Chapter 57: Second Chances

Prime P.O.V

We had been travelling in relative companionable silence for the better part of the day. Our conversations were perfunctory and sporadic as we drove around the city and outer limits searching for signs of Decepticon activity. We were slowly adapting to being with one another again and, although it was wonderful to finally be in Orianna's presence once more, it was noticeably strained. /Though this may also be owing to the fact I had forcibly made her ride with me/. I intended to try and resolve this distant, awkward situation between us during this unexpected time together and was about to make light conversation when Orianna, perhaps trying to achieve the same goal, spoke up.

''So..'' Orianna, having shifted across to sit on the driver's side of the cabin, tapped her fingers against my steering wheel as her foot bounced furiously on the floor of my cabin. ''I bet Sam's decision earlier was a real low blow for you hey Prime?''

I negotiated a corner carefully as we continued to patrol the streets in search of Decepticon energon signatures. ''While I confess it was not pleasant to hear his decision, I will not hold Sam's choice against him. Indeed, as you well know Orianna, I maintain that all sentient beings are free to make their own decisions.'' I smiled wryly to myself as I reflected on the events of the past four months. ''Though I may not always agree with them.''

Orianna snorted loudly at my words as her blood pressure and adrenaline levels momentarily spiked. She shifted on her seat, folding her arms defensively across her chest as she replied sullenly, ''Yeah, well Prime. As I am fast learning, people might be free to make their choices, but they sure as shit aren't free from the consequences of those choices.''

I indicated to turn down another side street. ''The same can be said for autonomous robotic lifeforms Orianna.'' She shifted on her seat and made a small grunting sound in reply, though said nothing more as she gazed out the window, seemingly transfixed by the buildings that flashed by as we drove along.

For a moment neither of us spoke as we digested the weight and context of our words just now. I chanced to speak once more for fear we may lose what little familiarity we had clawed back. ''How are Sam's parents going? Are they well?''

Orianna once again snorted out loud, except this time it was accompanied by a small chuckle. ''Yeah, they're going. Going nuts!'' Orianna's posture seemed to relax a little with the change in topic. ''You certainly get a feel for why Sam is the way he is when you hang out with Ron and Judy for an extended time.''

I found myself chuckling in reply. ''How so Orianna?''

''Well, let's just say that within five minutes of my arrival a few months ago, Judy was flying off the deep end about Sam leaving her for college and turned to alcohol to comfort her. Meanwhile, Ron was at the other end of the parental separation spectrum whereby he was planning on using his newfound ''empty nest'' status to wander nude around his own home.'' Orianna shook her head as she sighed out loud. ''Still, they're cool to hang with.''

I felt my optical ridge crease together. ''What purpose would walking around your abode without clothing serve in helping you adjust to your offspring moving out?'' I was genuinely perplexed and mildly disturbed by such a human practice – if it was indeed true.

Orianna burst out laughing as she tapped my door. ''Beats the hell out of me! Your guess is as good as mine Optimus. It certainly wouldn't be my go-to reaction.''

''What would your reaction be?'' I found the question leaving my dermas before I had really thought about it. I was eager to keep conversation going between us.

Orianna exhaled as her fingers lightly ran along my steering wheel absentmindedly. I felt a delightful shiver course through me, and my engine rumbled in response to her touch as I slowed to negotiate yet another corner. Orianna shrugged her shoulders, unaware of the effect she was having on me. ''I don't know Prime. Possibly something like Judy's response.'' Her voice trailed off to a whisper as I felt the smile fade from her lips. ''I never had any kids and, given my age now, likely never will so how would I know?''

''Did you want to have children?'' I internally berated myself as soon as the words left my dermas, but I was desperate to learn more about this woman who held my spark so firmly in her hands.

Orianna turned in her seat to stare out the window. Leaning forward, she pressed her forehead firmly against the glass. ''Yeah, I did. I thought it would have been pretty cool to have a living, breathing image of yourself and the person you loved so much running around..'' There was a loud, hiss as Orianna drew in and exhaled a shaky breath. Once more the atmosphere and mood within the cabin shifted as Orianna's adrenaline levels and blood pressure increased, and she began to shut down. A heavy silence filled the space around us.

Memories of my own Elita and what we could have had together had things been different, flashed through my processor, and my spark felt heavy as I too allowed the weight of regret and loss to settle upon me.

Tinged with bitterness, Orianna's voice drifted through the cabin rousing me from my painful reverie. ''Anyway. Never met the right guy I guess.'' She sat back heavily in her seat all but growling in annoyance. ''Can we change the bloody topic please?''

''Of course Orianna. Forgive me, I did not mean to make you uncomfortable or cause you any distress. ''

Orianna smirked as she placed a booted foot on my dashboard. ''Seems to be all we are capable of doing to each other lately Prime.'' There was a bitter undertone to her voice, and I bristled slightly at her comment.

''As I have stated before, and I am sure you would agree Orianna, it is never consciously done.'' My voice rumbled in reply as I pulled back on to the main roads and headed towards the outskirts of the town.

Orianna ran her hand through her long hair as she stared up at the ceiling and exhaled roughly. She hung her head. ''I know. Sorry.'' Drumming on her knee with her fingers, she bit her lower lip. ''So,'' her tone was lighter as she seemed to try once again to converse civilly. ''How is Relda? Have the Twins managed to steer clear of her?''

I chuckled as came to a halt at a stop sign. ''They have indeed Orianna. Lennox, Olivia and I have been keeping a watchful eye over her for you in your absence.'' Orianna nodded, a small, sad smile on her face. ''Though hopefully it will not be of any greater duration?'' I asked tentatively.

Orianna cleared her throat and shifted on the seat once more. ''I ah, don't know Prime. I mean Sam is in college now and Mikaela is busy with her dad.'' She shrugged her shoulders non committedly. ''Perhaps it might be time to come back. I was having this same conversation with Lennox just before the base got attacked.''

I pulled out and turned right. My engine growled as it shifted through the gears. ''I see.''

She seemed to hunch in on herself and tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear. ''I was thinking maybe it was time to head back. For a visit at the very least.'' Orianna's voice changed pitch as she began to run her finger along the seams on my seat. ''Lennox was keen on the idea anyway.''

An inexplicable stab of anger flashed through me, and I ground my denta together in irritation. ''He would not be the only one receptive to the idea Orianna.'' My deep voice rumbled around the cabin and Orianna mercifully stilled her hand, though she said nothing in reply. After a moment that seemed to stretch out interminably, I asked the question that had been on my processor since I saw her reaction to me in the cemetery. ''Had you known I was going to be there this morning instead of Lennox, would you have come?'' though I felt I knew the answer, I could not stop myself from asking.

A small, strangled sound managed to escape her throat as her fingers once more began idly running along the seam. ''I don't know Optimus.'' She looked out the window again as she sighed. ''Yeah - maybe.'' She exhaled in exasperation and flopped back against the seat. ''I don't know!''

A wave of disappointment seemed to engulf me, and my engine groaned out loud as I slowed for a traffic light. ''And that is why Jazz possibly led you to believe Lennox would be there as we knew you would be more likely to come.'' I was glad Orianna could not see my face in this moment.

Orianna simply nodded silently and looked out the window.

It felt as though we had taken two steps forward and now three steps back with her admission just now. I forced myself to reply in a calm even tone. ''Major Lennox wanted to see you Orianna, but he is preoccupied with arranging further support to deal with the impending Decepticon attack. Once we have dealt with that, I am sure you will see him again. In the meantime, you must put up with me in his stead.''

''Don't say things like that Optimus,'' Orianna pleaded as she sat up taller in her seat, her right hand gently patted the seat beside her. ''I… I guess I was just a bit caught off guard this morning seeing you after all this time.'' Her hand patted the seat softly once more. ''But I am happy to see you.''

Though a part of me felt overjoyed to hear she was happy to see me, her actions these past few months did not reflect that. ''While I can appreciate the situation you found yourself in Orianna, I wonder, had you reached out to me at any time during those four months, as you did with Lennox, perhaps it may not have been so difficult for you to see me just now?''

Orainna's palm smacked angrily against my seat before she snapped back indignantly, ''There was a reason I was avoiding talking to you Prime.'' She snorted out loud and pulled a leg up under her chin as if trying to comfort herself. ''Though according to Lennox, you seemed to have forgotten all about what happened and have been doing just fine since I left!'' Her voice was muffled as if she was not entirely sure she wanted me to her her reply just now.

Once more that flash of inexplicable anger tore through me at the veiled accusation and I snapped back, ''On the contrary, I have not forgotten anything about that night Orianna, nor about you!'' My voice rose sharply as I felt some of the emotions I had kept tightly bottled up for four months, start to bubble to the surface, desperate for release.

There had been no Decepticon signal, no indication of their presence since we left the cemetery. /Perhaps I could risk stealing a few moments...?/. Even as the thought began to form in my processor, I noticed a small park area off to left, and I made my way towards it. The way this conversation was headed, I may have need of my holoform so Orianna might be able to see some of the emotions I have been feeling rather than a disembodied voice speak to her of them.

After a few moments of seething contemplation on my previous outburst, Orianna's voice broke the silence. It was cold and somewhat spiteful as she shook her head and placed her booted foot on my dash yet again. ''Yeah, well, your actions indicate otherwise, at least that's the impression I got from Lennox.'' She snorted softly as I pulled off the road. ''For you, it's as though it never happened.'' My brakes hissed as we came to a stop under some trees. Orianna looked around confused as she muttered under breath. ''I wish it hadn't.''

Engaging my holoform, I took some delight in noting Orianna's gasp of shock as I stared back at her from the passenger seat across the cabin. Her eyes flicked over my form, and I noted with interest how she seemed to fidget uncomfortably at my proximity and quickly removed her foot from my dash. ''Is that what you want Orianna? To forget what happened?'' I tried to sound as calm and neutral as I could, yet inside, I felt that same feeling of desperation and fear rising within me as that night I kissed her. /And look what came of that decision!/. Though I wanted to move closer to her, I dared not encroach on her space.

Orianna's mouth moved silently for a moment before she nodded her head and turned to face me, a defiant look on her face. ''Well, yes. I guess so. If you recall, that was the aim of my leaving Prime. To try and put what happened behind us and move forward in some way.'' She scoffed once as she folded her arms across her chest, ''You seem to have already achieved that, 'bout time I caught up.''

I shook my head slowly. My eyes searched hers and I felt my hand slide imperceptibly closer towards hers as I sought a reconnection with her, however tenuous. ''Orianna. Please do not do me the disservice of believing Major Lennox's mistaken impression of my conduct these past few months as being an accurate assessment of how I truly feel.'' I exhaled slowly as I struggled to maintain a controlled and measured façade. My hand crept ever closer towards her as I stared intently at her.

Orianna snorted derisively as she looked from my face to my hand and back again. ''How you truly feel?'' Angry eyes searched mine as a small sneer tugged at the corner of her lip. ''Jesus Christ Optimus! I don't think even you know that!''

I froze as I eyed the woman before me. Her words were like a verbal slap that sent me reeling. No one had ever been bold enough to make such an accusation against me. But her audacity was not what galled me. It was the fact she was right.

/Though I did not want to admit that to her. Not now/.