SELF JUSTIFICATION-3

Hello everyone. Thank you very much for all the reviews. Writing this story is such fun for me and escape from reality. It gives me great joy to write it and I hope that it gives you a great joy to read it...Here is the main part of the story. Elsie will be on fire today and Charles will really get what he deserved, plus a realization of something, that will change his life.

Elsie could hardly believe in what she has just went through. Not only she got caught by Charles, when she was feeding Ethel, which was embarrassing itself, but she was practically forced by him, to confess the truth to Her Ladyship at once. He went there with her, making sure, that she will tell what she has done and she felt like a fool, explaining to Her Ladyship, that she was indeed helping Ethel for some time.

Luckily for Elsie, Her Ladyship was kind and understanding, and she, just as Elsie, was seeing this matter from the woman's point of view. She could easily imagine, what it meant to be all alone in this world, with a baby to feed, without a job and money. Elsie was touched, that Her Ladyship understood this situation so well and that she didn't even scold her that much for her actions.

But Charles Carson was another story. That man! Not only he got her in this embarassing situation, but what was even worse, he was standing right next to her, saying some cliches like "a man will always be a man, but to let a young woman let her judgement be so deserted". Elsie was standing there, hearing what he had to say and the anger which he woke in her, was getting stronger with each minute. She couldn't of course errupt with anger in the presence of Her Ladyship, it would not be seen well, but she was very close of shouting out loud, what she knew about Charles and his dirty London escapades.

She managed to wait till the end of the conversation and when they left the room and headed towards downstairs, she no longer had to stop her anger and her whole body felt like she was on fire.

Charles was looking at her with curiosity. He suspected, that he might have annoyed her a bit, they knew each other so well and he was used to seeing that spark of anger in her, whenever he was saying something that has not met her approval, but he has never seen her in that state before.

Her eyes were full of rage, her lips were clenched and she paced very quickly, leaving him far behind.

His mind was working with a full speed, he was wondering, if he should leave her alone for a while now, to let her cool off, or if he should go after her and clarify this situation at once.

He saw as she ran downstairs, towards her sitting room and she slammed the door loudly behind her, leaving him no ilusions, about how she was feeling at the moment.

In spite of that, Charles decided to talk to her at once, to investigate, why was she that furious at him. He started to feel angry too. It was true, that he forced her to confess what she did to Her Ladyship, but it was no reason to behave that way. She needed to be scold by him and reminded, that he was the head of the downstairs team.

He entered her room without knocking, not waiting for her invitation and closed the door behind him. She turned around, she was standing by the window and he felt a little scared, seeing that the expression of fury has not let her face. He was determined to talk to her at any cause.

"Mrs Hughes, I have to admit, that I do not understand, or do not appreciate that kind of behavior from you! How can you run off like that and act in such aggressive way?"

"Can you really blame me Mr Carson? After what you did to me today?"

"I did what I thought was right and I see no reason for..."

"I don't care what you thought was right! I was embarrassed in front of Her Ladyship, by you! You and your moral values! I really wish that you would use them in your life!"

"What do you mean by that?"

"How could you do that? We all know what Ethel is like, but she needed help. She has a small child for heavens sake! She had no food to feed the baby!"

"Maybe she could thought about that before she decided to have a baby in the first place!"

"There are always two people to be blamed for that Mr Carson!"

"Yes, but the man will always be a..."

"Would you stop with that nonsense already! I have enough of that! It comes very easy to justify yourself, by saying that you are only a man...Very convenient Mr Carson! I bet that it helps you a lot, when you are doing what you are doing! And just let me remind you, that few years ago you were feeding your old friend and Anna caught you doing that and she hasn't said a word about that to anyone and I would behave the same way, if it was me that caught you that day."

"I remember, but that was entirely different situation back then!"

"How was it different? You were feeding a man who was perfectly capable of working and providing a food to his table by himself. I was helping a girl who has no choice. She could let her baby starve, or get help from someone! Don't you have any compassion for others? Never? You talk so much about morality and values, but it's just empty slogans!"

"Hold your tongue Mrs Hughes, hold your tongue! This is enough1 You can't talk to me like this!"

"I can talk to you however I like. You are not my boss. We are equals in this house and you seem to forget that! It's easy to point out someone else's mistakes, but not see your own, which are exactly the same!"

"What is that you are trying to tell me Mrs Hughes? Because you keep hinting about my morality and I have no idea what you are referring to and I would really like to know that!"

"You don't know, do you? Innocent you! You thought, that if you will go to the unknown area of London, where nobody knows you, it will prevent you from revealing your secret to the world? Surprise, surprise Mr Carson! I know all about it. I know what you are doing during the London season, I know what hideous places you are visiting and how you are meeting with fallen women there! I may not be a woman of the world Mr Carson, but I certainly can understand, that you are not visiting those places to read Shakespeare or play carboard games there!"

Elsie has really hit the rigt spot. She has never seen Charles so panicked, as he was now. His face was getting red and white in turns and for the first time in his life, he truly had no idea what to say and how to behave. His worst nightmare has just become true. His shenanigans were known and what was even worse, she knew about it...

"How do you, how do you know about...When, where? Did you tell someone else?"

"No, I haven't. You see that's the difference between you and me. I'm not the kind of person that you are. I didn't tell anyone and I'm not going to tell you who told me that. It doesn't matter now and I don't want you to take it on innocent people, blaming them for your sins..."

Charles cleared his throat, to hide his embarressment. Now, when the worst thing happened, he was desperately trying to regain his dignity, even if that was especially difficult in that moment.

"Mrs Hughes, I'm not going to insult your intelligence, by telling you that these are lies, because it's the truth. I do not wish to discuss it anymore, with you or anybody else. This is my own personal matter and nobody elses."

"I agree with you, but I would be very grateful, if you could stop yourself from making moral speeches in my presence, because frankly, it sounds ridiculous, coming from your mouth!"

Charles was really angry now. This whole situation has devastated him, not only he was ridiculed in the eyes of the woman that he loved, but he was now insulted by her.

"That's enough Mrs Hughes! You have no right to address me this way! Even if I'm doing what I'm doing, this is my personal matter and it does not concern you in any way! You are not entitled to talk to me about such intimate matters, you are not my wife and I don't feel a need of explaining myself to you."

Now Elsie was furious. That man! She has spent years loving him, taking care of him, showing him with every gesture, how much he meant to her and he is talking to her that way? Like she meant nothing to him? How dare he? Suddenly she felt very old and she felt like she has ruined the last twenty years of her life, waiting for a love of the man, who didn't have feelings for her.

At that moment, she didn't really care about anything. She decided to risk everything and tell him how she really felt. If she will have to go away from that house, so be it. After what happened today, there was no point for her to stay there anyway...As furious as she was, she wasn't able to stop the tears that gathered in her eyes. She has never felt that humiliated in her entire life..

"Is that so Mr Carson? I have no right? You don't have to remind me that I'm not your wife, because I'm very much aware of my marital status and my life situation. If you could stop thinking about yourself and focusing only at what you are feeling and stopped teaching others about moral values, maybe you could see what is going on in your life, for a longer while and maybe you would be able to appreciate what you had, instead of looking for a very questionable substitute. And I will just tell you one more thing- if you would be less oblivious to people's feelings, you would be able to understand why I'm reacting that way, finding out about your London adventures. Have a nice day Mr Carson and a nice rest of your life. I'm going upstairs to pack and I will leave at once, so you wouldn't be disturbed anymore by me. Goodbye."

Elsie left, slamming the doors again and Charles was in a state of such great shock, that he collapsed on the chair, forgetting that he wasn't even in his own room. He felt like his life ended at that moment. Like the whole world has stopped. At the beginning, his mind was so chaotic, that he wasn't able to understand what Elsie has said to him, but after a while, he put all the pieces together and finally realized, what he has heard from her few moments ago.

At the beginning, he was in denial, he didn't believe, that she was actually saying what she was saying, but then, suddenly, it hit him with a powerful force, when he understood, that she has just confessed her love to him. Suddenly, all her feelings-the rage, the sadness, the huge disappointment, made sense and he already knew, how much he hurt her and what it meant for her, to find out about his awful misdeeds.

When he understood, he knew, that it was not a time for overthinking, it was time to act. He had to stop Elsie and let her know, that she meant everything to him, before he will loose her forever and his life will no longer have any meaning...

He got out of his room and went upstairs, to her bedroom, breaking all the rules that he normally abided so dilligently, because he knew, that he already broke some rules in his life and because of trivial reasons, but now, he was fighting about his future and there were no rules, that could stop him from winning Elsie's heart. Without her, his life was worthless and he had some serious amends to do, if he didn't want to say goodbye to her forever.

Oh dear. I made a mess with this chapter ;-) Sorry. I love Elsie, the Scottish dragon and she was fully entitled to feel that way, in this case. Charles really got what he deserved. I told you in the beginning, that it is going to be a three chapter story, but I need one more chapter for closing, so bear with me if you can ;-). I'm curious to know what you think. Have a great week!