DING~DONG! DING~DONG! DING~DONG!
"Wakey~wakey! Eggs & bac~on!" Klaus sang, ringing Grace's golden meal bell as he roamed the halls of his childhood home early the next morning, feeling much better than he had the previous day. Of course, that wasn't hard, especially when y'know, he'd come back from the dead. "Rise and shine, you lil' shits! Time for break~fast!"
Skipping down the hallway with bell in hand, Klaus moved from empty room to empty room, peering in through the open doors as he searched for any of his family members. In the end, Five was relatively easy to wake, despite his dance with death the night before. Whatever had happened had left him passed out in his bed with an IV line inserted into his forearm and a patch of gauze tape to his side. It was about the softest Klaus had ever seen his brother; especially since he had returned. Pausing in the doorway for a moment, Klaus stood and watched as his brother's chest gently rose & fell, reminding him that he was alive.
His gaze then roved around the room, taking in the childish bedroom which hadn't changed since Five had left in the first place. Well, that wasn't quite true; there was one thing that had changed and that change belonged to the porcelain mannequin sat next to Five's bedside, whom his brother had named Dolores and claimed as his wife. She was curled up on the floor, swaddled in blankets and her shiny bald head glistened beneath the lamplight of the bedside table. Klaus didn't know why it made him smile; perhaps because it was something so childish and Five had never been that.
"…What d'you want, Klaus?" Five groaned as he propped himself up into a half-hearted seating position against the headboard.
"Wow…! You look like shit!" Klaus grinned as he shook off his stupor, obnoxiously waving the bell in his hand as he gestured with his hands. Still, his eyes tracked his brother's movements as he slowly yanked the covers off, swung his legs out of bed and disconnected himself from the IV bag with practised hands.
"Thanks" Five replied dryly, only pausing in his actions to spare Klaus a withering look before he slipped from the bed and move to pull on a pair of the Umbrella Academy-sanctioned pyjamas (freshly pressed thanks to Mom).
"So this must be the famed Dolores!" Klaus teased as he pattered into the room and came to a stop next to the mannequin, petting her head as he did so.
"Leave her alone!" Five grunted distractedly as he tried to pull his shirt on without irritating his wounded side. Klaus childishly pouted at the lack of response from his smallest brother. "Klaus! What is it?"
"Oh! Important business!" Klaus brightened as he shuffled back out of the door, intent on waking up the others still in the house. "Meet me downstairs in the scullery soon, okay?"
"Morning, my dear" Once Klaus was gone, Five looked over at Dolores who was just beginning to stir. Heaving a tired sigh, Five made his way over to her waking form where he gently caressed her head, smiling fondly as she woke.
("G'morning…" Dolores yawned as she woke to Five's smile).
"Well, back to the daily grind, eh Dolores?"
DING~DONG! DING~DONG! DING~DONG!
Luther was a litter harder to rouse from the bed, due in part to the almighty hangover from last night's rave and his sleeping partner who clung to his arm like it was a teddy bear. But he was good fun to tease anyhow. Klaus was amused to note, that much like Five, Luther too had shared his bed that night with a woman; only Luther's had been animated (although whose to say what kind of fun one could have with a mannequin?)
"Luther…!" Klaus prodded at the door, getting incessantly more annoying with each tap ignored.
"Nngh!" Luther groaned as he came to, waking to the sound of his brother at the door. The birdsong at the window thundered in his mind like the crashing of cymbals and the woman on his arm was as delicate as the porcelain skin she wore.
DING~DONG! DING~DONG! DING~DONG!
"Wakey, wakey!" Klaus sang irritatingly loud. "Eggs and bacon!"
"Klaus?" Luther squinted as he stumbled out of the door, duvet wrapped around his bare waist.
"Oh, there's the man!" His brother brightened as he came to greet him. "Someone pulled a disappearing act last night! What sort of mischief did you get into?"
"What?" Luther grunted, brows furrowed in pain against the ache pounding in his head. "I—I didn't"
"Oh no?" Klaus quirked a brow at the obvious lie. He'd been there and seen the whole ordeal at the rave, afterall. "Maybe I should ask her. Hello!"
"Ah!" Luther gasped sheepishly as he hurried to close the door, blocking Klaus' view of the girl as she woke.
"Hehe~! Oh, c'me on, don't be so shy, big guy!" Klaus chuckled brightly at his brother's awkward waddle, "You needed it! Not a lot of ladies up on the moon, I'd assume, and all that…pressure resting on those big…hairy shoulders—"
"—Klaus, enough" Luther interjected, already tired of his brother's incessant rambling.
"Wait—! Was this, like…? Is this your…?" Klaus' eyes widened as he left the question hanging, though Luther knew exactly what he was referring to.
"…" Luther shuffled awkwardly as a violent flush covered his cheeks and he found himself suddenly unable to meet Klaus' eye.
"Ah! No way! Whoo—!" Klaus celebrated as he danced in a circle.
"We are not having this discussion!" Luther tried to shut down the conversation before it had even begun. He had never been one too involved with the provocative scene, unlike Number Four who seemed to live for that kind of life.
"—He popped his cherry!" Klaus continued on unbothered. "Ooh! Now you're gonna have to marry her!"
"Would you keep your voice down?" Luther hissed, making sure that the door was closed shut behind him so that his bedmate could not hear what they were saying.
DING~DONG! DING~DONG! DING~DONG!
"Hey, y'know I remember my first time…" Klaus hummed pleasantly, "My first was Sawyer, oh! I remember it so well! Like it was yesterday! That night under the neon lights, the air thick with booze and me with Sawyer…! Or was it Sammy? Sophie? Sandra? Yeah! Sandra—it was Sandra!…Or was it Sasha? Oh, who knows! Anyway, it started with an 'S'!"
"…Klaus. What is it?" Luther asked, not quite sure how they had gotten to this point in the conversation, but he was more than happy to flee from it as quick as possible.
"What? Oh! The…" Klaus shook himself out of his stupor with ease as he returned to the task at hand. "Uh, important family business! Meet me downstairs in the scullery, okay? And Luther? No dilly-dallying, all right? Chop-chop!"
DING~DONG! DING~DONG! DING~DONG!
The last person Klaus came across was his nephew, Theodore, whom he found snoozing fast asleep in the bathtub of the second-floor bathroom; the same that Klaus liked to frequent (or he used to). One soapy leg had been propped up on the lip of the clawed bath near the steel-lain taps whilst his cast-bound arm draped itself over the other side and his head was titled back against the rim. Large mounds of soapy bubbles blanketed the surface of the frigid waters and decorated his figure in a blanket of bubbles; including a Tutankhamen goatee upon his chin.
"…That was HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU? by Michael Bolton on the Saturday Night Jukebox! Next up we've got fantastic tracks from My Chemical Romance, Rihanna and Coldplay that will get you in the mood for the noughties! So stayed tuned! But first, here is the latest news surrounding our famed city…" A battered cellphone sat nestled amongst the folds of the embroidered towels which sat upon the counter and prattled out some throwback-slash-nostalgia-filled radio station. It was the sounds of My Chemical Romance's TEENAGERS that greeted Klaus as he padded into the bathroom where his nephew lay snoozing.
DING~DONG! DING~DONG! DING~DONG!
At first, Klaus could have sworn that Theodore was dead since he didn't so much as twitch when he pranced into the bathroom and noisily shook the golden bell in his air. And thanks to the amount of bubbles filling the now cold tub, it was hard to tell if he was even breathing unless Klaus peered close enough to discern as such through the bubbles. (In doing so, Number Four noted the circular birthmark which was so like Vanya's, imprinted there on his collarbones). Well, that would have been the case, if he didn't count the window-rattling snores that buzzed from his nephew's lips as he slept in that rather awkward—but seemingly comfortable—position.
"Rise and shine sleepy~head!" Klaus sang, shaking his nephew's soapy shoulder with one hand and vigorously ringing the bell in the other.
"…I'm h'vlad…" Theodore grumbled as he absently swatted at the persistent hands pandering at him to get up. Turning over, he tried to swat away his uncle's hands before falling back into the delicious arms of sleep.
Which would have been totally fine if said nephew hadn't subconsciously accessed his Legacies and telekinetically sent said perky uncle flying back down the hallway where he collapsed onto the perfectly placed old love seat just sitting there. For once Klaus was glad for his father's eccentric interior decorating tastes, if only because it saved him from further injury & embarrassment. He did not particularly feel like spending another six to eight weeks wired & cast-bound in some sort of contraption, just as he had done when he was younger.
"Nngh! What just happened?" Klaus groaned as he propped himself up onto his elbows and rolled his head back towards the bathroom where Theodore had slipped beneath the rim of the porcelain tub.
("You just got bitch-slapped by a twelve year old" Ben helpfully replied as he came up to see what was taking his brother so long. Dad usually ran such a tight ship that he didn't see why those habits hadn't remained even as they years as passed).
"Oh, ha-ha" Klaus deadpanned, sending his brother a withering look as he clambered to his feet and made his way back down the hallway; although much more cautiously this time around.
"Hurk—!" Theodore coughed and spluttered as he suddenly shot up from the soapy water, making Klaus jump a little in surprise at the sudden reappearance.
As it turned out, when his nephew had rolled over in his sleep, he had forgotten that he naked in a bathtub and so his head easily slipped from the lip of the bathtub & back under the water without (much) complaint. The only miracle seemed to be that his cast had somehow mercifully stayed dry as he gripped onto the edges of the tub as he went under. So at the very least, Theodore wouldn't have to worry about unravelling the fibreglass bandages or replacing them with another set, just yet.
"Have a nice paddle there, Teddy Bear?" Klaus grinned, inwardly enjoying the way his words unintentionally rhymed as he padded back into the tiled bathroom. There, he found his nephew hunched over in the tub with his knees poking out of the water as he tried to (seemingly) hack and cough up his lungs, following his impromptu dip. Ben trotted after his brother, bypassing him as he made his way over to the sinks and where he easily leapt up onto the counter next to the towels, situating himself there like a cat in the sun.
"D-Don?" Theodore coughed, his voice sounding thick with sleep and raspy from the sudden bout of coughs. His freckled cheeks were painted red as he eventually regained his breath and sheepishly redistributed the bubbles to cover up his nether regions. "What—what is it?"
"Oh, oh, oh! Important family business!" Klaus replied rock back & forth on his heels as he answered; gesturing wildly with the bell to (unwittingly) emphasise his point. "Meet down in the scullery, okay? And Theodore? No dilly-dallying!"
("Klaus!" Ben scolded his brother as a disgusted look crawled over his expression, knowing exactly what his dirty-minded brother was alluding to. "He's twelve years old!")
"…What's your point?" Klaus blinked as he turned to his brother with a blank expression. "Don't you remember what we were like at that age?"
("Yeah" Ben scoffed, "You were rolling joints at the dinner table—")
"—And you were mooning over the Sunflower Girl at Powell's!"
("What? No! Shut up!")
"What's wrong, Benny boy? Embarrassed?"
Theodore, for his part, just yawned widely and wiped the soap out of his eyes as he listened to the one-sided conversation with a mixture of amusement and confusion.