Rule Sixteen | Expect the Unexpected

Bella couldn't sleep that night.

She couldn't sleep the next night either, with nerves alight and a flame burning in the hearth of her mind, she sat wary and watchful, eyes forever trained on her window and were her ears able to move, they would be standing as high as a hunting dog's. It wasn't like she was a stranger to sleepless nights, or weeks, depending on what was keeping her up - but it wasn't as if Bella enjoyed it either. The way the shadows would start to creep in and become that much darker, silhouettes hidden within them that she knew weren't real, yet she couldn't help that twitchy, manic part of her from staring at them with vicious ferocity.

Charlie noticed, begging the question of what's got you up all night?

He could hear her shuffling around her room when he got up to take a piss at two in the morning and ended up knocking, lips turned downward in melancholy to see Bella with her hackles raised and bloodshot eyes. Charlie thought it a demon chasing her, some relic of her time in 'captivity.' He was correct, somewhat, if one managed to squint at his assumption in the right light. That didn't stop him from worrying about her.

So that was why Bella had no classes on Monday and summarily earned herself a text from Alice around lunchtime, asking her where she was. Sick was Bella's reply, which garnered a bevy of questions revolving around 'Can ghouls get sick?' and 'Do you want me to bring you any food?'

The latter message was quickly amended with a succinct, 'Ignore that.'

Bella could barely find it in herself to reply, let alone pay attention to the Cullen's existence after seeing her little gift. She was stupefied, to put it plainly, and had spent far too much time glaring a hole into the cooler and the hand it held within.

It just didn't make any sense. She killed the woman's friend, traveling companion, whatever, and now… now she was sending Bella what? Love letters? A human hand does not a good gift make, even to most ghouls (or her, at least) and the immediate jump to what amounted to a cannibal's edible bouquet instead of… she didn't know, just a letter? A simple letter would have sufficed, and it would have been promptly burned and had its ashes scattered into the ocean.

Was this simply something vampires did? Hey, you killed my friend, want to run off into eternity together? Or… or was this the vampire equivalent of a booty call? Here's some food. Let's fuck?

No. No. That was absurd.

And she took great displeasure in eating the hand as well. Bella would be damned before she wasted food and fingers were her favourite, but that was beside the point. It's the thought that counts she told herself, and if she grumbled to herself the whole while then that was her way of coping with whatever the fuck this all was.

But, it was summarily decided that coming to Forks was either the greatest decision she'd ever made or the stupidest one. Because she'd been in the town for all of a month and a half and had already been introduced to the existence of vampires, whatever the hell Jacob was (which was something she was choosing to ignore, seeing how the whole Cullen thing went), and then officially inducted into a coven of all things which would have been incomprehensible as of, well, a month and a half ago. The greatest because of once more, all of the above. Bella would have been clueless about her immortality otherwise, which was something she was still doing her very best not to think about so as to stay the existential terror that threatened to strangle her, but it was still something she'd rather know about than not know about. That, and of all the vampires to run into the Cullens were probably her best bet. Judging by the way Alice described the majority of her species and seeing as Bella had been delivered a HandyGram just the other day, most vampires were considerably more mad than she was.

And that delivery vampire also happened to break into her home.

Quite expertly, she would admit. Victoria had managed to shimmy the lock on her window with finesse.

Bella continued to ruminate on how terribly interesting her life had become, which meant she was sitting in front of the television with a clenched jaw and stern gaze, completely dead to the outside world. She hardly noticed the knocking at the door, nor the buzzing of her phone next to her. It wasn't until Charlie got home and patted her on the shoulder that she left her little daze, looking up at him with a frown.

"Hey. What's up?"

"You've got friends from school here to visit you. Want me to send them home?"

"Huh?"

He jabbed his thumb over his shoulder, pointing at the door. "It's the Cullens. Couple of 'em are outside, though I didn't get their names." Shrugging a bit sheepishly, he smiled. "I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually."

"Thanks dad." Shooting to her feet, Bella teetered over for a moment before righting herself, walking over to the door with a curious expression and peeking outside. "Hey?"

"Carlisle says you can't get sick," Emmett whispered, and Bella stepped outside immediately, slamming the door shut behind her.

"Shut up. My dad is home, Emmett…. Alice?" Her voice raised. "Rosalie? Where's Jasper?"

"Hunting. Now spill, what's going on? Do you hate us again?"

"Is that why you guys are here? And no, no, I don't hate you guys. I'm just… dealing with something."

"Dealing with what?" Alice piped up, head tilted.

"Stuff. Personal stuff. Can we-" Pointing to the trees, Bella grimaced. "Can we walk and talk?"

"Sure, and… you don't hate us?"

"No!"

The only person there Bella felt she could turn to was Rosalie, who shrugged at her as if she didn't even know why she was there.

"That's a huge relief. So, what's going on?"

Pausing, Bella listened only to find no heartbeats nearby, at least none within earshot. She bit her lip, mulling over whether she should say anything before deciding to let it all out with a resounding, mental 'fuck it.'

"When I got home the other day there was a gift waiting for me."

"Is that such a bad thing?"

"It was a hand. A human hand, and there was a letter along with it."

It took her a second to realize the Cullen's had stopped, Alice's gaze distant as she was captured in a vision, while Emmett and Rosalie looked perturbed.

"Uh… is that a weird gift for a ghoul? We've run into you guys before but haven't sat down and talked, if you get what I mean," Emmett said, steadying Alice by the small of her back.

"I don't know! I've only been one for two years and I haven't really made a lot of friends along the way. Maybe one or two, but they were more acquaintances than anything. But Emmett, Rosalie, uh- Alice? Listen, it was from-"

"-Victoria."

Everyone turned to Alice, and Bella grit her teeth. "Yes. Victoria. She was… friends with that guy I ran into on Friday."

"What the hell did the letter say?"

"It didn't really say anything except thank you. I don't know. It was… it was like some creepy kind of love letter or something."

As soon as the words love letter left Bella's lips, Rosalie growled, which startled the hell out of her. Rearing back, her eye flashed red and one of Bella's hands raised protectively, the muscle along the small of her back rippling in preparation for a fight. No fight came, thankfully, and Rosalie looked almost embarrassed as she turned her head away, something shameful in her expression. The frown she wore was so alien on her that Bella was momentarily stunned, unable to wrestle with the idea of Rosalie and embarrassed in the same sentence.

"Um…"

"She's grateful to you. That's what I see," Alice interrupted, hair bobbing as she shook her head, coming back to. "It's still hazy since it has to do with you. She's… well, she's interested in you."

"I sort of got that."

"Bella… I don't think you understand. Vampires showing any romantic interest in someone is… it's a big deal for us."

Taking a deep breath, Bella jerked chin to the side. "Keep walking?"

"Yeah, yeah. So- stop thinking, Emmett, you're making my head spin- vampires, we-"

Rosalie cleared her throat. "Are we certain we need to tell her this?"

"Of course. It's her life, this affects Bella more than it does us."

All Rosalie did was roll her eyes, and Alice continued, though something in her tone made Bella frown.

"Vampires, we… we pursue someone with the understanding that it can lead to something much, much more. Not marriage, not… anything human. It's sort of like marriage but it's all encompassing, it's- it's you giving yourself away to something greater than yourself. We call it mating. And sorry, this is way harder to explain than I thought it would be."

"So that's what you guys were talking about."

"Yeah, you must have overheard us plenty."

"A bit. Here and there."

"Fuck off, you heard everything," Emmett laughed, poking Bella's shoulder.

"Most of it. So, mating?"

"Mating is primal, so much so that some vampires call their partner a soulmate. That's how deep the feeling runs. Vampires don't date. We court, more like. We pursue someone knowing that - entirely outside of our control - something instinctual in us will kick into place and decide this is it. This is the person for me. And from there, well… that's it for us."

"That sounds… horrifying."

Clicking her tongue, Alice grimaced. "I can see both sides to it, but I'm biased."

"Jasper?"

"Right in one."

"And… Carlisle and Esme, I'm assuming?"

"Yep. Love at first sight for those two, though the circumstances were… well, that's their story to tell."

"Is it love then?"

"It is, and it's not. It's love in every way you can comprehend but it's different, almost. It's hard for me to describe because it's all I've ever known. I can't remember my human life at all, and again- that's my story to tell."

"No pressure," Bella said, raising her hands.

"It's like your perception shifts," came Emmett's explanation, his voice soft. "I think it's almost like how some parents feel after they see their baby for the first time but- you know- not like that. Definitely not like that. It's… everything for you is recontextualized and all of a sudden you realize that you'll never love something or someone as much as you do in that moment, and it stays with you forever."

Blinking a few times, Alice stated everyone's thoughts succinctly. "...Wow, Emmett."

"What? That's how Carlisle described it. You've all got a perfect memory too, don't look at me like I'm crazy or something."

"Love at first sight then?"

"Sometimes?"

"That's… a lot."

"Do ghouls not have something similar?"

"I really don't know. I haven't been doing this for long, remember? And I'm still surprised sometimes by my instincts, I guess. It's like I'm stuck between being human and not. Sometimes I react like I'm supposed to, or remember myself reacting, and then other times…"

"It's like there's a beast inside you," Rosalie spoke, and Bella glanced towards her only to find her head still turned away, chin raised to the clouds.

"Exactly like that. Does it… does it change at all?"

"You get used to it. The instincts never go away, they only become more grounded. They permeate you, but they're more controllable."

"So it's only going to get worse is what you're saying."

"It'll get worse before it gets better."

"Rosalie."

"What, Alice? It's true and you know it's true. You're the only one of us who never had to deal with the change. Let's not sugar coat it for her."

"She's right," came Bella's hesitant approval. "Don't dance around the subject with me… please," she amended. "When? When is it going to get worse?"

"It already is, isn't it? You're flighty, yet reckless. Aggressive when you don't need to be. Sometimes noises, touch, and smell become too much and you have to get out otherwise you're going to tear someone in half? It's all the hallmarks of a pubescent ghoul, and… it's not made better by your eating habits."

"Fuck. But I'm nineteen, that doesn't make any sense."

"And you've only been a ghoul for a few years. Less than that. Your body is still changing rapidly, new kakuhou forming alongside your kakuja, all of it accelerated by how much you've cannibalized, judging by your reputation." Cocking an eyebrow, Rosalie finally turned to Bella, looking her over. "Why did you come to Forks?"

"I wanted to start something. A new life… I don't know. Something like that."

"Migratory. Moving to new territory. You didn't even think about it, did you? You just left."

"It was spur of the moment, but I'd always considered it. And what, is that another sign?"

"Perhaps. It might be, it might not be. This isn't exactly a checklist you can work down-"

"-And how do you even know this? Did you study ghouls?"

"I did, years ago. In fact, I have a doctorate."

Sighing, Bella chewed on the inside of her cheek.

It made sense, really, but she didn't know if Rosalie was spitballing or if she actually had a point. Everything she said could be explained by the simple fact that Bella was, to put it lightly, a bit nuts. She'd be the first to admit it, since it wasn't every day you got turned into a ghoul by some hack mad scientist. But at the same time Rosalie didn't seem like the type to bullshit, in fact she'd been nothing but straightforward with Bella since they'd met. Rude, yes, but she hadn't lied so far. At least, not that Bella could tell, and if anyone could tell a lie she imagined Rosalie would be the one, yet, that seemed beneath her somehow.

"So it's ghoul puberty. That's what you're saying."

"Of a sort. I'm sure if we managed to get an MRI of you a year ago and compared it to now, that back of yours would be covered in new RC Cell pathways. Not to mention, you're hitting the clearest point of ghoul development known."

"Which is?"

"Tribalism."

"Explain."

Rosalie pursed her lips, shooting Bella a glare. "You've been roaming the East Coast for two years, and in that time you never fell in with any of the gangs. You avoided them, yet now you've sought out your father. You're forming bonds with us and with the other students, after years of doing exactly the opposite. Very young ghouls are avoidant of anyone they're not familiar with, and they only start forming relationships with more than one or two people at a time outside of their immediate family or murder-"

"-Murder?"

"Like crows. A pack. A murder of ghouls, look-"

"How the hell have I never read about any of this? Do you have any idea how much research I've done into ghouls to figure out what the fuck was going on with me?"

"Because you can't just find that information online," Rosalie scoffed, crossing her arms. "It's closely guarded and only those with approval can get access to it. Homeland, any of the three letter organizations, and researchers all need to be vetted before they can learn about this. Basic biology you can find anywhere, but behavioural studies? That's a trade secret."

All Bella did was run her hands through her hair and pace a circle in the rough tarmac, exhaling sharply.

Useless. Years of research and sleepless nights and it was all useless.

"Motherfucker."

In a childish display of anger Bella stomped her foot, forming a brand new pot hole in the street complete with spiderweb cracks and a crumbling imprint of her sneaker. Cursing some more, she toed at it in an effort to make it look more natural before grabbing a handful of concrete and throwing it into the woods. It pinged loudly off the trees, pieces of bark snapping away and flying in every direction.

"So that's what's going on with me?" she shot, whirling on Rosalie. "And it's worse because I eat ghouls, is it? That's what's going on?"

"It's not an official diagnosis, but yes, I'd say so."

"Great, so that's why I'm losing my fucking mind."

"It could be accentuated due to your abilities. You might have been subconsciously aware of your capacity for regeneration and acted more rashly as a result of it. I can't say for certain, but what I can say is that you've got roughly… three to four months ahead of you before your body begins to settle into itself and your mind catches up. Less, perhaps, if you go out of your way to eat any ghouls or vampires in the foreseeable future."

"But what's going to happen to me, Rosalie?"

"Good things and bad. You're going to continue forming relationships, proper ones, without being a flight risk. It will be tentative at first, but ghouls form close bonds, closer than a human-drinking vampire can and probably much closer than even us, outside of a mate bond." She looked almost pained to say that, but Rosalie shouldered on nonetheless. "The bad is that you'll become more neurotic. Jumpy, aggressive… think a teenage boy who's overcompensating."

"Lovely. Absolutely lovely."

"Rosalie, I told you we shouldn't-"

Bella put her hand up. "I'm not mad at her, Alice. I'm not. I'm just… angry at the situation. I'm pissed that I have to deal with even more of this outside the whole 'cannibalism makes me see dead people' thing I have going on."

"You're hallucinating?"

Her jaw clamped shut, and Bella flinched. "Only for a week or so after I eat a ghoul. Or if I… well, you saw me in the forest. If that happens."

"Jesus. How many ghouls have you eaten? You've almost fully formed a kakuja after only two years. That- that's unheard of."

"Enough."

Rosalie pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. "If that's the case this should be soon over with. I expect it to be finished in a month or two if you're that far along."

It was with a sense of closure that Bella threw her head back and thought to herself, fuck you, God. Her teeth were gritted and fists clenched, but after a few seconds they relaxed and her head dropped back down, defeated.

At least it's only two months, was her following thought, and that brought with it some optimism. Hesitant, but optimism nonetheless. And she knew now what was going on. She had a timeline, expectations, and the knowledge of what to expect.

Bella never had that before.

"Thank you."

"What?"

"I said thank you."

To her credit, Rosalie tried very hard not to look as stunned as she obviously felt, but Bella could see it in the way her fists clenched, or how she nearly took a step back. Slowly, mechanically, she nodded, while Emmett - who had been surprisingly silent - looked back and forth between the two of them like he was watching a tennis match.

"You're… welcome. I suppose."

"And I'll have to thank you again, I think."

"Why?"

"Well, you were going to help me with my truck, weren't you?"

It was Bella's turn to be stunned, what with how Rosalie's eyes practically gleamed with excitement and a real, genuine smile melted across her face for a fraction of a second. It was schooled quickly yet she couldn't hide it from Bella, her eyes just as sharp as Rosalie's and her mind just as quick.

And it made her feel pleased, almost. Alongside the sudden understanding that what was happening to her was… well, normal, it was quickly followed by a wave of calm. Bella didn't need to hide anymore, not around the Cullens, and while it somewhat clicked the other day the gravity of it had yet to catch up with her until that moment.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the clap of a massive hand on her shoulder, and thankfully Bella didn't flip Emmett onto his back.

"You're alright then?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine."

"What about this Victoria business then?"

"Fuck. I'd already forgotten about that."

His laugh was boisterous, and Bella found herself smiling. "I'm glad you came to Forks, buddy. And Alice, you don't see any issues with Victoria?"

Black hair shook as Alice was startled. "None at all. But I'm not exactly reliable these days."

"Hey. You're not your visions, alright?"

"I know that. It's just frustrating."

"Sorry."

"No, Bella. Don't apologize. I have to figure out a way to work around you, that's all." Alice grinned. "And I like a challenge."

"Well… it's good to hear I don't have anything to worry about. Sort of. Just another stalker."

"It's actually quite standard for ghouls," Rosalie ground out.

"What?"

"Leaving food as a gift. It's how they court."

"And breaking into my home?"

"Stealth. Strength. Cleverness. All values a ghoul would find appealing in a partner."

"You'll have to tell me when you learned all this sometime."

And Bella meant it. At this point she was practically dying to pick Rosalie's brain about every ghoul fact she could. Carlisle too, maybe, but it somehow felt… odd to speak with him.

He was a good man, that she could tell, but his evident fascination with her was, while understandable, still terribly uncomfortable.

"Oh! Oh!" Bouncing on her heels, Alice chirped, "When Rose started researching ghouls, it was… it actually started about forty years ago when- oh-"

She was swiftly interrupted by Rosalie's hand as it slapped across her mouth, the impact loud enough to make Bella and Emmett both wince. But Alice hardly noticed, her eyes wide with excitement yet thin at the bottom from her beaming grin, hidden beneath Rosalie's hand.

"I think we should go now." Pausing, Rosalie added, "And I'm glad I could help."

"Thanks. Uh- it really does mean a lot."

"Of course."

Back to formality, it seemed.

The walk back to her house was pleasant, regardless of the conversation they'd just had. She and Emmett poked fun at each other along the way, or he did. Bella mostly just rolled her eyes, though there wasn't any venom to it. All Alice did was smile, the usual skip in her step even more pronounced, and though Rosalie grumbled it felt half-hearted to Bella

When the Cullens left, piling into their car one after the other and accompanied by a cheery wave from both Alice and Emmett, Bella waved back. She waved, something so plain yet so unfamiliar, and still she felt strangely optimistic.

She knew it wouldn't last of course. Now that Rosalie had told her what was going on those feelings became impossible to ignore. The way she twitched at the crackling of leaves as a rat scurried across the underbrush, or how her nostrils flared as another car passed by, carrying with it the delectable scent of its driver. It was a lot to be made aware of how sensitive she was, even more so than her first month, staring at clay and questioning reality.

It would be difficult, but Bella had dealt with far worse.

This is the finish line, she told herself, watching the Cullens car as it pulled around the bend. This is it.

Once January hit it would (hopefully) be smooth sailing. Now, all she needed to deal with was the vampire that was after her.

How did one pen a supernatural rejection?