The other districts passed unnoticed. As if everything ended up mixed together until I could only hear a background noisy, nothing discerned, just muffed like the static at the television when the signal is not good. The victors avoid talking to me, but throw me calculated glances every once in a while, when they thought I wouldn't notice, they try to figure it out who am I. A bloody killer? A child? Dangerous? Unfortunate? All of them fit for me and that is why in most cases I stayed alone or stuck in a conversation with the mayor's family.

It was easier than I thought it would be and if it was in any other situation, I believe I would have enjoyed. Being able see different places, eat exotic foods, learn about costumes and traditions from other districts. All wonderful if it was not by the fact that we are celebrating the death of twenty-three children and the murder of some of them is the main star in the feast.

But there is nothing I can do about it, except watch their families and speak words written by other people. Most of them I felt no strong feelings and their loved ones didn't blame for their death, just like the Myrtle and Basil families, they never truly expect their children to come back alive and I had little to no interaction with their tributes, there was no space for anything other than the personal grudge that the one that have survived was me and not them.

That was not the case for the career districts. The quarrying district seemed made of careers and I can see that Brutus and Enobaria do not look any different than the rest of the population with their bulky physique and threatening appearances, all of them also look personally offended that I had won instead of only Augusta and Felix's families as if I was unworthy the glory that comes with being a victor. If they were closer to me, I can bet at least one would have tried to spit in my face. The dinner was also uncomfortable since the victors from 2 seem to like to talk about their experiences in the arena and how they chase and killed people, bragging about their skills and when they ran out of stories, they decided that would be fun to remember the most horrendous deaths that occur in the Hunger Games history. With a special focus on the murder of the tributes of the bottom districts.

I did not eat that night.

I could blame them, and how sickening it is that they still haven't realized the truth about the Games and the society we live in. How the Capitol hold our shackles and treat us like puppets in their disturbed show. How they deal with anyone that refuse to attend it. Augusta and Felix had runaround, they were young and naïve, their families and friends said it was a glory and I doubt they had really met a victor before their volunteer. It was a dream for them, a dream they would never wake up. But those were fully grown adults, some may have been used as prostitutes or know someone that has, to be overjoy like this…

It is disgusting.

There is a difference between being ignorant about something and ignoring something.

The first is forgivable, the second is not.

But it was not the reason why I was uneasy.

Tomorrow is the last district before the Capitol. District 1. The Luxury District, that specialized in manufacturing high quality items that almost no one from the districts could afford, or at least not a normal citizen. Jewelry, perfume, make up and so much more. I don't think the before will consider these items extravagant, not like here, there most women wore make up to work, earrings and necklaces were common accessories or that is just how I remember, the memories now are involved in a fog that I can't know which parts are true and which I just fill in the void, some came to me surprisingly clear, others not so much. In my district I only saw a bottle of perfume once, it was an old thing, mostly empty and showed off by one of the merchant kids to display her family status in front of the others.

Every kid in my class was jealous. Me included.

But most important this district is the birth place of Aurelius. The only tribute I was direct responsible for the death. And it wasn't a pretty one too.

He was the one that was supposed to survive. To win the 66th Hunger Games and come back home as a victor to receive all the glory his posh district would give him. That would live for more nine years and probably be killed after the events of the 75th without never stepping in the arena again. At that time would he have realized the horrors of what we've been through and step back from volunteer again? Or Gloss will simply be faster than he? Would he been killed by the Capitol army after being accused of treason or would have his life taken by the rebels after he sided up with our oppressors?

Maybe it was not a lifetime in the common sense that we talk that I had stolen from him. Nine years is not too long… But it is better than nothing. Better than the painful death I inflicted on him. Better than die before his adult years.

And as I stand in the platform looking to his and Silver's families is hard to understand that if it wasn't for my presence, my memories, reincarnation, whatever I decided to call it, this district would be celebrating. Singing prayers to heaven that they won another time. And between the three people with blonde hair and blue eyes another one will stand, another that now is only seem as a hologram in their back, looking smugger and more self-confident than I believed dead were capable of. He must be rolling in his grave, if 1 has graves. I straight my back and refuse to lower my eyes even when thousands of people seem to want me dead. It is different from 2, there everyone looked like they can kill you with their bare hands, I doubt they can't do the same here, but it is more like I was dirt under their feet, uncultured, unworthy, useless and an insult to every single one of them here.

That is why I refuse to bend.

Because in my mind the last words of Aurelius and his insults to my home and people still rings. And I can see that most of them agrees with him, and I hate them for it.

Maybe this is another reason why the Hunger Games work so well. It is not only our primary instinct to survival that makes us kill, somewhere along the 66 years this brutal reality show is going on, we started seeing each other as enemies instead of the Capitol. We despite the careers, they despite the bottom districts, and is so effective that even though I realize it I can't change.

Not in a blink of an eye.

Empty orbs stares holes in the back of my head as blue ones look down on me.

Maybe not in an entire lifetime.

I'm so sorry it took so long for me to post it. I am currently blocked in chapter 29 and didn't want to upload something that could change later. But I am also a reader and hate when I can't discover what will happen next. If there is any mistakes please feel free to tell me, hope you guys enjoy.