How to Adopt a Zombie Step Two: Make sure its Needs are Met

Zombies have different needs compared to normal humans, but not every zombie needs the same thing. You must find out what are the particular needs of the zombie you wish to adopt are and whether or not you can provide properly for them.

"So you said you've never eaten anybody's brains…" Dipper began as he and Mabel gathered supplies to make themselves some sandwiches for lunch. "But do you still need to eat? Or is that something you don't have to deal with anymore?"

"I don't need to eat at all," Mike said, leaning against the doorway as he watched the twins scurry about. "Don't know if it's because I'm more of a ghost than a zombie or something else. Personally, I could never really understand why zombies need to eat at all… aren't they dead?"

"My personal theory is that it's more about spreading the zombified condition than an actual need for nourishment," Dipper replied as he and Mabel settled down at the kitchen table. "I also suspect that zombies are magical in nature rather than scientific. I mean, I did say a spell to summon the hoard last time, but they've always given me a curse vibe…"

"Can we please not talk about zombies while we're trying to eat?" Mabel sighed, making Dipper flush slightly in embracement and Mike chuckle a little bit.

"How about I leave you two to…" Mike began only to be cut off by Mabel.

"I didn't mean you had to leave," Mabel said quickly worried that she had accidentally hurt Mike's feelings. "I wasn't trying to be mean! I swear!"

"Mabel it's fine," Mike assured, calming the young girl down. "You didn't say anything wrong, I was just offering to leave so you two could eat without worrying about holding a conversation with me at the same time."

"But I like talking with you," Mabel replied. "I just want to change the topic. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? When you could ice cream that is…"

"Can you still eat?" Dipper wondered between bites. "I know said you don't need to eat, but could you still eat something if you wanted to?"

"I can't eat period," Mike answered easily, he lacked the necessary organs after all. "The most I can do is chew gum, which turned into a pretty bad habit when I first became like this as I was missing being able to eat. As for ice cream… If I was going for a scoop or two I'd usually go for rocky road. But my favorite thing was to actually have vanilla covered in chocolate syrup and sprinkles, possibly some other candies, and things are thrown on top if I was really in the mood for the biggest sugar rush ever."

It had also been something his siblings had loved to do with him. All of them piled all their favorite sweets on top of their individual bowels, watching some show or movie while they ate and then usually running around like crazy with whatever games they could come up with to burn off their energy until they inevitably crashed and passed out in so random room. (Those good moments became less frequent after their mother died and very rare after Elizabeth "disappeared". Mike had lost so much over the years that it was getting harder and harder to cling to those bright memories. So much was already getting lost to time and Mike feared the day he would no longer be able to recall what his siblings looked like.)

"Ooohhh! I do the same thing, especially with adding edible glitter to my ice cream," Mabel agreed, her speech slightly incoherent as she talked with a mouth full of food. "Since gum's the only thing you can have now, what's your favorite gum flavor?"

"I've never really tried any other flavors other than mint…" Mike confessed. "It had been what I was familiar with and at the time I needed the comfort of something familiar."

And Mike was also terrified that he couldn't actually taste anything and he still isn't sure whether he could or not. He could just be remembering what gum was supposed to taste like and convinced himself that he was tasting it. He had never worked up the courage at the time to get a definitive answer and as he got more comfortable with the nightmare that was his existence, he just never bothered to find out.

"That's something we could test," Dipper said, looking like he was already thinking up plans.

"I know all the best flavors and will be happy to pick some out for you," Mabel added with a grin. "We could also throw in a bubble-blowing contest for fun!"

Mike wasn't sure if he could actually blow a bubble, as he lacked lungs, but he wasn't going to ruin Mabel's fun. (Mike didn't even breathe and he only did so now and then out of habit. Honestly, he wasn't even sure how he could talk but he always shoved questions like that to the side. He had had way too many existential crises over the years, especially those first few months after his undeath that he tried to avoid thinking about his existence too deeply. How he still existed didn't matter so much as using the opportunity to take his father down.)

A few hours later, Mabel was having Mike try all the different gum flavors she could get her hands on while Dipper took notes. Mike was pleasantly surprised to find that he could taste the different flavors and especially enjoyed the fruity ones. He could not blow bubbles the gum though and Mabel was easier declared the winner.

As Mike watched Mabel gloat about her victory over Dipper, Mike stored the moment away in his mind. It had been so long since he had a truly pleasant new memory and Mike was determined to hold onto it, positive it would help him keep going whenever he inevitably left to return to his mission.

But that was a worry for later, for now, Mike was content to listen to Mable and Dipper laugh and tease each other.