Sabrina let out a breath, looking around her counseling office with a frown, and folded her arms behind her back. Academically, she knew that the baby was hardly big enough to have changed her posture; her mother insisted that her stomach was barely noticeable. Of course, it was all in her head. But that still didn't change the feeling that her back was out of alignment, that whenever she walked down the street, everyone was looking at her. Right away, her first client of the day had been in the rehab center, and at least twice during the hour, Sabrina had caught him glancing down at her belly. The man hadn't said anything, but Sabrina had felt the silent question, the curiosity in his emotions.
"How long can I actually keep this secret?" Sabrina wondered quietly, looking down at the coffee table. Slowly, she sipped her water, making a face.
Fluttering up toward her, Nooroo placed his paw on her wrist. "You have already told everyone whom you need to tell," he squeaked. "You can keep this a secret from anyone and everyone else that you wish, Mistress."
She nodded doubtfully. "Maybe."
"Mistress?" Nooroo asked, his eyes wide. "Why is it so important to you to keep this a secret?"
Sabrina frowned, looking over at the shelf where she had placed a couple pictures of herself and Max. They looked so happy in those pictures – one from last year when they had first started dating; the other taken only a little over a month ago, shortly after the dedication of the Heroes of Paris Memorial at the Arc de Triomphe. A month ago, she had already been pregnant, though she hadn't realized it at the time. So what, really, had changed in that time? She was still the same. The baby was still growing. Max still loved her – if anything, the only change was in the greater love in his emotions when he looked at her. Everyone who really mattered knew about the baby, and all of them promised to support them no matter what.
And yet, still she wasn't ready for everyone to know.
Her stomach clenched, and she swallowed. "I…'m not sure." She shrugged. "I just know I'm not ready yet."
"There is nothing wrong with waiting," Nooroo told her. "What is important is that you know about it."
Sabrina looked down at her nearly-empty water glass and chugged the last few mouthfuls before turning away from the waiting area and walking toward the kitchenette. She frowned. "Some days, I wouldn't mind if Dr. Brasseur didn't know," she grumbled, pouring herself another glass of water. "Five glasses of water," she complained. "Five glasses before lunch – and still she insists that I need to drink more water! I'm going to float away if I drink much more! Or I'll just have to spent the next seven months in the bathroom almost constantly."
"I'm sure it is for your own good," squeaked Nooroo. "This way you and the baby can stay healthy."
"That's what Dr. Brasseur says," Sabrina grumbled under her breath, making her way from the kitchenette back into the waiting room and sitting down in one of the comfortable armchairs. "But I still have my doubts about it…" Nooroo's eyes widened in concern, and Sabrina sighed. "I'm going to listen to her," she assured the Kwami. "But I don't have to like it."
"Of course not, Mistress."
Sabrina was just leaning back in her seat when a set of vaguely-familiar emotions appeared on the edge of her periphery, moved down the hallway, and rapped on the counseling office door. Waiting for a long moment before answering, Sabrina cocked her head, concentrating on the emotions beyond. Suddenly, she smiled. "It's open!" she called, as the door opened and Aurore poked her head inside, looking around nervously. "Hello, Aurore!" Sabrina greeted her, smiling brightly and waving her further into the apartment. "It's been a while; I'm really glad to came to see me!"
Aurore frowned. "Are you, though?" she asked hesitantly.
"Of course I am," Sabrina assured her, furrowing her brows and cocking her head to one side. "Why wouldn't I be?"
Aurore sighed heavily, looking down at the floor. "I just… after what happened…" Her voice trailed off into a sniffle.
Sabrina nodded sympathetically, tapping into Aurore's emotions and humming in understanding. "I assure you: you will always be welcome to come to me, whenever you might have trouble with this guilt. Why don't you come in, and we'll talk about it some more," she suggested, gesturing down the hallway toward the counseling room. Stifling a groan, she pushed herself up to her feet, suppressing the urge to place a hand on the small of her back to try and balance out the baby's weight on her front.
Aurore gulped, giving Sabrina look of a deer caught in headlights. "Um… okay…"
Sabrina raised an eyebrow. "We both know why you're here, but I think it might help if instead of thinking of me as a counselor and this as a counseling session, you think of it as just having tea together with a friend. It's a shame it took something like this for us to actually hang out together! But perhaps this will be a good opportunity to start. Would you like some tea?" Aurore shrugged noncommittally, looking over toward the pictures on the shelf, a hint of longing making its way into her emotions. As Aurore got lost in her thoughts, Sabrina moved back around to the kitchenette and started boiling water before rummaging around in one of the cupboards. She frowned. "So, how are things going over at TVi?" she called, all her attention on the teabags.. Aurore tensed, her emotions shifting to shame. "Max and I have been trying to watch the news every evening," Sabrina continued. "It's been nice to see you back on the weather broadcast a couple of times this week."
Aurore's shame shifted slightly to take on a hint of pride. "It's… good," she finally managed, forcing herself to smile. "I… didn't know if I would ever get a chance to come back to it – not after…" Her voice trailed off in embarrassment, and her face fell. "Well, you know."
Dropping a couple of teabags into the steaming mugs of hot water, Sabrina handed one to Aurore, placing her free hand on Aurore's shoulder. "It's okay," she assured her. "You are with friends. Remember? Just a couple of friends having tea together. And I am so glad to get this chance! After all, so much has happened lately!"
Aurore hummed humorlessly. "I'll say," she agreed, pursing her lips. Nevertheless, she followed Sabrina down the hallway to the counseling room, her emotions shifting rapidly between nervousness and embarrassment. Looking around in surprise, Aurore's eyes widened on seeing the picture of Sabrina and Max displayed prominently on the bookshelf in the corner. Taking another step closer and leaning over to examine the picture more carefully, Aurore smiled, her emotions reflecting happiness. "I'm glad to see the two of you are doing well together. After Angola…"
Sabrina let out a breath, trying to release the sudden clenching in her stomach and forcing herself to breath slowly and deeply. Slowly, she sank into her comfortable armchair. "Yeah…" She smiled softly, surreptitiously resting her free hand on her stomach, above the contented and happy baby. Sabrina watched Aurore carefully, waiting for her to turn away from the picture so they could begin their counseling. It wouldn't do for her to be cradling her belly while they did their counseling – that might be all Aurore needed to piece it together… "It's been a really long road to recover from everything that happened, especially events in Angola," Sabrina admitted, swallowing back her guilt. "But having Max and his support has helped. Having my parents and friends to support me has been huge – I don't know if I would be here right now if it weren't for my friends." She raised an eyebrow at Aurore. "And that holds true for you, as well," she pointed out, smiling reassuringly.
Aurore turned around with a scoff. "After I betrayed everyone?" she retorted dubiously, pursing her lips and furrowing her brows. Sabrina gave her a meaningful look. Aurore flushed, her eyes turning down to the floor. "I mean…"
"I know," Sabrina told her calmly. "Better than most, I think. Believe me: you will get no judgment here. I completely betrayed Marinette's trust. I betrayed Nooroo's trust and abused his power. I hurt people with my actions – physically and emotionally. You did a lot of the same things. But – and here's the difference – I don't think you did any of it willingly or knowingly. Did you?"
Aurore's eyes widened, and her mouth came open in horror. "No – o–of course not! I would never!" She swallowed. "I only ever wanted to help people, to protect people and keep them safe! I never wanted to hurt anyone!"
"And everyone knows that," Sabrina continued, nodding encouragingly. "You see, that's the difference between what you did and what I did. Where I acted with full intent, you were acting in ignorance." She sighed heavily. "But you're still struggling with the guilt and shame over what happened. And that's something I might be able to help you with. What's on your mind?"
Aurore pursed her lips, looking down at the floor, and collapsed into one of the chairs opposite Sabrina around the coffee table with a huff. "I guess… I've felt so helpless," she whispered. "Ever since the fall, it's felt like my life was almost completely out of my control, and I don't like it. I let myself be used by Fernand. I was so broken and ashamed after Jean broke up with me, after we had…" She gulped, shuddering, and sniffled. Sabrina nudged her tissue box across the table, and Aurore pulled out a half-dozen tissues. Finally, she whispered, "It was my fault: I let Fernand take advantage of me, use my emotional vulnerability to get me to do things I didn't want to do. I thought it would make him go away, but it just got worse – up until he was finally arrested. Then, after he was gone, I thought I had reclaimed some control over my life when I received the lance. I had power – power that I hadn't had over my life while living under Father's roof. I could be a hero, stop other girls from being used and abused the way I had been. And I lived in that manner, joining the Heroes of Paris and doing good, up until Killer Bee called me by my name. That was when I realized. It was all a lie. It was just someone else who wanted to take advantage of me and use me. And I betrayed my friends. And as a result, my parents, and Arielle, and Mireille… everyone is in danger."
Sabrina nodded sympathetically. "That is an enormous burden to have to bear! Tell me: what has happened since it all came to light?" Aurore arched an eyebrow dubiously, and Sabrina held a hand up. "I'm not asking for Marinette. I promise: I'm not going to tell her anything that you say."
Aurore let out a breath. "I went to Valèrie for help – I never would have imagined this being the way I get to know my ex's new girlfriend. She was happy to let me stay, though she was worried about if they found me." She frowned, guilt invading her emotions. "I knew I would be putting her in danger, but I didn't know who else to turn to – anyone else I could think of, either Loubet would have known about, or you would have. I tried to make things right, but I couldn't do that; instead, I almost got myself killed, and for no real reason. I had to tell Mireille that I was the Lancer – that I had betrayed the Heroes of Paris. I had to tell my parents so they would know the danger they were in because of me. I had to explain everything to Marinette and Adrien and Chloe and Max… Do you have any idea how hard that was?"
"Explaining to the people you love the terrible things you did? Yes." Sabrina smiled ruefully. "But I know they don't hold any of it against you. I know for a fact that Marinette was only grateful to see you safe. I imagine that your parents and Mireille felt the same once you came in. The truth of the matter is that you made a choice: you chose to come in and help the Heroes of Paris to stop the people who had tried to use you. And that choice makes you a hero."
