Chapter Eight

Jasper

I enjoyed our evenings together even though we often talked little. The silence was companionable and having Bella sleep here made it easy to watch over her.

I was glad she had liked the crib and was amazed when Maggie made a point of complimenting the workmanship personally. She had thawed somewhat towards me and I was sure Bella was responsible for that.

It seemed that Bella's stomach grew by the day and I knew it was becoming uncomfortable for her to sleep on the narrow bunk so I pushed two together. She should be sleeping in comfort in her own bed but when I suggested as much she just shook her head.

"I feel safer here. Unless you'd prefer that I didn't stay. I'm sorry, I know that I've been taking you for granted, Jasper."

I stopped her at that point. I didn't want her thinking she was being a nuisance but how could I tell her that I enjoyed her company without sounding like a creep?

Then one evening she didn't appear as usual and although I waited it was in vain. I was disappointed, but it was her choice. Earlier in the day, I'd watched her walk slowly up the hill with Maggie and knew the two women were visiting the graves of Maggie's children. The past few days Bella had taken to accompanying Maggie even though the slope was becoming a struggle for her.

I spent the night carving another wooden animal. I intended to paint the collection I had made and fashion them into a mobile to give Bella for the little one. They were a mixture of farm animals, a pig, sheep and a cow and the fantastic, a dragon, a unicorn, that kind of thing. Most were now ready for painting, this elephant was the last one.

Would Bella's child be a boy or a girl? I'd asked her one evening if she had a preference and her answer made me smile. "So long as it's healthy I don't care. I'm just longing to hold him or her in my arms and tell them how much I love them."

Deciding this was the time I replied, "The little one already knows and it loves you too."

She frowned, "How do you know?"

Then understanding dawned and her face brightened, "You can feel my baby's emotions can't you?"

I nodded, "I wasn't sure if I should say anything. I didn't want you to think I'd been snooping around in places that weren't my business."

She had smiled and kissed me on the cheek, "Thank you again, Jasper. If you can feel our love then I know my little one is going to be OK. I was so scared that it might have sensed Edward's hostility. It would have been terrible to know your father wanted you dead."

She was shivering and I put an arm comfortingly around her, "Hey, don't think about that. You love the baby you're carrying and that's all that matters right now."

The memory of that innocent kiss was burned into my mind. I could still feel her warm lips against my cold skin.

Winter was fast approaching. We'd been here at the farm since September and it was now the middle of November. I know Maggie was surprised that Bella had still not given birth. Her pregnancy had been shorter but I thought the longer Bella held on the more chance the little one had of surviving and Bella seemed healthy enough apart from the fact that she was now finding it difficult to walk around with ease.

I carried on with my work, as usual, the next morning until Maggie came hurrying up.

"Have you seen Bella this morning?"

"No, why?"

"She's not answering the door and I can't get in. I thought she might still be with you."

"Bella never came last night. I thought it was too much of a struggle and that she'd decided to stay home in the warm."

Dread rose in me, surely nothing had happened overnight? I felt sick with worry as I threw down my tools and hurried with Maggie back to the cabin. I had wanted to run, vampire speed, but at the same time I didn't want to antagonize Maggie, we still needed her help and in the past few weeks she and I had gotten along much better.

I tried to push the door open but something was wedged against it. There was no second door so I broke a window and climbed through only to see Bella slumped by the door. She was dressed and ready to go out and I wondered how long she had been there. Is this why she never turned up last night? Had she collapsed at the door? If so it meant she had been here like this all night.

Cursing myself for not checking on my charge last night when she failed to show up, I picked her up and carried her through to the bedroom laying her gently on the bed.

Maggie joined me and after I pulled off Bella's boots she checked her charge over.

"I think she just fainted. She's cold though. Can you light the wood burner and get some extra blankets? I think she's been lying there all night."

I felt guilty for my neglect as I hurried to do her bidding. I was sure Maggie would blame me.

When I heard voices in the bedroom I was relieved, at least Bella was conscious.

She smiled at me wanly as I joined them, "Sorry, I think I gave you both a bit of a shock. I don't know what happened. One minute I was getting ready to visit you and then…Nothing."

She looked up at me pleadingly, "Jasper, is the little one OK?"

Maggie frowned at the strangeness of the question but I just nodded, "Yes, I can feel concern for you and love."

Bella sighed in relief explaining my gift to Maggie who glanced at me a little awkwardly.

"You must have been quite disconcerted by my emotions when we met, Jasper."

Now, this was a breakthrough. She never used my name unless absolutely necessary as if to do so would somehow make me more human. I just nodded, "I got over it."

"Right, well. No more night time excursions for you young lady. This was a warning. You have to be more careful. More rest and less gallivanting! If you want to see Jasper he'll just have to come to the cabin."

So, my exclusion had ended. That made things a lot easier all around.

"Thank you, Maggie. I know that wasn't an easy decision to make."

She nodded, "It doesn't mean that I trust you anymore, but Bella does and I bow to her judgement on the matter. I think it would be better if Bella agrees that you spend more time here. You've done everything I put on that list and more. You deserve a little time off. You can use it usefully by watching over your charge."

From that day I spent Bella's every waking moment with her, talking, reading, helping her up when she couldn't rise from the chair or bed and wondering if it were possible for her to get any bigger without bursting. Maggie and I were both beginning to worry that maybe something was wrong but I didn't want to attempt contacting Carlisle and put Bella in danger of the Volturi possibly discovering her hideout.

Then he managed to get one message to Maggie which had arrived a few days ago giving us all the news. We had decided to keep it from Bella as it wasn't good.

While I watched her sleep I took it from my pocket and read it again.

Dear Maggie, I'm sorry I haven't been in touch but as I told you, it is very dangerous and getting more so but I thought Jasper should be warned. Edward went to the Volturi for help in finding Bella. Of course, Aro was interested. I suspect that he has offered their help because he wants Bella, with or without the child. His curiosity about hybrids is well known and the chance to meet one in the flesh was a great temptation.

Edward has no idea how Aro might use the information he has been given. He never thinks things through but I hope i can trust my Volturi friends to make the correct decisions. It will be up to Jasper with your help to keep Bella and the child, God willing, safe. I wish I could be there to help you but I know if anyone can help Bella during this stressful time it is you, my dearest Maggie.

The Volturi have trackers looking for Bella and for me. Aro knows that the only person who could have arranged for Bella to disappear so completely is me. i do not know if he is aware that Jasper is with you but it would be prudent to assume so.

So far I have managed to remain one step ahead of Demetri but it is only a matter of time before they catch up with me and your existence becomes known. I wish I could keep my promise to protect you but I'm afraid that is no longer a possibility. If Aro touches me he will know everything. Stay vigilant and if you become suspicious about anything then please make alternative arrangements for Bella's safety.

Jasper, if Maggie is willing then she should be able to protect a new hiding place. Bella's only hope is that her child's gift, if it survives, may protect them both or she may be forced to remain in hiding for the rest of her life.

Rose and Emmett were approached but could tell the Volturi nothing which is just as I planned it. Alice's gift means she stays free and tries to guide Esme and me away from danger. We all send our hopes for the best to all of you.

Carlisle."

The longer Carlisle remained free the better for us because Bella was in no state to travel. She was sleeping a lot but found moving uncomfortable and I was concerned by her lack of color and loss of spirit. She was still determined that she could do this and that her baby would survive but that fight was fast draining her of her remaining strength.

Bella broke my reverie as she woke up pulling herself up to a sitting position and groaning.

"Are you OK?"

She put a hand to her belly and shook her head, "I feel sick."

Before I could act she vomited over the bed and I called Maggie who had recently started to sleep on the couch in the cabin. I helped Bella into the bathroom then left her to Maggie's gentle ministrations while I cleared up and put the comforter into the soak remembering that was what my mom did when I was a kid and one of us was sick.

They were closeted away for some time so I made a drink of warm milk for Bella, remade the bed and hung the comforter outside only to find it had started to snow. It looked like the sky was full of it and I sensed bad weather coming.

When Bella came back into the bedroom she looked pale as death but smiled and tried to reassure me that she was OK.

"I am so sorry, Jasper. That was gross."

I shook my head and waved away her apologies.

"Are you feeling better?"

I handed her the milk and she sipped it slowly, "Actually, no. I still feel odd. Can you still feel the baby?"

I concentrated and nodded, putting her mind at rest, "Yeah, the little one is worried about you."

She laughed, "Even my own baby worries about me. I truly am blessed. Maybe it's getting close. I don't think I can take much more waiting."

She glanced out of the window and gasped with pleasure, "Oh, it's snowing! It looks so beautiful."

"I'll get you something light to eat, you have to keep strong."

Maggie left us and closed the door.

"What is it, Bella?"

I could feel her fear.

"I don't know if I can do this, Jasper. I've tried so hard to be strong but I'm scared. What if the little one dies? What if we do something wrong? Do you think Maggie will be able to help me?"

I knelt at her side and took her hand in mine concerned at how cold it felt.

"Bella, you are the strongest woman I know. You can do this and remember you're not alone. You have Maggie who has already been through it, you have me and you have the little one. We're all rooting for you. I promise you I won't leave your side until it's over and we can put your baby into your arms. For now, I want to try something if you'll let me."

She stared at me, her eyes dark pools of fear and nodded, "Sure. What?"

"Close your eyes and think of holding your baby in your arms."

She did as I instructed and I fed on her joy, giving her strength and taking away her fear. It was something I had learned to cope with many years ago, The fear that almost paralyzed you. I would carry Bella's fears for her and leave her calmer and able to rest.

By the time Maggie returned with scrambled eggs and more warm milk Bella was sitting up and looking much better.

Maggie glanced at me and nodded. She knew of my gift and must have worked out what I was doing and seemed to approve.

Only when Bella had eaten and was once more sleeping peacefully did she approach the subject.

"You care very deeply for Bella don't you, Jasper?"

"She's my responsibility and I take that very seriously."

She watched me for a long time before speaking again.

"How did Bella come to marry the man who betrayed her? Why did you allow it?"

"That's a strange question. It had nothing to do with me. She met Edward and fell in love with him."

"You mean he clouded her judgment with his vampire shine. He made sure she wouldn't notice anyone else."

I shrugged, "I can't answer that."

"Were you involved with someone at the time?"

"Yes. Alice, Bella's best friend."

"Ah, perhaps that explains it. Loyalty can be a bitch."

I frowned, wondering where she was going with this but content to let her go at her own pace.

"You know that Bella is connected to you, don't you? And her child. You feel its emotions."

"I feel everyone's emotions, it's my curse."

"I think you know what I mean even if you aren't prepared to admit it yet. She's going to need you, Jasper. And I don't just mean right now, or today, this week or even this month. You should admit your feelings for her. It would make her life so much easier if she knew you felt the connection as strongly as she does. Carlisle told me about mates and I admit I didn't believe that deep a connection existed, not until today. Why are you so reluctant to take her? Is it because of the baby? Don't you realize that the baby knows its mother, it feels what she feels, it recognizes you?"

I wanted to argue with Maggie, tell her she was wrong but I couldn't lie to her.

"It just doesn't seem right. She's vulnerable and scared and her husband tried to force her to kill the child. She's all mixed up and certainly not in any condition to be making decisions."

"It seems to me that now is just the time she needs to hear it, but it's your decision. Just don't take too long, things are speeding up. I told Bella that I started throwing up shortly before I went into labor. It could be any time now and not a moment too soon looking at the state she's in."

"It's snowing and I think we're in for one hell of a storm. It should slow down any trackers if Carlisle has been taken."

"Then I'll pray for a blizzard."

I peered out the window at the fast darkening sky and thought that her prayers might well be answered!