Author's Notes: Inspired by a plot seed that was posted on spacebattles by Lord Martiya, this fic was inspired by the fact that, as bad an impression as Shampoo makes in her introductory arc, Akane actually doesn't put her best foot forward either. Combined with the fact that Ranma is shown to be genuinely attracted to Shampoo even in her introductory arc, it begs the question; what if Ranma actually did break things off with Akane as a result of her behavior during Shampoo's time in Nerima, and how might this affect things when Shampoo returns?
Chapter 1: The Final Straw
"If I'd known you were gonna be like this, I'd've never got your memory back!"
"I wish you didn't! I wish I never knew you existed!"
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah!"
Even from her position on the stairs leading to the upper floor, Nabiki heard the sound of plastic slapping into bone as Akane smacked Ranma in the face with the kettle. Moments later, her younger sister, visibly fuming, stomped past and pushed her way up the stairs, clearly heading to her room. The middle Tendo sister sighed softly and gently shook her head.
'Oh, Akane... you keep treating him like that, and you're going to regret it... Even Buddha only forgives so many times...'
Then she shrugged and made her own way up to bed, dismissing the matter as not being her problem.
The last person left downstairs, Ranma finally tore the offending object from where Akane had done her level best to wrap it around his (well, technically her, physically, for the moment) skull. The transformed boy cast a baleful look over it, and tensed up ready to angrily throw it out over the yard... before sighing softly and placing it gently back on the table instead.
'Ain't fair ta Kasumi to take it out on the utensils... stupid jerk Akane! What the hell did I do to deserve that!? She picked the fight, not me!'
Ranma touched the already-purpling bruise spread across her cheek, hissing at the protest from the swollen, sensitive flesh.
'Sweet 'n' kind 'n' innocent girl my ass! Dr. Tofu, you're an idiot! Can't believe I was dumb enough to take romantic advice from a guy who turns into a babbling idiot when he's in sight of the girl he likes... Sheesh, Shampoo didn't do this much damage to me, even when she wanted to kill me!'
An unfamiliar pang of guilt bubbled up inside the genderbender's guts, wrapping itself around his heart like black-barbed brambles.
'Come to think of it... I think Shampoo treated me nicer 'n' Akane ever did. Man, that's messed up... well, no more Mr. Nice Guy! You think I'm just gonna take this crap, Akane, you got another think coming!'
The next morning...
At first glance, it seemed like a normal breakfast at the Tendo Dojo, with the Tendos and Saotomes sitting down to a meal, Akane idly feeding a portion of her food to her pet pig, P-chan, Soun looking at the local paper, and everybody eating. But a strange tension hung over the table; Akane was giving Ranma a sour look, which sadly was not that unusual... but what /was/ unusual was that Ranma was returning that look with equal fervor.
Finally, the last of the breakfast plates hit the table, and Akane reached her breaking point. "Why do you keep staring at me like that, Ranma? You leave P-chan alone!"
"I wasn't even looking at the pig, but thanks, Akane, you just made this easier," Ranma shot back.
Akane blinked in surprise, as did her sisters, her father and Genma, before Ranma spoke up.
"The engagement is off."
You could have heard a leaf gently wafting on the breeze in that moment... and then...
"WHAT?!"
"Boy, this isn't funny!" Genma roared.
"How dare you say that to me? What are you thinking?!" Akane screamed, bolting upright to loom over Ranma, who shot to his feet and bounced out of her reach.
"I'm just agreeing with you! You've said you don't want this engagement all along, and I'm agreeing - I ain't marrying you, not today, not tomorrow, not ever!" Ranma spat back.
Akane trembled with rage, the first flickerings of her battle aura glinting against her skin.
"You perverted jerk - what gives you the right to say that to me?!"
"The fact you've been my worst nightmare as a fiancee ever since we got engaged! I'll admit, I ain't the greatest catch in the world, but you've been an even bigger jerk than I am! Seriously, Shampoo was nicer to me than you've been, and Shampoo wanted to kill me half the time!"
"Are you seriously listening to yourself?"
"Yeah, because I'm telling the truth! Shampoo only wanted to hurt me because I humiliated her in front of her whole village - an' even then, when she had me at her mercy, she let me live because she didn't really want to hurt me! You, on the other hand, knew she was trying to kill my girl side and ya still dumped cold water on both of us because you saw she'd snuck into my bed an' you were jealous! I saved your damn life yesterday, an' how didja thank me?! By picking a fight once Shampoo was gone and trying to break the kettle over my skull!"
"When did you save my life?!"
"From Shampoo! When I told her I was really the girl-type Ranma all along!"
"I didn't need you to save me!"
"Oh, yeah?! You would have been a goner if Shampoo wanted it and I didn't step in! Even earlier that day, I told you not to pick a fight with Shampoo, but you wouldn't listen - little miss know-it-all, thinks she's invincible! Shampoo handed you your ass - the only reason you came away with a case of herbal shampoo amnesia instead of a broken neck was because Shampoo felt like being merciful! And did I ever get any thanks for it?! Not a one! You treat that damn idiot Ryoga better than me!"
"Don't you bring Ryoga into this! And it's your own fault - Ryoga's a nice guy!" Akane barked, P-chan nodding its fervent agreement.
"A nice guy?! He cut your hair off and could have killed you because you got in the crossfire of our duel! He broke into your house in the middle of the night looking for a fight!" Ranma incredulously spluttered.
"Well, it's your own fault for doing whatever you did to make Ryoga mad! I'm sure he has a perfectly justifiable reason to be so furious with you, nobody would be so determine to find you without a good reason!" Akane insisted.
At this point, Ranma visibly went red, and a pang of fear spiked through the hearts of Akane's sisters. "Issat what you think?! Well, fine!"
Faster than anyone in the room could move, Ranma snatched up a half-full cup of tea and splashed the contents all over Akane. She yelped, partially in shock, partially from a sudden massive surge in weight as something in her arms grew far heavier than it had been before, dragging her to the ground. Stars flashed in front of her eyes, and she blinked frantically to clear her vision... only to find herself lying on her chest with a mortified and stark naked Ryoga Hibiki sprawled in front of her.
"There! That's why Ryoga has been chasing me all this time! Because he was dumb enough to follow me to Jusenkyo and get cursed himself, and he blames me for it!" Ranma ranted, but his voice sounded far away and distorted, as if he was speaking underwater.
"A-A-Akane! I-I-I-!" Ryoga spluttered feebly, paling as realization visibly dawned on the youngest Tendo daughter's face.
A shimmering aura of ghostly blue flame roared into life around Akane, Ryoga screaming in a mixture of fear and pain as the youngest Tendo's battle aura scorched blisters on even his hardened skin.
"YOU ANIMAL!"
Akane screamed at the top of her lungs, and in a fit of fury-fueled ferocity threw Ryoga across the room and out into the garden. She grabbed the dining table and hoisted it over her head, clearly intending to use as a club, but the delay cost her dearly. Ryoga was no idiot, and as Akane came charging out into the garden after him, he threw aside his dignity and sprinted for the garden wall, leaping over it and then vanishing into the streets beyond.
Unable to follow, having never quite mastered the leaping abilities that Ranma had, Akane could only stamp her foot at the base of the wall and scream obscenities after the fleeing boy. But it didn't take long for her fury to find a new target in Ryoga's absence, and she stormed back to the patio with her eyes blazing, table still brandished over her head.
"You knew!" she thundered, full of righteous indignation.
"I did," Ranma replied, with an almost eerie calmness. 'After all, what good would denying it do?'
"You never told me!" she shrieked.
"Wrong! I tried to tell you! Yes, I wanted to keep his secret because I felt sorry for him! But the very first night you took him to bed, I tried to stop you! And then, when you ignored me and did it anyway, I tried to get him out of there!" Ranma shot right back.
"Oh, you mean that night I woke up to find you in my bed?!" Akane snarled, preparing to swing the table.
"That wasn't my fault! I tried to just take Ryoga and leave - he's the one who fought me! I tripped over one of your dumb weights and woke you up by accident! And even then, I tried to tell you why I was there, but you wouldn't listen - you just hit me and threw me out!" Ranma barked back at her.
"I - but that's - y-you should have tried harder!" Akane protested, rage faltering at the cold truth Ranma had thrown at her.
"I've been dropping hints every time Ryoga has shown up! Not my fault you never picked up on them!" Ranma scoffed.
His reaction only refueled Akane's rage. "Well, fine! I never wanted to be engaged to a freak like you in the first place! Don't expect to come crawling back, because I refuse to marry you! EVER!"
She slammed the dining table back down where it belonged, before sticking her nose up in the air with an indignant huff.
Finally, Soun Tendo found his voice. "Now, Akane, Ranma, be reasonable! The engagement is a sacred vow between our families!"
"I don't care! I'd rather be ronin than be married to Akane!" Ranma roared back.
A horrified silence fell on the Tendo Dojo, five sets of shocked-wide eyes staring at the defiant teenager who had dared to voice one of the most unthinkable acts of Japanese society; the severing of all familial ties.
"N-now, boy, let's not be hasty there! I mean, okay, maybe you and Akane weren't the wisest choice of couples-" Genma began in his most conciliatory voice.
"Saotome!" Soun gasped, indignant and aghast all at once.
"But Soun still has two other daughters! And he did say back when we first arrived that it was your pick! Be reasonable, son; we can understand you and Akane not working out, but you can't just call the engagement off that quickly!" Genma continued, ignoring Soun.
Ranma scowled, but inwardly his mind was racing. 'Gotta admit, I was hoping they'd drop this stupid engagement nonsense... but... I don't really wanna lose pop forever. He may be a pain in the ass, but he's all I have! An'... well... Akane's a jerk, but her sisters aren't so bad...'
Finally, Ranma nodded. "Alright, fine... if that's the case? I pick Nabiki."
Silence fell upon the Tendo household once again, before yet again...
"WHAT?!"
Ranma grimaced and probed at his ear with his pinky finger. "Sheesh, you guys are loud," he muttered to himself.
The Tendos simply stared at him in shock and incredulity - Genma, on the other hand, was simply smiling and shrugging, obviously content to consider the matter resolved at that.
"Nabiki?! Why would you pick her?!" Akane squawked, her words piercing the shock-induced fog that made her elder sister switch from gawping at Ranma to glaring indignantly at Akane.
"She's cute, she's smart, she has a good sense of humor, and she's never hit me," Ranma dryly retorted, counting off each point on his fingers.
The faintest of blushes bloomed briefly on Nabiki's face, the middle Tendo unused to being complimented, even if in a somewhat backhanded fashion. In contrast, Akane went red with anger, tears starting to roll unheeded down her cheeks.
"I... fine! Be that way! I hope you're both very happy together!" Akane cried, before storming off in the direction of the front door.
Behind her, she left disarray, as Soun burst into tears and Genma tried to comfort him, whilst Nabiki and Kasumi made themselves scarce and Ranma simply sighed and shook his head.
Lunchtime...
Nabiki took a moment to take a calming breath before she stepped out onto the roof of Furinkan High. 'Okay, keep it together, Nabiki. Yes, Ranma asked you here... but, really, how bad could it be? He's harmless, and you know it. Yes, this morning was... unexpected. But it's not like he's going to confess he's secretly been in love with you all along or anything like that.'
Confidence restored, she strode briskly up to Ranma, who was waiting over near the edge of the roof. In contrast to her cool, collected demeanor, he was pacing back and forth like a tiger in a cage at the zoo. He glanced up at her and a guilty look washed over his face.
"Oh, hey... I wasn't sure you'd show..." he confessed.
"You don't normally ask to speak to me in private. I was curious," Nabiki replied, shrugging casually.
"Yeah... look... about this engagement thing..." Ranma hesitantly replied.
Nabiki just stared at him expectantly, waiting to see what this was all about.
Ranma visibly took a deep breath, sighing softly before speaking. "I wanted to say that I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get you roped into all of this. I just... I couldn't take it with Akane anymore. I never expected the old men to drag you into this mess."
"You forgot just how obsessed our dads are with this promise they made," Nabiki pointed out.
"I know... look, I just... I wanted to tell you that I'm not gonna try nothin', okay? I know you don't want this, an' believe me, I respect that! Just because the old men think we're engaged, doesn't mean I'm gonna try and make you act like my girlfriend, alright?" Ranma gave her a look that was somehow both pleading and apologetic at the same time.
Despite everything, the clumsy sincerity in Ranma's words removed a weight from Nabiki's shoulders that she hadn't even noticed was there. She felt so relieved that she actually fell back on old habits...
"Aw, does this mean you were lying when you said I was cute this morning?" she teasingly complained, pouting mournfully as she did so.
Ranma looked ready to panic. "No! I didn't! I wouldn't! I just - I just-!"
Nabiki couldn't hold it back anymore, and she burst out laughing. "Oh, Ranma, you are too easy to tease! Seriously, I'm not afraid of you - I know you're not like those losers who kept trying to beat Akane up for a date, even if she couldn't quite see it."
Ranma visibly drooped in relief, sighing hugely. "Thanks, Nabiki... Akane's gonna be hard enough to live with now... I couldn't take it if you hated me too."
"Careful, Ranma, or people might think you actually like me," Nabiki playfully chided.
Ranma snorted at that. "Don't worry, the old men made me learn not to do that stuff with Akane... But, yeah, I just wanted to reassure you that I won't be bugging you for dates an' stuff like that - I know you wouldn't go out with me if ten million yen an' yer life depended on it..."
"Oh, please, melodramatic much? I can think of far worse guys to go out with than you," Nabiki scoffed. "Kuno-baby, for a start..."
Ranma looked visibly surprised at her words, and then, to Nabiki's surprise, he actually smiled a little. "That might be the nicest thing I've heard you say about me..."
"Well, don't get too used to it. I have a reputation to preserve," Nabiki playfully warned him, gently wagging a finger in mock-reproach.
Ranma actually laughed, and Nabiki smiled. Unbeknownst to them both, the same thought occurred to them simultaneously...
'Huh... maybe it won't be so bad to pretend to be engaged for a while after all...'
Meanwhile...
Shampoo stood at the bow of the ship she had purchased passage on, staring out over the waters of the Sea of Japan as it sped her on her way back to China and sighing forlornly.
'So long I traveled and hard I fought, and for what? Nothing! I should have slain that redheaded vermin... but I just could not bring myself to do it. Those eyes... they were my beloved's eyes. Oh, how could fate be so cruel as to present me with the man of my dreams, only for him to be naught but an illusion? Great-grandmother, I almost welcome your punishments, for at least once they are complete, I can benefit from your wisdom...'
Chapter End & Closing Notes
And that's our setup done. I can't guarantee when I will return to this universe, or even if I will - although if there are plenty of reviews asking for a continuation, I will definitely make one. As for the future of this timeline... well, the core of it will be Ranma/Shampoo, but I'm not keeping Nabiki off the table entirely either. Ranma just seems to work so much better with two (or more) of his would-be girlfriends to me. I hope you enjoyed this fic and found the idea intriguing!