Chapter 195
June 21st, 2022
Rory inhaled deeply, trying to imagine how oxygen filled her lungs to the max as per instructions. It was challenging already, as it seemed she only really had half of her lung capacity to use presently whenever she tried to climb a flight of stairs. Sitting with her back straight like she was now, helped a little.
While she was definitely rediscovering the joys of pregnancy - how her skin glowed, the increased libido which she really wasn't complaining about and the little kicks that were like little reminders of there actually being a person inside of her, there were the little inconveniences she was beginning to experience too. Going to the bathroom every hour was survivable, just annoying. But her back and feet aching at the end of the day, round ligament pain, her stamina not quite being what it normally was - those were bringing her mood down more and more. She'd also had a few times where her blood pressure had acted up and been accompanied by a nasty headache. It didn't help that Em was now on her summer break as well and boy, did the girl have energy and honestly Rory could barely keep up with her.
So there Rory was - at a prenatal Yoga class, trying to at least get into better shape for the sake of the small chance she could have this baby naturally. It didn't hurt if it helped her look better for her wedding of course either. She'd been also suggested to try natural methods in decreasing her blood pressure so she hoped this might be considered one of them. And she also knew it was not like the fourth trimester was going to be a lot easier - memories from when Em was a baby reminding her how one's muscles ached from all sorts of weird places from carrying a baby around or from breastfeeding. Baby-minding took energy. In a way it was like getting ready for a marathon and the Gilmore's weren't exactly known for their exercising.
"And exhale," the yoga class instructor continued, Rory having for a moment forgotten herself in her thoughts. That whole meditative part of this class wasn't really working for her, her mind still working double duty.
They were seated in a Bound Angle Pose, which was supposed to stretch her groin muscles and tone muscles used for labor, on top of several other benefits the instructor had listed earlier.
Rory complied, trying to make the exhale a really long one because she knew it was when the baby was getting the most oxygen - it was something she'd read when she'd been expecting Em. Sometimes when she did that, she'd kick her and it was still fun to do something to cause a response from her. Luisa? Nora? Etta? June? - her mind kept thinking of baby names, but nothing quite seemed right.
"Keep holding, and inhale again," the soothing voice continued.
Rory inhaled again.
"I'm grounded, relaxed and open like a lotus blossom," the instructor repeated the mantra, making Rory frown. She was never much for such figurative impressions, especially when essentially what these exercises were doing was assuring these women mostly mentally that one wouldn't tore too badly during labor. No matter how many times she did this the idea of a lotus flower was not taking that idea out of her mind, and it was just leading her to think how this was all a big hoax to stop women from panicking. She at least had some experience under her belt unlike many of these mothers-to-be she was sitting in this room with. She sometimes overheard these women talk about hypnobirthing and something called the Bradley Methods, like labor was something beautiful and peaceful which honestly just made her want to groan.
"And last… move to your better side, and use your pillows to make yourself comfortable," the instructor continued, calmingly. Rory placed the pillow between her legs, while she kept her hand on her bump. She put her other elbow under her head and closed her eyes according to the instructions. They all breathed calmly, audibly, as this was supposed to be a connecting exercise.
"And we're done ladies, thank you," the instruction said after a few minutes, Rory having nearly dozed off. "And don't forget we're starting a discussion group next Monday at 7 PM, which we recommend to those expecting their first ones especially, but everyone is very welcome as the more variety in experience we have to share the better. This one is just for the moms," she added with a wink. Rory could imagine what the group was about - likely descriptions of birth and the recovery after - not exactly something she was eager to discuss.
Rory heaved herself up, put her glasses back on and got her water bottle from the window sill, and took a large sip, and was already beginning to check her phone, when someone approached her.
"So do you think you're going?" a small, blond-haired woman asked. It took Rory a moment to realize she actually knew her, the way her hair was pulled back and she did look like she'd gained some weight, having made it difficult to note before now.
"Um, I'm not sure," Rory replied, not really wanting to transfer her skepticism over to others. Just because she didn't have the most positive outlook towards labor and just wanted it over with, didn't mean she wanted to bring others down. "Heidi, was it?" Rory tried to recall her name. They'd gone to Stars Hollow High for a few years together, and during the summer she'd lived at home more recently, she'd seen her around town as a part of the 30-something gang. Though her mother probably knew her better than she did, since she'd done the books for them for a while.
"That's right. And you're Rory, I remember you," Heidi said, fidgeting with her ThermoFlask.
"So you're also in Hartford now?" Rory asked, trying to make friendly chit-chat.
"Yeah, I've been here for a few months now. Finally moved together with my boyfriend, he works here," Heidi explained.
"Oh, cool," Rory commented, not really knowing what else to say. But it was clear Heidi was eager to interact.
"So do you live far from here?" Heidi inquired. Had it been someone she didn't know from before - someone who hadn't known about her less than linear path in life, her little mid life crisis in 2016 included which had been public knowledge around Stars Hollow, she would've been very skeptical to give out any such information, especially since the interview had come out. After it had been published, its content remaining pretty positive all things considered, there had been a bunch of similar calls for follow-up interviews and also many of their friends and family who had called them they'd seen the news. Logan had even as a precaution registered his smaller company to another address just in case people were to get too nosy. Rory had never even considered something like that being a thing.
"I'm pretty close by, walking distance," Rory commented.
"Lucky," Heidi replied. "I'm on Boulevard," she added, as they made their way out of the studio, thanking the instructor on their way out.
"I used to live on Boulevard," Rory suddenly felt a connection she couldn't not share. That was quite a coincidence.
"Oh, really? I'm just by the Sedgwick Middle School," Heidi explained.
Rory knew the area quite well.
"It's pretty nice, but I kind of miss home sometimes," Heidi added before Rory could really respond.
Rory knew well what she meant - it might have looked homey and all, but Hartford had none of that friendliness, sometime over-friendliness, that Stars Hollow had. When Rory had first moved here - it was something she'd liked, she wanted that anonymity and so did Jess. Now - anonymity was more of a necessity, but she wouldn't have minded having a friendly neighbour whom she could just ask to watch Em for an hour if she needed to. Their neighbours across the street had two huge dogs and a high security fence, making it very clear they did not want to interact, and the neighbours next to them were an older couple who seemed to be in need of assitance more themselves, considering they had a private nurse.
"I was closer to Quaker Lane," Rory shared.
"Oh, cool," Heidi nodded, casually, stopping by her car that was parked just off the curb. "Hey, listen - I don't know if you're interested, but maybe we could meet up sometime outside of class. I don't really know a lot of people around here," she added. Heidi was an energetic girl, if Rory recalled correctly she'd been a cheerleader with Lane even, but she hadn't quite been the average brainless bimbo either if she recalled one of her presentations from her History class back then. Frankly, the only thing that was making her hesitant now was wondering how much of this sudden interest towards her was genuine. Old fears being replaced with new ones, perhaps?
"Um, sure, why not," Rory shrugged, and continued to suggest she find her on Facebook.
"Okay, see you!" Heidi waved her off, smilingly, as Rory aimed to walk home as it really was very close and the weather was nice.
It was then Rory finally glanced down at her phone properly, noting that she had actually gotten a missed call, and an e-mail explaining that same call. She stopped in her path and read through the e-mail, and then read it again.
Rory could already feel the panic rising in her. It should've been a positive message, but whatever benefit this yoga class had done on her blood pressure, this was not having that hoped reaction on her.
The 15-minute walk home, that should've been an enjoyable one, was certainly not that. She made a bee-line across the grass in front of their house, not bothering with the pavement. As she got there, she was panting.
"Logan?" she called out, her heart racing, and swung the door closed behind her with a thump.
There was no reply until she repeated it again a little louder, her first response being Loki's weak bark from the back yard, the back door to her study open to the outside, letting her believe the three must've been out back as they often were. Logan had been already invested greatly into their backyard living, havin repaved the back porch in the past few weeks and had a pergola installed to give the area some shade. There were even plans to build a pool, but they'd decided to leave it until next year, and installed the best frame pool for the time being, simply not wanting someone digging up their backyard while they already had so much on their plate. It was in that pool Em was now, splashing away while Logan sat out by the garden table with his laptop.
"Logan? What is this?!" Rory huffed quietly, showing him her phone with the e-mail open.
"Ah…," Logan let out a guilty exhale, seeing how angry she was.
It took him a moment to read it.
"Don't you have anything to say for yourself?!" she continued, glancing briefly around, hoping Em wasn't hearing this.
"I told you I'd send it to some people, and I wanted to send it before they published the interview. I only told them it was you after they'd shown their interest," Logan explained, trying to remain calm. "Come on, sit down - have some ice tea…," he began to suggest, knowing that reminding Rory how getting upset wasn't good for her was probably not going to go down very well right now.
"But it wasn't ready!" Rory said, sounding defeated and disappointed, and sank down next to him.
"Manuscripts are never ready, you know how it works. It's usually judged based on a couple of chapters," Logan tried to reason.
"Yeah but…," Rory wanted to argue.
"They just want to talk, what's the harm in hearing them out. You can always say 'no'...," Logan added, though he was pretty convinced that she shouldn't say 'no'. He knew what he'd done hadn't been ideal, but he'd indeed wanted to send Rory's manuscript about her grandmother off before the interview got out. And as Rory had had so much on her mind during those times, he had taken some liberties in sending parts of it off without asking her. He'd had good intentions but he'd also anticipated this outcome, hoping she'd see the good once the content of that letter truly registered with her.
"But..," Rory continued, feeling like she should be objecting. Of course Logan had her computer password and it had never been a proble for her before. But right now even his logic was hard to fight.
"Here," Logan handed his nearly full glass of ice tea to her, hoping she'd just drink it and calm down.
Rory, feeling sweaty and tired, gratefully took a long sip.
"Hey, I'm sorry for the way that I did it, but I'm not sorry I did…," Logan said. "You deserve to be read, and I swear they didn't know it was you until yesterday," he assured.
"It just felt… like an invasion of privacy," Rory exclaimed with a pout. Birdie had encouraged her to put her emotions into words more, and this was an attempt of that.
"If you don't want me on your computer, then I promise I'll stay out of it from now on," Logan said, raising his hands apologetically.
"It's not that.. It's just…," she began, taking another sip, having needed the drink. "That computer just has a lot of texts, not just that. There's stuff about Jess, Em, the draft of the first book…. Stuff about you..," Rory confessed.
"Stuff about me?" Logan asked, having not realized that. "I swear - I only looked at things in that 'Emily Gilmore' folder and went by the latest date," he added.
"Yeah, there's stuff about you too," Rory replied, humbly.
"Recent stuff?" Logan asked, curiously.
"Mostly ancient stuff… you know... like a diary of sorts," she sighed, not liking to admit it much. It sounded silly, childish. There were some more recent things, but nothing she wanted him to read. She'd just used them to process, as Birdie had suggested. And those really weren't for his eyes.
"Okay," Logan exhaled, definitely becoming a little curious. But he respected her privacy, at least aimed to respect it even more from now on.
"But seriously - I'm still mad at you," Rory pouted.
"Hey, that's your right. I was going to make Eton Mess but if you're not interested…," Logan tried to turn things around, teasingly. She was so cute when she was angry but he didn't want her to stay mad for long.
"That's not fair," Rory objected, already feeling her stomach grumble.
"But I do hope you take that meeting," Logan added, stood up from his place, and headed indoors to prepare the dessert he'd mentioned, leaving Rory outside with her thoughts, watching Em.
AN: Please do review, been missing your input. Also request are welcome concerning past scenes. Your previous requests are on a list of mine, but anything new?