7.
The realization hits him rather unexpectedly. They are out at night again and have just escaped a police car that has been pursuing them when Cherry slips. He falls and Adam catches him and the only thing that crosses his mind is that this feels wrong somehow and he'd rather it be Gem in his arms right now. He almost drops Cherry at the sudden insight that he actually misses the british girl and barely even notices how Cherry looks at him. Surprise, gratefulness and something soft that he thinks he'd rather see aimed at him by Gem.
Fuck, he kind of like-likes the younger girl. He's so screwed. His family would never approve of her for so so many reasons.
When Cherry is back on his own feet Adam steps of his board and pulls a hand through his hair in mild frustration at the plight he's just found himself in. Naturally his hood slips and Cherry makes a startled noise that draws his attention.
'Adam, you're taking your hood off?', he asks sounding suprised and Adam smiles.
'Why not? It doesn't matter if you see me. We're friends, aren't we? I trust you guys.', he tells them with a soft smile not unlike those he wears when he gets a new letter brought by Hedwig. It's only when he speaks the words that Adam realizes how true they actually are. Joe and Cherry are his friends, he cares for them, they are special to him not only because they can keep up with his skating when so few can. And he wants to introduce Gem to them.
Fuck, he really is screwed already wanting to introduce her to his friends when he's just realized that he might like her a little more than as just a friend.
'Damn, I think I...', he begins not sure how to continue because with his screwed understanding of love he refuses to apply the term to her.
'This is your fault, Joe.', he accuses entirely out of context much to the puzzled looks of his friends.
'Me? What did I do?', Joe asks confused.
'You called Gem my girlfriend.', he enlightens the greenhaired skater flatly and from the corner of his eyes he sees Cherry mouth the name a clear question on his face.
'No way, that penpal from Britain is really your girlfriend?', Joe blurts after a moment of contemplative silence and Adam snorts.
'No, she'd have to agree to that first.', Adam refuses flatly but it does little to curb Joe's excitement.
'But you love her.', Joe exclaims with a little teasing grin that slips when he sees Adam flinch.
'No.', he states his voice hard and cold as ice. Joe voicing it is all the confirmation he needs to know that he really doesn't want to associate her with that term and what it means to him. Joe and Cherry both frown at him but it is Cherry who ultimately asks.
'If you don't love her why would you want her to be your girlfriend?'
It's a logical question that has a fairly easy answer. But Gem is the only one he ever told about his aunts conditioning and he isn't sure just how Joe and Cherry would take it, how they'd react. With Gem it had been ok because even if he hadn't known it at that time something inside him had recognized that bitter weariness as a sign that she had experienced her own fair share of pain and wouldn't judge or misunderstand. But Joe and Cherry haven't. They still have a certain innocence and don't know how badly being hurt by family really strikes and the kind of scars it leaves. He also hopes that they never will understand. Him being as messed up as he is is bad enough.
'I just don't like the word love. People have a rather romantisized view of what love is. I think, that I care for her deeply and adore her would be a better description.', Adam finally amends and while Joe seems to be just fine with that answer Cheery gives him a searching look as if he's trying to reassure himself that that really is all there is to it. It isn't, but Adam is not going to elaborate on that.