Trigger Warning: child abuse, homophobia, homophobic harassment

Killua Zoldyck had always been a particularly artsy young boy, that much his parents knew well. They had been quite displeased with his singing, and drawing, and painting, and all that menial garbage. Why couldn't he be more like his older brothers? He was the crown prince for goodness sake! His actions were unbefitting of a boy his age.

Luckily, at five years old, Illumi had managed to drive the artistic nature out of the young Valkyrie, successfully turning him into the cold and impassive creature that Silva and Kikyo had desired. Three years passed, and at eight years old Killua was the perfect assassin. He was a cold winter's wind, the wispy cough of a dying leper, a hand of death itself.

Unfortunately for the King and Queen, their son was still not the image of Dragonite perfection that they had been grooming him to be. He was still far too lighthearted. Even though he had gotten so much colder and darker, that fact was apparent. He also held no respect whatsoever for his mother and brothers, and what little he did hold for Silva he took with a bitter taste in his mouth. He was also far too friendly with that disgrace Alluka.

The crowning jewel, however, came to being when he was eight years and five months.

As was tradition, the crown prince was accompanied everywhere by a copious staff of royal butlers. They were trained mercenaries, and deadly Dragonite warriors. Their task was to keep Killua safe, and make sure that he didn't get into any trouble. Trouble meaning activities unbefitting of his stature as much as it did running away or something of the like. He was perfectly capable of defending himself, it was just his stubborn and rebellious streak that led Silva not to trust him an inch. Especially not left to his own devices. He just wasn't ready yet.

Being accompanied by these staff day in and day out, Killua made sure to learn each and every one of their names. He was pleased to find that some of them were a little more lenient than others, and through his solid relationship with the head butler Gotoh he was able to manipulate the schedule so that they guarded him most often.

The silver haired boy found himself particularly enamored with one butler in particular. His name was Skylar, and he was the picture of fascination for the young boy. He was kind, happy, and always ready for a fight. He was light hearted, yet had this certain intensity about him that gained Killua's utmost respect. His skin was a deep tan, and his ruffled black hair reflected the sunlight like the ocean did the moon. His emerald eyes sparkled with mischief and intelligence, and his wings were grand and impressive.

Skylar was Killua's favorite, and he made sure to make friends with the older male. Skylar was nineteen years old, but always treated Killua as if they were equals in lifespan and experience. Skylar was beautiful and amazing, and the crown prince's heart was drawn towards the butler. He would follow him around whenever he was on break, he would sit and watch him whenever he got the chance. His chest warmed at the sight of his favorite Valkyrie, and Killua felt the drive to create for the first time in three years.

This did not go unnoticed by Illumi.

Nothing went unnoticed by Illumi.

The raven haired prince conducted an experiment to be certain of his suspicions before he brought them before the Chieftain and his wife. Skylar happened to have a younger sister. At seventeen years of age, Samantha was the picture of beauty. The family resemblance was strong, and she may as well have been a female version of Skylar.

Illumi assigned Samantha to guard Killua, and over the course of a week's time he observed his little brother's reaction.

He developed no such fascination for Samantha, and it became even more clear what these feelings towards Skylar were. In fact, Illumi noticed that the silver haired boy possessed no interest in women at all. It was only males that caught his eye.

With his fears confirmed, Illumi brought the issue before Silva and Kikyo.

The crown prince was homosexual.

He may have been young, but it was clear as day.

Silva and Kikyo were disgusted, and did not stand for this. It was unacceptable that any Zoldyck possessed such freakish tendencies. Alluka was bad enough, and now this?! Killua was called to his parent's throne room one stormy morning. In that room, Killua was asked whether he liked Skylar or Samantha better. It was a last ditch effort to dispel the repulsive preferences out of their son.

Killua selected Skylar, unaware that anything was the matter.

Silva beheaded and gutted Skylar right before Killua's eyes.

With the blood of his first infatuation adorning his face like a domino mask, Killua was given the lecture of a lifetime. At eight years old, Silva screamed at his son that no man should ever love another man. He beat Killua and slung him about, demanding to know why he was so fucked in the head. For the first time in three years, Killua screamed and cried out in pain throughout the beating, lost and confused as a blind baby deer separated from its mother.

What had he done wrong?

He had been doing everything he was supposed to do!

Skylar had made him feel so nice inside, why was he being treated this way?

Bloodied and bruised within an inch of his life, Killua was strewn at the feet of Illumi, who had been developing a new ability. Using this ability, Illumi placed conditioning directly into his younger brother's mind. In the form of an unbreakable wall, all of his brother's feelings of romance and attraction towards his same sex were locked away.

The pain was unimaginable, Killua's own mind was ripped away from him.

He was only eight years old, not even aware of what his father and brother were yelling at him about. And yet, here he was. On the verge of death with a searing pain in his mind. All he wanted to know was what he had done wrong, and what had happened to bring him this pain in the first place. Yet, every time he tried to recall where the domino mask of blood on his face had come from, a wave of shocking pain would turn him inside out.

With the incredible success of this ability, Silva and Kikyo had a new way of molding their son into the perfect heir to the Dragonite Valkyrie throne. With Illumi's mental conditioning, it didn't matter what unsatisfactory traits popped up in their son's personality, they could just destroy it right at the foundation.

This began a new era of torture in Killua's life, and with his true self being shamed and locked away more and more each month, it was only a matter of time before the silver haired prince would be nothing more than an emotionless and personalityless husk.

Luckily, Alluka was always there for him.

Without her, Killua would have been lost years ago.

AN: flashback chapter returns for season 2