It hits you.
Your parents are yelling again, this time going on about who should be the one responsible for the increase in the household electricity with their overload casework.
Your parents have never really been there for you. You have a house to live in, clothes to wear and food to eat. But they have never come out to say a job well done, ask how you are or even– you realised, to acknowledge you as a son with feelings or wants. At first, you could say they were busy, they have their jobs and you are going on just fine. You made excuses for them and accept that compromises need to be made for busy parents to stay together as a family.
You thought you would be used to this and came to accept by now that this is how things are and your parents are just like that.
Don't they care how you feel? to see them fight. To go by a day without contact from either of them?
And then it hits you.
They probably don't care much about you at all. You are just another thing off the checklist to them.
Its been 74 days since you last met Oda Ritsu. He stopped showing up at school suddenly. You thought he has fallen ill or got into a terrible accident.
If only it was that simple. He seemed to have vanished completely.
The person with the name Oda Ritsu doesn't seem to exist. Not even the librarian seems to know who you're referring to. You went to check with the younger students and they are equally puzzled as you.
Strangely, you don't feel sad or anxious. Maybe it's your brain trying to make things better for you, to block out the sadness and anxiety you should be feeling. The person you love disappeared suddenly, you should not be this calm. But all just seem like a dream at this point, so maybe you have been sleepwalking throughout these 18 years.
No, it was not a dream. The love is real.
The road you take back home is the same. So is the streetlight, so is the dirt on the payment, the noisy creak of your house gate when you swing it open and the little black cat you picked up. They are all here.
Where is Oda Ritsu?
A strange question followed. If it was you who disappeared– would no one else remember you too?
"Masamune, have you started packing? We're moving in less than 2 weeks."
And then it hits you.
You won't see him again.
The new guy seems cranky, you noticed. Well, anyone other man who has been assigned to Emerald would have reacted the same. Shoujo to most isn't a genre worth respecting – but that has changed ever since it hauled it up from the bottom of the pit.
It surprised you that he stayed overtime, hunched over his desk in the dim office lights to go through the previously published series when he obviously carries the same sentiments as the rest. Somehow, it seems like you met him before. Is it the flustered discomposure or annoyance in his eyes? It feels like you know them, somewhere. But you're done for the day, and there's still tomorrow– if he hasn't immediately resigned first thing in the morning.
He showed up in the office, looking tired but the fact that he's still here and willing makes him better than half of the old recruits the team has in the past.
The new guy – Onodera, knows shit about Shoujo, but he's asking questions and at least that's a start.
You can't shake the feeling you've met.
Somewhere. Definitely.
The nagging feeling is annoying, and unconsciously you touched his hair and pulled him back for a closer look. The man is scowling but you haven't felt this urge to figure something unimportant out in a long time. Surely, there's a reason for feeling like this.
The printers, that made sense. There's always so many people at the printers anyways.
Yea, that made sense.
"I used to read all the books at my school library, so …"
And then it hits you.