Chap 10

Loid POV

After talking with Yor and sleeping on it, I realized I was wrong for saying those things to Anya. I just want to protect her, but I realize that she's at the age where I can't restrict her from her growth.

I made eggs early in the morning with the rice inside just like Anya loves and I wrote "Sorry" on the eggs in ketchup. I knocked on her door, but she didn't respond. I tried the handle but it's still locked from our argument yesterday.

"Anya, I know you must be hungry. You didn't eat dinner last night either." I say concerned at the silence I try to resist breaking the door down. But I hear rustling inside and hold back on the thought of it.

I exhale, "Anya can we just tal-" brrrring the phone rings loudly throughout the house. I walk over and answer annoyed, but my ears become alert when I get the code word to meet with HQ immediately.

I look over at the breakfast on the table and the closed door of Anya's room. As if on cue Yor strides beside me and places a hand on my shoulder placing a kiss on my cheek.

"Go, I know that was work. I'll talk to Anya." She grabs my jacket and hat and passes it to me. She's so perfect, understanding and patient with me and Anya I couldn't have asked for a better wife.

"Thank you Yor. I'll be back before dinner." I say grabbing my briefcase from my bedroom and walking to the door. But not without glancing back at Anya's room one more time before I head out.

I pulled up to a high class brunch spot across town with a new face I made, to meet with an equally disguised Sylvia Sherwood.

As I have a seat across from her in the corner booth which is secluded especially given the time of day. It's not like them to request a meeting immediately which raises my concern of how the plan must be escalated since we last spoke.

She sips her tea while she says behind the cup "hello twilight." I nod as I pour a glass of black coffee from the carafe at the table, no sugar or milk.

"Desmond had made a power play that ended badly. Due to this we now understand what it is he is after." She says looking at the toast she butters, her lips barely moving even though I can hear her clearly.

"I'm sure it's either money or weapons knowing Desmond." She shakes her head, "Everything he's done up until this point is considered child's play in comparison to what he's trying to get his hands on."

I lift the coffee to my lips letting the bitterness sweep my tongue as I hear the next words she speaks and almost choke.

"He's looking to obtain raw uranium to create bombs the likes that no one's ever seen. They could take out an entire coast side." She says as she stirs the sugar at the bottom of her tea.

"Your daughter has become a key to getting closer to the target." She slides several photos of various moments from Becky's party. Anya dancing with Damian, her altercation with the men, and her leaving with Damian on his bike.

I point to the men in the photo "I know they're part of Desmond's mercenary group, from the hammer tattoo a witness confirmed on one of the suspects." Which I wouldn't have known if not for Anya.

"The Blackbells seem to be the only ones standing in the way of Desmond and the Uranium he needs. Him sending his mercenaries shows how desperate he is to get his hands on it, with the tide of the war turning against him." She says finishing off her tea.

She points to Damian in the photo of him and Anya dancing. "Is this a recent advance? Last we spoke, you told us they weren't even friends and you were to focus her efforts academically."

I grit my teeth thinking of my argument with Anya and hearing her voice say I like him.

"She… She has recently made me aware of romantic feelings she has for the target." As I say the words they almost feel like a betrayal to her. To her expected measure of privacy between father and daughter. If that's what she sees me as still… which our dynamic is obviously bothering her now that she's older.

It's true after all these years of pretending we've never sat down and spoke of the first week we spent together before forming our family. I was still figuring out how to be a father and I know as a child with a stranger I was brash at times, since I was new to the role. She didn't deserve that… Clearly it's something that can't be ignored any further.

Sylvia claps "perfect, if she can get close enough to the property I'm sure there will be tangible evidence we can use against him for his war crimes. She's our ace in the hole between the uranium and the target."

I rub the back of my neck sheepishly "Actually I forbade her from seeing him, and we fought." She clanked her cup into her saucer as she leaned forward "Why would you do such a thing?"

I lower my head not being able to put it into words without having to admit it out loud. That I care for Anya more than the mission.

"Agent Twilight need I remind you that once the war is over, you'll lose the identity of Loid and be reassigned to another case. I understand this is your longest mission to date but don't get attached to this family." I nodded my head even if my heart didn't agree.

"I'll speak with her and…encourage their relationship." I say bitterly while sipping my coffee.

"We'll try to find out who is housing the product, we just need you to make sure there's no buyer for it." She says waving over the waiter and I stand and head out my mind swirling with all the new information we obtained.

Now I need to figure out how to apologize to Anya.

Meeting up with Frankie in my spy disguise made it believable that an old man would hang around a news stand for long as I caught him up on everything.

"Where do you want to start the search?" Frankie asks taking out a notepad to take notes in code. I think back to what information Sylvia provided.

"Let start with the material itself, anyone in the science or academic field related to or specializing in uranium. If anyone has a criminal record or is missing as of late. Recently published articles and the works. Also the latest report of the Blackbell finances there has to be a trace of where money was moving." I say pondering aloud.

He nods "And… what are you going to do about Anya?" Frankie asks, obviously concerned since I had mentioned the argument we had yesterday.

He has loved Anya like a Niece since the mission started, always wanting to spoil her. But hearing that her and I are at odds hurts him.

"I have to talk to her about our past and hope that we can get through it." I say shrugging he sighs.

"Are you going to tell her who you are one day or let her believe her father died in a tragic accident once you get reassigned." The thought of Anya grieving me makes my chest ache.

"Let me know when you have something." I say walking away. I know he's right but I just don't have answers right now. I need to focus on the mission, as the timeline escalates so do our efforts. Apparently Anya is the closest to all of it, and I don't like it one bit. But I have no choice but to just protect her along the way.

Anya POV

I lay in my bed on my phone contemplating texting Damian but deciding against it. Not wanting to come off as desperate.

I heard papa knocking on my door but I'm too raw from it all that I just can't face him yet.

But after a few minutes I hear Mama's gentle knock and her thoughts of worry filtering through the door.

"Coming!" I say walking over to the door and opening it ajar slightly. "Your fathers gone to work." She motions at breakfast at the table "Come eat, we don't have to talk if you don't want to." She says walking over and taking a seat herself.

I leave my phone on my bed deciding I should talk to someone about it. Obviously I can't talk to her about the orphanage part, but I could get some advice.

I sit in front of my regular seat and see the eggs with Sorry written perfectly. My stomach growls, defeating my anger as I smear the word till it's no longer legible.

Dammit, why does he have to be such a good cook? I angrily scoop the eggs and rice and it melts on my tongue.

True to her word Mama doesn't say anything while I eat, which I'm thankful for. Just having her beside me made me feel less lonely.

Once I finish the last of my food I grab the plate and bring it over to the sink to wash it off. I decide I should start since she's clearly waiting for me to be comfortable to speak on what's on my mind.

After drying the plate and putting it away I sat back at the table and sigh heavily. "Papa told me I can't see Damian anymore…" I say whining a bit.

"Why do you think that is?" She asks tilting her head to the side, not showing any signs of judgement. I know Papas reason is because he's the son of a psycho who is in the midst of trying to amp up this war. But Mama sees Damian as just Damian, which is how I see him…

"He was telling me he's bad news. But mama he doesn't know the Damian I know. He's not like his father. He's smart, kind and selfless." I say, trying to convince her. She puts her hand on my shoulder. I didn't realize I started shaking as I was speaking.

"Anya I'm sure he's a nice boy. Maybe you should tell your father about him, so he can understand better." Squeezing my shoulder reassuringly keeping her tone even. I don't respond since I'm trying to control the tears from returning to my eyes.

"I'm sure he's just worried since Damian is the first person you've shown interest in. He doesn't want you to get hurt is all. You're his little girl." I nod knowing that's not the real reason, but I'm sure that's what he told her was how he was feeling.

But I know he doesn't want my help with the mission. I know from his previous thoughts that I was a mistake of a choice all along. Overtime he stopped with those lines of thoughts, but I knew of their existence nonetheless.

I've repressed the pain for so long that when he yelled at me that way. It leaked the pain I was burying all these years. The pain of never being someone's first choice, the one everyone always regretted or returned.

If not for Papa I would've been bounced around from home to home for years if not my whole life. Although I'm thankful to him, I'm realizing the pain of the situation is bleeding from my heart. I'm starting to question if Papa loves me or if he just loves me for the moment for his mission. If I can handle the fact that one day he'll be gone and I'll be alone again.

I hadn't realized I was so deep in thought that the tears spilled from my eyes as I just silently stared at the table. Mama holds me close but not hard but firm that I know she's right here. Will she stay? Or will she leave me too? I can't bear to ask her which only makes me sob harder.

"What's wrong Anya? Is there something else?" Mama says worried since my tears are far worse than the fears she thinks I have.

I can't tell her everything but maybe I can try to explain it in a way I can still vent. I wipe my face and take a deep breath.

"After…my mom died… Papa was distant with me, throwing himself into his work. It made me feel like I wasn't enough for him, even though he was always enough for me…" I start saying carefully.

"I always felt like a screw up especially when I started school. Like I was letting him down at every turn... But after his blow up at me, it makes me wonder if I was right all along. What if he regrets me.."

Yor gasped at my admission. "Your father loves you very much, Anya. You should never question that; he's always putting your benefit over everything else and is very involved in your life. I'm sure you both can talk this out and move forward together, but you can only do that with full honesty. Tell him how you felt and feel, I'm sure you both can clear the air." She wipes my tear stained cheeks with a napkin.

"How about you get changed and we'll head out for some fresh air. You shouldn't mope around the house all day. " Mama says with a warm smile.

I nod appreciatively, "I could definitely use some fresh air." I stand so I can change but before I reach my room, I turn back to the table and say appreciatively "thank you…for listening."

She smiles brightly "of course I'll always be here." I nod hoping it's true…because this year is the last year I'm sure things will be normal.