A/N: For those of you who aren't familiar with my one-shot series, I gave MerDer some time between his return and the accident. That's where the flashbacks take place in this chapter.
When will you see that Stephanie
She's not for you, she's just someone
Taking you home, giving you some
Maybe someday you'll see
Ooh, all the signs I left around for you
If you knew how many times I turned into a fool over you
If you knew how many hours my mind spent on you
Yeah, I know it's crazy
Yeah, I know it's crazy, I'm a fool for you
You, ooh-ooh-ooh, oh, oh, ooh-ooh
Fool for you, I, oh
Pink - LÉON
She didn't want to live without him. She told him that.
He couldn't live without her. He told him that.
So now, they had to work at it. Rebuild trust. If there was any left to rebuild.
"We were fighting, we were," Derek sighed, "We were at each other's throats over moving to D.C. and we were…"
He paused as he thought back to all the fights they had gone through over the last few months. The moment she said she was staying. The moment he told her he had turned down the job. The moment he hurt her and said she sounded like her mother. The moment she pushed him out and told him to go. The moment he left.
"I was cruel and I said things and-I did something that she will never forgive me for," he closed his eyes, "I-I just can't seem to-"
"Derek," Wyatt leaned forward, "Why did you let your guard down? Why did you let it happen?"
He stared at the therapist in front of him. The woman who had slowly torn apart every broken aspect of their marriage and inspected all it's flaws.
"I hit rock bottom."
"What does that mean?"
"It wasn't enough. My wife, my family, my sister, my career. I was on a high and I let my pride blind me of seing that it was more than enough."
"What does Nick Marsh have to do with anything?" Meredith asked incredulously, "Shouldn't' the question be if I even want to take the job?"
Derek turned to her surprised at her assumption, "Do you want to take the job?'
"I-I," she sighed, "It is a huge opportunity. I can't say it isn't."
"You still haven't answered the question," Derek observed, "Do you want to take the job?"
"The minute I told you I turned it down, you walked away after telling me to take it! " He closed his eyes as he attempted to keep his composure.
"You wanted to take the job! You saw an opportunity and you left-"
Derek shook his head, "I stayed because I wanted to be with my wife and children, Meredith!"
"And you were walking around like it was this big sacrifice that you made and that we all had to thank you for your service!" Meredith pointed angrily from the opposite end of the couch.
"If this had been you- If -if you had been offered this same position, wouldn't you at least consider-"
Meredith sighed loudly, "That's not the point, Derek!"
"I don't-wait, what does Marsh have to do with anything?" Meredith deflected.
Wyatt stared her down, "He seems to be a common thread in your worries. Why is that I mentioned his name and you both-"
"Nick Marsh isn't a factor in any-"
"Derek?" the therapist looked at him. He had remained silent. He hadn't said a word. He didn't try to defend their marriage from the name Wyatt mentioned. He seemed to take a breath as his lips slightly parted as if he was mustering the courage to say something. He closed them again and let out a puff of frustration.
"Derek?" Meredith echoed, "What's going on?"
"Remember that day we were both in Minnesota and there was a pipe burst? We left as soon as we could because the kids-"
Meredith nodded, "What does that have to do-?"
"I saw the way he looked at you. The way he looks at you. The way he-"
Derek scoffed, "You pushed me to take it! Every single time you brought it up you pushed-"
"Do you think I wanted to push you out?" Meredith clenched her teeth as she placed two hands on the arm of the couch and leaned forward, "You going to D.C. was supposed to make things better not let you get distracted with some pretty young fellow!"
"Derek, he was my patient. I was his surgeon-"
"Meredith, you're smarter than that," he scoffed, "You see it too. You came to me the day of his surgery years ago and told me he spent the entire time flirting-"
"You have to be kidding me!" she stood from her seat angrily, "Derek, we talked about this!"
Wyatt's eyes shifted from one to the other.
Derek stood from his seat, "Meredith! Listen to what I'm saying. I can see exactly what's happening."
"Oh you always can, can't you?. I'm not you, Derek," she scoffed, "I'm not going to make the same mistakes you did in D.C."
Derek's eyes widened at the blow she threw.
Meredith made her way to the door, "I thought you knew me better than that."
The sound of the door thundered through the room.
He knew she was already in the room by the time he reached the doors of the conference room. Derek paused for a moment before opening them. The room was crowded with the heads of each surgical department. They all turned to briefly acknowledge his entrance. Except her.
Meredith didn't bother to turn to the door, instead, she remained focused on Bailey who stood at the head of the conference table.
"Keep your answers short and sweet. Focus on the success on the program," Bailey remained focused on her words but furrowed her brows as her eyes followed Derek sit across his wife.
Meredith swiveled in her chair slightly but remained focused on the chief, "Do we know what questions they are going to ask?"
"It's a complaint driven site visit," Richard cleared his throat, "So they'll want to check our case logs, observe our residents, review our curriculum and verify that we are all staying on top of our certifications
"Do we know who complained?" Maggie asked as she shuffled through the documents in her hand.
"Don't we have grand rounds? How are we supposed to show our teaching skills?" Winston added.
Teddy shook her head, "More importantly, what happens they're not impressed as much as you are?"
"The program goes under probation and the program could get shut down," Derek sighed, "Which will be on public record."
He briefly glanced at the woman in front of him but she kept her gaze on the papers. Meredith didn't bother looking up. And the anger seething through her veins was evident in her face.
"So we can lose our residents and our patients," Amelia asked from across the table.
Losing the residents would be a blow to the hospital. To its program and to their morale. Losing patients- though terrible as it sounded- meant losing money. Funding. Nurses, Doctors. The hospital would shut down and rebuilding it would be a nightmare all over again. And the veteran doctors at Grey Sloan knew exactly what that was like.
"No! Because we are going to show them who we really are," Bailey declared, "One of the top five teaching hospitals in the country with a world-renowned surgical program!"
Each attending nodded solemnly, understanding that she was asking them- no demanding- that they be exceptional. There was no room for error and she counted on them to ensure they did not fail. That they not fail the program.
"So go fill in your departments and your fellow attendings," the group quickly stood from their seats and shuffled out the room as Bailey continued to call out, "Now go impress somebody!"
Derek watched as Meredith gathered her paperwork and styrofoam cup and made her way out the room. They typical playful smile or glimmer of an eye that they'd throw at each other was no where to be found.
Derek turned his attention to Miranda, "You okay?"
"You are the only one who has asked me that today," Bailey shook her head with a shadow of a grateful grin.
"Yeah, well remember when the hospital lost it's ranking and Richard lost it? I'm just making sure you don't," he smiled gently. Some things never changed between the two. Miranda and Derek had always had a way of being able to be there for one another even when it was least expected.
"Might be a little too late for that," She scoffed as she gathered the documents and stuffed them in her portfolio, "But, I've got an ace up my sleeve today so I hope that helps."
Derek nodded, "Richard has his assessment today, he told you that right?"
"Wh-He's doing that today?" her eyes popped out as she stood in her place surprised.
"I'll take that as a no," Derek muttered before standing and making his way of the room, "To be fair, he's not in control of the schedule."
"Well then who the hell is? You know what I don't want to know," she shook her head as she watched him make his way to the door, "Hey hey, before you go-"
"What's up?" Derek turned back to look at her.
"You and Grey. You were off," she observed, "I gotta worry about the program, Richard, Hunt…Please tell me I don't have to worry about you two as well?"
Derek pressed his lips into a tight grin and walked out as he closed the door behind him.
Meredith walked down the halls as she made her way down to the elevator. She heard footsteps behind her and instantly recognized her.
"Okay, what was that?" Maggie asked.
"What was what?" Meredith asked as she remained focused on her path.
"You and Derek practically pretending you were nonexistent to each other," Amelia clarified, "I lived with you two, I know those glares."
"Hey, how's Owen?" Meredith asked as she tried to pivot the conversation.
"Stable. We start PT soon," Amelia nodded, "Now what the hell is going on between you and my brother?"
"I got offered a job in Minnesota," Meredith released a breathe at the reveal.
"Wait you got a what?" Maggie asked surprised at the revelation.
"You're kidding! What did my brother do? Did he freak out?" Amelia chuckled as she pictured her brother, "Oh my God, please tell me he freaked out!"
"He got offered one as well," Meredith elaborated, "On contingency that I accept."
Amelia smiled brightly, "Wow, take me with you! I mean technically I was a part of that groundbreaking surgery and I am pro Minnesota!"
"You are pro sex in Minnesota," Meredith looked at her pointedly, "Don't think we don't know about it."
The elevator doors opened and the trio of sisters stepped in. Maggie pressed the emergency stop button and turned to face her sisters.
"Wait," Maggie shook her head as she faced Meredith, "You are considering taking a job across the country while we are in the middle of our surgical program being-"
"Maggie, it's a once in a lifetime-" Amelia attempted to reason.
"No," Maggie shook her head, "It's not just any hospital."
Meredith furrowed her eyebrows, "Everyone in my residency class has taken other opportunities Maggie, I mean you didn't stay-"
"This hospital has your name all over it, Meredith," Maggie reasoned, "Residents apply for you. You fought Derek over that-"
Amelia raised her head at the mention of a long fought argument, "Maggie, we shouldn't-"
"No!" Maggie insisted, "I'm your sister. You're leaving me too."
"Weren't you the one talking to your husband about moving to Boston?" Meredith reminded her, "I didn't try to stop you did I?"
Maggie shook her head as she pressed the button to release the elevator, "Fine."
The elevator continued its path until it dinged at its destination. Maggie didn't bother to look back at her sisters as she stepped off as she muttered, "Excuse me, some of us are still loyal to this place and are trying to save it."
"Dr. Shepherd!"
His carefree, overly arrogant voice could be heard throughout the floor. Derek and Richard walked side by side as the met with the neurosergeon and neuroscientist from Minnesota.
"Dr. Hamilton, thank you for making the time for us," Derek shook his hand before reaching for the person next to him, "Dr. Bartley, good to see you again."
"I was surprised to see that Richard asked for me," David smirked as he turned to Webber.
Richard shook his head, "I wanted someone as unbiased as they come."
Derek smiled at Richard and smiled.
"And I'm an expert at judging people," David nodded before turning to Derek, "Have you and Dr. Grey-"
Derek's smile faded as he interrupted any further questions, "Um, we can talk about that-"
Richard glanced between the two neurosurgeons, "Talk about what?"
"They didn't tell you?" Hamilton turned between Richard and Derek. Clearly Richard was the one without all the information.
Derek pressed his lips together, suddenly feeling a wave of anxiety wash over him.
"Derek I thought by now you would've shouted this over the rooftops, you're shuffling your feet like when you told him you'd specialize in Neuro," Hamilton looked at him confused, "Dr. Grey and Dr. Shepherd-"
"David, now's not the best-" Derek gritted through his teeth.
"-have been offered a lucrative contract at The Clinic after their success with the trial." David finished with a beaming grin. He was gloating and he was proud of it. Richard remained baffled at the newly released information.
"Richard! I wanted to wish you luck," Amelia came running down the hallway she smiled as she noticed the tense looks between everyone, "What? What'd I miss?"
"We've had this fight before." Meredith slammed the door to his office as she stepped in.
"What fight?" Derek kept his eyes down on the tablet in his hand, his tone monotone and dismissive, "You walked out of Wyatt's office before we even had the chance to start one."
"I thought you trusted me," Meredith crossed her arms across her chest.
"I thought you trusted me!" Derek stood from his desk and pulled off his glasses, "I'm in there telling you exactly what is bothering me about this entire situation-"
"That's not what you were doing!" She shook her head, "You were in there cornering me-"
"Cornering you? Are you serious? That's not why we are in that damn office-"
"You've been snapping at me every time you so as much hear the name Nick!" Meredith yelled frustrated and agravated, "What the hell did I do to make you doubt me? Because as far as I'm concerned, I've done nothing!"
Derek pinched the bridge of his nose, "Meredith-"
"No, don't 'Meredith' me," she walked closer to his desk, "This is a decision that's between me and you. That affects our family- that affects Zola and Bailey and Ellis- and you're doubting me? That's what you're factoring in?"
"I don't doubt you, Meredith," he looked up as he walked around the desk, "I doubt him! I'm not blind, I'm not an idiot!"
The door creaked open as Bailey walked in. She paused as she took in the scene. The couple faced each other. Eyes darkened with rage and jealousy. Shoulders tense, arms crossed, both with grimaces filled with regret at being walked in on.
Bailey sighed deeply and shook her head, "Uh, whatever you two got going on here is gonna have to wait, Grey I need you."
Meredith glanced at Derek and walked out of the room leaving Bailey at the door, "I told you I didn't need to worry about you two, didn't I?"
"A Xenotransplant? When did you schedule this?" Meredith stared at the tablet fascinated at the details on the chart. Her eyes lit with excitement and she welcomed the distraction even if it was momentarily.
"A few days ago we got a request," Bailey giggled, "Our patient was apparently a match and his wife donated his body to science so, voila! They'd like to do the surgery here. Today!"
"That's impressive," Meredith grinned as they both made their way down to the surgical wing.
"Right?" Bailey beamed, "I'm gonna need you to oversee the residents during grand rounds. The attending has privileges but he is a visiting-"
"You got it!" Meredith nodded enthusiastically, "Who's the attending on this?"
"I am," Dr. Marsh stepped towards them, "Dr. Grey, it's good to see you."
"Oh you've gotta be kidding me."
A/N: Remember how Derek searched for jobs in Mass. Gen. so Meredith could take that job in Boston? *sigh* I am certain that if the coin had been reversed and Mer was in Der's position in season 11, we would all be cheering for Mer to take the job because she's the protagonist and that's what's supposed to happen. Which is why it makes it so damn complicated, right? Ugh, I miss these two.
Let me know your thoughts!