"Mom should adopt both of you and then we wouldn't need to run around so much," Buffy said, as she snuggled between her lovers, cuddled beneath the blankets.
"Then you would both be my step sisters," Xander pointed out, "and while there is porn made of that kind of situation, in real life society frowns upon it."
"Only when they are much younger than we are," Willow said. "Well, more than they frown on teens having sex in general I mean."
"How much porn have you watched?" Buffy asked.
"Not that-" Xander began as Willow blurted out, "Somenotalot!"
Xander and Buffy turned to look at Willow who blushed bright red, clearly visible even in the dim light coming through the two small windows.
"If I'd known you liked porn I'd have shared mine with you," Xander said with a grin while Buffy giggled.
"You could have been hanging out with Xander and watching porn together for years," Buffy teased her.
"Not that long," Xander said, amusement in his voice, "I didn't really have more than a few Playboys until a year or so ago."
"What happened a year ago?" Willow asked, trying to guide the subject away from her own porn viewing habits.
"I worked at Rory's with Jessie over the summer," Xander replied.
"At the wrecking yard?" Willow asked. "Why would that change things?"
"We had to clean out the vehicles before they went into the crusher," Xander replied.
"People keep porn in their cars?" Buffy asked with a frown. "That doesn't sound right."
"Vehicles that are taken to the wrecking yard are often used to store assorted crap before they decide to dump them," Xander explained. "We found boxes of old magazines and video tapes along with a surprising amount of Polaroids."
"That's crazy," Buffy said. "You'd think they'd at least clean them out before sending them to be scrapped."
"You'd think that, but no, they actually fill them with anything they want to get rid of but don't want the trashman seeing," he said with a shrug. "There's probably a sociology paper in that."
The two turned and just stared at him.
"What?" he asked.
"That isn't something we expected you to say," Buffy offered.
Xander chuckled. "According to the IQ test I was given I'm very good at pattern recognition, but not math," he told them with a shrug, "and patterns are everywhere."
"So is math," Willow assured him.
"Not to me, I am math blind," Xander said with a grin.
"That's not a thing," Willow told him.
"It so is a thing," he said mock pompously, "it's like being color blind but to math."
Rather than argue she started tickling him, which quickly led to the three of them attacking each other while laughing loudly in a three way battle.
*knock*knock*knock*
"I'll get it," Xander said, rolling out of bed and turning on the lantern.
"Jadis is gone, the wolves are probably scattered by now, I wonder who it could be," Willow said.
"Jehovah Witnesses," Buffy told her, "they're everywhere!"
Xander put on his peacoat and slipped a can of mace into his pocket, before removing the two four by fours and unlocking the deadbolts. He cautiously opened the door and stared. "You guys wait right there, I need to put on some pants and straighten up." He closed the door. "Girls we have underage visitors and royal ones at that, you might want to put something on."
"Royal? Lucy and her siblings?!" Willow exclaimed before quickly jumping up and getting dressed.
"I should have reread the books, I barely remember them," Buffy complained as she pulled on pants.
Xander slipped on sweats before straightening up, putting some more coal in the fireplace and picking up any clothes that had been scattered about.
"Where's my brush?" Buffy asked, digging in her backpack. "Found it!" She vanished into the bathroom while Willow made the bed.
"Looks decent," Xander decided as he looked around. "Let me know when you girls are ready."
"It'll just take me a minute," Willow said, as she straightened her sweater and ran her fingers through her hair.
"Ready," Buffy said, coming out of the bathroom and tossing her backpack into a corner.
"How do I look? Do I look alright?" Willow asked nervously.
"You look beautiful," Buffy said, giving her a kiss.
"You girls ready?" Xander asked.
"Ready," they called out.
Xander opened the door, revealing the four Pevensie children, Mr Beaver, and Mr. Tumnus the satyr. "Come in," he said, waving for them to enter.
"Why weren't you wearing pants?" Edmund asked.
"Lucy!" Willow and Buffy squealed on seeing the youngest Pevensie and squished her in a hug.
"Edmund!" Peter hissed, chiding his younger brother on his lack of manners.
"Pay him no mind, he's only ten," Susan said, making excuses for their younger brother.
Xander shrugged. "It's no big secret, we were in bed and weren't expecting visitors."
Mr. Beaver looked around curiously, obviously nervous.
"Relax," Xander told the anthropomorphic animal, "since you won't be trying to drag me off anywhere while I am trying to sleep I won't have a problem with you."
"I'd think you'd at least wear pajamas," Edmund said as Xander closed the door behind them.
"I've never seen a lamp like that," Peter noted, trying to draw attention away from his brother's rudeness.
Xander looked over at the electric lantern. "We're from a different Earth than you," he told him.
"Can you put my sister down please?" Susan asked the two girls.
"Never, Lucy rules!" Willow exclaimed, making Lucy laugh.
"We know your entire story," Xander offered as Susan talked Buffy and Willow into releasing her little sister. "So, what brings you by?"
"We wanted to offer our thanks for your assistance," Peter said, "the explosives you provided were extremely effective."
"We were happy to help," Xander replied. "If Santa hadn't told us that Aslan had requested we not interfere, we would have come in person."
"Yes, I'm told you are a fearsome warrior," Peter said.
"No, Buffy is a fearsome warrior," Xander said, "I'm just decent."
"Buffy?" Mr. Tumnus asked.
"Sorry, forgot to do introductions," Xander apologized. "I'm Xander, this is Buffy and Willow, we know who you all are."
"Your sisters?" Edmund guessed.
"Girlfriends," Xander said, causing the childrens' eyes to widen.
"How does that work?" Edmund asked.
"Edmund," Susan groaned.
Peter winced. "Please forgive my brother's inquisitive nature, he hasn't yet realized there are things you simply don't ask people."
The teens laughed.
"We are almost impossible to offend," Buffy assured them.
"You are years too young for me to answer you," Xander told Edmund.
"Why are warriors of such skill here?" Mr. Tumnus asked, changing the subject. "And why do you age so quickly?" It was obvious that those questions had been on the minds of the forest's residents for quite some time as Mr. Beaver leaned forward as well, eager to have the mystery solved.
"I found my way here when I was Susan's age," Xander said, "and time doesn't work the same way at home as here, so it just appears I'm aging quicker as I come and go all the time. We come here to heal and relax in between our own nightly battles at home."
"Nightly?" Edmund asked. "That sounds horrid."
"It is," Xander agreed, "but someone has to do it and luckily that's us."
"Yeah," Buffy agreed, with a small smile.
"So your country is at war?" Peter asked.
"Our hometown was built over a Hellmouth," Buffy explained, "and it is exactly what it sounds like. We spend most of our time, when we aren't in school, hunting vampires and demons."
"Shouldn't the army do that or at least the bobbies?" Susan asked.
"If the world at large learned about vampires and the like it'd be just as bad as the Hellmouth opening," Buffy said with a sigh. "There would be panicked lynching of innocent people and groups looking to interfere with things that really shouldn't be messed with. I'm told humanity isn't ready to know what's in the shadows just yet."
"Are three warriors really enough?" Mr. Beaver asked. "A world is a big place."
"We aren't alone and there are others doing their thing across the world," Buffy said thinking about the little they'd heard from Giles on the subject, "but we are the ones who guard the Hellmouth."
"And we kept trying to drag you off when you didn't need nor want our help," Mr. Beaver realized.
"And just wanted to sleep and relax," Xander added. "I went easy on everyone because I knew how this story would go and that The Pevensies were the ones who would save everyone. I'm not egotistical enough to think I could replace the four of them by myself and I didn't want to interfere so I wouldn't accidentally screw things up."
"They want us to rule Narnia," Lucy blurted out, revealing why they were actually there. "We aren't sure what to do."
"We are a bit young," Peter said, "and have no experience in ruling."
"You'll do great," Willow assured them, "we've seen it."
"I was hoping you knew of a way for us to return home," Peter said.
"Our family is going to go spare and think the Professor killed us," Susan worried.
"Time works differently in Narnia," Xander assured them, "the moment you get home you'll find no time has actually passed."
"And you will eventually get home," Willow added.
"We can't say too much because we know things go great without our involvement which they may not if we try and help more," Buffy said, before laughing. "Feels weird to be on this side of things. I can see why seers usually just leave cryptic clues and fu-frick off."
"So we can stay here as long as we like?" Edmund asked excitedly.
"You can," Buffy assured them. "When you get back it'll be like you never left."
"That is such a relief," Susan said with a smile, "I was so worried."
"So… you can see the future?" Peter asked curiously.
"No, someone who could see the future told us," Willow lied, thinking of how she would feel if someone told her that her entire life was known to an entire world.
"They were a great storyteller and it was a fantastic story," Buffy added, going along with Willow's lie.
"Where did you get those wonderful flame starters?" Mr. Beaver asked.
"Working for my uncle," Xander replied. "I ended up collecting a bunch of them and it seemed like you guys could use them. I think I still have another box somewhere in the back room."
"They came in very handy," Peter said gratefully, "using the bottles you sent, we broke up several charges and shattered their front lines."
"The crossbars on the spears also did a wonderful job of keeping the wolves at bay," Mr. Beaver said.
"I'm glad we were able to help," Xander said. "I wish we could have done more, but we did promise not to interfere unless someone knocked on our door."
"And I knocked on your door, allowing you to give me some advice and weapons," Mr. Beaver realized.
Seeing the two youngest eye the table full of Christmas treats, Willow waved. "Go ahead," she told them. Causing the two children and the Satyr to hurry over to the table and get handfuls of cookies and gingerbread.
"Would you be able to help us rule?" Peter asked.
"We've also never ruled a country," Xander told him, "plus…"
"We're going to be spending most of our time pantsless," Buffy added, causing everyone to turn and stare at her.
"True, but I was trying to subtly hint at our short lifespans," Xander said.
"I'm already double the usual lifespan of a called Slayer," Buffy said with a sigh, "and normal humans probably die even faster."
Xander waved that off. "I'm not worried about that, since we are working together and not alone I'm sure we'll set records. No, I mean because of the way time works between here and home we'll die of old age before Edmund hits sixteen."
"Yeah, and we can't exactly hang around all the time or our reflexes would dull and that's a death sentence in Sunnydale," Buffy agreed.
"I think you are both overestimating it," Willow told them, "but we really shouldn't interfere since we know that they'll do a great job without our interference."
"Really? You're sure?" Peter asked, a hopeful look on his face.
"Oh yeah," Willow assured them, "you guys are all known as great rulers. You grew up in the modern world, you know more about ruling than anyone local would just from what you've learned in school."
"They wouldn't know about the Magna Carta or anything," Edmund mumbled around a cookie and was quickly chided by Susan for his lack of manners.
"A council of some kind would really help," Peter said thoughtfully, "it wouldn't be the House of Lords, but it could serve the same function."
"See? You guys already have things well in hand," Buffy said with a smile, "just trust in yourself."
"Would you like to join the council after we've formed it?" Peter asked.
"No," Willow said firmly, "if we did that we would be interfering."
"Yeah, you guys are supposed to be in charge for a reason and we are just here to rest and heal," Buffy said.
"Besides, you'd make us wear pants far too often," Xander joked.
"Xander," Buffy groaned, smacking him in the shoulder.
"He's right," Edmund said, "I'm already trying to figure out how to get Mr. Tumnus to wear a shirt."
"You'll have to make it a royal decree, I've been trying to get him to wear a shirt for years," Mr. Beaver said.
"Hey!" the satyr complained.
Beta by: Abyssal Angel & Mist of Shadows/Rainbows