Jaune and Courage the Cowardly Dog
Chapter 92: House Calls
Other Side of the Middle of Nowhere
We see a very ornate house on the far side of the Middle of Nowhere. However, despite its elaborate appearance, it was in shambles and showed signs of no one ever caring for it. Furthermore, a lonely guy made the house his home.
"So, what's for dinner tonight?" He wondered as he looked around his living room. "How about sardines? Yes, I love sardines. The perfect way to celebrate my liberation from loneliness."
Inside the room, we can see that the man's living room was messy and falling apart, with pieces of the wall all over the floor. However, the man paid little heed to any of it as he made his way to something covered in a sheet.
"Finally, after years of being alone in this-this house, I have the answer to my prayers."
With a swift yank, the man revealed that an antique record player was under the sheet. But while the man smiled, the muffled cry of someone or something else said it didn't like it. When he heard the cry of disapproval, the man became annoyed.
"Complain all you want. I'm tired of being alone with you." The man said, shaking his fist before pointing toward the wall. Strangely, the wall let out another disapproval moan while the wallpaper became even more torn. The man then turned the record player around and moved it toward the window where he opened it. "It's taken years, but I've perfected my latest invention."
Ready to be finally free from loneliness, the man returned to the record player and turned a knob.
"By this time tomorrow, I, Dr. Gerhart Von Oberson, will finally have neighbors." Ignoring the loud and furious crying of the walls, Gerhart moved the stylus onto the record. And at first, nothing strange happened, but that quickly changed when two streams of musical notes emerged from the flaring horn. The music streams left the property and headed towards the nearest neighbors.
Farmhouse 6 A.M.
"How does this sound?" Flint asked before playing another song on his trumpet.
"I like it." I answered as I tried to catch my breath while sitting on the couch.
"It's nice, don't get me wrong. But I think it could be more upbeat." Neon said as she continued to skate around while leaving a colorful semitransparent trail behind her.
You might be wondering what was happening. Well, it is simple. I am with Flynt Coal and Neon Katt, who were helping me finalize some parts for the wedding. Neon is teaching me to dance while Flynt and I come up with some music for the wedding. While I knew how to dance, I am extraordinarily rusty in any formal dance. As for the music, while we still panned on having Weiss and Carmen sing, we still needed music to accompany them. And Flynt, a master at music, although I partially attribute that to his semblance, offered to perform at my wedding.
But all this raised another interesting question. And that was how I knew Flynt and Neon, who were students at Atlas Academy. Again, the answer is simple. We met years ago while I was working for my old boss at the diner. After some talking and pranks, we became instant, great friends. Well, I became a great friend to them, but to me, they were my only friends.
We stayed in contact with each other throughout the years but, unfortunately, it did not last. They went to train at Atlas Academy while I studied at Beacon Academy. And while this made it harder to communicate, we managed to make it work. Yet that all changed after I threw away my scroll after Ozpin expelled me from Beacon. While I could get most of my old contacts transferred to my scroll, I couldn't get theirs. For a while, I was tempted to ask Weiss or Winter and see if they were willing to get me their information. But, as fate would have it, just as I was about to think of another way to reach out to Flynt and Neon, we crashed into each other while I was shopping for a new tuxedo. And after a loud reunion and greeting, we began to catch up with each other on everything that had happened. Although, it did take them meeting Courage and seeing what he is capable of to believe me. But strangely, both Neon and Flynt were able to understand him entirely.
"Neon. This song is for the ceremony. Once we're done with this, we can move on to the more lively music." Flynt said as he put down his trumpet.
"I still can't believe Jaune is getting married. And to a Storm Goddess no less." Neon excitedly said before getting shushed as Muriel and Courage were still asleep.
"He certainly came a long way since we first met him."
"I remember how awkward he was around others and how dense-headed he was when it came to those girls flirting with him."
"Hey, I'm right here, you know." I said, slightly annoyed but smiled and happy nonetheless.
"We know. Just some harmless teasing. But I have to ask, do you have everything set?" Neon asked, curious.
"More or less. A few things still need to be set, but everything is pretty much done. Although, I still need to get the tux and a few other minor things."
"I'm pretty sure Coco Adel can make a tux for you. She can even put the Bagge family emblem on it if they have one." Flynt suggested before taking out his scroll to contact Coco presumably.
"An emblem, no, they don't have one. But Muriel does have a secret family kilt that we could use as a substitute." I answered.
"Oh, what are you two going to do after the wedding?" Neon asked.
"Well, we're going on a honeymoon, although we are still deciding on a location."
"And where are you going to live? Here or where Iris lives?"
"Partially in her domain and partially here in Nowhere. But not in the farmhouse. I'm talking with the city about getting permits to make our own home from scratch."
"Nice." Flynt said as he put away his scroll.
"But that's enough talking. We need to get back to practicing." Neon said as she pulled me to my feet. Nodding, I shook my legs to get some tension out before we resumed our lesson. But before we could start, we heard a strange musical sound coming from outside. And judging by the sounds of Courage mumbling, we knew he heard it too.
"Uh, Jaune. Do you know anyone that yodels at this hour and this high of a pitch?" Flynt asked as the sound of someone yodeling grew louder. But before I could answer, we fell to the ground by a sudden jolt we were not expecting.
"OOH! AHHH!" Muriel screamed from above us before we heard a crash.
"What's happening?!" Neon asked as the house kept rocking.
"I don't know." I said, confused while also trying my best not to get motion sick.
"You guys might want to take a look at this." Flynt said as he looked out the window. Getting up, we walked over to him, and what we saw shocked us. Well, what we saw shocked Neon and Flynt, as I was only mildly surprised at this point.
"Somone's moving the windmill." We heard Eustace say as the windmill came in and out of view.
"Wow, you weren't kidding when you said Eustace's an idiot." Neon commented.
"It isn't the windmill moving; it's us." Muriel said, scared and shocked.
'OOOOH!' Courage screamed.
"Oh, I think I'm going to be sick." I said, feeling my stomach churn.
"Me too." Neon said, with her cheeks gaining a light tint of green.
"Where do you think the house is taking us? And who made the music take us there?" Flynt asked, fairing only slightly better than Neon and me.
"I have no idea." I answered.
"I just hope it's soon."
Ten Minutes Later
"Oh, thank, Oum. It's over." I said as I wiped my mouth clean after vomiting into the bin.
*Knock Knock*
"I wonder who could that be? Be right there." We heard Muriel say.
'Hopefully, they are all right.' I thought as the trip here was extraordinarily bumpy and nauseating.
"Do you think the person knocking is the same one who made the music bring the house here?" Flynt asked as he stood up on shaky legs.
"Maybe." I answered.
"Are you all alright?" Muriel asked as she reached the bottom of the stairs and observed the damage.
"We're fine." Neon answered.
"Still nauseous but otherwise fine." I added.
'Who could it be knocking, though?' Courage asked, curious as we made our way to the front door.
"Still can't believe we can understand Courage." Flynt said, still trying to process it.
"Oh, look, everyone. We have a visitor." Muriel said as she opened the door to reveal a man wearing a suit also carrying a basket filled with sardine cans.
"Hello." We all nervously said, although that could be partly to us still feeling queasy.
"Welcome to the neighborhood." The man said, smiling.
"Neighborhood?" Neon, Courage, Flynt, and I asked, surprised.
"We have neighbors; why, thank you." Muriel said as she accepted the gift of sardines. But before she could take it, Eustace grabbed it.
"Don't wait for a tip." He said before slamming the door shut. "Heh, heh, heh, heh."
"That was so rude." Muriel chastised.
"Extremely rude." Flynt and Neon agreed, glaring at Eustace. The only reason they hadn't attacked him as the others did was that I told them not to do so. Walking over to the door, we opened it and noticed the man looking dejected.
"Sorry about that." Flynt said.
"Yeah, don't pay attention to him." Neon added.
"Anyway, can we help you?" I asked.
'Don't forget to ask him about what could have brought us here.' Courage reminded.
"I am Dr. Gerhart Von Orbison-"
"A doctor?!" Muriel interjected excitedly.
'Perhaps he's better than Dr. Vindaloo?' Courage asked.
"That's not a particularly high bar to beat." I said.
"What bar to beat?" Neon asked, curious.
"Courage, and I will tell you another time."
"Eustace, we have a doctor for a neighbor, wherever we live now." Muriel said, looking around.
'I don't trust him, though.' Courage whispered while glaring at Dr. Gerhart.
"He seems nice, though." Neon said.
"Remember, Neon. Looks can be deceiving. And from what Jaune told us, nothing here is what it seems." Flynt reminded.
"YEAH! GOT A DOCTOR'S KNIFE TO OPEN THIS WITH?" Eustace asked/mocked.
"I'm sorry, sir, but-"
"THEN WHAT GOOD ARE YOU!?" Eustace shouted before slamming the door and leaving the living room.
"Sorry about that, Dr. Gerhart." Neon said as Flynt opened the door.
"Yes, I'm terribly sorry about Eustace's behavior, Dr." Muriel added.
"Please, call me Gerhart." Gerhart introduced himself, smiling.
"Gerhart, would you like to come in?"
"Why, thank you."
"Uh, anybody else hears that?" Flynt suddenly asked.
"You mean the low moaning followed by what seems like crying?" Neon asked.
"Yes."
'I was hoping I was only hearing things.' Courage said as we stepped outside the house to see what was making the noise. However, we became shocked, with Courage's eyes popping out of his head, when we saw a creepy, ornate house surrounded by a menacing-looking fence. And above the house were dark, grey clouds angrily circling. 'AAAAHHHH!'
"Why did it get dark all of a sudden?" Flynt asked, never taking his eyes off the swirling clouds.
"I don't think I want to stay and find out." Neon said.
"Me neither." I agreed as we entered the house but did not close the door.
"Would you like some tea, neighbor?" Muriel asked. Turning to them, we noticed that Muriel had a cup of tea in her hands, and Gerhart was sitting on the couch.
"That would be delightful, neighbor." Gerhart said, taking the tea and chuckling along with Muriel. But the sounds of moaning drew our attention from them.
"I think we should investigate the house." Neon suggested.
'As much as I don't want to, we have to find out what's making that noise.' Courage agreed.
Knowing Courage was right, we exited the house, closed the door, and made our way to the mysterious house. Although, Neon, Flynt, and I had to dig our way underneath the fence as we were too big while Courage stepped through the gaps. Once on the other side, we quietly made our way to the house's porch and stood next to the window shutters. And after double-checking to ensure nothing noticed us, we moved in front of the window shutters. But before we could open them to look inside, the shutters suddenly flew open, sending us flying into the air and crashing into the side of the farmhouse.
"Ow." We all groaned as we stood up.
"Is everyone okay?" Flynt asked.
"Fine." We answered.
"You okay, Courage?" I asked when I noticed that he was inside the wall of the farmhouse.
'OOOHHH!' He muttered before freeing himself. But because he was high up, he fell to the ground. Luckily, Neon caught him before he hit the ground. 'Thanks.'
"Can't miss a beat." She said, nodding.
"We better inform your folks about this, Jaune." Flynt said as he adjusted his hat and glasses.
"We can try, but they won't believe or misinterpret what we tell them." I said, recalling all the other times Courage and I tried to warn Muriel and Eustace but failed.
"Can't hurt to try." Neon said.
"Alright." I relented with a sigh. We then rushed back inside the house while ignoring the moans and cries coming from the other one. Once inside, we closed the door and ran to where Muriel and Gerhart were conversing.
"You don't wear those glasses when you operate on your patients, do you?" Muriel asked, curious.
'House. House. Strange noises.' Courage said, running up to Muriel and tugging on her apron.
"Actually, I'm a doctor of sound." Gerhart corrected, surprising us.
"Uh, did you know there were sound doctors, Flynt?" Neon asked, curious.
"Um, I know of sound physicians that make films to help patients with their conditions. I also know of people who call themselves musical doctors, but they only fix musical instruments. But other than that, I never knew there were actual sound doctors." He answered.
"A sound doctor. How unusual." Muriel said while Courage gnawed on her boot.
'LISTEN! LISTEN! Strange house. Strange noise.' Courage said, shaking Muriel's arm to try and get her attention before moving to tug on her hair.
"Do any of you know how to play the piccolo?" Gerhart asked.
"No, but you can teach me." Muriel answered.
"I do. But only a little." Flynt interjected.
"And perhaps I can teach you to play sitar." Muriel offered.
'House. House. Strange...sounds. Ah! Ah! Ah! OOH!' Courage said, shaking his hands before panting and falling to the floor in exhaustion.
"Uh, Muriel." I said, getting her attention.
"Yes, what is it-" She began but stopped when we heard someone furiously pounding against the door. "Oh, my. More neighbors. Hold that thought, dearie. Be with you in a second."
"Why don't we-" Flynt began but stopped when Muriel opened the door to reveal Dr. Gerhart's house was the one who knocked. It even let out a combination of a moan and roar. The window shutters strangely resembled a pissed-off look.
'AAAAHHHHH!' Courage shrieked, his head momentarily separating from his body by the neck.
"Oh, this can't be good." Neon said while she and Flynt got out their weapons. Although, they were uncertain how effective they would be as they had never gone against a seemingly sentient house beforehand.
"Doctor. I don't want to seem unneighborly, but your house seems to be very upset." Muriel said, unaware of how tense the situation was becoming.
"She's doing it again." Gerhart said, visibly distraught.
"She?" I asked, confused.
"Care to elaborate, Dr. Gerhart?" Flynt asked.
"I've been so lonely for so long. Years ago, I used music to bring my house to life...To have a friend." He began.
"Oh, my." Muriel said, surprised.
"So you make music that has different properties or abilities." Neon said, realizing what Gerhart meant by being a sound doctor.
"Precisely." He said. "But she has never been very good company, and she's very jealous."
'I can see that.' Courage said, shivering when the house moaned/roared again.
"She wants me to come home." Gerhart translated. Turning back to the house, we noticed that the doors were now open with a long rug coming from the place. Once inside the farmhouse, it smacked all of us to the side and wrapped around Gerhart. It then dragged him back to his home; all the while, Garhart struggled and screamed. "NO! DON'T! PLEASE! WHY CAN'T I HAVE NEIGHBORS!"
"That was something." Flynt said, unsure of what to say.
"It was. But something tells me we should probably head to cover." Neon added as the house's moaning turned more aggressive. And she was correct as not a moment later, the other house used something to hit our home.
"WOAH!" We all shouted, struggling to stay on our feet as the other house continued to hit our home.
"GET OFF MY PROPERTY, YOU BIG STUPID-OOH!" Eustace began, running to the window. Only for Gerhart's house to hit him with a 2x4, sending him flying and crashing into the wall.
"Something tells me that's far from the worse in the other house's arsenal." Flynt said as we heard the sound of a rooster crowing. And a moment later, the wind vial came crashing through the front door.
"RUN!" I shouted as the vial gave chase.
Dr. Garhart's House
"PLEASE! STOP IT! STOP IT!" Garhart pleaded with his house as it pelted rocks against the farmhouse. Yet, it fell on deaf ears.
Farmhouse
"NEVER MISS A BEAT!" Neon shouted as the wind vial chased after it but failed to catch her.
"NEON! OPEN THE CLOSET!" Flynt ordered. Neon nodded and led the wind vail to the closet after opening it. Once the door was open, Flynt activated his semblance and played his trumpet, creating a soundwave that stopped the wind vial dead in its tracks. And with it temporarily no longer a threat, Neon chucked into the closet and closed the door. However, that did not mean we were out of the woods as bricks continued raining down upon the house.
"Muriel. We need to get to the basement." I said, grabbing her hand and dragging her to the basement, followed by everyone else.
"Poor, Dr. Von Orbison." Muriel said as she and Eustace hid under the staircase.
"WHAT ABOUT US!?" Eustace shouted.
"Any ideas on what should we do, Jaune?" Neon asked as Dr. Garhart's house continued its assault.
"Aside from destroying his house." Flynt added.
"I'm not sure, to be honest." I answered.
"Perhaps Dr. Garhart's house is jealous of our little farmhouse. After all, our home is so lovely, and his is, well, it's a mess." Muriel said, unknowingly giving us the answer to our predicament. "I bet a little sprucing up would make it feel better."
'Hmm. Maybe. But how will we do that?' Courage asked, scratching his head.
"Maybe the paint cans and cleaning supplies over there." Neon suggested, pointing toward the wall where there were several types of paints, cleaning supplies, and aprons organized neatly.
"That will do." I said as we rushed over to the supplies and grabbed as much as possible before running up the stairs, exiting the house, and heading toward Dr. Garhart's house. Although, we did have to bob and weave to avoid getting hit by the flying bricks.
"Okay. Now we just need-" Flynt began, motioning to the tunnel we dug earlier but stopped when we heard a hissing sound followed by smoke coming from the fence. We were confused but quickly understood what was happening when the fence posts flew into the air like rockets and crashed into the farmhouse. And judging by the sounds of Muriel and Eustace screaming, the fence posts went to the basement.
"Come on." I said, knowing that we were running out of time.
"Hole on, guys. Let me play a tune to give us a boost." Flynt said while taking out his trumpet. He then played it, which gave us a speed boost. It was a tremendous boost as we managed to paint most of the house within seconds. And combine that with Neon's skating skills, we finished painting everything, including the shutters, in five minutes. We would have finished painting quicker but had to avoid the attacks the house sent our way.
'Okay. The outside of the house is done. Now the inside.' Courage said, panting after he finished painting the last window shutters.
"And I think we will have an easier time." Neon added when we heard the house letting out a low, non-aggressive moan.
"WHO'S OUT THERE?" Dr. Garhart asked, sticking his head out of the window. "Oh, why, hello there, neighbors."
"Hello." We said as we finally caught our breath.
"I don't know what any of you are doing, but she's starting to calm down." He said. However, as if wanting to prove him wrong, his house summoned five colossal-sized 2x4 to wreck the farmhouse.
"Yeah, right." Neon said, moving to avoid a flying piece of wood.
"Here. Take this." I said, giving Garhart a paint bucket and paintbrush.
"Yes. Painting is an excellent idea." He said, taking the brush and paint bucket. He then moved to the opposite side of the living room and began to paint the wall. "I should have done this years ago."
Not wasting any more time, we all hopped into the house through the window. We then split up the tasks to save time. Neon helped Garhart paint the walls while Courage and I cleaned up all the dirt and debris. Flynt, meanwhile, continued to play his trumpet to give us a speed boost and redirect any attack the house sent our way. Although, we were worried when we ran out of cleaning supplies and paint. Thankfully, Garhart had some spear supplies in his basement that he never used.
"Neighbors, you made this house beautiful. She's the happiest I've ever seen her. Listen." Garhart said, putting down the vase he was cleaning before putting his hand near his ear. Straining our ears, we heard the house let out a soft moan before retracting the wooden beams. We then walked over to the window and saw that Garhart's home had ceased its attacks. Its wind vial even came back and landed on the top.
'That was close.' Courage said, wiping his forehead.
"It was." Flynt and Neon agreed.
"But the house has come together nicely." I said, admiring our work and how beautiful the house is now.
"But there is one final touch left." Garhart said as he moved to put on some music. As if to complete the look, Courage pulled out some candles from his pockets and lit them.
"HEH?" "OOH?"
"Come in, neighbors. Come in." Garhart said, smiling. Turning around, we saw that Muriel and Eustace had come to see what was happening and were taken aback by how drastically we had changed the house.
"Oh, my." Muriel gasped, loving how lovely the house looked.
"Welcome to my humble abode."
"I must say that your home is one of the most beautiful I've ever seen."
"Got more sardines?" Eustace interjected.
"Amazing what a little tender loving care can do for you. It's such a friendly place now."
'Uh-huh.' Courage agreed.
"Does this give you any ideas for your home, Jaune?" Flynt asked.
"Some. But I want to run it by Iris first." I answered.
"You know, I would like to meet your future wife sometime soon." Neon said.
"She's actually visiting later today; you can meet her then." I said.
'Huh?' Courage suddenly said, getting our attention. But before we could ask what he heard, the sounds of hammers and saws greeted our ears.
"What's all that racket?" Eustace asked, annoyed. We walked over to the window to look outside to see what was making the noise. But what we saw surprised us.
"Oh, my. Houses. Everywhere." Muriel said, seeing all the brand-new houses with musical notes surrounding them.
"Maybe you can build your new home in this new neighborhood." Neon suggested.
"Perhaps. But I'll have to ask Iris." I said.
*DING DONG*
"Neighbors." Garhart excitedly said before heading toward the door. Curious, we followed him and waited behind him until he opened the door.
"Hello, neighbor. I'm the mayor. Is that your farmhouse?" The self-proclaimed mayor asked while pointing to the remains of our farmhouse.
"Yes, it is." Muriel answered.
"Well, the remains of it, anyway." I added.
"Sorry, we're not zoned for farmhouses. Move it, or I'll have the boys knock it down." The mayor warned before leaving. And standing in front of our house were two men in orange suits wielding giant hammers.
"Oh, we're going to miss you, Garhart." Muriel said as we exited his home.
"But I want you to be my neighbors." He said, upset that we had to leave.
"True neighbors can't be separated by miles." Muriel assured him.
"That is true." Flynt agreed. "Especially when you are all good friends."
"Just look at Flynt, Jaune, and me." Neon added, smiling.
"Yes, that's right." Garhart said, smiling before turning to us. "Thank you, true neighbors, for everything."
"You're welcome." We all said. Hearing a low moan, we turned to the house and saw the rug coming toward us. But instead of attacking, it wrapped around Courage.
'HA! HA! HA! HA!' Courage uncontrollably laughed, causing the rest of us, minus Eustace, to smile. However, the moment was cut short by our farmhouse collapsing from the damage Garhart's house inflicted upon it.
"I take it that's not the first time this happened." Flynt said with a wince.
"Nope. And it won't be the last." I said with a sigh. Yet, I was not upset as despite all that had happened today; I was glad I could hang out with Neon and Flynt again.
Notes:
Next Chapters: (1) Rumplekiltskin with Coco. (2) Uncommon Cold with Team Rwby and Penny. (3) Profiles in Courage with who? (4) Muriel blows up with who?
Before the final two episode chapters, (Remembrance of Courage Past and Perfect) followed by the wedding and epilogue, should I do the Mother's day episode? But instead of following the regular episode with Courage, Eustace, And Ma Bagge, it would be Muriel and Jaune spending the day together as mother and son.