Author's Note: Sorry about the long wait! I caught Tom's story up to this one and now I plan on posting back and forth. But here is the next chapter on this one! Happy Reading. Dark rolling sea.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

They were eating dinner in the stateroom tonight. Rachel was still a little depressed at Tex leaving and didn't want any extra company. Tom understood completely. Tom was eating quietly but Rachel was just staring at her plate of food. She sighed deeply without even realizing it.

"Maybe I should be worried about him," Tom broke the silence. Rachel looked up, a little confused. Tom was studying her, and she looked back down at her food. "What's wrong, Honey?"

The term of endearment startled her a little. It was the first she had heard him call her something other than her name. She looked up at him and could read the worry on his face. She thought about what was bothering her, and it wasn't just Tex leaving. There was much more on her mind. Mainly, what type of life they were destined to live in the mixed-up apocalyptic world they now lived in. Tom was waiting patiently for her to reply. She just wasn't sure she knew how to express her thoughts.

She wondered how life would be different if they lived away from the Nathan James. Away from duty and honor. Away from missions and goals. Away from cures and vaccines. Away from a virus that devastated the world. What would their life entail? She looked up at the man sitting across from her and saw his face dip deeper into a worry. She knew she needed to say something, plus she really did want to talk to him about life after. What would they do in six months when the sea duty ended? Would Tom take another run at Captain of the Nathan James? Or would he take a job land side, away from all this. If they had found a suitable lab on land she would no longer be on the ship, she knew that. So, once they had distributed the cure and vaccine to the masses, she would no longer be able to be at sea with him. Then what? Too much time was passing. Tom had put his fork down and shoved his plate aside. He reached over the table and took hold of her hand. She stared at the contact.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he whispered softly. He got up from his chair and squatted down next to her still gripping her hand. She smiled at him.

"Nothing…everything…I don't know," she mumbled. Tom smiled, dropping one knee to the ground. He raised up a little and palmed her jaw.

"Let's talk about it. I know something's on your mind, and I don't think it's just about Tex leaving. What's going on?"

"You're right," she sighed. "I think maybe Tex leaving was the catalyst for everything but I'm not thinking about him tonight. I'm thinking about us, and where we will be in six months. What's going to happen once I'm no longer needed in the lab at sea. When we get the cure out and the world vaccinated. Then what?"

"We cross that bridge when it comes," Tom said. There was something in his eyes. Rachel frowned and looked down at her knees. She didn't want to wait until the bridge came up. She wanted…well what did she want exactly? That was something she needed to figure out, but if she dug down deep, she'd be lying if she said she didn't know. Not really. She knew exactly what…or more correctly…who she wanted.

"You said yourself this new mission you suspect we'll get will take about six months to accomplish."

"If the orders I think are coming come, then yes approximately sixish months, give or take. Where are you going with this?"

"Tom, after that…then what?"

"I don't know, Rachel, I haven't really thought that far ahead. I've been battling a lot the last few months and just trying to make the right decisions to keep my crew alive long enough to complete the mission."

"What do you want, Tom?" She asked without thinking. She didn't know what she was expecting in a way of answer to that, but it was something that had been heavily weighing on her mind tonight. Tom searched her eyes, and Rachel let him probe.

"How do you mean?" Tom asked.

"Exactly what I said. What do you want? In six months, there is a really good chance I'll be done at sea. I'll be moved inland to run a lab somewhere that they'll have secure and ready. Maybe even become the head of the CDC if we can get it up and running again. We will have distributed the cure and vaccine around the globe. Then what?"

"Rachel," Tom said quietly.

"No, Tom, I'm serious. Will you continue at sea? I just want to know what I need to prepare for. Because after six months I'm not going to want to lose you for six months."

"I'll think about it and let you know. I really don't know right now what I will do when the option comes along. We need to see what the state of the world is in in six months I suppose."

Rachel simply nodded. She wasn't particularly happy with his answer, but she also knew he was a career Navy man. He had left Darien on land how many times in his life, why would it be different now? She didn't say anything more as she felt fatigue pulling at her. Tom stood and pulled her to her feet, moving them over to stretch out on the couch. She draped her body over his and laid her ear on his chest.

"I love you, Rachel," Tom said quietly, his chest rumbling with the effort. "I'll think about it, okay?"

"Okay," she replied as she felt sleep tugging at her. It was really all she could ask for was for him to consider it.

Rachel woke with a start, jerking slightly in her sleep. Tom's arms wrapped a little tighter around her as she cleared her sleep addled brain. He kissed her forehead gently.

"Hey, you, okay? Bad dream?" he asked gently. Rachel thought about it a moment but couldn't really remember what had spooked her in her sleep.

"I don't know. I don't remember," she replied. Tom squeezed her tighter against his chest and Rachel soaked in the warmth from his body. She snuggled in deeper, relishing in their new ability to be together. She had never really felt about a man the way she did about Tom Chandler, but she had never met a man quite like him either. There moment was broken when the phone was ringing. Tom detangled himself form her and answered it.

"Captain," he said, then listened for a long moment. "Understood. I'm on my way up," he continued then hung up the phone. He looked over at Rachel. "I have to go to the bridge. I don't know when I'll be back."

"Something wrong?"

"Possibly. But I'm not sure. I'll let you know more when I can," he replied distractedly. Rachel began to worry but trusted him. She nodded slowly and stood from the couch. She walked up to him and laid her hands on his chest, then reached up and kissed him. After the kiss he leaned his forehead against hers.

"I'll see you later then," she whispered.

"I'll count on it. I love you," he said, then kissed the tip of her nose.

"I love you too," she replied. Tom smiled then turned and left his stateroom. Rachel got herself ready for bed, crawling in. She sighed that it was empty but knew that this was how life would be with this man. She had to decide if she could deal with this side of it or not.

Rachel jolted awake again a few hours later. Again, she didn't know what had woken her up. She rolled and was a little disappointed that Tom was not in the bed with her. She got up and pulled on some clothes, slipping one of Tom's sweatshirts on. Checking the outer rooms, she frowned as he was not in their stateroom. She checked for any messages but didn't see any.

Figuring he was tied up with whatever had called him away to the bridge earlier, she made her way to the wardroom to get some tea. Once she had a cup, she made her way to her lab to get to work. She figured trying to sleep some more was pointless.

Gathering the things she would need she got to work making more of the vaccine and cure. As she worked, she thought about everything they had discussed, or not discussed, earlier. She worked through her mind the fact that there was a possibility that she would be away from Tom for long periods of time if he decided to continue his at sea duties after their current mission was done.

The more she thought about it the more she was surprised to think that, yes, she would be okay with that as long as he came home to her when he was on shore leave. It frightened her to think of the future, and what was to come of the world. They were frantically trying to stop the skid of the death toll, but what then? What happened when they gave the world over the cure, and everyone was vaccinated?

Where would Tom's missions go from there. There would be a lot of rebuilding. Maybe he wouldn't even be at sea, and they could settle wherever he was assigned. She hoped something like that was what happened. She just hoped Tom would be able to settle into a life away from a ship, away from the open ocean, away from the action. She knew he was a warrior at heart.

Her thoughts were buzzing nosily around her head, and she failed to notice someone enter the lab. She was in the sealed part, in her biohazard suit so she didn't notice a lot of movement around her. She nearly fell off the stool she was sitting on when the intercom came to life.

"Can I interrupt?" Tom's voice boomed through the speakers. She placed a hand over her heart and took a few deep breaths before she looked up at him. He had a sheepish grin in his face for a second before he turned serious again. Rachel put down what she was working on and nodded to him before she headed to the decontamination chamber. Once she was cleaned off and out of her suit, she made her way outside the tent.

Tom was waiting patiently for her, as he had watched the whole process. She came out and zipped up the tent again, before turning towards him.

"What's up?" she asked hesitantly. His demeanor screamed of bad news. She could tell his relaxed and happy mood from yesterday was gone and the captain with too much on his mind was back. She reached up and smoothed her hand down his face and felt him lean into the touch, closing his eyes briefly as if drawing strength from her. He opened his eyes and blew out a breath.

"I finally heard from St. Louis."

"Was that the phone call late last night?"

"Yes," Tom replied with a sigh. She could tell he was hesitant in what he was going to say.

"What's wrong?" she asked. She watched the wheels spin in Tom's eyes as he thought about her question.

"We're not going to Europe," Tom said. She could see the turmoil in his eyes.

"Where are we going?"

"There is unrest in the new capital of St. Louis. The president is requesting the ship come in for…support."

"Support? Like protecting the president?"

"Not him directly no but being a physical presence in the port to deter any uprising."

"And you're not comfortable with this mission?"

"I'd rather be spreading the cure," he said with a sad smile. He leaned against the counter. She stepped forward and hugged him. He wrapped his arms around her and sunk into her body. She could feel the tension in him.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Keep doing what you're doing. Let's get a stockpile of both the cure and vaccine and hope this is just a short side trip and a misunderstanding."

"Maybe you can use your diplomatic prowess to restore the peace," she said with a broad grin. Tom groaned. She kissed his chin.

"A diplomate I am not," Tom said in a low voice.

"No. You're a warrior," she whispered and kissed him again. Tom smiled at that and shook his head. He took a deep breath and looked around.

"What are you doing down here anyway?" he asked checking his watch. "It's early."

"I couldn't sleep so I came down here to work. I figured if you were working I could too," she replied. He smiled.

"Okay," he said. "Speaking of I have to get back to the bridge."

Rachel could hear the tiredness and destitute in his voice. She wanted to hold him until it was all gone but she knew he wouldn't let her, not now anyway.

"When do we ship out?" Rachel asked.

"After everyone returns, which would be tomorrow. So, two days we'll be under way."

"It's going to be okay," she said, feeling the urge to reassure him. He nodded with a slight smile on his lips. Then he leaned his forehead down and placed it on her shoulder. Her hands reached idly for his hips, settling gently.

"Maybe you're right," he mumbled against her.

"About?"

"Stepping away from sea duty," he sighed out as he straightened up his posture. She stared at him momentarily speechless. He chuckled. "I know, I'm shocked too. But I'm tired after all this."

"Have you ever felt this way before?"

"No," Tom said instantly. She watched his face. "I've never thought about not taking another command."

"But now?"

"Now, I'm tired," he said again, and she could hear it in his voice. "I think…maybe…it's time." He looked up at her and smiled. He reached a hand out, caressing her face. "I've done this a long time. Maybe it's time for someone else to take the reins." Rachel was speechless again. She absorbed the warmth of his hand on her face. "I have to go."

He dropped his hand and turned, leaving her lab. She watched until he was out of sight and then let out a breath, she didn't realize she was holding. Rachel couldn't help but smile at his admission. She just hoped these new orders didn't turn into something big.

To Be Continued…