A/N: Sorry for the wait.

Chapter 5: Sid.

Everyone's favorite weasel sits in his gaming chair.

"Hey S'up everyone? I'm back and instead of Fortnite, I'm playing Skyrim but first I need a drink." Said Sid as he loaded his file, played as a Khajit then drank some Four Loko.

"Uh Sid I don't think you're supposed to consume alcohol on Twitch." Commented Arnold.

"Don't worry Arnold, I know my limits." Said Sid, as he drinks more and does some side quests but the alcohol messes with his gameplay.

"I'ma kill this chicken." Giggled Sid as he slashed at it with a sword, but his character gets killed by the owner.

"Goddamn farmer! Okay load previous save and now Im'a go and pickpocket this Giant,(is sent flying) Fucking bugged game mechanics doooode." Slurred Sid.

He tries to open a master lock but breaks his last lockpick, causing him to reload and try again each time only to fail. He has to abandon the chest, gather more picks and finally unlocks the chest but is over burdened.

"Crap, K' I gotta get rid of junk." Sid dumps several items to carry the Magika clothes.

Sid sees a mammoth.

"Okay gotta get a Mammoth tusk to Marry that furry Ysolda." Sid shoots an arrow at it but also alerts the same giant from earlier and it kills him.

"Stupid pretentious Khajit fucker, she can go suck a troll off."

He tries to sneak past someone under water but runs out of water breathing potions so he surfaces and gets caught.

"So a Lusty Argonian Maid can breathe water but I can't?! Bullshit!"

Finds out he married a Hagraven.

"Where in Todd Howard's green digital brain did this sound like a good idea?! I'd rather stick my dick in a bear trap." He Slurred, then divorced Hagraven by killing it with his Mace of Molag Mol.

Curses like "shit, asshole and especially whoever designed this lock is a fucking cocksucker were used quite often.

The more swigs he took, the more aggravated Sid got.

"I have to go around this fatass mountain?! Why the fuck can't I go over it?!" Bitched Sid with a few hiccups.

He sees a Tavern Girl.

"Sup Babe, If I give you some Septims will you flash your boobs?" He snickers.

She doesn't.

"Well fuck you too." He cursed.

He tries to fight a dragon but fails.

"Wha? I died?! I'm Dragonborne! I'm supposed to kill the Dragon! This game is retarded." Slurred Sid.

He does a Thieves Guild quest but messes up.

"Why did I lose my pay over some burnt beehive? You fucktards suck!" He gives his monitor the finger.

Sid respawns at a different spot and notices a Stormcloak camp.

"Love Ulfric'z haate."as he jumped in and did a Dragonborn shout that killed a few Stormcloaks but staggered the Stormcloak commander. He fights but since the commander was marked essential he couldn't be killed so Sid was defeated.

"That douchebag hacked a damn game genie."

He goes to an Imperial Camp.

Sid berates them along with the Captain "Hey morons, why didn't you back me up at the damn Stormcloak camp?! I'm talking to you!"

Not learning his lesson at The Stormcloak Camp, Sid hits The Imperial Captain who is also marked essential and can't die.

The Captain and his troops gang up and decapitate Sid.

"Why are both sides assholes?!" He crushes a can, opens another and chugs it.

Fed up, Sid fast travels to Whiterun.

"Ah Dragonborne, any news of the Grey Beards?" Asked Jarl Balgruuf the Greater.

"Throw the cheese." Laughed Sid as he took out a cheese wheel and threw it at the Whiterun Yarl. The Yarl reacted by having his Housecarl Irileth kill Sid.

"Gray-Skinned cunt." Said Sid.

Shitfaced Sid looks at the chat.

"Yeah I'm aware I'm dying but not as much as that cock warmer Eugene and yes I'm cussing but I'm obviously not gonna say the N-word like that hick Stinky. (He sees a Red Guard, and does a Richard Attenborough impression) Here we see the wild Red Guard, a single Red Guard who while uneducated and illiterate, can blow an entire Imperial welfare check in a single KFC sitting, assuming his single mother doesn't spend it on watermelon first." Snickered Sid.

"Wow Sid, you really are a racist asshole, fuck you!" Typed Gerald.

"Kiss my half-Black ass!" Added Nadine.

"Even if you didn't use the N-word, what you said was still uncalled for." Added Phoebe.

"Racism aside, I don't think that's some ordinary Red Guard." Big Patty pointed out.

"Damn, didn't know the chat was full of overly sensitive babies who can't take a fucking joke, I'll defeat this Red Guard thug and steal his shit." Said Sid.

The Red Guard in question was actually a high level mage who lit his ass up like a BBQ. And since Sid forgot to save, he lost a good half hour of progress.

"God Fucking damn douche bag motherfucking mage fuck you!" Roared a drunken Sid.

Arnold had to step in.

"Here's $1.99, are you okay Sid? What Would Ruth think?" Typed Arnold.

"Thanksss for da donation Arnold…...what do I thinks of Ruth? Oh man, she bringsss my cock to life." Snickered a drunk Sid, misinterpreting Arnold's question.

"But Sid she's dating a jock now." Said Phoebe, as Ruth dumped Sid after their McDonald's dinner date.

At this point, Sid had lost his shit.

"Fuck that jock, fuck reality and fuck you for bringing that up Phoebe! Ruth was my one joy in life yet she left me for that football player! Look!"

(strips to his Fallout 76 underwear no homo)

"I won't go nude like that slut Rhonda but ever since Ruth broke my heart, my erections are broken like that shitty ass game Fallout 76! At least she's happy, well fuck you Ruth! I hope your bf cheats on you with an all black biker gang! Sniff, I gave you my world yet you shat all over it! WHY DID YOU CURB-STOMP MY HEART RUTH?! WHHHHY?!" Sid starts bawling his eyes out.

His Mom walks in but rather than berating him, consoles him.

"Shh Shh There There Baby you still have Mommy, time for milkies." She Said while pulling up a cloth to cover the boob as her son suckles on it.

"Okay, I may be a Momma's boy, but not that big of a Momma's boy." Typed Harold using a bot account in the chat with his good hand.

Despite having calmed down, Sid's Account is still banned for getting drunk on stream.

He sticks to Yahoo Soda: Just Drink It.

A/N: Please Drink Responsibly. Oh and don't play Fallout 76, that game is still a broken mess.