The Lover and the Prisoner
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Content Warning
Sex, alcohol abuse, graphic self-harm.
Chapter Notes
This chapter was really sad to write. I apologize in advance.
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Chapter XL
It was just after 6:00PM when Genesis arrived back at Headquarters. He wound up in front of the raven-haired First's door, his fist pounding it without hesitation.
His childhood friend appeared before him as the steel slid out of the way. Something in his energy must have given away his urgency, as Angeal's face was immediately painted with concerned anguish. The broader SOLDIER could say nothing before Genesis did.
"We need to talk. Now."
As soon as he'd been sat at the kitchen table across from the other Banoran, the red-head's lurid words poured out like a blood-letting ritual.
Shinra.
Banora.
Hollander.
Jenova.
Type 'G'.
Degradation.
It was only when he mentioned Gillian that Angeal protested - albeit shakily.
"...It can't be true! My mother wouldn't... Wouldn't do that! ...Would she?"
The red-head pressed on. He even showed his friend the state of his shoulder. Angeal had tears in his eyes as he gawked in horror at the marbled skin.
At the conclusion of his friend's cruel outpouring, the raven-haired SOLDIER inquired, his voice breaking. "W-why, Genesis? Why are you telling me all of this?"
Genesis' final words were stern. "Because you have a right to know."
Angeal was weeping now, his fists slamming down upon the table. "If you were anyone else, I wouldn't believe you... But I..." He shook his head as the tears fell, "Gods! It has to be true, doesn't it? How could I be so foolish? How could I have possibly believed any of this was normal?"
Genesis stood, his face was like stone. Unable to bring himself to say another word, he turned away from the table, exhaling quietly.
The other SOLDIER wiped his eyes. "...Are you going to tell Sephiroth? He should know, too."
The red-head still said nothing. He curled his fists, stepping towards the door.
"Genesis!"
The door chimed as the exit button was pressed, and the SOLDIER was gone.
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What had compelled him to proceed to the Hero of Shinra's door that same night?
What had possessed him to collapse so helplessly in his arms, to weep without restraint, to meet his soft lips between sobs? To undress him from his armour, to trace his gaze and fingers over every centimetre of his alabaster flesh? To submit himself to his partner's worship?
And why? Why did Sephiroth worship him so? Why did he caress and kiss his tainted body in adorement? Why did he show such affection to his disgusting, degrading being? Why did he treat him so reverently, when he should be punished? Why did he bring him pleasure, when he deserved pain? Why did he lay beside him afterwards, holding him so close, so possessively, when he deserved to be discarded?
Why did he look upon him so? That expression... Stirring with admiration. With care. Confusion. Worry. Those eyes... Pupils fixed in abnormal vertical slits, glowing with mako - a reflection of what he was. What Genesis was.
A monster.
And Sephiroth... The perfect monster. The reason Genesis would never be anything to Shinra... Shinra, who manufactured him, and cast him aside.
A failure.
He turned away from his partner, laying on his right side. The Hero of Shinra kissed his neck, then sighed softly. The pain in his shoulder throbbed, reminding him of his weakness. He could feel his partner's gaze upon it, then, his words.
Sephiroth's tone was careful. "How does it...feel?"
Genesis didn't want to answer. His mouth felt dry as his voice escaped. "...A dull ache. All the time."
A short silence lingered while the other First held his breath. "...Is there anything that can be done?"
"It would seem not."
Sephiroth inhaled slowly. He nuzzled his face into his lover's hair. "...I am...deeply worried for you."
Genesis shifted slightly, wordless for a moment. He then smirked to himself, "I'll be in Wutai tomorrow. You won't need to worry when I'm not around."
The Hero of Shinra was quiet now, save for his heart fluttering in his chest. After a few seconds, he almost whispered his words. "Perhaps you...shouldn't go."
The words sunk in, and after a few seconds, Genesis rose with a start. He threw the bed-covers off of himself, immediately gathering his clothes. Sephiroth sat up slower, confounded. As his lover hastily pulled on his greaves, he inquired with trepidation, "Where...are you going?"
Genesis' tone was harsh in contrast. "Anywhere but here."
Pushing the sheets down the bed, the Hero of Shinra scrambled to find his own greaves as the other SOLDIER started for the door, the remainder of his belongings in hand.
Sephiroth followed him into the foyer, pulling on the leather garment as he stepped, his heart racing in his chest. "Genesis, wait!"
The reply was barked, "Fuck you."
The Hero of Shinra stepped faster now. He reached out, grabbing the Banoran's arm. A fist was thrown in retaliation, and to their mutual surprise, actually landed a blow. There was a moment of shock, and Sephiroth let go of his catch, staggering back. He felt something drip from his brow down the side of his face. He touched his finger to it. Upon seeing the crimson that had painted his skin, his energy changed.
Genesis had already turned away, and was pulling on his boots. The Hero of Shinra pursued him, unable to control the desperate rage that was now burning within him. As his lover stood to his full height, Sephiroth shoved him backwards, causing him to drop what he was holding and hit the wall with his shoulder. Despite witnessing him writhe in pain, clutching his degrading limb, the Hero of Shinra moved forward with a growl. Possessed by his malevolence, he barred his right arm across Genesis' chest - and clutched his throat in his dominant hand.
The restrained SOLDIER hissed in his face, "Do it! Fucking kill me. I know you can - I am certainly weak enough for you!"
The Hero of Shinra stared intently into the sapphire irises before lunging forward and meeting those perfect lips. The kiss was forceful, violating. Their teeth knocked together momentarily as Sephiroth shoved his tongue deep into the cavern. Genesis indulged him, mirroring the aggression, meeting his tongue in conflicted familiarity, and pressing hard into the hand that was restricting his airway.
The Banoran SOLDIER coughed as he desperately gasped for air. Drawing back, Sephiroth clenched his jaw, squeezing his eyes shut as his dropped his head down in shame. What was he doing?
Gods...
He loosened his hold on his lover's throat, placing his hand against the wall. Limbs quivering from the adrenaline, he spoke shakily. "I'm asking you... Please, don't... go."
Genesis coughed again before he laughed. "Why? Why would you want to hang on to damaged goods?"
His other arm slowly loosened its hold. He slid that hand against the wall, no longer physically restraining the other male, but blocking him from leaving easily. His head remained bowed as he drew in a quick breath.
"Because...I..."
Raising his eyes to meet the other's gaze, he almost wanted to swallow the words in his mouth. Almost wanted to leave them unsaid - or to only say them inside of his head, just as he had done so many times before. This time, however, they materialized without caution, dripping from within him like blood from a wound - his voice, and his heart, breaking as he finally spoke them...
"Because...I...love you, Genesis."
A single tear slowly rolled down his cheek as he watched his lover's face twist with emotions. Both SOLDIERs held their breath, as Genesis' expression shifted from shock to...something Sephiroth did not expect. His eyes had narrowed, and his mouth was slowly fixed into a light grimace before he tisked his tongue, ducking under the Hero of Shinra's arm.
He quickly gathered his effects, and Sephiroth remained rooted in place - processing what had just occurred - until the door beeped as the exit button was pressed. Coming to his senses, the Silver SOLDIER then moved towards the door, which slid shut in his face just as he reached it. He fumbled for the exit button, his hands shaking. As soon as the steel barrier cleared, he ran into the hallway, sprinting after his lover.
Genesis had reached his own door, and was moving to scan his proxy. Sephiroth couldn't see his face now - it was hidden by his hair. He stopped about two metres from him, searching for his voice.
"...Genesis..."
The proxy beeped as the Banoran's door opened. He stepped on the threshold, pausing. His expression was still veiled as he spoke. "Not another word..."
The Hero of Shinra caught his breath. Genesis slowly turned his head towards his partner, and as he did, the tears streaming freely down his face pelted his fissured shoulder.
"...Do not say another word, Sephiroth."
He stepped over the threshold, and disappeared.
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The Silver SOLDIER walked in tensed silence through the door of his own apartment. He immediately strode to the kitchen, taking a glass and a bottle of gin from the cabinet. Adding no ice, he began to pour. And pour. He didn't stop until the glass was three-quarters full. Bringing the vessel to his lips, he tipped his head back, and allowed the putrid liquid to fall down his throat.
It burned - filling his head with a seething, juniper and mint-imbued sting. The glass was empty, and without hesitation he filled it again, repeating the prior act of uninhibited consumption.
Soon enough, the bottle was empty. It was thrown hard and without care at the wall beside the kitchen table, bursting in a spray of broken shards. Sephiroth opened the cabinet again and pulled out a new bottle of merlot. He unscrewed the cap and stumbled between the kitchen counters as he gulped the red liquid. The room was already spinning. He choked and gagged as the bottle emptied. Staggering over to the sink, he vomited. Sinuses filled with acid, his eyes watered and he groaned as he stood up straight.
Clutching his scalp, he hissed at the echo inside of his head - the relentless replay of the words he had said.
Why?
Why did he confess his foolish secret to Genesis? The last glimpse of his lover swirled before him - those tears falling upon his degrading shoulder.
Gods... He'd hurt him, again!
The sobs hit Sephiroth like an earthquake, and a river of his own tears flooded his vision. He smashed the wine bottle on the granite countertop. Lurching backwards from the force, he collapsed on his rear in the sea of glass below. His body felt like it was doing cartwheels. His mind circled back to a thought buried deep in his guilt. It pushed its way to the surface, gripping his heart in its teeth.
I... I wish it was me.
Picking up the neck of the broken wine bottle, he drove its jagged edged down his left shoulder. He'd never wanted to harm himself previously - the very thought of it would have sent him into a panic. But now?
Now, he deserved this. Even if it was a futile retribution, he wanted to hurt - just as he'd hurt Genesis.
With so much alcohol pumping through his veins, there was no pain - only blood. He dragged the sharp glass over himself repeatedly - the release of endorphins blurring his cognizance like a cool fog.
Soon enough, the fog had slowly morphed into a shadow, and when he awoke, awash with Midgar's morning light, there was no hangover. His enhanced body was far too efficient at getting rid of the poison. The deep lacerations he had carved into his shoulder had already healed - smooth and perfect skin showing no signs of harm, save for the copious amount of dried crimson on his person.
Regret filled him in place of alcohol as he realized his loss of control had solved nothing. Erased nothing of the pain he felt in every cell of his being. The earliest thoughts on his mind that morning were of Genesis. He pictured again the heart-wrenching portrait of the other SOLDIER's pained expression before he'd stepped inside his quarters that night. Sephiroth cringed as he thought of the desperate, abusive way he behaved before his confession. The way he'd let his furor take command of him. How he'd rather have put his lover in restraint than watch him go.
Sephiroth sighed as he rose to his feet, aware that the floor was marred with broken glass. In the hallway outside, he could faintly hear the sound of Genesis' door open and then shut. He thought briefly about pursuing him, but reminded himself of his current appearance.
Instead, he listened, as the familiar, tepid tapping of his lover's boots grew quieter.
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It was time.
Uncertain of when he'd return... If he'd return... Genesis gathered his essentials. Donning his long coat and boots, he then proceeded to the Rapier's display, lifting the trusted weapon from its wooden respite. He then kneeled before the shelf below, pulling the tactical box of materia toward himself.
He equipped his armlet and sword with his master-level lightning and fire spells, then gazed upon the two summons he obtained over the years. Grasping them both, he placed them inside of his coat. Perhaps, he thought, they'd finally come in handy.
There was just one more thing.
Resting on the coffee table - beside a pot of bloomless lilies - was a small, off-white book, adorned with golden foil embellishments. The SOLDIER picked it up with his gloved hand, briefly gazing at its worn cover. This, too, went into a pocket inside his coat.
Before exiting, he glanced around the room one last time - memories flashing like snapshots in his mind. Angeal was in the kitchen, having brought him another home-cooked meal. Sephiroth was on the sofa, holding a glass of wine, waiting for him. He'd spent so much time here - and now, just under two weeks from his twenty-third birthday, everything was changing.
He willed his thoughts to quell - though for a moment, he remembered what it felt like leaving Banora, nearly four years prior...
This felt nothing like that.