Entry 39: Of Course My Birthday Sucked, What Would I Expect?
April 1st: Early Morning
Something was poking at my cheek. Instinctively, I went to swat it away but there was nothing there. Only for the poking to return. "Ugh...stop." The poking went on for a few more seconds before I bothered to open my eyes. The sun immediately reprimanded me for daring to do so. "Ow! Why are the windows open? Subaru close that shit..."
"Sorry but, I can't do that." That voice... was definitely not Subaru. I quickly shook my head and looked at the culprit.
"Miku... wait, why am I outside?!" I looked around me and realized that I was still at the park, sitting next to the bell. "I slept out here?"
Miku took a seat next to me, resting her head on my shoulder. It brought some comfort until- "I'm in love with you, you useless shitty guard!" That memory played in my head. Now. I felt like a piece of shit for accepting the small form of affection.
"Miku... last night-"
"I know. Nino told me." Of course. It made sense. After all, the way she acted... she didn't confess expecting a relationship out of it. "I was pretty surprised. I thought she was over you."
"What's that supposed to mean?" She gave me a look that screamed 'Seriously?' and let out a sigh.
"It's not my place to say... it's just when I told her about me confessing... She supported me and even helped me plan it. So I thought that she didn't have these feelings for you anymore." Anymore. Meaning she had them for some time in the past. Jeez, just how dense am I? I brought my legs to my chest and rested my head on my knees.
"What the hell am I supposed to do?"
I could feel her sit up straight. "Well first off you need a bath." Of course I smell. What was I thinking, sleeping outside? "But other than that... how do you feel about it?"
"..." I didn't have the guts to look up at her. "I... I don't know."
"Liar." Why?
"I'm not."
"Yes, you are." Please, just stop. I can't. "Kuro, tell me or I'll never forgive you." My stomach curled when I heard that. I'm sorry.
"...I was happy to hear it. But-"
"Kuro." I felt her hand on my head so I looked up at her. Her smile reassured me. "I had a feeling. You really are a sis-con."
"... I'm sorry." She began to pat me. "I'm scum. A useless bag of flesh. "
"I don't know if I'd go that far..." No matter how disgusting I was... she still kept comforting me. "I can't say I didn't see this coming. When I first realized I had these feelings, I began to wonder what to do about Nino's. All I did was hope that she would stop and... I'd get a fair chance."
Fair. Something about that confused me a bit. Here Miku was, the Nakano the most obsessed with the warring states period of Japan, thinking about fighting fair. "I thought the phrase was 'All's fair in love and war'?"
"She's my sister, Kuro. I don't want to hurt her." Oh. Of course she wouldn't want to do anything underhanded if it meant hurting her family. Wait, does that mean if Nino wasn't her sister, she'd go all out? "It was part of the reason why I waited so long... though to be fair it was mostly my fear of rejection."
She took her hand off my head. "I was happy when she told me she got over you. But now... I know she was just lying to herself and me. I'd never expected Nino of all people to do that. Now... I hate myself for everything. All the flirting we did in front of her, all the stories I told her. No wonder she confessed in such a way."
"It's my fault for not noticing."
"Kuro, you stood no chance of figuring that out." It was painful how right she was. But even so... I should have seen the signs. No, I did see them. I just ignored them because they'd be too uncomfortable to realize. That was the strange feeling I had. The feeling of missing something. It was that I was ignoring something, doing my best not to notice it. What I refused to see was...
"My feelings for Nino..." Of course I still don't understand my own feelings. What a load of bullshit. Why'd I have to be born this way?
"...do you love her?"
"I... I think so."
"What about me?"
"Of course I love you. But... what the hell am I supposed to do?" In a situation like this... it'd be best if I just lef- "Oof!" A fist made contact with the top of my head. "I deserve that."
"What you said out loud wasn't why I hit you." Miku was wearing her best glare as she rubbed her hand. I do have a hard head. "Don't think you can just run away from this."
"Ah. Sorry." We both let out a sigh. "So, what do we do?"
"We talk about this like adults, but not here. There's too much of a risk of dad finding out and... you're not exactly in your right mind. Nino and I will come over tomorrow... sorry."
"What's there to apologize for? It's all my fault." Taking in a deep breath, I pushed down the dumb thoughts and stood up. Tomorrow, then. "Let's head back then. Ebata is supposed to pick us up this afternoon and I want to get a bath before then. " I turned to my- i don't get to call her that, right now. To Miku and give her a hand standing up. "Thanks for- MPH!"
As she took my hand, she quickly stood up and pulled me into a kiss. Breaking it off after a few seconds, she gave me a wry smile. "No matter what happens, I'll always love you. Okay?"
"Y-Yes, Ma'am. Thank you Ma'am. Love you too, Ma'am."
"Mouuu. You've got to get used to these kisses already! Don't break every time we do them!" I can't help it! You're way too bold, Miku! I really can't compete with you.
Same Day: Morning
When we got back, the lobby was surprisingly empty, as I'd expected Gramps to be there. Shrugging that aside. I said bye to Miku, got a change of clothes from my room and got to the male bath.
When I entered the bath, I saw a truly horrifying sight. "Oi! Don't go so hard there, Ugi-nii!"
"Haha! Sorry, Kid! Don't know my strength!"
"Father, when was the last time you dyed your hair? The roots are coming back in."
"... why did I agree to this?" It was a back scrubbing circle. Subaru, Taro along with his dad and even Sir Maruo were huddled in a circle. Each one scrubbing the others back like a train. This back washing epidemic must come to an end!
"What are you all doing?" The only one to seem a bit embarrassed was Sir Maruo, who stood up; interrupting Subaru's wash of his back.
"I was just getting into the bath." The usually stern man was blushing as he walked into the bath and practically dived in.
"Haha! You haven't changed at all, Mao!" Taro's father thanked his son before joining Sir Maruo in the bath, bringing with him a cup and bottle of Sake. "Come on kids, unless you want to join our little circle, Ogata!"
"I'll be fine." I went on to wash myself while I saw Taro join his father. As I expected, Subaru walked over to me as I went about washing my hair.
"Where were you last night? You weren't in the room when Master Miku came knocking. Unless you woke up reeeally early, you did something. You did something, didn't you."
Rinsing my hair, I shook the water off of it. Some drops hit Subaru in the face. "Had to take a walk because your ear shattering snoring wouldn't let me fall asleep. I ended up falling asleep on a bench outside."
The young man cringed and quickly bowed. "Sorry, boss. I'll cut off my nose as soon as we get home."
"Don't do that. Look, it's fine. It's nice to sleep out in the stars sometimes." That's a lie. My neck is killing me. After I finished cleaning myself, I was about to go into the bath when Taro suddenly got out of it. "What, got tired of bathing after a few days?"
"I-I just need to go do something." He quickly made his way out of the bath. Wonder what he's up to. Shrugging my shoulders, I relaxed into the bath in front of Sir Maruo and Taro's father.
"What's up his butt?"
"Oh, nothing Subaru. It's just a man's gotta do what a man's got to do." Taro's dad answered.
"Damn, post bath shit? Poor guy's gonna have to take another bath later." I hate these guys. But, their banter was a great distraction. Every few seconds my mind would draft to those words... only for Subaru or Taro's dad to say something stupid and knock it out of my head.
"You seem conflicted about something." Sir Maruo surprisingly struck up a conversation with me. "Something wrong?" Woah, so this is the effect a relaxing bath can have on him.
"Just a personal problem, Sir. Thank you for asking." If I told you, you'd have me ripped limb from limb.
He whipped some sweat from his head and relaxed in the bath once more. "I'd rather you stop calling me sir. You aren't under my employment anymore, and if your relationship with my daughter will go anywhere, I'd rather not have you call me that forever." Nin-
"Y-Yes sir." I shoved the thought back down. "Ah, I apologize. What would you like me to call you then?"
"Anything other than father or something along those lines." He sent a glare to Subaru as he said that. Poor idiot was completely obvious because he was having too much fun talking with his 2nd new friend. Did he call him Ugi-Nii earlier? "I don't need a third person calling me that."
"Ah, Taro made that mistake, huh?" At the mention of my friend, I could see the tension come back to his shoulders. "Very well. Maruo then, if that's alright."
"That's fine."
"Oh come on, Mao! You don't like it when I call you that! Why does a kid get to do it?" The two adults in the bath started a staring contest.
"Because he isn't good for nothing like you, Uesugi. The least you could do is raise your son right."
"Haha! That's rich coming from you! At least I'm raising my son."
"Is that so..." I nudged my teammate and the two of us got out of there before it got any worse.
Once we got changed and left the bath, Subaru turned to me with a smile. "Leave it to me, boss!"
"Huh?
Putting on a victorious grin, he pointed a finger to the sky. "In order to show my thanks, I've come up with a plan. I, SUbaru N-Natsuki, will take care of packing for you so you can go visit your hubby!" Wait, what?
"Subaru, that isn't-"
"Nonsense! Just leave it to me! If I see you come near our room, I'll give you a punch in the face. So don't come, ya hear!" With a smug smile and wave, the demonically stupid dumbass left me alone in the hallway. That... fine. He's just trying to be nice. He had no way of knowing that heading to the Nakano's room was the last thing I wanted to do. I could run into her... wait I could run into her anywhere here! Oh no! Wait, I'm going to be stuck in a car with her for five hours! Ah, fuck me!
I'd ended up beginning to pace around the Inn. Eventually I made it to the lobby where the old man was sitting, reading a book. What should I do? What do I- "... stop pacing around, young man. You'll scare the guests."
"A-Ah. Sorry, Sir." Coincidently, I stopped right in front of his desk. Wait a minute... he's the one who told me to take Nino with me. Is he... was he in on it? No, it looked like a spur of the moment thing from her. Stop thinking already. I grabbed my head and shook it, hoping the physical act would literally make the words fall out of my head.
"...you've changed since I last saw you." I turned to the old man, not expecting those words from him. "You used to be... a real pain in the ass." That doesn't feel good to hear from the girls you love's grandfather. Girls? Oh no... "Always worrying over every little thing. Now... you seem to be doing the same but in a different sense."
"I'd like to think I changed for the better. But... I just got a wake up call telling me I haven't. I still can't understand anything about myself or others. I'm just an idiot thinking he's got it all figured out."
"... aren't we all?" It sounded cliché but... that sentence took off some weight from my shoulders. "I was impressed. You were able to tell everyone apart. Took you a few years, no?"
"Yes, sir. I'm surprised I was able to do so as well."
He closed the book he was reading and put on a small smile. "Between you and that other young man... I know my granddaughters will be alright." But his smile soon turned sour. "That Natsuki child... he needs some work." Bro, I get it. But can everyone lay off my friend please? He's trying his best. At least he gets along with the Uesugi. "Take care of them, alright?"
"I..." Nino and Miku popped into my head once more. But this time, instead of this feeling of dread or fear... all I wanted was to see them smile. "I won't let you down, Gramps. And I promise next time, I'll convince them not to worry so much about their disguises."
"I've already talked... to the Uesugi kid about that."
"Good to see you have a good impression of him. Maruo wants him dead for some reason."
"As far as I'm concerned... he should be worrying about you in the same way." Huh? The old man was wearing a knowing smile. Oh fuck, he knows. "If you hurt them..."
"I'll kill myself before that happens."
"You'd better hope you do... otherwise what'd I'd do would be so much worse." Oh come on, man. I've already got plenty of pressure here.
Same Day: Afternoon
For the fourth time this trip, I was standing in front of the legendary bell of vows. Oh how much grief you've cost me. Damn bell. I have half a mind to throw you into the ocean. "Hey, what are you staring at for so long, for?" Subaru asked me. We'd just finished taking a group photo in front of the attraction and were about to leave. "Why don't you and Master Miku ring it?"
"Next time. I'm dead tired and just want to sleep in the car." Expertly, I dodged the subject and began walking to the group, Taro staying behind and laughing to himself for some reason. Popping a crack in my neck as I walked down the trail, a ringing could be heard behind me. "Huh?" I looked back only to see a certain Naknao sister run away from the top of the cliff. "Yotsuba?"
"I-I don't get it..." Suddenly Taro was in front of me, covering his mouth and his face was flushed. "What was that all about... who even was that?" He wasn't asking me, because he just kept walking forward. His mind clearly in the clouds.
"...ain't no fucking way." I never expected Yotsuba of all people to be so bold. Well, looks like she's ahead of you, Ichika. All's fair, as they say.
How stupid of me to think so smugly about Taro's love life. Because as soon as I got into the car, I was stuck in the situation that I'd dreaded. I sat in the back row, flanked on both sides by Miku and Nino. Miku, resting her head on my shoulder as she looked through her phone and Nino staring out the window, a blank look on her face.
"..." Sleep? Nooo. You ask for too much, Kuro! This is what you get for acting all smug, you idiot! I let a sigh escape and rested my head on the seat cushion. I tried my best to shut my eyes and get some sleep but my body just wouldn't relax. What if I- no. Maruo's right in front. If I even mentioned what happened last night, he'd have Ebata stop the car and beat me on the side of the highway. "Fuck..."
"Could you stop with the whining?" Nino clearly tried to say that smugly but it just came out emotionless. Her heart clearly wasn't in it. "I knew I shouldn't..."
"...'' What did I expect? Of course this ride would be awkward as shit. I pulled out my phone and began mindlessly scrolling through it. I didn't have the energy to play a game, and I was too tired to pay attention to a video or show.
This sucks. Even someone like me could tell that all three of us were thinking that. Needless to say, the entire five hour drive went on like that. An oppressive aura of awkwardness covering the entire car. Happy birthday to me.