14

4:53 a.m.

Bella

I should be passed the fuck out, but instead, I'm sitting on my sofa, staring at the wall and trying to figure out what the fuck happened tonight.

It wasn't supposed to go down like this. I was just supposed to call the police, get a ride, and have a story to irritate my dad with.

I never wanted to date a cop. Growing up, I saw how my dad's career destroyed every relationship he was ever in. First with Leah's mom, then with mine. It drove people around him away, and the further he climbed, the lonelier he was. I didn't want anything to do with that.

And here I am, obsessively thinking about an ambitious cop and wondering if I'll ever hear from him again.

It's fucking stupid.

Edward was exactly like every cop I'd ever known, and also completely different. He was strong, authoritative, ambitious, and just a touch cocky, but then he'd held my hair while I puked and bought me coffee and pancakes, and my god he's a terrible singer but when he sang Queen with me, I couldn't care less.

Why did I tell him about dad?

Maybe it's that self-sabotaging streak in me I get from my father. Maybe some part of me saw how good it could be and decided it wasn't worth it.

That I'm not worth it.

Despite my dad's profession, I don't often interact with cops. I usually go out of my way to avoid them because too many people—friends and love interests alike—have tried to use me as a springboard right to the top.

Based on Edward's near panic attack in the car earlier, I can't imagine he's interested in that—at least, not yet—but clearly, there are other issues for him.

He's got a right to be worried too. My dad can be a serious dick. I do things to piss him off just because I can, but my dating Edward could tank his career. I'm not as wild as I once was, but even now, if Dad learns that he can rein me in by threatening the guy I'm dating, he'll do it. Dad will use every weapon in his arsenal to try to control me.

Maybe it's selfish of me to try anything with Edward at all. He's just starting out, and I can tell even after three hours that he's one of those cops whose heart is in it.

He wants to do and be good.

I should walk away, even if he does reach out to me. I should walk away and let him live his life with the career he's picked out.

All I can offer him at this point is trouble.

With this resolve in my heart, I shower off and brush my teeth at least three times. I change into an old college shirt of my mom's before going to the kitchen and downing three glasses of water. I feel so much better than I deserve to after the night of drinking I've had. I'm about to finally head to bed, when a sound outside my window makes me pause. I make my way over, tugging back the curtains, then roll my eyes when I see a neighbor down the street taking his trash cans out. It's not even six in the morning, but he's up and at it.

Sighing, I grab another full glass of water and head to my bedroom.

I'm just plugging my phone in, when I hear someone scrabbling at my front door. Frowning, I look up from my phone. "Alice?" I call. She hates sleeping over with one-night stands, but this is a weird hour for her to come, even for her.

I hear the floorboards creak in front of the door and I roll my eyes. "Goddammit Alice, did you lose your keys again?"

I unlock the door, yank it open, and the breath rushes out of my body.

"Hey, Bella."