Jaune and Courage the Cowardly Dog
Chapter 93: Rumplekiltskin
"Must you do that here?" Coco growled as Eustace continued to clip his nails with some garden shears.
'Blech!' Courage said in disgust when another of Eustace's nails landed in his bowl.
"Thanks for agreeing to help with my tuxedo, Coco." I said, smiling.
"No problem, blondie." She said, smiling as she continued to look through a magazine of some kind. But she then put it down before lowering her shades. "And as friend and fashionista, I'll be damned if I let you marry Iris, your future wife, a goddess no less, in a cheap suit."
"Right." I said, agreeing.
"And we can start incorporating the family kilt after I finish making breakfast." Muriel said as she made breakfast.
*KNOCK KNOCK*
"Eustace, would you be a dear and see who that is?" Muriel asked.
*KNOCK KNOCK*
"AH! Go get the door, dog." Eustace growled.
'I wonder who it is.' Courage wondered as he opened the door.
"Telegram for Muriel Bagge." The postman said, sticking his hand inside while holding a letter.
'Thanks.' Courage said, taking the letter.
"Who's it from?" I asked as Courage walked over to Muriel and gave it to her.
"OH! It's from my great uncle Angus in Scotland." She answered, taking the letter out but became confused afterward. "I didn't even know I had a great uncle Angus."
"Perhaps he's a long-lost family member?" Coco suggested.
"Maybe. Maybe I saw him when I was a wee lassie and haven't seen him since. But either way, it seems the last relative who knew the secret pattern of our family's tartan kilt just died."
'Oh, no.' Courage gasped.
"We're sorry to hear that." Coco and I said.
"It looks like I am the only one left who knows how to weave the family kilt." Muriel said, trying to keep calm.
"Big deal. Where's my breakfast?" Eustace demanded but fell and became unconscious when Coco smacked him with her purse.
"What does the rest of the letter say?" I asked.
"Uncle Angus says he needs us to come to Scotland at once." She answered before turning to the wall she kept the family tartan kilt hanging. "We'll be needing the secret pattern for the kilt, then, won't we?"
"I ain't going. I hate Scotland." Eustace said, regaining consciousness.
"Suit yourself." Muriel said before turning to the rest of us. "Would you three like to join me?"
"Of course." I answered with Courage nodding.
"What about you, dearie?" Muriel asked Coco.
"Sure, why not. Plus, it would be nice to see Scotland, where you grew up. It might even give me some ideas about Jaune's tux and some parts of the wedding." She answered, reminding me that she was in charge of specific aspects of the wedding.
"Wonderful. Let all get packed up and we can get going." Muriel said before heading to her room.
Fourteen Hours Later
Scotland Airport Gate 25
"So this is Scotland." Coco said, sounding impressed but also tired as we exited gate 25. "Much more humid than I expected."
"Aye. Scotland can get mighty nasty in the humidity in the summer. But also mighty chilly in the winter." Muriel explained.
"Muriel, do you think we can get something to drink before meeting your uncle Agnus?" I asked, fighting through a yawn as the trip here was well over fourteen hours.
"Later, dear. Let's first meet with uncle Agnus and then I can show you both around Scotland. I can even show you where Scotland makes the best tea and artisan coffee."
"Artisan coffee. Now you have my attention." Coco said, suddenly wide awake.
"Now, we need to find uncle Agnus or the ride he sent us." Muriel said, looking over the signs a couple of people were holding.
'There's our name.' Courage said, pointing to a short man holding a sign with our name. And when he noticed that we saw him, he smiled.
"Oh, my." Muriel said, surprised as the man walked up to us.
"Good 'smorn. Is that you, Muriel Bagge?" He asked.
'Jaune, take Muriel's bag.' Courage said, struggling to stay on his feet. But before he collapsed, I grabbed the bag, much to his relief.
"Why, yes. Great uncle Angus?" Muriel asked, confused.
"Um...right. It's me, your great uncle Angus." He hesitated before answering. His eyes then locked onto the kilt. "I see you brought the secret kilt pattern with you."
'OOF!' Courage grunted when the guy poked his nose.
"Very good. Well, we'd better be getting to the castle before the fog rolls over the full moon." He said before leaving.
"I don't trust him." Coco said, glaring at him.
"Yeah. Something's just not right about this." I agreed.
'We better keep a close eye on him.' Courage said before following Muriel while dragging the bag behind him.
Three Hours Later
"Wow." We all said as we looked out the window of the castle's tower. It was taller than Beacon's tower.
"Here we are, lassies. This bedroom is for the lad and the wee pooch, while the one through the door is for you lassies." Angus said before pointing to the other door.
"I don't mean to be ungrateful, but-" Muriel nervously began.
"But there's no bed. Only a quilting frame." Coco finished with a glare before taking a sip of the artisan coffee we got.
"AH, ha, ha. How could I forget the beds?" Angus asked, laughing. "Meanwhile, I'd love it if you could commence weaving the tartan quilt. You know, for family tradition and all."
"Of course, uncle Angus." Muriel excitedly said. She then walked over to the quilting frame and sat on the bench. "I'll be needing some wool, though."
"Oh, we've got plenty of that." Angus said, followed by a sheep bleating.
'What was that?' Courage asked, shivering.
"It's only a sheep, Courage." I answered as Angus brought in a sheep.
"A sheep with wool I had never seen before." Coco added. And she was correct as the sheep's wool color resembled that of a kilt.
"Alright. Now, Jaune and Courage. You two just roll the wool off the sheep's back and hand it to me as I weave." Muriel said, grabbing a line of the sheep's wool and giving it to us.
"Good. I'll leave everyone to their work." Angus said before leaving the room.
"Okay. Coco, sit next to me so I can show you how to make the family kilt. But remember, it is a family secret, and I'm only telling you as you are making my son his suit for his big day. So, keep it a secret." Muriel told Coco.
"Don't worry; I will." She said as she sat next to Muriel.
"Let's begin then." With that said, Muriel began the task of weaving the kilt while Courage and I gave her the wool thread.
Two Hours Later
"Maybe we should use some of the hay to keep the sheep warm?" I asked as Courage, and I watched the now woolless sheep shiver from the cold.
'Maybe, but I don't think it will be enough.' He said with his paw on his chin.
"So, how are we doing?" Angus said as he jumped into the doorway, smiling.
"We've got one tartan kilt woven with love for my dear uncle Angus." Muriel answered as she folded the kilt. Angus then walked up to Muriel and began examing the kilt but smirked afterward.
"Now, all we need are 4,999 more of these babies by the time the sun peeks over the moors." He said while stroking his beard.
"Wait, what?" Courage and I asked, shocked.
"Knew something was off the moment I laid eyes on you." Coco said, lowering her shades while also gripping her purse tighter.
"Nonsense, everyone. Uncle Angus, I'll get right on that after a wee nap and a cup of tea." Muriel said while folding the kilt again. However, as soon as she finished, what Angus said finally registered. "Are you daft, man?"
"I GOT OUTLET STORES BREATHING DOWN MY NECK FOR MORE KILTS!" Angus shouted. "It's supply and demand. I DEMAND! YOU SUPPLY!"
"Now you're just being an ass." Coco growled, glaring at him.
"But-but how can you do this to me, uncle Angus?" Muriel asked, crying.
"AH, HA HA HA HA! You're nothing to me because I'm not your great uncle Angus. What's more, you don't even have a great uncle Angus, and you never did." He explained.
"Then what's your name?" I asked, glaring at him.
"Who am I? Who am I? Never mind who I am. I'm not telling you." He said with his face turning beat red. "Now start your weaving, baby!"
"And if she doesn't?" Coco asked, stepping in between her and the guy.
"Then you'd leave me no choice but to-[Scottish Giberish]-Sheperd's pie!"
'YIPES!' Courage screamed, terrified, before running to Muriel.
"Um, what did you say?" Coco and I asked, confused as all we understood from his rant was Shepherd's Pie.
"YOU'D MAKE US INTO SHEPARD'S PIE!?" Muriel asked, equally terrified.
"Aye." The guy said before taking out a large toothpick to clean his teeth.
"Why, you're nothing but a wee monster, Mr., uh, what's your name again?" Muriel asked.
"Never mind my name. You just do your work." He said before storming out.
"OOH! What a strange, nasty little man." Muriel said after the guy slammed the door shut.
"But what was all the fuss about him not wanting us to know his name?" Coco asked, curious.
"We can worry about that later. The question remains, where will I get the wool to weave 4,999 kilts?" But as soon as Muriel said this, a few sheep flew through the open window. "Oh, my."
"REMEMBER, BE FINISHED BY SUNRISE! AH, HA HA HA HA!" The man shouted.
"Oh, dear. What are we going to do?" Muriel asked as the man sent more sheep flying through the window.
"We can simply not do what he says and leave. He can't keep us here." Coco said before moving to the door, only to find that the man had locked it. Not giving up, Coco adjusted her glasses before kicking the door with all her might. But she only got a resounding thud followed by pain shooting up her leg in response to kicking the door. "OW! Okay. Let's find another way."
"Perhaps we can try the window?" I suggested. However, we realized that plan wouldn't work when we looked out the window and noticed that we were almost a thousand feet high.
"Oh, no. That's way too far for me to jump." Muriel said, shaking her head. "It's up to you three. You've got to go out the window and get help."
"And how are we supposed to do that?" I asked, feeling my legs turn to jelly the longer I stared out the window.
"I'll lower you down with my hair. Just like Rapunzel." She said while adjusting her hair.
'I just know this isn't going to work.' Courage said as he grabbed Muriel's hair and climbed out the window.
Sixty Seconds Later
"I was afraid that would happen." I said as Coco, and I rose to the surface of the moat surrounding the castle. But while it hurt when we crashed into the water, we considered ourselves lucky as Courage went face-first into the solid ground.
"You okay, Courage?" Coco asked, fixing her beret as we watched Courage walk around dazed before falling into the moat.
'OOOH!' He moaned as he rose to the surface. But before we could say anything else, the drawbridge landed on our heads.
"OW!" We all shouted in pain.
"You're fired." We heard the guy shout. Quitely swimming to the edge of the drawbridge, we peeked around it to see what was happening. And we saw the man yelling at an elderly lady holding a box of random items. "TAKE YOUR THINGS AND GET OUT!"
"Who could that lady be?" I asked.
"Maybe just a tenant?" Coco suggested before motioning to remain quiet.
"You know the rules, and you broke them. No one utters my name, and anyone who dares even to whisper it gets a sure boot out of my castle." He said with the lady leaving. "NOW OFF WITH YOU! BE GONE, MUM!"
"Woah. He's even an ass to his own mother." Coco said as the drawbridge raised.
'Hmm.' Courage said, smiling while pointing to his head. 'But now we have a way of safely getting Muriel out of the castle.'
"True. But first, we need to learn the guy's name." Coco reminded as we got out of the moat. "Anybody got any ideas?"
"Yes, but you might not like it." I answered, remembering how Blake hated it when we dressed her in a sales outfit to try and raise money to return the overdue library book.
Two Hours Later
"And you said Blake didn't like it, right?" Coco asked as she examined the sales suit we had her wear.
"Yes." I nervously said while Courage fixed his oversized mustache.
"Her loss then, as with a few alterations, this can be a stylish suit." Coco said, surprising us.
'That went better than expected.' I thought, relieved.
'Alright. Let's get started.' Courage said while pressing the doorbell.
"ARGH! WHAT NOW!" We heard the guy shout from inside the castle with the drawbridge lowering a second later. Once down, we crossed it, placed the radio down, and pressed a button on it.
'Congratulations, friend. You just won our grand prize.' The prerecorded message played.
"Of one million dollars. And all you have to do is one thing." Coco continued while twirling a staff like a pro. A staff that she did not have a moment ago. She even had a hat that complimented her suit perfectly.
"And that one thing is to tell us your name so we can complete the check." I finished with Courage waving the fake check we made in the air. However, our plan failed by what the guy did next.
"Let's just make it out to cash." He said, taking the check and writing cash on the line.
'AAHHH!' Courage gasped.
"AH, HA HA HA HA!" The guy laughed before leaving.
"Damn it." I said, annoyed that I didn't see this coming despite it being obvious.
"Any other ideas?" Coco asked as we exited the castle.
'Some.'Courage answered.
"I just hope Muriel is okay." I added.
Muriel's Room
"3,206." Muriel said, finishing a freshly woven kilt. She then folded it and threw it onto the pile behind her.
4:30 A.M.
"We're running out of time." Coco said as we threw away our most recent attempt to get the guy to reveal his name.
"And we're not getting any closer to getting him to reveal his name." I added.
'What now?' Courage asked, sitting on a garbage can. But before we could say anything, a new voice interjected.
"What kind of world is it when a mother gets treated like a bag of dirt, and all because she didn't name her son Tony, Frankie, or Myron." The voice said. Turning to the voice, we noticed it belonged to the lady the guy kicked out yesterday.
"He should be glad that he at least has a mother who cares about him." I muttered under my breath, remembering how harshly my birth mother treated me. Yet, they were quickly replaced by the pleasant memories of Muriel.
"Before you go any further, who are you exactly?" Coco asked, curious.
"I am the mother of the man who owns this castle." She answered.
"And what did you name your son?" I asked.
"I gave him a perfectly lovely name." She answered before whispering it to us.
'YES!' Courage cheered.
"Thank you, mam. You helped us a great deal." I said, happy that we learned the man's name and could get Muriel out.
"No problem, lassies." She sad before leaving.
"Okay. Let's get Muriel out." Coco said as we rushed into the castle.
Muriel's Chamber
"Oh." Muriel moaned, exhausted as she wiped the sweat off her forehead.
"Why couldn't this place have an outside escalator?" I asked, panting as Courage, Coco, and I climbed through the window. And we only did it this way as we could not get inside the castle through the front door, and there were no other entrances. This meant there was only one way left: to climb the ridiculously tall tower. And while the climbing gear Courage gave us made it easier, it wasn't any less taxing.
"I would even use a catapult." Coco added as Courage ran up to Muriel to tell her what we had just learned.
"What's that you're saying?" Muriel asked.
"We have something to tell you, Muriel." Coco answered.
"Something that could get us out of this mess." I added.
"What is it?" She asked.
'His name. We know his name. He hates when someone says it and kicks them out. We say it; we get kicked out and get to leave.' Courage answered before telling Muriel the guy's name.
"Wrinkled pimple skin." Muriel guessed wrong. Courage then tried again but was harder to understand. "Pumpernickel stilts fin?"
"No, his name is-" I began.
*BANG*
"TIMES UP! Do I have my 5000 kilts?" The guy asked, kicking the door open and interrupting me before I could tell Muriel his name.
"All I could manage to weave was 4,237. Please don't grind us up, Mr...uh... What did you say was your name again?" Muriel asked.
"There you go again with my name. IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" He shouted, pointing at Muriel.
'Wait! WAIT! WAIT!' Courage shouted, getting their attention.
"Maybe we could unknowingly get him to say his name." I suggested.
"And I'm guessing you mean through charades?" Coco asked.
"Yes."
"Great. I suck at charades." She said with an irritated sigh.
"Wait. Before you turn us into a pie, how about a quick game." I said.
"Game. What kind of game?" The guy asked.
"Oh, I love games." Muriel said.
"Charades." I said with Courage raising one finger.
"First word is..." The guy began. Courage turned around and started slapping his butt, causing us to stifle a small laugh. "Uh... buttocks."
"Close, but no." I said with Courage waving his finger.
"Bottom. Tushi? Heinie?"
"Nope." Coco answered before turning to Muriel. "Would you like to try, Murie?"
"Rump?" She asked.
"Correct." I said.
'Uh-Huh. Uh-Huh.'
"Alright. Second word." Coco said with Courage placing his hand on his nose. Seeing a walker nearby, I grabbed it and pretended to be an older person to give them the next hint.
"OLD! Rump-old." The guy said, getting it on his first try. "AH! Rumpled?"
"Yes." I said, putting the walker away.
"Oh, isn't this fun? Next word." Muriel said, smiling and clapping her hands.
"Okay. My turn." Coco said before looking around and sighing. She then grabbed a kilt and wrapped it around herself.
"You're a girl." Muriel said.
"Aye. You're a girl." The guy agreed.
"Incorrect." I said with Courage howling. I then began trying to find a way to tell them the next word but didn't need to as Courage found a way. And by found a way, I mean he jumped into the quilting press.
"That's got to hurt, even for him." Coco said with a wince as Courage used the press on himself. Luckily, despite the pained grunts, he came out fine a moment later, although his skin now matched the color of the quilts.
'How about now?' Courage asked, hopping out of the press and moving to stand in front of Muriel and the guy.
"Kilt skin. Kilt skin." The guy said, unsure.
"Correct." We said, relieved that they got the final word. Now we just hope they put it all together.
"Rumpled-kilt-skin?" Muriel asked, confused.
"Yes. You got it." We answered.
'Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.' Courage said, frantically nodding.
"NO!" The guy suddenly screamed.
"Rumpled-kilt-skin. What in heaven's name is that?" Muriel asked.
"IT'S MY NAME!" The guy explained before becoming furious. "I TOLD YOU, NO ONE UTTERS MY NAME AND STAYS HERE UNDER MY ROOF! NOW, GET OUT! OOUUTT!"
'OH!' Courage screamed, terrified while running to hide behind Muriel.
'Oh, thank, Oum. We can leave now.' I thought, relieved.
"Rumplekiltskin. Well, I think it's a darling, precious name." Muriel said, smiling.
"DON'T EVER SAY MY NAME!" Rumplekiltskin warned.
"Then don't yell at her." Coco threatened.
"NO! SHE WON'T SAY MY NAME, OR I'LL-I'LL-" He began but stopped midway through before breaking down and sobbing into Muriel's lap.
"Uh." I said, unsure of what to say.
"There. There." Muriel said, patting his head. "But if you hate your name so much, why don't you change it, dear?"
"Change it? What do you mean change it?" He asked, stepping back and wiping a tear.
"You know, maybe something more along the lines of Rumplestiltskin?" Muriel suggested.
"Hmm, it does have a certain ring to it. I like it. I feel like a new man." He said, smiling.
'Are you serious?' Coco, Courage, and I thought with a deadpan look.
"Say, how about you and me go into business together as full partners?" Rumplestiltskin offered.
"You've got yourself a deal, Rumplestiltskin." Muriel said, surprising us. Well, Coco and I were surprised as Courage just accepted it, pulled out some bagpipes, and began playing them. "But now, we need to leave as we have a full day ahead of us."
"Alright. Take care now, and thank you for the new name." He said before leaving the room.
"What do you mean, Muriel?" I asked.
"Well, I did promise you three that I'd show you around Scotland. So, let's go before the sun sets." She explained.
"Okay." We said, smiling as we followed her out of the room.
Notes:
Next Chapters: (1) Uncommon Cold with Team Rwby and Penny. (2) Profiles in Courage with Ruby and Taiyang. (3) Muriel blows up with Saphron, Terra, Adrian, and Winter. (4) Mother's Day with only Jaune and Muriel. (5) Perfect with Glynda and Winter. (6) Remembrance of Courage's Past with Team Rwby and Team Jnpr.
Should Adrian appear in Profiles in Courage with Jaune babysitting him and taking him to the fair?
BlackRaptor1: Yes, the vet will know the Arc Family and be an old friend of theirs and working for Salem.
But now, here is another question. For Remembrance of Courage's Past, should Cinder also appear and be given the same fate or similar fate to the vet as in the episode?
For Perfect: Should Team Rwby And Team Jnpr appear but have no knowledge of the Perfectionist and do not see her? But Winter and Glynda do know and see her as they had past experiences with her?