"Miss Benson?" The doctor asked, and when he turned his gaze at Olivia, she felt as if her whole body had gone numb. The doctor's gaze was serious, and with the experience her job had given her, she would have recognized the look even in her dreams.

Everything wasn't okay.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Is he… Dead?" Olivia's voice was barely audible. For one terrible moment, the doctor glanced at his papers, but then shook his head.

"No, he's not. The surgery was difficult but went well, and his condition is stable at the moment."

The relief was so immense that Olivia felt tears begin to flow down her cheeks, even though she didn't realize she was crying. She leaned against the back of the chair and closed her eyes while she focused on breathing.

"What happened?" She heard Fin say and opened her eyes again. She couldn't see the doctor clearly through the tears, so she had to blink.

"The bullet hit the left side of his chest, causing his left lung to collapse. He lost a lot of blood, but he was lucky as the bullet practically kissed his heart. It had a small scratch that shouldn't be dangerous, but we're actively monitoring it all the time. Currently, the biggest risk is precisely that the scratch will open. In addition, even though his condition is stable, he is very weak, and it is possible that his condition will worsen over the next day."

Fin glanced at Olivia, and the color had escaped her face again.

"Okay… What is his probability of surviving?" He asked, swallowing hard, and the doctor looked at Olivia hesitantly before answering:

"I'd say about 40-50%."

For a moment everyone was silent, and Olivia felt as if the doctor had crushed her soul to pieces. Then she waved her hand to Fin and lifted her daughter carefully from her lap.

"Could you hold Violet, Fin? I need to see him."

"It's not visiting hours now," the doctor began to resist, but Olivia turned her gaze to him with her eyes blazing.

"I don't care. I must see him, allowed or not."

The doctor looked at them hesitantly as Fin sat on Olivia's place, and as she lowered the girl carefully onto Fin's laps, they both looked at the doctor demanding. Then he sighed and waved his hand at Olivia to follow him.

"Fine," he said, and walked to the waiting room door. Olivia was just about to follow him when Fin grabbed her arm.

"Tell Stabler that I'll kill him if he dies," he muttered quietly, and she nodded, biting her lip. Then she disappeared out the door after the doctor. They walked quietly along the long hallway, and then they stopped at the door of the ICU. The doctor opened the door, and Olivia felt as if her feet were jelly when they stepped into the room.

"He's over there," the doctor pointed, and that was when Olivia saw Elliot. He was laying in bed with his eyes closed, and the countless wires and hoses attached to him surrounded the bed. He looked more fragile than ever before, and the sight was too much for her. She burst into tears and with a few steps staggered to him.

"I'll .. I'll leave you two alone for a moment," the doctor announced. "Let us know immediately if anything happens."

Olivia nodded, pressed her head against Elliot's shoulder, and the doctor left the room. Only the steady beep of the devices accompanied her sobbing, as she cried from the bottom of her heart. As the crying began to calm, she raised her head and wiped her eyes with her hand.

"Hi, El," she said quietly, fumbling his fingers to take his hand into her own. "You really scared me. Violet is fine, thanks to you."

Her heart felt squeezing in her chest as she thought about what the police officer had told her based on eyewitnesses' accounts. Despite his injuries, Elliot had protected their daughter as long as he had been able to, and Olivia hadn't doubted it for a moment. She raised her hand to his cheek and stroked it gently.

"But listen to me. We need you here. We all do. Violet, your older kids… And I…" Her voice shattered. "I can't lose you now. Not now that I've finally found a home with you, and I don't know what to do without you. So please, stay with us, honey," she burst into tears again, and pressed her face against his cheek. "You are my everything, El," she sobbed. "Don't leave me, please… Please…"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia wouldn't have liked to leave Elliot, but the doctors had come to do some tests for him, and she had had to leave. She was walking slowly back towards the waiting room, where Fin and Violet were waiting, but her legs felt heavy, and her head spun. She had to lean against the wall for a moment, close her eyes and breathe deeply.

While working at SVU, all the detectives were in constant danger. When Elliot had been her partner, he had been injured and hospitalized many times, and each time she had been equally scared. But now the situation was still different. He was no longer "just" her working partner and best friend, he was her life-companion and the father of her daughter. He and Violet were the centers of her life, and the mere thought of losing Elliot made her feel like someone was tearing her guts into pieces. If he died, something inside her would die as well. And Violet… The girl had just got a father, and losing him…

Stop it, she told herself. He's still alive, and he'll do everything he can to stay with you, you know that.

Olivia sighed and set off to continue her walk towards the waiting room. She heard from afar how Violet cried, and she quickened her steps. Upon entering the waiting room, her gaze hit Fin, who desperately tried to calm the crying girl.

"Liv is coming soon, come here."

"No! I want Mom! The girl screamed and Olivia crossed her arms.

"Violet! I know you're upset but…"

That was when her daughter jumped to her feet and rushed to her. She grabbed her mother's jacket and looked at her begging: "Mom! I want to see Dad!"

Olivia sighed and wrapped her arms around the girl. "I know, sweetheart, but it's not possible right now. He has to sleep that he gets better."

"But what if I don't wake him?" Violet asked, but Olivia shook her head sadly.

"No, you'll see him as soon as he wakes up."

If he wakes up.

Stop it, she bit her tongue to make the evil sound, which was talking inside her head, quiet down, and then turned her gaze to Fin, who was sitting on a chair looking tired.

"She slept for a moment, but apparently my lap wasn't as good as yours, because she woke up pretty soon after you left."

Olivia sighed, sat down and patted the chair next to her. Violet jumped on it, and despair flickered in her blue eyes. For six years, Olivia had feared deep down that she would never see the man again, from whom her daughter had inherited her eyes, and the same fear had returned more real than ever. The girl would have an appointment with a psychologist in the morning, but now that she was awake, Olivia decided it was better for them to discuss together first what had happened.

"Honey, how are you feeling?" She asked, and at the same time pulled her daughter to lean against herself. At the same time, she started to twirl the girl's hair in her fingers, hoping it would calm her down. "Are you sad? Scared?"

"I don't know," Violet answered. "Why someone wanted to hurt Dad?"

"Because there are bad people," she explained, and at the same time felt a sting in her heart. She's seven years old, we shouldn't have this conversation yet.

"Did they hurt Dad because they wanted to kidnap me?" Violet asked, and with her question, surprised Olivia.

"No, it's not your fault, and it's very important that you remember that. It was not your fault at all," she emphasized her words and looked at her daughter firmly. In this situation, it was crucial that the girl's own guilt would be eliminated immediately, otherwise it could affect her entire life.

"But…" Violet bit her lip uncertainly. "But why did he lift me behind the pillar then?"

"He did it because he wanted to protect you. But he had gotten hurt before that, so he just wanted to make sure you wouldn't get hurt too. It was not your fault; it was bad people's fault."

Violet fell silent and started to stare in front of her as Olivia was stroking her hair. But then she turned her gaze to her mother, her jaw quivering, and tears rolled down her cheeks as she whispered:

"I don't want him to die."

Out of the corner of her eye, Olivia saw Fin wipe his eyes, and it almost made her burst into tears again. She wrapped both arms around her daughter and pulled her tightly into her arms.

"He will be fine," she replied in a stifled voice, hoping more than anything that she was right.

Because if Elliot dies… I don't know what will happen to me.