He didn't understand. Hector didn't understand any of this at all, and it hurt. It wasn't a physical pain, but it was almost more terrifying.
He was confused. Why weren't Adira and Quirin hurting him? He kept on messing up. He attacked them. They were trying to help him, and all he did was fight and resist them.
Adira gave up her bed, her whole room, even though she clearly liked her privacy and didn't like him. She had to want something in return, but she wouldn't tell Hector what. Or maybe she had told him, and he was too stupid to pay attention and listen.
Hector wished that he knew what Adira wanted from him. Why hadn't she gotten mad at him for leaving her room? Why hadn't she tried to attack her with those other boys? More than that, why had she attacked them to defend him?
And Quirin, he tried to protect Hector, and he said that the reason why was just because he wanted to. He didn't like to see Hector in pain, and he didn't understand why.
Quirin stood up to his master, or whoever that man was. He'd placed himself between the scary man and Hector, and said that he wouldn't let him hurt him. Quirin could have gotten himself hurt and in really bad trouble, all for Hector's sake, and he didn't understand it.
Why did Adira help him? Why did Quirin protect him? Why did they bring somebody in who was nice, and gentle, and gave Hector gross stuff that made him feel absolutely incredible and take all the pain away? Why were there so many people who asked him about his injuries and home, and yet they didn't get mad at him for not saying anything? Hector was used to his father getting furious at him for not answering questions, or not answering them good enough. These people asked so many more questions, but they hadn't punished him once for not answering.
At home there were rules that Hector needed to follow. Sometimes the strictness on the rules, or sometimes even the rules themselves, changed from day to day, but the rules were still there. If Hector did what he was supposed to do, then he wouldn't be punished…or at least he'd be punished less.
But Hector didn't know those rules here. How was he supposed to do what was expected of him if he didn't know what they wanted in the first place? What was he supposed to do to stop punishments? Sure, he hadn't been punished yet, but Hector would be a fool if he thought that it would never happen.
It was weird here though. If Hector flinched and whined because he was in pain, the doctor would give him more medicine. If he growled and snapped at people because he wanted to be left alone, they gave him space. If he clung to someone's hand because he was scared of being by himself, they would sit on the bed with him and let him nuzzle against them as long as he wanted to.
Whenever Hector did anything wrong, they just treated him with kindness, and it didn't make sense. Even when Hector shouted and tore off the shirt that Quirin's mom had given to him, because he really didn't like the way that it rubbed against his skin, she didn't get mad at him for being ungrateful. She just got him a different shirt, one that was softer and looser than the other one had been.
Hector appreciated all these things, but he almost wished that people wouldn't be so nice, because it was far too confusing and he didn't know what he was supposed to do about it.
Hector had been brought to a large room near where Quirin and his mom stayed, but it wasn't either of their rooms. As far as Hector knew, this wasn't anybody else's room. He felt a little bit better about it. It was one less thing that he had to worry about owing to people.
Hector had felt uncomfortable in this room at first, just because he was stuck here. He was always being watched by people, and if he tried to get up they would push him back down on the bed and say that he still wasn't strong enough.
Now Hector physically had his energy back. He was barely sore, and he was in the least amount of pain that he could ever remember being in. Back home, Hector would consider this a good day, at least physically, but…but…
Hector wasn't hurt, but he was in terrible pain. His chest felt numb and empty, and the thought of standing up and stretching his legs made that numbness stronger. He couldn't even find the will to roll over and get in a more comfortable position.
Hector felt exhausted, but he wasn't tired. He tried to sleep, but it didn't get anywhere. He ended up just lying there, staring blankly at the wall, unable to do anything else.
Hector was alone for the first time since he had been brought here. He should be taking advantage of this chance and leave, or at least find the others to ask them what they wanted, but he couldn't move.
He didn't know how long he just lay there. Eventually the door opened. Hector was facing away from the wall, but he didn't have to look to know that it was Quirin. Nobody else's footsteps sounded like his, hesitant and heavy. There was somebody else with him though. Hector didn't recognize the footsteps. This was somebody new, and it made him a little nervous and curious, but not enough to motivate him to turn around.
"Hector, are you up for a guest?" Quirin asked. "I have a friend that's been wanting to meet you."
Hector didn't really want to meet anybody. He didn't really want to be around anybody, whether he knew them or not, but he didn't think he wanted to be alone either. Since Hector didn't know what he wanted, he just let Quirin do what he liked.
It took a lot of internal battling for him to just shrug and mutter "Whatever." It was such an easy thing to do, so why did it feel like it took so much out of him?
Quirin sighed and came closer, walking around the bed until he was standing on the other side, right in front of him. Hector briefly shifted his gaze to look at Quirin before looking back at the wall.
"How are you feeling today?" Quirin asked. "Any pain?"
"I don't know." Hector said. He was in pain, yes, but it definitely wasn't physical and wasn't anything that Quirin could do anything about. And what if he got mad at Hector for lying about being in pain when he was just fine? But Hector couldn't just say that he was okay, because he wasn't, and Quirin always seemed to know when he wasn't being honest.
"Is there something I can do?" Quirin asked. Hector narrowed his eyes and clenched his fists around the blanket.
"I don't know." Hector said. He hated that he was using the same ridiculous answer.
"That's okay." Quirin reassured him, but Hector didn't believe him. How was it supposed to be okay? They were doing so much for Hector, and he couldn't even answer a simple question for them.
"So you're Hector." The stranger sounded like Hector had expected. His voice carried the same heavy confidence that his footsteps had. Hector didn't like this voice, and he didn't even know why. He rolled over to look towards the doorway. He was a young man, larger and older than Quirin was. Hector really didn't like the look in his eyes. It was a look that he frequently saw in his dad's eyes. It was a look that said 'I know best, and I dare you to even think about challenging me.'
"Who're you?" Hector scowled. Maybe it was foolish to use this tone with somebody who had that look in their eyes, but Hector couldn't bring himself to care. If he got punished for this, well, at least he would know at least some of the rules that everybody refused to talk about.
"Ah, of course." The young man nodded in a type of bow. Hector had no idea how somebody could take a submissive gesture and make it look like it was a way of showing off their power. "I am Prince Edmund, son and heir of King Alistair of the noble house of-"
"Whatever, Eddie." Hector cut in. He rolled over again to stare at the ceiling. He was not in the mood to listen to the prince go on about how important he and his family were. Hector just didn't care about it.
Edmund made an offended sound, and Hector couldn't help but smirk. At that moment he didn't care if he was punished for this. He may have been disrespectful, but he really didn't want to nod his head and let somebody say that they were in charge of him just because.
Hector didn't know how to do things when he wasn't trying to please others, but he still didn't want to go back to before. He didn't want to go back to not being as important as somebody else, or not being treated like he was a human.
Hector was a person. He had to be, because he had a name, and clothes, and now his own room and a bed to use. These were things reserved for people. Not beasts. Not demons. Hector still thought there was something wrong with him, because he didn't act anything like everybody else did, but he was still a person. He was still Hector, and he didn't want to let this prince take that from him.
Quirin chuckled and brushed Hector's hair out of his face. He closed his eyes and leaned in to the touch. Hector was reluctant to be in contact with anybody, but gentle touch just felt too good to resist. And maybe it would be easy for the grip on his hair to turn harsh in just a moment, but getting his hair pulled was nowhere near as bad as getting his bones broken. Hector would gladly accept the risk of getting his hair pulled if it meant having a little bit of a gentle touch.
"Well, I can see why Adira likes him." Edmund huffed irritably. He sounded like he was trying to be mad, but he didn't quite get there. Hector found his tone humorous, as he much preferred it to the slightly superior tone that Edmund had before, but the prince's words confused him. Why did he say that Adira liked him? There was no way that Adira liked anything about Hector. She was far too annoyed with him, and looked for any reason to avoid him.
Hector wished that things made more sense. Why couldn't people's words match what they did and what Hector saw?
"Me and Edmund were about to go to training, and I was wondering if you wanted to join us." Quirin said. "I don't want you to push yourself, and you don't have to join us if you don't want to, but I thought you might want to get out of this room and learn how to defend yourself."
"From what I heard, he's already pretty good at defending himself." Edmund commented. "What your friend needs to learn is control."
Hector scratched at the blanket. Was he supposed to defend himself, or was he supposed to have control and fight against what his instinct told him to do? He couldn't do both. It just wasn't possible.
Was it always confusing to be a human? Or was Hector just so bad at it that things that came naturally to others felt impossible for him?
Hector didn't answer for a long moment, but Quirin waited patiently. When it was clear that he wasn't going to leave without an answer of some kind Hector sighed. "I can come."
"I didn't ask if you would." Quirin frowned. "I asked if you wanted to."
Hector blinked and tilted his head to look numbly at Quirin. Why did he sound unhappy? Hector had answered his question, hadn't he? Had the answer not been good enough? What did Quirin want from him?
"I can come." Hector repeated, because he didn't know what else he was supposed to say. Quirin looked like he was about to argue, but Edmund cut in.
"Come on, then." Edmund said. "My trainers don't like it when we're late." That just didn't make sense to Hector. If they were running late, why did they come in here to talk to him first?
Then again, there had been multiple times when Hector's father was running late for something, but he still took the time to punish Hector for something he'd done wrong. Hector didn't understand why he was worth being late for, but it is was something that his father, Quirin, and Edmund all did, then it had to be a normal thing that Hector only didn't understand because he was too stupid to.
Hector sat up and pushed off the blankets to get to his feet. His knee was a little sore, but he was tired of just being in bed. Hector grabbed his fur vest, inspired by Quirin's. It was his favorite clothing item. He'd always liked the way that fur felt.
Hector followed Quirin and Edmund out of the room, grimacing at the cold floor. He still refused to wear shoes. They felt restricting and painful. Maybe most people wore shoes, but he wasn't quite ready for that step yet.
Quirin tried to talk to Hector as they went, but he tuned the older boy out. He knew that Quirin was just trying to make simple, casual conversation, but Hector didn't see the point. He was still getting used to the thought that it was okay to talk. The thought of talking just for the sake of it, just for fun, it was odd and overwhelming.
Hector was a little nervous about going back down the stairs towards the rooms where Hector had that confrontation with the other boys. He didn't want to get in trouble again. He didn't want to be yelled at or attacked for being in the wrong room. That was what happened back home, and Quirin promised him it wouldn't happen here.
Hector didn't completely trust Quirin, and he especially didn't trust the other boys.
It was a relief when he saw that nobody else was there. Not even the scary man who trained the other boys was there. Of course, now Hector was just confused. Hadn't Edmund said that their trainers were waiting for them?
Hector didn't question Edmund about it though. He knew better than to question someone when it was obvious that their word didn't make sense. Hector was punished for so much, and he didn't understand most of it. If he did understand it, if it made sense, then he did what he was supposed to.
Quirin and Edmund immediately started fighting, and it was weird to watch. It looked like they were trying to hurt each other, but they also looked like they were having fun, and neither of them went for the easy shots.
Hector could see that Edmund was favoring his right side, and it would be far too easy for Quirin to take advantage of that, but he didn't. As for Quirin, he was fighting distracted. He would frequently glance in Hector's direction, letting his guard down as he did so. Edmund should be able to get a strong hit across the head or chest during those moments, something that would daze Quirin and make it easier to get even more hits in, but he didn't go for it. Neither of them did.
Edmund called this training, but they weren't improving. They weren't looking for their flaws and ways to get better. They were pulling their punches. They weren't holding their defenses. They were just…Hector didn't know what they were doing.
The really weird thing was that they both looked like they knew what they were doing, they just weren't doing it. They were both balanced on their feet, and moved around each other like they were dancing. They put their whole bodies behind their attacks, and immediately adapted to sudden changes.
You look confused." Hector jumped when he heard a voice behind him. He whipped around and instinctively swiped his hand, fingers curled into a claw. His wrist was effortlessly caught by the captain, and Hector froze. He was sure that he was going to be punished, either for attacking the captain, or for being stopped so easily.
"I know I look scary, but I won't hurt you." The captain let go of his hand. Hector growled and drew back protectively. The captain didn't move to attack him, he just looked towards Edmund and Quirin. "What do you think about their fight?"
"Sloppy." Hector answered without a moment's hesitation. The captain was probably testing him. Hector pointed at Quirin, who had dropped his stance and was giving his full attention to them. Edmund didn't just lower his arms, he almost tripped over his own feet as he pulled back a hit that would have hit Quirin straight on. "They don't try."
"Oh, they try." The captain said. "They're just having a hard time committing. All of my trainees struggle with this. They don't want to hurt their friends, and I don't want them to hurt each other, but it means they end up holding back. It's especially true for close friends like Quirin and Edmund."
Hector frowned. "Want to be warriors?"
"Yes, all of my trainees are trying to be knights." The captain said. "And it is Edmund's responsibility to know how to fight so he can properly lead and protect."
"How…how can they protect if they don't try?" Hector didn't understand. He didn't often stand up to his father or protect himself, but when he did he gave it everything he had. Maybe he cheated or fought dirty, and did things that other people thought were wrong, but he did what was necessary.
Protection meant keeping something safe. Safety wasn't just given away for free. It had to be fought for with everything that one had. Even Hector, who had no idea how to keep himself safe, knew that.
The captain was watching Hector with an odd look in his eyes. Hector didn't like it, just because he didn't understand it. Hector was already dealing with far too many things that he didn't understand. He didn't want this potentially dangerous man to be something else that he had to try to figure out.
Hector was so tired of trying to figure out what was going on. He didn't really want to go home, he just wished that things made sense.