powerful blast of energy destroyed the ground where he'd been standing. He reappeared on the other side of the street, only to disappear once again as a pair of crimson laser beams made another crater where he had appeared.
Kara stared as the metal-skinned Captain Atom floated in the air, his hands glowing with a fierceness matched only by his glare. And beside him, crimson cape fluttering in the breeze, was her cousin, Superman. His uniform was torn, and his neck and collar were stained with blood from his ears, but his back was straight, and his eyes glowing red.
As Kara watched, the scattered Leaguers, including an apparently recovered Red Tornado and a now untied Black Canary, regained their feet and readied themselves, in many cases shaking off the lingering nausea and dizziness from their rapid-fire teleporting as they stared Harry down, clearly readying themselves for round two.
"I guess we're taking off the kid gloves, huh?" Harry asked the Leaguers.
Nothing but stern, focused silence answered him.
Grinning, the wizard brushed his cloak free of his wand arm. "I can live with that," he told them.
"I don't suppose we could solve this with talking or something, could we?" Zatanna asked from the group of sidekicks, all of whom were also readying themselves to fight, including Robin, who had just finished tying up a gagged and furiously struggling Harley Quinn.
The horrified look Harry shot the tuxedo-clad girl at the mere suggestion said that the odds of words saving the day were exceptionally low.
"Yeah, I didn't think so," she grimaced.
"Welcome to my world," Kara commiserated with her. However, the words had barely left her mouth before her blue-clad cousin shot towards Harry in a blur, only to rebound with a gong-like sound as he struck a coruscating forcefield-like sphere that suddenly appeared around Harry.
"Confundo," Harry incanted, carelessly flicking his wand at the reeling superhero.
Kara's cousin braced himself, but there was nothing to dodge—no flash of light shot from the wand. However, he did suddenly fly himself face-first into the ground for seemingly no reason, so the spell likely wasn't a dud.
That is, unless the world's greatest boy scout was flying while drunk.
"I am a confuuuuuse!" Superman bellowed out in disorientation as he constantly found himself flying about randomly, his thoughts and powers scrambled by Harry's spell.
Kara was forced to grab a hold of her magically confounded cousin to restrain him and keep him from injuring people.
She couldn't spare him much of her focus, however, even as she strained to battle his random flying impulses. She was busy watching the fight.
Immediately after magically confusing Superman, Harry had to teleport away from another barrage of attacks from the one-man artillery, the ever-serious Captain Atom.
Evidently, Harry detected this particular quality in the silver man, just as he also clearly took issue with it.
"Cheering charm time!" Harry announced from the air behind Captain Atom, tapping him on the back of his metallic head with his wand before disappearing once again.
"He can fly," Kara noted after watching this. She snorted in exasperation. "Because of course he can," she added.
Few others seemed interested in this revelation. They were more interested in the grinning and giggling coming from the usually dour and stern Captain Atom.
This quickly escalated into full-pelt laughing as the metal man let himself fall to the ground cackling and staring at the sky dreamily, appearing for all the world like the happiest man in existence … or at least the highest.
"Now that's just creepy," Green Arrow aptly described the perpetually serious man's new giddiness. However, the others weren't exactly standing around watching their now sky-high teammate like Arrow was. They were continuing the attack.
With a mechanical whir and the sound of racing wind, Red Tornado floated towards Harry atop a brilliant red twister. Raising a slightly battered metal arm, the android sent another racing towards the wizard.
With a flourish of Harry's wand, however, the racing red wind forming the twisters was suddenly transformed into water. With another flourish, this water was forced into a massive cyclone racing around him and the android, creating a wall that shut out the others and sending Red Tornado hurtling towards the ground with a metallic shout almost buried under the sound of the roaring, racing water.
Fortunately for Tornado, he was an experienced hero, as well as a hyper advanced android, so it was no trouble for him to orient himself to land on his feet after his means of flight was stolen. Unfortunately, he was facing a wizard that could transform the world around him as he saw fit, as the android discovered when the asphalt he landed on gave like mud, forcing his heavy metal body to rapidly sink to his shoulders before the ground suddenly re-hardened, encasing and thoroughly immobilizing the metal hero.
"Vexing," a robotic complaint came from Red Tornado's head, the only part of him still exposed.
However, everyone's eyes were soon drawn to something else entirely, namely, the racing wall of water, as it was suddenly ripped from its cyclone and began flowing down the street.
Harry's eyebrows raised in surprise at this development.
"Foolish boy!" Aquaman's booming voice bellowed as the magnitude of water raised behind him like a frozen wave, the trident in his hands glowing brilliantly, much like Aquagirl's tattoos were as she stood at her king's side. "You think to wield the forces of water in my presence? I am the king of the seas!"
"Really?" Harry wryly asked the grandiose superhero. "I would have assumed you were the queen of the drama, personally."
"Oh, good. Make it worse, why don't you? That's always a good plan," Kara remarked to herself in exasperation, grunting as she fought still more of her confused cousin's random flying attempts.
The somewhat pompous lord of Atlantis narrowed his eyes at the insolent wizard while his red-haired protege sputtered in shock.
Grinning shamelessly, Harry lifted his wand and raised his focus to the towering wall of water, obviously planning to battle for control of it.
The bolt of lightning that suddenly struck his armored torso proved a rather unexpected development.
"Hey!" Harry complained indignantly as he staggered back slightly under the force of the attack, the runes across his body armor lighting up with the same teal glow of the mystical lightning bolt. Other than that and the slightly affronted look on his face, though, he seemed completely unaffected. "Wait your turn!"
The glare on the face of the red-haired, yellow-clad teen at Aquaman's side said this was considerably less reaction than she wanted, made clear when the winding tattoos around her arms glowed more brightly as she formed another lightning bolt in her hands.
Before she could finish, however, Aquaman made his move.
"Face the ocean's wrath!" he shouted, leveling his glowing trident and sending the massive crush of water racing towards Harry in a roiling wave.
"No thank you," Harry politely declined, waving his wand and creating a semi-transparent curved wall ahead of the racing tidal wave. As the rush of water passed through it, it was transformed into an enormous river of fog.
The dense gray fog quickly flowed past Harry and filled the entire street like water rushing to fill a bowl, chilling everyone to the bone and soaking everyone more thoroughly than rain. More importantly, though, it completely blinded everyone trapped within it.
In that dense, roiling gray mass, Aquaman's wordless angry shout reached them as if coming from the end of a long, empty tunnel, followed by a dull metallic clink that seemed to come from everywhere at once, given how it echoed.
"Gof eb enog!" the League's master magician, Zatara, shouted out as if to a crowded stadium, and at his magical command, the wet gray mass quickly dissipated. Before it disappeared fully, however, Aquagirl's irate voice could be heard as well as she shouted angrily.
The fog fully lifted to reveal a curious sight.
Tula, Aquaman's sidekick, was dangling upside down as if strung up by her feet, though there was nothing visible holding her. Aquaman, meanwhile, was bereft of a trident, which was impaled in the sidewalk several feet from him. As for the man himself, he was standing inside a thick golden circle drawn on the pavement around him.
Somewhat more curiously than that, however, the king of Atlantis looked like he had aged about twenty years, with thinning gray hair, pale, wrinkly skin, and a long, lanky gray beard.
"What sorcery is this?!" the man cried in horror as he touched his wizened face with wrinkly, age-spotted hands.
"Mine?" Harry suggested cheekily.
Growling, the aged king launched himself at the snickering wizard, only to find himself thrown back upon crossing the golden line of his circle. More disturbingly, with a quiet pop, he suddenly aged yet another twenty years, gaining more wrinkles and an even longer lanky white beard, and losing most of the hair on top of his head as a trade-off.
"Age lines. Versatile stuff," Harry remarked in satisfaction, to which the trapped lord of the oceans growled murderously, but impotently. Of course, his protege, the still inverted Aquagirl, remained free to attack even floating upside down as she was, and she quickly got back to work forming another lightning bolt.
Her efforts were somewhat impeded when Harry flicked his wand and sent a small bolt of light to strike her bare midriff, causing her to lose concentration as she began laughing hysterically, thrashing in the air and clutching at her stomach as if trying to shield herself from wildly tickling fingers.
She didn't seem to be particularly successful in this attempt. She did manage to throw Harry a rather potent glare, though, made all the more disturbing in contrast to the rest of her unwillingly grinning and hysterically laughing face as his spell continued to tickle her mercilessly, leaving her thoroughly too distracted to cast magic or throw more lightning bolts.
As Harry stood there admiring his handiwork, however, the top-hat-wearing Zatara decided to throw another two cents into the mix.
"Tropelet on erom!" Zatara's booming stage voice echoed out across the battlefield once again.
Harry's eyes widened as his form flickered, prevented from teleporting by the magician's spell.
More importantly, though, with his attention captured so, he didn't even seem to notice the golden Lasso of Truth falling over his form.
Which made his sudden switching with Wonder Woman just before the lasso tightened around him doubly surprising.
Wonder Woman squawked as her own unbreakable lasso bound her arms tightly to her side, her outrage growing even further as Harry tapped his wand to the enchanted rope in his hand and caused it to wrap around her completely as if alive.
Everyone stared as he walked up to the downed and struggling heroine and blew a loud raspberry at her, followed by the warrior princess grunting and straining even harder to escape her lasso.
Kara seemed to be the only one to notice the runes encircling the soles of his boots lighting up briefly.
No one else got much of an opportunity to, though, as with a bloody war cry, Hawkgirl launched herself at Harry's casual form, her electrified mace held high and her wings spread wide.
She wasn't the only one involved in this particular attack, either, as a similarly shouting Wonder Girl was hard on her heels.
In response, Harry switched places with the winged Thanagarian, once again completely ignoring the now flabbergasted Zatara's restriction as he placed himself directly in the path of the young Amazon.
"Depulso," he incanted, banishing the oncoming warrior off to the side, where she bounced and skidded to a tumbling halt near the still furiously struggling Wonder Woman.
"Ares' pasty ass!" Donna spat as she climbed to her feet. "I hate magic!"
However, as the violence-prone and somewhat less than calm Amazon tensed her legs to launch herself back at the wizard she was glaring at so furiously, someone else had something to say.
"Donna!" Wonder Woman called out. "A little help?"
Blinking, Donna seemed to notice Diana's bound form for the first time. "Do I have to?"
Her sister glared at her.
Groaning exaggeratedly, Donna ever so slowly trudged towards her restrained older sister. "You know, getting tied up with your own lasso is pretty humiliating. Maybe it's a sign you're getting slow in your old age, losing your edge. Maybe you should think about retirement. I hear Man's World has this delightful food called 'jello'. It's supposed to be really popular amongst people who have grown so old, they've lost all their teeth." She eyed her sister's face. "Maybe you should give it a try."
Diana's glare held more heat than a Kryptonian's. "I hear it is also popular amongst very small children," she rebutted. "Along with things that are shiny." Her gaze fell on her younger sister's uniform, which was jet black and covered with brightly glittering silver stars. A smirk spread across Diana's face. "You might wish to try it yourself."
Glaring, Donna simply dropped to her knees and began working at removing the lasso. As she did, however, the ground around her suddenly lit up with a flash, leaving a faint afterimage of a strange circle filled with runes in the eyes of those watching.
A warrior at heart, Donna's instincts were to roll away from the sudden and clearly magical event. However, upon trying, she found herself … unable.
"My hands are stuck," she said, frowning and pulling at her hands, which were fixed firmly to the lasso binding her sister's form. Grunting, she tried to stand. "My knees, too," she said, her legs just as inexplicably fixed to the ground.
Diana growled. "A trap!" she spat, her eyes turning to the wizard responsible. "And I was the bait!" she finished in outrage.
Donna gave a smug, reflexive chuckle at her perfect sister being reduced to the role of bait for a trap, but it faded almost immediately as she was forced to come to grips with the fact that she had fallen victim to said trap herself. She joined her sister in glaring murderously at the man responsible.
"Wizards," she spat.
"Wizards," Diana growled with just as much venom, the sisters finally in agreement about something.
As this little family moment played out, however, said wizard was a bit busy dealing with a bloodthirsty Thanagarian wielding a damn big mace crackling with electricity.
He leaped backwards as she struck at him, her heavy mace cracking the pavement where he had stood as he floated out of the way, a faint glimmer of light fading from the runes encircling the soles of his boots.
Interestingly, though, a faint circle of identically glowing runes briefly flared with light and just as quickly faded around the crater made by Hawkgirl's mace, an event Harry seemed rather intrigued by.
When he looked up, his gaze fell on the strange mace in Hawkgirl's hand, and his expression was surprised.
Just then, however, Martian Manhunter rose like a ghost from the pavement behind Harry. Reaching out, the shapeshifter extended four clawed green arms to restrain the wizard, evidently ignoring the outraged expression on Hawkgirl's face at someone intervening in what she considered her fight.
To the martian's apparent shock, however, his arms passed though Harry's form as the latter transformed himself into billowing black smoke and immediately blew past and behind the green-skinned hero.
As J'onn J'onzz whirled about to face him, Harry's form half emerged from the smoke, and he shot a silent blue spell at the shapeshifter. In a move Kara fully expected from the shapeshifter, the martian immediately went intangible, causing the spell to pass through his body as if he wasn't even there.
Of course, this also put Hawkgirl in the spell's path, but she simply batted it aside with her nth metal and exceptionally magic-resistant mace.
Harry nodded as if in confirmation upon witnessing this. However, the Martian Manhunter still posed a more immediate threat.
This time, when the martian lunged at Harry to grab him, Harry didn't move. At least, not until the shapeshifter grabbed his shoulders, proving he was corporeal. When he did, Harry simply tapped him on the forehead with his wand.
The stone-faced hero immediately fell to his knees and began drooling as he stared at nothing.
"Daydreaming charm," Harry cheerfully explained to the unresponsive martian. "Avast, ye matey!"
While several of the other Leaguers looked at the vegetative J'onn in concern, Hawkgirl simply flew over him and threw herself back at Harry with another war cry, apparently eager to continue her assault. To the surprise of both Kara and Shayera, however, Harry didn't back away. Instead, he lifted his left arm and let the sparking mace land with a loud, heavy gong on a burnished silver shield emblazoned with a great horned serpent identical to the one in Kara's new tattoo.
Hawkgirl clearly wasn't expecting such a martial response from the magic-user, leaving her open for Harry to shoulder check her with the shield, sending her staggering back. However, as Harry stepped towards her reeling form, he suddenly leaned backwards to avoid a trick arrow fired at him from the right by the team's emerald archer.
"What? She's the only one who gets a piece?" Green Arrow asked with a chortle as he nocked another arrow.
In response, Harry simply flicked his wand and transformed the man's bow into a hissing snake.
Green Arrow gave a completely manly scream as he hurled the snake away from him, and he fled in a totally tactical and in no way terrified manner when it immediately went after him.
His flight picked up in pace after he sliced the enchanted snake in half with a throwing knife, only for the two halves to reform into two identical snakes that continued chasing him.
Harry, meanwhile, was busy contending with a Thanagarian wielding an electrified mace that negated magic, and she seemed rather enthusiastic in its use as she repeatedly hammered at him with a mixture of practiced skill and simple brute force. As she did, Zatara used this opportunity to begin his backward spellcasting once again, this time causing the concrete under Harry's feet to rise up like roots to entangle his legs, or turning the air around him to jelly to restrain him, trying to leave him open for Hawkgirl's attack.
Harry demonstrated impressive skill with a shield, aptly deflecting every blow from the warrior. At the same time, however, he also smoothly countered the magician's spellwork. The runes on his boots flared with light, causing the concrete roots to turn to dust, and the wand in his hand twirled as he slid it through the entrapping air like a knife through a silk curtain, unraveling the enchantment as he spun out of the way of the shouting Thanagarian's attack.
What really raised Kara's eyebrows, though, was when he suddenly counterattacked with a bejeweled silver sword in place of his wand.
Hawkgirl's eyes widened at the sudden appearance of the kingly weapon, and the practiced and experienced manner with which the wizard wielded it. Suddenly on the defensive, Shayera made heavy use of her natural wings as she desperately dodged and flew back from his flurry of attacks, his much lighter weapon allowing him to attack far more quickly than she could effectively parry with her considerably heavier mace, especially since she lacked armor or even a shield herself to compensate.
Back and forth they went, Harry's sword lashing out in quick, surgical strikes that the experienced Thanagarian warrior only barely deflected or avoided, while she retaliated with blows from her mace. In response, her opponent smoothly deflected them with his shield or simply leaned out of their way, the comparatively cumbersome blows from the heavier weapon too easy to predict and counter with both a shield and a sword available to him. As they continued, the difference in the weight and speed of their weapons became more and more damning for the Thanagarian as she was forced completely onto the defensive, straining more and more to deflect Harry's lightning-quick sword strikes with nothing more than the haft of her mace.
Finally, Harry lashed out with his shield just as she was performing such a desperate parry, and with a pained cry, Hawkgirl found her mace tumbling free of her nerveless fingers, pain spider-webbing up and down her wrist where the heavy metal edge of the shield had caught her.
Just then, however, Harry was suddenly enclosed in a brilliant emerald sphere of energy.
"What do you think you're doing, Stewart?!" Hawkgirl demanded in a fury at her fight being interrupted, massaging her sharply bruised wrist as she retrieved her mace.
"Taking him in," Green Lantern explained as if to a small child, lifting Harry in his solid light construct. "We're not duelists, Shayera. We're the Justice League."
Her glare promised severe retaliation for his interference, a threat he clearly took seriously, given how he oh so casually floated Harry in between him and her, passing the imprisoned Harry over various incapacitated Leaguers, including an unconscious Black Canary.
Kara did a double-take upon spotting Dinah's prone form, given that the last she had seen her, the blonde hero had been cut free from Harry's restraints, and Harry hadn't attacked her since. At least, not that she'd noticed.
"What is this stuff?" Harry asked curiously as he lightly knocked on the inside of his green prison, his silver shield and ruby-encrusted sword gone as if they had never been.
"Pure willpower," Green Lantern explained smugly. "You're not going anywhere."
Once again, Harry exhibited no concern despite being in what should most definitely be a concerning situation.
"Drawing energy from your ring, and then shaping it with your imagination and force of will?" he interpreted, tapping on his prison once more as he eyed the beam of light coming from the other man's bulky ring. "Sounds kinda like transfiguration to me."
John Stewart grew very still as he looked at the grinning wizard in concern.
"Oh, this can't be good," Zatanna commented as she watched him touch his wand to the side of his prison.
As if her words were prophetic, Green Lantern suddenly began grunting in strain as Harry's face took on a look of concentration, the green light of the construct around him rippling as he fought to override Stewart's will and reshape it with his own.
Everyone watched in utter silence, afraid to do anything that might disturb one or the other as the battle of wills went on. Sweat began to pour down John Stewart's face as he strained like he never had before to maintain control over his construct. Groaning, he used his left hand to brace his ring-bearing and shaking right arm, muscles and veins popping out as he fought.
Harry, by contrast, seemed almost peaceful. His head was lowered and his eyes closed, appearing almost meditative as the light of the construct around him rippled furiously around his left hand and the tip of the wand in his right. In fact, excepting the slight furrow of focus between his eyebrows, this was the most tranquil Kara had yet seen the fun-loving and chaos-wreaking trickster.
"H-h-how … is this … possible?" Green Lantern panted in desperate, heaving breaths. Sweat poured down his face, and his jaw was clenched so tightly, he was in real danger of cracking a tooth, but he didn't pay attention to any of that. His focus was solely on the impossibility he was fighting—someone seizing control of one of his constructs.
For several heartbeats, everything remained that way, unchanging, both locked in a stalemate with neither giving ground to the other.
"Come on, Harry," Kara breathed, not even noticing her own words.
Harry's eyes flew open, and their emerald green radiance dwarfed that of the solid willpower imprisoning him.
Harry's hands snapped apart, and the construct around him shattered like a wave crashing on unyielding rock. But he wasn't done. Twirling his wand like a conductor, he reshaped the broken energy into a form more suited to his purposes.
"By Neptune's beard!" Grandpa Aquaman exclaimed upon spotting the massive green serpent, resembling something closer to a great water dragon than anything as it reared above the battlefield, venomous green eyes locked unwaveringly on John Stewart's comparatively tiny form.
"Oh, shit," Green Lantern very succinctly put his current situation.
With a ground-shaking roar, the hijacked construct attacked.
Fortunately for Stewart, he was capable of creating more than one construct with his ring. Unfortunately, the massive serpent tore through the heavy green walls he put up as if they were made of cardboard.
From there, Stewart was forced into a fighting retreat, constantly falling back as he hit the transfigured construct with everything he had. Unluckily for him, though, the serpent was still tied to his ring, so he couldn't exactly outpace it. All he could do was fight to remain free of its massive jaws for a few seconds more, every single second.
"Well, he seems good and neutralized, doesn't he?" Harry observed happily. At that moment, however, Hawkgirl flew at him with another war cry, clearly eager to return to their battle.
Harry didn't bring back the sword and shield. Instead, he simply snapped his wand at her, creating a long, arcing whip of fire that reached out and wrapped tightly around the Thanagarian's ankle. It didn't seem to burn her, but they didn't get much chance to see for certain. With one end still wrapped around the woman's ankle, Harry cracked the whip, and suddenly, a chickenhawk was left in her place, her heavy metal mace falling to the ground with a loud, metallic clang.
Everyone stared in shock and horror at the heroine-turned-animal as the new hawk screeched and flew up into the sky overhead, where it began circling high above all their earthly nonsense.
"I guess that means I finally have time to deal with you," Harry remarked, looking up at Zatara, who was currently floating off the ground on a glowing runic circle.
"How did you overcome my spell against teleporting?" Zatara demanded in frustration and confusion. "That magic was sound. It should have held you."
Harry shrugged. "I didn't overcome it, really. I just ignored it," he explained to the well-dressed sorcerer. "A ban against teleporting isn't as comprehensive as you might think." His sudden grin put one in mind of the Cheshire. "After all, there's more than one way to skin a cat." With a snap of his fingers, his grinning form faded to smoke and disappeared.
Everyone stared at the spot where he disappeared in yet another clear violation of Zatara's spell, which was designed to prevent exactly that.
With a sudden yelp, Zatara stumbled forward and fell off his floating runic circle, a grinning Harry with an outstretched boot standing behind him.
"Dad!" Zatanna exclaimed, running towards him, followed closely by Robin, the two of them the last Mini-Leaguers still standing.
Zatara clambered to his feet immediately, but despite his lips moving rapidly in a clear attempt to curse Harry, not a sound could be heard.
"Cat got your tongue?" Harry teasingly asked the silenced magician, twirling his wand casually. Before Zatara could do more than scowl furiously, however, Harry raised his wand.
"Finite incantatum," he incanted firmly, causing a brief pulse of magic to burst free from his wand, shattering the runic circle under his feet.
Cracking his neck, the floating Harry teleported down in front of Zatara.
"That is overcoming your spell," he clarified for the man.
Just then, however, the man's daughter stepped in as she prepared to carry on the magical battle.
"Dnib ym eof sa fi ni purple helmets make beavers queasy!" Zatana incanted dramatically.
Everyone stared at the clearly insane girl.
"Uh … Courts of otters sew yellow screaming bundt cakes!" she tried again, grabbing her jaw in confusion at the nonsensical rambling she was making. Eyes widening, she turned and stared at Harry in shock.
"Babbling hex," he explained with an unashamed grin before turning and walking away from the verbally neutralized and rather irate mages.
"Everyone likes cheese!" Zatanna yelled after him, stamping her foot furiously.
Her silenced father, by contrast, had a bit more than words to share with the other wizard, as he drew a black-and-white show wand from inside his jacket and pointed it at Harry's back.
Kara's eyes widened as she recognized the artifact, and remembered overhearing Zatara mention to her cousin that he had stored pre-prepared magic in it to use in situations where he couldn't cast normally, such as now.
Just as Kara prepared to call out a warning to Harry, however, the magician's eyes bulged as the street echoed with the sound of a resounding wooden thud.
Everyone stared in shock as the magician crumbled to the ground with a bloody lump on the back of his head … revealing Robin standing behind him.
"He was gonna curse ya'," the inexplicably traitorous boy wonder standing over the magician he had just knocked out explained to Harry in a thick Bostonian accent.
Kara's eyes widened upon registering that last detail. No way …
"Yeah, I know he was. In fact, I was counting on it," Harry told Batman's protege, who was standing with his hip cocked in a way that no one had ever seen him do, but which seemed familiar regardless. "But thanks," Harry continued sincerely. "I appreciate that you have my back. Even if it outed you."
Kara felt a twinge of hurt and shame at those words, though this was mostly buried under confusion and shock at what she was seeing … and what she wasn't.
"Yer welcome!" the "boy wonder" replied in a chipper tone and an eminently Harley-esque grin, a similarity that grew even further as the Robin features faded away like a mirage to reveal a grinning jester leaning on her heavy wooden mallet.
Kara joined all the rest of the League that was still standing in looking over at the Harley that had been bound and gagged by Robin earlier in the fight. And sure enough, another illusion faded to reveal a squirming and struggling Robin tied up instead.
Kara was suddenly struck with realization as she glanced at the inexplicably downed form of Black Canary she had noticed earlier. After Harry had hidden Harley behind an illusion of Robin, she must have managed to get the drop on Dinah when everyone was distracted by Harry.
"Hmm … I guess that's just about everybody, huh?" Harry pondered aloud as he gazed at the devastation around him.
With a start, Kara realized he was right. Her cousin Kal was still spastically trying to fly in random directions due to Harry's confusion spell, only prevented from doing so by her own Kryptonian strength keeping him restrained. Wonder Woman was still tied up with her own lasso, while Donna was magically stuck to the ground next to her, something neither sister seemed particularly thrilled about. Martian Manhunter was still drooling in the street with his mind stuck in lala land as a result of Harry's daydreaming charm, and the stoned-looking Captain Atom seemed much the same thanks to Harry's overpowered cheering charm. The Flash was still doing an impressive imitation of a piece of lumber due to his body-binding curse, while his nephew Kid Flash was busy poking his own jelly-like legs and looking ill. Of course, his queasiness clearly had nothing on Captain Marvel, who was still being rapidly teleported back and forth by the blue-glowing stones stuck to his uniform, and going by the vomit-stained asphalt around him, this wasn't exactly doing wonders for his stomach.
Speaking of stomachs, an almost petulant-looking Green Lantern now seemed to be trapped inside the belly of the giant green serpent made from his own commandeered lantern energy, while the upside-down Aquagirl was still cackling and clutching her sides as Harry's spell continued to tickle her. Next to her, an aged Aquaman remained huddled inside his golden "age line" wearing a sullen, irritated expression that seemed perfectly suited to his new grouchy-old-man face. On the other side of the street, Green Arrow was huddled halfway up a signpost with a tangle of snakes coiled around the base hissing at him, while Red Tornado's head peered about uselessly above the pavement entrapping the rest of his body.
The bird formerly known as "Hawkgirl" was currently MIA, having flown the coop during all the chaos of the fight, though her mace still lay in the street.
Compared to all of that madness, the unconscious forms of Robin, Black Canary, and Zatara seemed almost boring and commonplace, and the now silent but otherwise completely unharmed Zatanna downright normal, even huddled next to her downed father and rubbing her jaw as she was.
"Wow," Kara muttered in amazement. "I … guess that really is everybody." She looked at the wizard she had apparently married last night. "He just took down the entire freaking Justice League," she tried to process.
As for Harry himself, he raised his eyes to where she was still hovering over the battlefield. Still idly twirling his wand through his fingers, he shot her a beaming smile and opened his mouth to say something.
Just then, however, Kara's sharp ears caught a strange, faint sound, like something metal twirling through the air.
However, it was the wooden crack that followed that made her blood run ice cold, accompanied as it was by the wand in Harry's fingers snapping in half.
In that moment, everything seemed distant and still, even as she watched the broken half of the wand fall to the pavement with what seemed like an ominously loud clatter, followed by an echoing metallic "chink!" as a sharpened piece of black metal embedded itself in the asphalt nearby.
A piece of metal shaped like a bat.
Eyes wide, she looked over at the other side of the street, where the tattered remnants of Batman's animated cape lay in the street twitching fitfully.
Batman himself was nowhere in sight … and she only now realized that he hadn't been for quite some time.
As for Harry, he raised the broken half of the pale, knotted length of ancient-looking wood before his wide, astonished eyes.
"Fuck," he breathed.
A terrified yell made Kara's head whip to the side just in time to see Harley fall to the pavement bound tightly in black metal cord. As she did, the Dark Knight was revealed, capeless, but still wearing his signature pointed cowl with narrow, glowing white eyes.
And now, those pale, merciless orbs weren't focusing on the wizard that had neutralized his entire team. They were locked on the bound and shaking form of the jester at his feet.
… and on the high-powered grappling gun he had pointed directly at Harley's terrified face.
As if in slow motion, she watched Batman squeeze the trigger.
With an explosion of compressed gas being released, the heavy metal hook fired at Harley's face, and instead struck Harry's bracer as he switched places with her, lighting up several runes around the point of impact as the crouching wizard held his arm in front of his face defensively.
As Harry lowered his arm, however, Batman's other hand came whipping around in a fist that collided painfully with Harry's face.
Harry staggered back, blood already dripping down his chin from his split lip. But Batman didn't give him time to recover. The capeless Dark Knight immediately launched himself at Harry, only to find their places reversed at the last second.
Without hesitating, Batman spun around in a kick directed at Harry's new position, having clearly expected this maneuver. However, before he could connect, the ground around him lit up with a circle of glowing runes, and he suddenly lifted up into the air, where he began floating helplessly several feet off the ground.
As he did, light faded from a similar circle of glowing runes wrapped around the soles of Harry's boots.
… allowing shadows to once again hide the series of small metal balls on the ground near Harry's feet, dropped by Batman just before Harry switched their places.
Before Kara could shout out a warning, Batman pressed a button on his glove, and the metal balls exploded, sending Harry flying with a shout.
With another bang, Batman fired the reloaded grappling gun near Harry's downed, stunned form, embedding the hook in the pavement with a sharp clank. With a mechanical whir, the Caped Crusader was freed from his floating trap as the cord rapidly retracted, sending him hurtling straight towards Harry, who was now on his feet and looking annoyed as he raised a hand towards the Bat.
Before the wandless wizard could do anything, however, Kara's sharp ears heard the faint click of another button being pressed by the oncoming hero, causing Harry to reel in surprise as a cloud of green smoke exploded in his face, released by a small metal casing stuck to the collar of his armor when the quick-handed Batman punched him.
Before the hacking and coughing wizard could recover, Batman was on him. As the retracting cord yanked him within striking distance, the martial artist combined its momentum with his own strength as he lashed out in a spinning kick that absolutely exploded against Harry's gas-clouded face.
With another shout, Harry was sent painfully bouncing and rolling down the pavement. As he did, though, he once again half turned himself into roiling black smoke, gaining control of his tumble and floating off the ground in a half-incorporeal state as his glowing green eyes glared at the Bat.
He didn't seem to notice the small line of blood trailing down his cheek from what looked like a small puncture wound where Batman had kicked him.
A puncture wound as if from a needle built into the sole of a boot.
All of a sudden, Harry's eyes seemed to have trouble focusing. Shaking his head, he raised a half-incorporeal hand to his temple as he started to feel the effects of some unknown drugs spread throughout his system.
With a woozy look on his face, Harry's form gradually re-solidified, returning the staggering wizard to the ground, while his hand lowered to the small wound on his face, bringing lightly blood-stained fingers in front of his eyes.
Batman wasn't finished with him, though. With the sound of arcing electricity, the infamous gadget-user pounded two sparking, electrified fists together as he activated his high-voltage shock gloves.
When he launched himself at Harry's slightly wavering form, he didn't do so with a bloodthirsty shout, or with threats and promises. He did so in stony, determined silence, as if every fiber of his being was focused solely on taking his opponent down, leaving no room left for anything else.
This obsessively focused silence was far more chilling than any war cry could ever be.
And it was this very same silence that Harry displayed himself as Batman lashed out in a crushing, sparking blow at Harry's face … only for his electrified fist to be caught by Harry's unyielding hand with the smack of flesh and the sizzle of burnt skin.
Batman immediately lashed out with his other fist, but it too was caught, held unflinchingly and absolutely unyieldingly in Harry's other palm, even as smoke rose from where the sparking, electrified glove scorched and blackened the skin of Harry's fingers.
All the while, the snarling Dark Knight glared at the wizard with the merciless, inhuman white eyes of his mask. But in that moment, they paled in comparison to Harry's venomous green ones.
Leveraging Harry's unyielding grip, Batman lifted his feet and kicked Harry's chest. When he did, however, the runes of Harry's armor that were still glowing as a result of Aquagirl's earlier attack suddenly released their stored energy in a blast that sent the Dark Knight flying backwards to land heavily on the pavement, while the wizard simply stood there, unaffected.
Immediately flipping into a roll, the master martial artist regained his feet almost immediately, already spinning and hurling another contraption at Harry.
With a raised hand from the wizard, however, all of that stopped. The crimefighter froze, forced absolutely motionless by the other's power, as was the airborne freeze grenade that was already halfway to its target.
Raising his hand, Harry floated the telekinetically immobilized crimefighter off the pavement. As he did, below Harry's steely green eyes, one of the corners of his mouth quirked in a faint smile.
"Jackass," he said, snapping his fingers.
When he finally lowered his hand, what struck the pavement was no longer a man dressed like a bat.
It was a donkey.
Silence reigned throughout the street at this sight, broken only by a loud braying from the newly made jackass.
As he gazed at his new creation, the tension in Harry's face gradually bled away, replaced once again by his default teasing smile and a mischievous glimmer in his eyes as he twirled his pale, knotted wand through his fingers, inexplicably whole once again.
"Not bad," he judged the now donkey-shaped crimefighter's efforts. "For a pure muggle, anyway," he added with a shrug as he waved his restored wand at Harley's bound form, releasing her. Turning, he faced another part of the street. "What do you guys think?" he called out, gesturing to the entire street-full of madness and chaos. "How'd I do?"
Turning to where he was looking, Kara was startled to see his family still standing where they had left them. Honestly, in all the chaos, she had completely forgotten about them.
In an interesting mixture of shock, amusement, and exasperation, she noticed that they were holding tubs of popcorn and other such snacks, apparently having been standing there calmly watching the show all along.
In response to Harry's question, however, the still idly munching Sirius pointed his wand skyward. A pair of bright golden ribbons flowed out of it, rapidly twisting into a 10.
"Fair, fair," the exceedingly humble Harry graciously accepted the perfect score.
"Oh, for the love of Rao," Kara muttered, rolling her eyes in exasperation at their ridiculousness.
Next in line was Remus. After a moment's consideration, he conjured a bright, golden 8.5.
"Unreasonable, but expected," Harry slightly less graciously accepted. "Fuddy-duddy."
Narrowing his eyes, Remus immediately dropped his score to an 8.
Rolling his eyes, Harry turned to the last one in line. "And Tonks, my favorite cousin! By the way, have I mentioned how beautiful you are lately?" he shamelessly brown-nosed.
The flat look she gave him over the large bubble she blew with her gum said his efforts were less than successful. Lifting her own wand, she conjured a–
"A six? A bloody SIX?!" Harry complained in outrage. "That's total bull and you know it!"
In response, Tonks simply smirked and shrugged at him.
"Oh, we are going to have words about this later, I promise you!" the fuming teen vowed, turning back to the incapacitated League in disgust.
"A bloody six," he repeated quietly in a deeply offended tone. However, he was quickly distracted by Harley as the jester threw herself at him in an enthusiastic tackle-hug, making him stagger.
"Holy crap-snacks!" she exclaimed to him. "You took down the whole friggin' League!"
"Well, I don't know what kind of jail cells they use, but I somehow doubted they would have made a decent honeymoon destination," he told the girl, casually waving his wand at Kal, who Kara had almost forgotten she was still holding on to at this point. She nervously released him as he began shaking his head groggily, she assumed due to Harry ending the confusion spell he had been held under.
Determined not to let another pointless fight break out, she floated down near Harry and Harley, prepared to stop her cousin if he tried to start things up again.
"Oh, that's right! It's our honeymoon!" Harley realized, both her and Harry apparently unconcerned as Superman descended to the ground, shaking his head one last time as his eyes cleared. Kara, by contrast, was keeping a close eye on her cousin.
"You's gonna be gettin' so laid tonight," Harley purred at Harry, walking her fingers up his collar.
Kara whipped her head around so quickly, she got a crick in her neck.
"You're going to be in jail cells tonight," Superman interrupted, bracing his feet and clearly preparing for another round.
"Oh, you've got to be kidding me!" Kara exclaimed, walking over and poking her cousin in the chest. "Enough! This crap has gone on for too long! No more!"
"Harley Quinn is a wanted fugitive! A notorious criminal!" Kal argued, pointing at the jester wrapping herself even more tightly around her wizard. "She belongs in jail."
"Yeah, but I'm good now! Hones', Big Blue!" Harley argued as she clutched Harry. "Cross my heart an' hope ta die an' all that! I'll even pinky swear ya' on it if ya' want!" She smiled tremulously as she extended a shaking hand with a raised pinky.
Superman's stony, uncompromising glare only intensified, somehow unmollified by the jester's offer. "You're a wanted criminal," he repeated slowly and firmly. "We can't simply ignore that just because you say you're good now, even if we had any reason to believe you, which we don't." The hero's frigid stare turned to Harry. "And as for the magic-user–"
He cut off abruptly as Harry gave a sigh and reluctantly peeled Harley off him, much to her pouting displeasure, as well as a measure of visible nervousness, given how she darted behind him and peeked at Superman over his shoulder.
"Listen, Captain Underpants," Harry told the hero wearing red underwear on the outside of his costume, much to Kara's exasperation, Harley's amusement, and Kal's distinct lack of amusement, "I'll admit, I've had a gay old time of things up to this point." Harry gestured to the wasteland of insanity and incapacitated Leaguers. "Your people are a lot of fun to mess with, what with how the whole lot of you seems utterly determined to take the world as seriously as freaking possible. Plus, I'll admit, you guys have some pretty decent power, and that always makes for an interesting fight. But if you keep pushing things, I'm gonna put away the kid spells and start getting serious. If that's what blows your skirt up, then by all means, let's have at it. But I'll warn you now, you're not going to like how things turn out. That's just a fact."
"In otha' words, bring it, Supes! We'll kick yer red-and-blue butt!" Harley aptly and cockily summarized, though still poking her head around Harry's shoulders to do so.
Pausing, Harry shrugged and nodded. "What she said," he agreed.
As they finished, Superman simply stared silently, turning from the wizard in front of him, to the wanted criminal he was protecting, and finally to his annoyed and nervous cousin, who was inexplicably taking their side.
"You're dangerous," Superman accused Harry.
"Very. And more than a little stubborn, too," he shamelessly confirmed. "But I can also be reasonable," he added. "If people are willing to work with me." He turned and waved his wand at the demolished street, and the variously neutralized or imprisoned Leaguers scattered throughout it. Before their eyes, damage started repairing, scorch marks started disappearing, and all the myriad signs of the mighty battle that had just taken place there began to fade away like a forgotten dream.
More importantly, all the trapped or incapacitated members of the Justice League started to be freed or otherwise restored. Captain Marvel stopped being teleported by the stones now dropping free of his uniform, though the shaky and thoroughly sick hero still collapsed weakly to the ground. The upside-down Aquagirl was released from the magic stringing her up, and though pained laughs still weakly escaped her throat, the spell that had been tickling her seemed to have stopped.
A bird perched on top of a streetlight even transformed back into Hawkgirl, who promptly tipped over and fell to the ground with a shout in her ensuing disorientation.
All over the street, similar scenes played out as magically imprisoned heroes de-aged, or were un-paralyzed, or were released from enormous green snakes made out of hijacked willpower energy. Even the unconscious heroes began to stir as Harry continued to move his wand like a conductor, each undone spell or repaired street lamp or healing crater seeming like pieces of his symphony.
Eventually, the only signs of the battle that still remained in the street were the assembled Leaguers. Some of them were still faintly groaning from whatever Harry had done to incapacitate them, but all of them were freed and restored.
Except for the jackass formerly known as Batman.
"Ahem," Kara pointedly coughed, nodding towards the somewhat less than League-worthy donkey.
"Oh, right," Harry said as if he had forgotten.
With a wave of his wand, a cape and cowl appeared on the bemused donkey.
Kara simply glared at him, unimpressed, if not completely unamused.
Sighing reluctantly, Harry gave a final wave with his wand, making Batman reappear with a faint pop. He even removed the strangle-your-wearer enchantment on the man's cape while he was at it, too.
"Like I said," Harry continued telling Superman, "I can be reasonable." His eyes narrowed slightly. "But that particular quality goes out the window when the people I care about are threatened." His left arm reached out and gently wrapped around Harley's waist, earning a beaming smile from the now starry-eyed girl.
Kara, meanwhile, felt an unpleasant writhing sensation in her gut that most certainly couldn't be jealousy. Absolutely not.
As for the other Kryptonian present, he gave Harry a hard look, along with the wanted criminal at his side, before turning and staring out at the restored street, and more importantly, the casually freed Leaguers that filled it.
His eyes said that he got the message the wizard was sending with that particular act. He had taken them all down almost single-handedly, and he was setting them all free again because he knew he could do it a second time if he needed to. And if they went after him or Harley again, wanted criminal or not, then he would. And they might end up with more than stomach-aches and a bit of dizziness to deal with next time.
"I guess I can understand that," Superman told Harry, his eyes still hard, but the rest of his features softening.
Slightly.
"I can become fairly unreasonable too when the people I care about are endangered," Superman added, eyeing Kara, who still seemed inexplicably tied to the wizard and the criminal.
"I can certainly respect that," Harry said, clearly catching the hero's implicit threat. A new understanding made, Harry extended his hand to shake.
Superman hesitated, but finally—reluctantly—clasped the wizard's hand.
If his grip was a little crushing, well, it was difficult managing Kryptonian strength sometimes.
Kal also pointedly ignored the silent glare from several of the other Leaguers at this clear cease-fire, Batman especially.
They didn't have a chance to be upset for long, though.
Out of nowhere, the street behind the lot of them suddenly lit up with a blinding beam of thrumming golden energy, causing many of the Justice League members to aim their weapons at Harry, including Superman, who immediately backed away and began to activate his heat vision as he glared at the wizard.
After a moment, however, the golden light faded, revealing a massive army of … well, monsters seemed to be the only term that fit.
There were hulking giants covered in horn-riddled gray skin that stomped around on four limbs as thick as large tree trunks. There were smaller, man-sized creatures that seemed all spines and blades. There were tiny creatures that were half gnashing teeth and half bulging eyes. Every combination of features imaginable seemed to be present somewhere in the dense mass of creatures.
And they were all snarling and staring at the League, none of whom seemed surprised, or failing that, only seemed surprised that they were surprised.
"… You guys didn't all show up here en masse because of the three of us, did you?" Harry asked Superman as he surveyed the newly arrived army.
"No, we didn't," Superman muttered, clearly kicking himself. "We came here because we received intel about … well, something like this." His mouth twisted in annoyance. "I guess we all just got caught up in things and … forgot."
Behind the slobbering, snarling army of creatures, another wide golden beam of light appeared, which faded away to reveal another dense crush of monsters.
"Sweet Rao," Kara breathed as she took in the sight of the army.
"Awwww," Harley cooed as she gazed wide-eyed at some of snarling, nightmarish creatures as if they were puppies.
Harry snorted as he cracked his neck and hefted his wand, watching another wide golden beam deposit still more creatures before the still shaky and now nervous-looking Justice League.
"I guess I get to show you just how reasonable I can be even sooner than I thought," he remarked to Superman as he prepared to fight alongside the very same group he just so thoroughly trounced.
"How lame," he added as an afterthought.
