In this chapter, as her relationship with Luka is beginning to get more serious, the invitation to meet his loved ones has brought up some old wounds. As a result, she ends up avoiding talking to Luka for a number of days, too afraid sharing her feelings on the matter will upset or bother him. Enter the best friend. What better support network can we have at times than our friends? Alya and Marinette spend a day shopping and when all this comes to light, they talk through everything at length before her best friend gives her a less than gentle push toward the right decision.
Chapter Seven
What Friends Do
A week in her life has never seemed to pass by quite so slowly despite the jam-packed schedule. Every morning has seen her waking up extra early to get in some work on a new article of clothing requested by a different client. After a shower and a quick breakfast, she calls to check in on her father and see if help is needed at the bakery -with the answer most days being a "yes." She's met with Alya a few times to discuss the website as well, mostly to explain her current situation and ask if things can be put on pause for a bit. Unfortunately, due to taking on her mother's responsibilities at the bakery, trying to take on the workload the website might bring in will not be feasible. Her best friend is of course completely understanding and supportive. Instead of launching the site, the two of them spend what time they have working out some issues with the layout of the main page. At least holding off on the launch gives them time to troubleshoot some technical issues, so that is a small win.
The days she spends working at the bakery usually end up being some of the longest -getting up at five, putting in the hours there, then coming back home to work on a design project until after midnight. Meals have been smaller and quicker. She does her best to put on a brave face and power through on coffee, determined to not let her parents see the exhaustion she's beginning to feel.
That façade doesn't go on for too terribly long before Tom and Sabine both catch on. Though she insists she still wants to help, they urge her to stay at home and try to get more proper rest after five days of almost no sleep. In the end, the compromise the three of them reach is that she will only help out three days each week, and only for part of the day. Until they can get the situation sorted out with Sabine, she is told by her parentals, the bakery will simply have to assume some different operational hours. Though she wanted to protest, it was difficult to see a better solution for the short-term than what they were proposing -and, at any rate, it wasn't as if they were going to take "no" for an answer. With a healthy amount of reluctance, she'd agreed.
In-between all of this chaos, Marinette finds herself constantly pushing down the anticipation over Luka's invite. At first, she'd been thrilled. In any relationship, this is a big step forward. In their case, though, she knows being invited to meet his family is a testament to the degree of trust he places in her now. It makes her feel truly valued as a partner to see the vulnerability he's willing to open himself up to, because she knows how hard it can be and she can't help but love him all the more for it.
At the same time, this is a much bigger deal than any of their meet-ups. This isn't some simple "dinner and a movie"-type set up. This time, getting together will involve his closest friends and family. His sister and mother will both be there as Juleka is a part of his band and this whole affair will take place at his mother's home. As if that all isn't overwhelming enough, another major factor gives her pause. His mother apparently owns a houseboat and that's where they'll be for this small gathering. As soon as it was used in their conversations, the word conjured a certian set of images and expectations -most of them not altogether pleasant.
'Houseboat, huh? Is he like...rich or something?' Now, on the one hand: Are all rich people boing stiffs and blowhards with no concept of reality, who lack personality and a sense of good humor? Well, no. Strictly speaking, all generalities are false. On the other hand: Marinette has had her own dealings with the children of wealthy people, most of which have been...less than positive. The atmosphere when sitting down to dinner with a wealthy family looking to "get to know the person perusing a relationship with their child" could really be used as a form of torture. All she can remember is a stifling atmosphere settling over such dinner tables, the conversation bland, superficial and dry as every ounce of something resembling fun was extracted from the equation entirely. All the spontaneity was siphoned from dates in a similar fashion -a chaperone sent with you each time to make sure all went according to plan and keep things moving in accordance with a strict schedule.
Long story short, those are not mistakes she's keen on repeating.
Standing before the stove in her small kitchen, an anxious sigh passes over her lips as she flips over an egg in one pan and turns the sizzling bacon in the other.
Well, dwelling on the prospect won't do her any good -it'll probably just end up contributing to her anxiety over the whole thing. Turning off the stove, she moves the food to her plate, turns off the burner, lowers the dirty cookware into the sink and then plops into a chair at the dining table before digging in. She'll have to be at the bakery here in another couple of hours and she's sure there's going to be plenty to do.
'At least I'll have some time to relax tomorro-' The thought dies off mid-way through as it dawns on her that it actually isn't true. Another long sigh falls from her lips. Alas, tomorrow won't be any less hectic than any of the days that preceded it.
When she'd told Alya about her upcoming plans with Luka, the exuberant redhead had insisted they go shopping to pick out some new clothes. She always gets so enthusiastic about this kind of stuff and while Marinette may find it endearing and be just as excited other times, right now, it all just feels tiring. It didn't seem to matter how much she insisted it was a casual group hang-out, her reporter friend would not take no for an answer. Not willing to endure the repetitive requests any longer, she finally conceded and told her friend she'd go -though she only wanted to be out for a couple hours and not the whole day. Alya had excitedly agreed to the stipulation, creating the reason she doesn't have tomorrow to herself.
In all honesty, it isn't just Alya who has been enthusiastic about the bluenette woman's new romantic relationship. Every one of her friends has been really fired up about this whole thing since they got back from the beach. They're all worried about her -understandably thanks to her past. She gets that, but this is more than even their usual level of nosiness. Nat has been texting her more frequently, though he should be finishing up his unpacking, settling into his new home and beginning to search for a job. Nino has sent Marinette a few messages checking in -though mostly when Marinette is too busy to be able to reply to Alya in a timely manner. Kim has been sending messages cheering her on as well. And of course, Alya hasn't missed a chance to request details about how things are going. Alex and Max have each respectively stopped by the bakery.
'Real subtle guys.' A grateful smile precedes an exasperated sigh as this thought floats through her mind.
She loves her friends and knows that they mean well, but all this added pressure to have something to tell each of them when they inevitably question her on the matter of her relationship with Luka is draining. On top of the other worries which cloud her mind and weigh on her heart, their curiosity is too much for her to handle.
She finishes her breakfast in silence, taking note of but not reacting to the way her phone buzzes loudly on the tabletop next to her plate of food. The screen clearly indicates the message is from Luka, someone she is still quite happy to hear from even if anxiety is preventing her from responding. Taking her plate back to the sink and rinsing off the residue from her meal, the woman exhales at length -a heavy and exhausted sound that echoes through the otherwise quiet room. It's wrong to ignore him. She knows that. Still, the courage to bring her concerns to light is nowhere to be found.
Realistically, it isn't like she has much time to talk. There's so much that needs to be done right now. Hashing out her anxiety over a wealth gap seems like the lowest priority. In the end, she replies with one short message just letting him know she's getting ready to start work for the day and won't be able to talk. He's a reasonable guy. He'll understand that she's busy.
Spending a few hours on the current piece she's creating eats up the rest of the morning and then her afternoon is working the floor in the bakery. Though exhausted at the end of the day, sleep does not come easily. The young woman ending up tossing and turning for an additional hour after climbing into bed.
Even despite the fact that she had said she wanted today's outing to be short, Marinette begins to slowly unwind. After breakfast at a local place, they end up stopping by several stores. True to form, Alya seems bent on having her try on every cute outfit she comes across. When she feels like she needs a breather and asks for it, the two of them grab coffee at a small café in the shopping district. As she sips on the iced coffee drink, her phone buzzes in her back pocket. It's a message from Luka. Normally, she'd be delighted to hear from him, which she still is, but it also sparks that same anxiety she's felt over the last week. He's asking how things are going and the way the message is phrased leads her to believe that he is feeling anxious as a result of hearing from her less and less as the days have gone by. It's still true that with everything going on, she hasn't had a lot of opportunity to talk with him as often. At the same time, she can't pretend she hasn't been stressing about this upcoming thing at his mom's place and been less talkative for that reason as well.
"What's wrong girl?" Sipping her frozen drink in between the words of the question, a trademark knowing grin can be heard in her friend's tone as she wonders what makes Marinette hesitate to respond to the text.
"It's Luka..." With a somewhat heavy sigh, it occurs to her that the guilt over being reluctant to respond is growing more prevalent. Who knows? Maybe talking about this will help her feel less insecure.
"What's with that face?" As the redheaded woman across the table from her speaks, Marinette's eyes rise from the pouty look she'd fixed on her phone screen to see a worried pair of brown eyes staring back at her. "Has something happened? I thought you'd be all sparkly-eyed and blushing like usual."
Lifting one eyebrow at the clear teasing coming from Alya's side of the table, Marinette shakes her head, feeling heat rush along the back of her neck.
"I don't really know what to say." She begins, unsure how to explain herself without sounding completely terrible. "Maybe I'm just being dramatic because of that stuff from the past. But this houseboat deal has me stressed out." As much as she wishes this weren't the case, the idea the he may be part of some wealthy family really has her freaked out. It's intimidating. It drags up insecurities. "I know I'm being immature."
"Nah...it makes total sense that you'd feel like this." Alya shrugs as a pair of dumbfounded eyes study her. "You don't exactly have the best experiences where romance is concerned."
"Honestly, it's the idea of the wealth gap that bothers me..." Marinette trails off, knowing exactly how petty her words will make her sound.
"Oh, so that's what it is?" In her few brief interactions with the man, she'd never picked up those vibes from him. He seems like any other average person. But, even if he were secretly loaded, what of it? "Don't avoid him over something so silly."
"But...it makes me nervous." As well as the fact that it drags up a whole lot of unpleasantness.
Ah. It's much easier for the redhead to understand where her friend's reservations stem from now. She was there to pick up the pieces in the wake of that entire mess, so of course she understands where this sense of trepidation comes from. Reaching out over the small table, the redhead places a hand on Marinette's shoulder. "I get it, but I don't think you need to worry so much. I'm sure that he'll tell you the same exact thing if you ask him. He'll tell you the truth."
"What if..."
Holding out a palm in the "stop" gesture toward her anxious friend, Alya just shakes her head.
Marinette's mouth snaps closed again, knowing Alya has more thoughts to share.
"I'm telling you now that you're probably overthinking it." Thinking back on that morning several days ago in Mari's kitchen brings a confident smile to the reporter's face. She has seen a compelling reason to believe Luka cares deeply for her friend. "Trust me on this one: even if by some twist he were some ultra-mega-rich dude -which he isn't- that boy ain't going anywhere. He's crazy about you. And I know you're basically feeling the same way about him. Don't let the idiots from your past fuck up something that makes you this happy right now."
The smallest smile beginning to brighten her features at her friend's reassurance, Marinette takes a deep breath and types out a quick reply to the musician's message. She explains that she's been busy helping her parents out at the bakery and adds that she has been feeling anxious over their upcoming visit with his family. Pressing send before she can talk herself out of it makes her feel like a small weight has lifted off her shoulders. She may not be completely convinced of everything her friend seems so sure of, but she knows she likes this man. Her degree of confidence that he will honestly respond to her questions and help to ease her worries is high. Even if Alya isn't right about everything, she is right about this: Marinette can't let unfortunate experiences in her past color how this relationship plays out. This time around, she's found something worth doing battle with her anxiety to protect and maintain.
"So," Getting to her feet, she takes her tray and dumps the trash, throwing recyclables in a separate bin "Where to now?"
With a excitable grin, Alya slings the few bags they'd picked up during their excursion over her arms and jumps up from her spot at the table. Following Marinette, she throws away the garbage on her tray as well.
Uh-oh. She doesn't like that look. It means her friend has some sort of agenda. She's on a mission for something specific and it's the reason behind the sudden shopping spree.
"Come on!" Grabbing her friend's hand, she pulls the woman along behind her. "There are a couple of things I know you're gonna need sooner or later."
About twenty minutes later, one of the two women is sifting through one section of a display inside Victoria's Secret while the other stands off to one side, watching her friend with a somewhat embarrassed grimace. Now, it's not that she doesn't occasionally enjoy getting herself something pretty and lacy to wear at home. As much as the next person, wearing pretty clothes that flatter her form boosts her confidence, too. Even so, she really doesn't like the idea of what her friend seems to be trying to do here. In the end, she should have guessed at least part of today's outing had to do with shopping for these specific items.
"Come on girl, don't give me that face." Scrunching up her nose, Alya peeks out from behind the shelves. Honestly, Marinette can be shy about some of the oddest things. "As if there's a person in this mall that doesn't need to buy underwear."
"If you think I'm shy about going out to buy underwear, let me remind you that I do so without your help all the time." At the somewhat sharp tone her friend has assumed, Alya tosses her hands up in an "I surrender" fashion before smiling to herself and returning to her rummaging. Even in spite of the "I'm humoring your killjoy attitude" Alya displays on the metaphorical flashing neon sign above her head, the fashion designer presses on. "Obviously I need underwear. I just don't know why you think I need any of this." Grabbing onto one article hanging on a rack next to her, the look on her face only sours. Seriously. An entire shopping spree just to create an excuse to buy lingerie because she's going to visit Luka at his family home in another few days? Of course, it does mean that she and the musician have grown closer, but it's still uncomfortable. Aren't these two things really strange to think about in connection with one another?
"Well...you're finally back in the dating game again..." Her tone is intentionally suggestive, begging Marinette to quit being stubborn and allow the explanation to stop here. Really, both women understand the point the reporter is getting at.
"Yeah, so?" God, she really hopes Alya is not taking this conversation where it seems like she is.
"So...If you end up doing what a lot of people who are dating do..." She most certainly is taking this conversation exactly where the young fashion designer does not want to go.
"Alya..." She tries her hand at issuing a polite warning, knowing full well it isn't likely to work.
"It might be nice for you both if you had some newer, cuter things to wear just in case." With these words, she pulls one item from the shelf, holding it up before her friend and frowning before tossing it back onto the display.
"Alya!" Face and ears ablaze, not only can the young woman not believe her friend is bringing this up idea up in connection with her being about to meet his family, she's also astounded that this suggestion is being made only a few weeks into their relationship. "Why are you bringing up this kinda stuff? I'm meeting his mom and sister. I'm not going there to hook up. We've only been together for...what, like six weeks!"
"So you're telling me that you've not even thought about it once?" Even for someone so reserved and careful when it comes to new romantic relationships, it's unlikely her answer here will be yes.
Turning an even deeper shade of red, her eyes fall to the floor, breaking the contact with the other woman. She can't deny that she's had thoughts and feelings that lead in that direction, though the specific idea her friend alludes to hasn't been something on her mind until this conversation. With how busy she's been since returning from her vacation, there's just barely been enough time left over to maintain the incredibly good thing she has going with Luka at present. On top of that, she has his boundaries to consider -with his hang-ups about touch, she must wonder if deeper intimacy than their current level will even be possible for him.
"I can practically guarantee he's thought about it." Raising one eyebrow at her blue-haired friend, the boisterous young woman punctuates her assertion with an impish smirk.
"Alya!" Honestly, in this case, Marinette isn't sure she agrees. Though his touch barrier is greatly reduced around her, the fashion designer knows some measure of it still remains. She'd caught a glimpse of it during his anxiety attack the other night. An aversion as strong as that is a formidable obstacle to overcome and needs to be handled with great care.
At any rate, at the moment, she is happy with their progress and would rather take things slow. She has her own baggage to overcome as well. This slow pace -getting to know one another and letting a relationship caught somewhere in-between close friends and lovers develop organically feels like exactly what they both need. There's no reason at all to rush things.
"What? I'm not saying anything that isn't obviously true."
"You shouldn't just decide how someone else feels..." Irritation that her friend would make an assumption like this doubles down on her embarrassment and it must show in her expression because Alya quickly corrects the blunder.
"You're right, I shouldn't assume." A smile soon breaks the slightly serious expression that had just come to rest on her features. "So then, how about you?"
"Alya..." Face burning, she believes wholeheartedly that she would jump into a sinkhole if one appeared in front of her at this very moment to escape having this conversation in such an open, public setting.
"Do you hate the idea?" Okay, this reaction contains a far higher degree of discomfort than even her shy friend typically reaches. Concern floods Alya's senses. Is there some reason Marinette is opposed to this topic when it involves Luka specifically, or is it something else? Though she's never heard her friend express any repulsion when it comes to sex in general, if something has changed in more recent years, Alya would feel bad bringing up a topic which just disgusts her friend over and over again. She drops the garment she'd just picked up back into the bin and takes a step closer, studying her friend's facial expression for clues as she awaits a response.
For a split second, she thinks on it. Contained within her vague imaginings is a possible scenario in which Luka has similar thoughts about her and enjoys them. That makes her feel giddy, like a schoolgirl with her first crush. Even the vague idea of it in her mind feels wonderful. She also thinks briefly on how every small touch has felt so far and finds herself fancying the idea of something more intimate. Not a single part of it is worthy of hate. As a matter of fact, quite the opposite. Straightening herself, she locks eyes with Alya, despite still feeling flushed.
"No. I don't hate the idea of it at all." Though she knows there's much more to say here, she doesn't elaborate.
"Then, no worries. Those feelings by themselves aren't inherently bad. Feeling that way and wanting someone else to feel that way about you are healthy and normal things." She can't believe she needs to remind her friend of these facts.
"I know that already." She's never been under the impression that they aren't. It's just that it doesn't do her shoddy nerves any good to discuss things like this in such an open, public space, among a few other key factors. "You're kinda making it sound like it should happen or something. Other people -people he cares about- will be there and the whole point is meeting them. It's an awkward time to be bringing attention to sex, I guess...and...there are some other things that make me prefer to take it slow with Luka."
Though not complete, a measure of understanding has now been reached. Sometimes she gets so gung-ho about these things that she forgets to pay attention to a differing perspective from her own. Closing the gap remaining between the two of them, she wraps her best friend in a tight hug, letting out a sigh of relief. She had been attempting to be a supportive best friend in the way she knows how, but it seems like she's missing some important information when it comes to Marinette's new relationship. What needs to happen now is a serious talk about everything going on in her best friend's mind. Backing out of the hug, she offers a small, apologetic smile.
"Okay, point taken. It doesn't need to have anything to do with this particular time you get together. But maybe in the future," with a grin, she straightens up and gently squeezes the place on her friend's shoulder where her hand still rests, "it sounds like you might want him to look at you that way, right?"
Well, there's no rebuttal here. All she can do is offer an embarrassed nod in return, shy smile brightening her features as she glances gratefully at Alya. Though she can be a little too forward at times, her best friend means well and wants her to be happy.
"Okay, so we can pick out a few things just for the fun of it." She clears her throat before continuing, tone shifting into something a little less gentle and more serious. "I know you said you wanted to keep today short, but if you don't mind, I was hoping to come hang out at your place for dinner and binge-watching. And...maybe we can talk through everything that's been going on. That fine?"
Well, she had genuinely been hoping that today could be restful, but maybe it still can be. Just in a slightly different way. The idea Alya proposes does sound like a rather nice night and finally getting an opportunity to explain the details of her new relationship could help to take some of the weight off her shoulders. Smiling back, she nods.
"Yeah, that sounds fun."
After another half an hour of silly banter and fun conversation, the two of have each picked out a few new sets of bras and underwear and are headed home with their haul. Stopping to pick up some Chinese food for dinner, they head back to Marinette's place and unload the bags from their excursion inside the front door before putting on a movie and digging in to the food. When they begin a marathon of old and familiar movies to just have on in the background is when the real discussion happens.
"Alright..." Clapping her hands against her upper thighs, the redhead turns toward the other woman to open the conversation. "There's obviously a lot you want to talk about."
"Yeah, kinda...there's a lot going on...my head's kinda a jumble..." If she just jumps right in, the young designer is sure her mind will get lost wading through a veritable sea of different and unsorted thoughts and the whole point of this talk will get lost in her stream on consciousness.
"That's fine." Alya shrugs, trying to curb the anxiety before it can get kicked up into a huge frenzy. "Just start at the beginning. I know you guys met at the beach. I know you both like each other. I know there was plenty of flirting. Fill it in from there."
"Okay," She begins with a deep breath, turning to face her friend more directly, "After the getting back from vacation, we've gone out together several times. We have a lot in common, we can talk for forever, things have been generally going well."
Alya nods. "Yeah, the texts you sent sounded like you guys had fun."
"We did! Oh, right! Did I tell you we went to see a horror movie by mistake?" Getting a little off-topic here, but she knows that Alya will find this little tidbit amusing.
As predicted, she instantly snorts in response, chuckling to herself as she manages a stuttering reply in between bouts of laughter. "Accidentally? How?!"
"I thought the title sounded innocent enough and we'd paid already. I didn't realize it was gonna be what it was." Feeling sheepish, the bluenette plucks a stray hair from her clothing.
"Luka didn't warn you?" He seems like a pretty observant guy, Alya has trouble imagining he simply didn't realize Marinette might be scared.
"I don't think I'd told him yet that it's not really my favorite genre and he was trying not to just assume I'd hate it. On the plus side, once I realized what was happening, he let me hide against his chest and held me the whole time." A little ripple of delight runs through her as she recounts the story.
"This just keeps on getting better. By all means, go on..." Leaning her elbows down onto her crossed legs, the woman's chin falls to a resting place in her palm as she watches those blue bell eyes with interest.
"He stayed over that night." This one is bound to get some attention.
"Whoa, whoa...hold up for one damn minute. He what?" Alya leans in, looking as though she feels left out. "So he's stayed the night before and you didn't tell me?!"
"I'm telling you now..." Feeling sheepish under the look in Alya's inquisitive brown eyes, the bluenette only just manages this short reply.
After a moment, Alya heaves a sigh. "Fine, okay...keep going. Why'd he stay over?"
"It was because he felt so guilty. He thought I had a terrible time during the movie because I was scared. I asked if he wanted a do-over and invited him to stay if he did." Though the company was nice to have when she otherwise would have been on edge and too frightened to rest comfortably, it's not like she had no other feelings about a sleepover with someone she has romantic feelings toward. The novelty of the situation she found herself in had caused her to feel a little overwhelmed by how quickly it seemed like things were progressing. But now she understands that she'd been blowing it all out of proportion.
"Go on..."
"We made a pillow fort and spent the night binge watching movies."
"And?" This is a clear prompt. She's looking for the "but."
"And he's incredibly thoughtful and kind -once we were too tired to stay up, we just kinda fell asleep wherever we were. I was on the floor when I fell asleep and when I woke up, he's traded me places. I thought that was very sweet..." the explanation continues, those periwinkle eyes softening further as the memories of that night -him swapping places with her to give her a more comfortable resting place in particular- float through her mind.
In truth, Alya isn't very surprised to hear things didn't escalate that night. It strikes her as both Luka and Marinette's natural approach to their relationship to have an innocent night of watching movies before simply drifting off to sleep. As she listens to the story her friend tells, it strikes her that they both seem to be looking out for each other in similar ways and a warm smile brightens her features.
"It sounds like things are going well then. And you're comfortable and happy with him, right? You trust him?" Now she's even more curious where all this gushing about Luka is headed. Thus far, there's been no "but" from the other party in this conversation, despite that seemingly being the direction the words were leading the conversation. So what is it that's actually being worked up to here?
"Yes. It's only been a few weeks, so I know what I'm gonna say will sound like I'm not thinking rationally but still...he's honest almost to a fault. He has this incredible respect for other people's boundaries and for consent. It's hard not to feel like I can trust a person like that completely." She's been doing her utmost not to just rush in blindly like she's done in the past, but it can't hurt to acknowledge her own feelings in this current relationship.
"And he seems really happy with you, at least from what I've seen." Alya still can't get that utterly joyful expression Luka had been wearing a few mornings ago out of her mind. It was some simple teasing for her, but it had been a serious matter to him.
"So far, I think so too." Marinette feels her skin flush as she thinks of each of the little things along the way that add up. It's the first time she feels as though she can be reasonably confident things are working out and holy hell is it a good feeling.
"So...then why all this hesitancy to be more physically involved?" Realizing that she may be coming off as a bit pushy again, the bespectacled woman quickly amends her thoughts. "What I mean is...I just feel like you aren't holding back because you're afraid of getting hurt, but there's something else. Am I making sense?"
Marinette nods, confirming Alya's suspicions and before she can open her mouth to speak, Alya jumps back in with another question.
"I kinda noticed -when we were at the beach- there was that time when it seemed like you were trying to stop me from putting my hand on his shoulder...you know...intentionally. Are what we're talking about right now and that related?"
It hardly surprises the blue-haired woman that her friend figured out part of the story already. There wasn't anything remotely subtle about the way she'd stopped Alya from putting a hand on Luka at the beach, but it was the only choice she felt she had at the time. Knowing he had a fear of physical contact had compelled her to act without really thinking.
"They are." She can only confirm suspicions, saying anything more specific would just involve her own speculations regarding something painful and very personal for Luka.
"So he's got a thing about people touching him, then. That's got to be hard. Want to talk about it?" As an openly physically affectionate sort -especially when it comes to her romantic relationships- it's difficult for Alya to imagine how that might work. She of course realizes that not every relationship works like hers, but she also knows her best friend pretty well. From every outward appearance, Marinette appears to be the sort to want physical affection in a relationship when she forms attachment to the person emotionally, at least. So now the most important bit of information to ascertain here becomes whether or not her best friend can handle an obstacle like that.
"I don't know exactly what caused it, but he has told me his childhood wasn't very happy and that whatever happened, happened back then. Other than that, he hasn't been able to talk about it. I know from experience that it affects how he interacts with almost everyone. The only exception seems to be...me."
"Oh?" Knowing her tone came off as a bit suggestive, she waves off the thought, "Sorry...go on..." Maybe this won't end up being the huge stumbling block the reporter first thought it would be.
Despite knowing it will only encourage her friend, Marinette finds herself laughing at this humor. Now that they're alone and having an in-depth conversation, suggestive material meant to lighten the mood feels different than it had out in public.
"When it's me, holding hands or hugging or even kissing doesn't seem like much of an issue..." 'With a couple of exceptions, I guess.' Though her mind supplies this commentary, she doesn't get the chance to give voice to the thought aloud.
"He's kissed you?!" Alya cuts her off, practically bursting with excitement. When did this happen? Why is it she hasn't been informed yet? Details. She needs details. "When did this happen, girl? Deets, come on!"
Blushing deeply, Marinette manages a nod through a warm smile as she recalls that tender moment she shared with Luka on her front porch those few days ago. Even thinking of that short conversation sets her heart to racing. His gentle caresses combined with the soft touch of his lips against her cheek conveyed the feelings he held in his heart perfectly in that moment. He'd made sure to add the comment about "catching feelings" while whispering into her ear and even if he hadn't used the "L" word, it was hard to glean any other meaning given the context. A soft warmth spreads through her body simply recalling it.
"That morning you came to pick up the orders for your co-workers, when he left, he kissed me on the cheek. Even though you were teasing me about catching feels, he said 'I feel like it's me'." Another little thrill runs through her body as she describes this moment out loud to her friend for the first time. It feels nice to be able to open up about some of these things to someone -it's been one thing to experience it in real time, but it is another to describe the moments to someone who is just as excited for her to have the experiences as she is to take part in them.
"Awwwwwww!" Alya coos, leaning in and bumping against her friend's shoulder, just brimming with joy that this man is making one of her favorite people so happy. "That's adorable!"
"So anyway...to answer your question...yes, taking it slow feels like the right thing to do for both of us. I want him to have time to learn he's safe with me. Also, that kinda forces me to slow down -not rush in to things all at once just because someone is showing interest. You know what I mean?" In the few moments she's had to mull over these ideas in her head and really think things through, these were the conclusions she had come to. Passing between them when they're together seems to be a growing sense of peace. Trust is building bit by bit, fortifying into something truly sturdy as they grow closer and the days and weeks pass them by. As far as the physical goes, whatever is to organically develop between the two of them will be a bridge they will cross when they arrive at it. For now, this feels right and it is enough.
Alya is completely blown away by this small revelation. Her friend isn't simply taken with some cute dude she met at the beach and becoming attached. She's really been considering his feelings. Maybe she can't see the full scope of what others do since she is closer to the situation emotionally speaking, but it seems obvious Marinette holds genuine love in her heart for this guy. Romantic? Sure, that's obvious. But there is something simpler -more broad in terms of 'love' than could be covered by labeling it as only that. It's a little awe-inspiring, quite honestly.
"Wow..." For the first time in her life, the redhead just doesn't have the words to express what's happening in her head hearing all this.
This girl has been her best friend for a long time and she's never once spoken about a romantic partner like this.
There were all the usual things as teens. The more-or-less provably untrue "I think this is one" kind of talk from short-lived flings that never worked out. The squealing over any minor bit of attention paid to one of them by someone they were interested in. The rose-colored glasses which made even major red flags appear as minor bumps in the road along the way to happiness. There were similar moments as they left their teens behind and began to enter more serious adult relationships. Including the one which created the lasting trauma for the bluenette woman Alya just adores to pieces. For so long, it seemed like she may never want to try again -like she'd just given up after the kind of rejection and betrayal she went through.
Hearing this somehow both relieves her of some worry and riles her up at the same time.
"You know, from where I'm sitting, it sounds like you're already hopelessly in love." Though the intent behind these words may be to get confirmation, Alya isn't completely sure whether she really wants it or not. In all honesty, it may be better in the long run for the other woman's mental health to not become so swept up in strong bursts of intense emotion brought on by those sorts of flowery phrases. As she holds eye contact with the woman seated next to her on the couch, her mindset flips and she begins to root against a reaction like the one she'd been going for in the first place.
After a moment or so, Marinette simply shrugs, no words passing over her lips to confirm or deny the claim. She keeps whatever thoughts she may have to herself, moving on to other parts of the discussion as if the comment hadn't happened.
"I'm glad you told me to stop being stupid earlier. I think he was starting to worry." Biting her lip, she resents that she might have made him feel insecure.
"Did you sort things out?" Since that text while they were out, Alya hasn't seen Marinette on her phone all that much. They probably haven't really had much of a chance to talk about this yet.
"I sent him a message and explained what's been going on, but my phone died while we were shopping." In retrospect, she probably should have gone to get it and check her messages ages ago, but she got so invested in this quality time with Alya that she'd forgotten about leaving the phone to charge.
"Where's your phone now?" She just left it at that? The poor guy has probably been extra worried if the last thing she said involved admitting she's been avoiding him. Now she hasn't said anything in several hours! Anyone would start to get the impression you're ghosting them and may even think you're planning to end things.
"On the charger in the kitchen." Judging by the incredulous expression on Alya's face, it would be a good bet to say a reprimand is coming next.
"It's gotta be done by now! Go get it! Tell him the truth and then apologize for ghosting him. He's probably worried you're gonna break up with him at this point."
Alya does have a good point there.
Getting to her feet hurriedly, the bluenette heads into the kitchen and plucks the device from the counter where she'd plugged it in hours ago. Holding down the button, the screen lights up and it begins the boot up process. After another couple seconds, a whole flurry of messages start to come through, including a few social media notifications, a missed call from her parents and six text messages from Luka. She bites her lip, her guilt level spiking as she opens her messaging app and quickly skims through them.
[Luka Couffaine 2:40pm: I'm sorry to hear about
what's happening with your mom.
If there's anything I can do to help, I will.]
The very first message she reads only serves to sharpen those feelings of shame and guilt whirling within her, even if some of her lack of communication was genuinely because there hadn't been time. There may have been some legitimate reasons to not speak much, but nothing can justify her behavior now that she has read the compassionate words of his message. Ignoring such a kind person -one who habitually has prioritized her needs since they met- is a pretty scummy thing to do.
"God, I'm such an asshole!" Marinette groans, bending down and dropping her forehead against her kitchen counter with a loud thump.
This draws Alya's attention and curiosity and soon a pair of brown eyes are peering over Marinette's shoulder at the phone's screen and reading the message which had prompted the dramatics. A laugh spills out before the young news reporter can stop it.
"Yeah, you kinda are." When Marinette straightens up and glances at her friend with a taken aback expression, the woman simply shrugs. "What else did he say?"
Both eager to know what he's been thinking through all of this, they glance through the remaining messages.
[Luka Couffaine 4:07pm: It sounds like things
have been hectic for you and I feel bad if I
made that worse at all.]
There is enough to read that his name and the time stamp all but blend into the background as the contents of each one becomes the main focus of her attention. All the messages share an apologetic tone which he shouldn't be taking and she begins to feel a little choked up while going through them.
[If you're
uncomfortable, you don't have to go. Just
let me know when you can, okay?]
Though everything he'd said more or less echoes the tone of the last text he sent, this one really makes Marinette bite down on her lip. Her eyes flash with irritation as she taps the bubble to reply to the string of comments. Seeing that the other woman is now getting serious about this, Alya excuses herself to the bathroom. As her fingers furiously type out her reply, frustration at herself surging through her body, her phone goes off in her hand again. Stopping in her tracks, she glances back up at the chat history and spies the new message which just appeared.
[Luka Couffaine 6:39pm: Actually, would you
mind if I call you?]
Erasing the entire previous message, she hits three simple keys and the send button in about two and a half seconds.
Just about the same amount of time passes before her phone starts ringing.
Though she's thrilled to talk to him, a little wave of nervousness runs through her as she looks down at his name on the screen. She feels absolutely awful about everything that happened in the last several days. He's showed some incredible trust in her. The least she could do is return the favor. Drawing a deep breath, she holds it for a few seconds before exhaling and hitting the accept call button.
"H-hey..." She mumbles awkwardly into the receiver.
"Hey Marinette. Everything...okay?" The lilt in his voice as he hesitates to complete the question after greeting her tugs fiercely on the woman's heartstrings. "I'm worried I might have made you uncomfortable."
"It isn't that. I really have just been busy -I'm taking my mom's place at the bakery and so now I'm basically doing two jobs-" Her voice trails off at this point, hearing the soft sigh on the other end of the phone line.
"When you're uncomfortable, you can tell me. When you're not ready for something, you can tell me. I'm never going to force you into anything." His tone practically oozes guilt.
How backwards.
"I know! I didn't feel forced. I am still really looking forward to it." She hates this. She just hates that she can hear the guilt and self-doubt in every word he speaks. How did the script get flipped like this? If anyone taking part in this conversation should be explaining their actions, it should be her!
"Really?" He still doesn't sound even close to convinced.
"Yes!" Desperate, she spits the word out quickly in reply, voice cracking.
Suddenly, from across the room comes the sound of a pointed "Ahem!" Whirling around, she looks up to see Alya standing in the entryway to the kitchen, watching her with a stern look. One of her feet taps against the floor. Crossing her arms over her chest, she opens her mouth and firmly whispers the words she knows need to be said.
"Just tell him the truth!" They literally just got done talking about this and she'd made it clear things had to be set right. What is she doing saying all these other unnecessary things?
At length, Marinette sighs.
"Hey...are you sure you're alright?" She hears his voice from the other end of the line again, somehow sounding even more nervous than before.
"I can't stay on the phone very long right now. If you want, I can call again later to talk about stuff more, but yes, everything is okay. I got worried over something stupid. It has to do with stuff from my past relationships and wasn't anything you did. I should have just said so from the beginning, but I was afraid." As she speaks, it feels like a chamber slowly depressurizing. All the turmoil and anxiety is slowly draining away. "I'm sorry. I'll just tell you what's going on next time, okay?"
"Deal. Last question will be quick." He replies, the worry in his tone replaced with relief. "What are you up to tonight?"
"Hanging out with Alya. We went shopping-"
"Bought lots of nice things!" The peanut gallery chimes in from the other room, the suggestive tone in her voice as she says the word 'nice' eliciting a scolding glance from a now blushing Marinette.
"And now we're watching movies. But I'll happily kick her out if she doesn't shut up." The flustered woman continues in a half-joking tone, words now directed at the curly-haired woman peeking at her over the back of the couch.
At last, she hears Luka start to laugh from the other end of the phone line. His laughter is light and airy, as if he's finally dispelled most of the remaining tension he's been carrying around and the feeling it gives off is infectious. Soon, she finds herself also laughing. The few seconds of shared amusement clear away any remaining awkwardness before either of them speaks again.
"Well, I'll let you go so you can have fun. All I wanted was to check in and make sure everything was fine." The inflection of those last few words carries the heavy implication that Alya's assumption was correct. He really has been worried he might lose this relationship altogether.
"You don't have to worry. It won't be that easy to get rid of me." Though guilt prods at her from within, she finds herself smiling as she speaks this gentle reassurance into the receiver. She wants him to understand that she's committed to this relationship and wouldn't just abandon him without cause. On occasion, it would seem that her tendency to focus intently on things or people she comes to like a lot can be a half-way decent trait to possess. "I can be pretty stubborn when I like someone."
She can hear a soft gasp from the other end of the line and for about forty seconds, silence is all that follows. Then, after what feels like an eternity-long pause, finally the man on the other end of the phone line manages a reply.
"Yeah, me too. And I guess I'm more stubborn than ever when you're involved."
This time, it's her turn to feel enough surprise that the comment draws a gasp from her lips. In short order, her face is red as a cherry tomato and she's grinning like a school girl with a crush. It doesn't take a genius to read between the lines of that statement.
"W-well I...I uh...I'll t-talk to you l-later, then?" She stammers, face only burning all the more with the embarrassment of stumbling through such a sweet moment.
"Yeah, later."
The call is disconnected and she finds herself sighing, leaning back against the counter, unable to contain the sheer joy for even another moment.
Alya grins before shifting back down into a sitting position on the couch, facing the TV and continuing to watch whatever movie had been starting before their girl talk began. 'Good for you guys.' She thinks to herself, silently cheering the two of them on.
After a few minutes, Marinette once again joins her company in the living room, still very much lost within the fog of cloud nine.
"Shit, girl. He basically just said 'I love you.' You realize that, right?" There's no way she can't feel excited for her friend when she's just been told something like that. She has to admit she was dubious at first and ready to write this whole thing off as a summer fling but after all that she's seen and heard, it's hard not to hop on board the "this is probably the real deal" bandwagon.
Marinette offers no answer to this question, more or less considering it an open and shut case. Of course she picked up on the meaning he'd packed into those few words. Her heart hasn't stopped beating out of control since. She's been told "I love you" in many ways, but somehow this hits differently. He didn't dress it up with poetry. There was no showmanship. But it was somehow still one of the most heartfelt ways to convey the message she's encountered.
A good deal of this wouldn't have been possible without a best friend to be the voice of reason. Alya sure saved them both a lot of trouble this time around.
"Talking about all this helped. Thanks. I really mean it." A soft sigh passes over her lips as Marinette loops an arm around Alya's shoulder and gives her a tight squeeze. Her anxiety is back at a manageable level after airing her concerns and talking through some of her reservations with Luka during that brief phone call. Hopefully this has quelled Luka's worry in a similar way.
"That's what friends do, girl." Picking up the remote, she raises the TV volume. With the crisis resolved, it's time to get back to what this day is about at the core. Time to have some fun.