Chapter 6 - Trouble in paradise
Amethyst - Sapphire - Nazel - Georges
Annie woke up panicking. Again.
Now she could put names behind the tributes from one and two. Great.
Her first day of training didn't go well but it wasn't bad either. It was just fine, as fine it could get to train to stay alive in an arena. Annie had followed Finnick's plan step by step. She hadn't gotten close to anybody even to Wasper who looked sad in a corner
of the room.
A knock on the door announced it was time for breakfast. Smelling and looking like a grapefruit in her sanguine dress she went to the living room.
Only Finnick and Magali were there. Annie couldn't hide her disappointment when she sat. Finnick had promised he would help her after training and didn't even dare to show up at dinner.
Mags had said he was gone for an appointment but Annie wasn't stupid. Everyone in Panem knew he collected lovers during his times in the Capitol. The hickey she spotted on her neck confirmed her suspicion and was soon covered with his hand awkwardly when he spoke.
« Good morning Annie, hummm, I'm sorry I wasn't there yesterday, I had humm some things to do…, but this is why I'm here early this morning. Let's chat a bit about your first day of training shall we ? »
Annie's disappointment and anger were gone as quickly as the sudden movement of the waves crashing on rocks back home. Finnick looked extremely tired with his eyes miming the colour of her dress and puffy. When speaking he seemed lost in another world. The fact that he was drinking alcohol at eight o' clock sure didn't help either.
Annie wondered why he seemed so broken when clearly the night before he had sex. Didn't he enjoy being with his lovers ? Maybe it was something else… And why was he drinking in the morning ? An aura of mystery and pieces of puzzle she couldn't put together surrounded this golden boy, star of Panem.
« Annie … are you still sleeping ? » Finnick giggled as Annie didn't answer.
He was moving his hands in front of her face to try and get her attention. This time it was Annie who had gone in another world.
« Oups sorry I guess I actually never woke up this morning and was sleepwalking
this all time » Annie teased back.
Finnick laughed in response. His laugh was contagious and by the time Wasper and Mags entered the room they were both dying from laughter.
Magali looked offended as she wasn't in the spotlight.
A smile between sweetness and irony appeared on Mags face.
« Having fun on the morning ? What's so funny guys ? »
They both looked at each other and realised they didn't even know why they were laughing now. More than the joke, the lack of sleep and desperation were a good reason.
« So, Annie, Wasper ? Don't you love it here ? Are you enjoying you stay ? » asked Magali trying to get attention to her.
The two tributes didn't know how to answer to this. She was asking as if they were here for the holidays and were going back home alive. Sometimes Annie wondered if Capitol people understood how real the Games were.
« Well I guess it's fun around here the food is good. Also the shower is not that bad too, it's super fancy with different water jet and soaps. I'm just sad they don't have a shampoo or soap smelling like fish it would be more accurate for us » joked Annie
Finnick burst into laugher again, along with Mags this time, even Wasper cracked a little smile. Magali didn't seem to be on the same page as them and rolled her eyes and turned to Wasper hopeful, for a less cynical answer. A sadder answer what was she got.
« I HATE IT HERE » he sobbed and went crying into his room, soon followed by Mags.
It was the three of them again. But no one was laughing anymore. Magali rolled her eyes all over again.
« Change in your training outfit it's in half an hour »
And she left swearing very loudly on how annoying and ridiculous district's 4 tributes were this year. And went on and on about the fact that she deserved a raise and should be promoted to district 1 or 2.
A silent fall on Annie and Finnick. Annie fought against the urge to go see Wasper. But she couldn't do that, it was dangerous.
Finally Annie told all about her first day of training to Finnick.
« So it was fine. I followed your advice, I didn't try to make any friends. I just did my things on my own. I learn to make fire, some survival skills, and I spend some time learning how to build a trap. Since I've been making knots my all life it wasn't that hard.
I also tried different weapons and I realised most of them were heavy, since I'm a small girl. But it wasn't that bad with a knife I guess… since it was the only weapon I was able to carry »
Finnick laughed at her last comment.
« Okay, well miss Cresta I see that you seem to handle the situation I was excepting worst for a first day of training. Stick to a knife, okay ? I think today and tomorrow you should concentrate to carry and then actually throw the knife. I also think since you know how to make traps it could be efficient for you in the arena. Good job. By the way you know well to make knots ? How so? »
« Yeah my mum used to have a shop in Snaky shell with jewels and some other stuff.
So I basically grew up making knots. »
« Used to ? »
« She died a year and a half ago… »
« Oh I'm sorry Annie. It must have been so hard. I know what is like to not have a mum, mine died giving me birth » he responded empathically and sadly.
And they ended up chatting like very good friends about their mom for a bit. About how the emptiness of a mum was hard in life. But soon because they both seemed on the verge of crying, they continued talking about knots, and Annie taught him what she knew with a piece of rope he had in his pocket
« Who has a piece of rope just like that in the pocket ? » she mocked gently
« Only very wise people, because a rope save you in life, when no-one can, even yourself. »
Annie didn't understand a word he just said.
Then since they were knots he didn't know his pride was affected and Annie guffawed proudly. Annie remembered how carefree and herself she had felt with Finnick on the beach and felt the same.
On her way to training she realised that Finnick was definitely the most mysterious person she had ever met. Catching his personality was like trying to catch the salt in the sea with a glass. It was impossible.
Annie was glad to be one of the first one to arrive and realised that Wasper wasn't even here. She hoped he was okay but she had to focus.
She went to the knife station and tried to throw it on the dummy. She missed it so many times either because she wasn't good at this or because sometimes she imagined a real human being and wanted to throw up at the idea.
She hadn't realised the room had filled up when a hand gripped her shoulder.
« Not like that, you need to relax more and use your hand, instead of your wrist this is why it doesn't work »
Annie jumped in surprise when she saw the boy from ten, quite cute actually.
Red hair, charming smile, brown eyes, probably seventeen or sixteen.
« Hi, hum, » she blushed
He put his hands around her waist.
« Let me show you »
He took her hand and stoped her wrist from moving. He helped get her hand through the front and for the first time it actually touched the dummy.
« Thanks it's actually the first time it touches the dummy »
« You're welcome I'm Noah by the way and you ? »
« Annie »
« Well Annie can I say you're beautiful ? »
She blushed again and for a second she was spacing like an eighteen girl who just met a cute guy. But it wasn't normal life anymore and she was here to go to the Hunger Games not to flirt.
She thanked him for the comment and his help and distanced herself from him. But she couldn't ignore his eyes following her the rest of morning.
Until lunch Annie could actually brushed the dummy four times, which compare to nothing the day before was better.
She sat at the table for lunch hoping that Noah wouldn't come, but instead Wasper sat in front of her. Annie gave him a reserved smile. He didn't look well this morning and was very pale. They ate in silence for a while.
« Why are you avoiding me ? »
Annie was bewildered by his question. She had hoped he hadn't noticed that she was avoiding him all the time and had ignored him the day before at training.
In lack of response he just continued.
« Don't you wanna make an alliance ? I think it could be great for the both of us. I'm quite small so are you and we could hide easily together ? I'm not too bad with trap and saw that you are too. What do you think Annie ? I'm scared to be honest. I just don't want to be alone you know… » he whined
Meeting his honey eyes, his smile so gentle, Annie saw a bit of Pearl. Her little Pearl who had meant so much to her and had gone too soon. What if Wasper died in the blood bath immediately ? But what if Annie made an alliance with him and saved him from something like that ? Obviously she was forgetting that soon or later they would have to end the alliance or that soon or later one of them would die. But right now she didn't care, she didn't want to be alone either, she wanted to protect him from the violence of the Games. Happy that Finnick couldn't hear her she finally responded.
« Do you want to learn how to use a knife with me ? »
And so they did and failed many times. Sapphire and Amethyst mocked them but she didn't care.
After training she was feeling relieved to have an ally and was feeling like she had a bit of family with her. It reminded her of her time with Octave.
Wasper was a very moving boy and had been through a difficult childhood. He was the eldest of seven sisters and they all shared a little house near the sea where the end of months were always ruff. As expected everyone was fishermen and fisherwomen and they sold more than they ate fishes. At the end of the day Annie understood why Finnick didn't want her to get close to Wasper but she didn't care because she needed him right now. He needed her too.
At diner Finnick, was again missing. Annie was again a bit deceived. He was her mentor and was never there. She didn't want to admit it to herself yet but this morning she had fun around him and had hoped to spend time with him at diner. Anyhow there were nothing much she could do. Beside what would he said to her, now that she was going to ally with Wasper?
So after diner Wasper and her sat in her room and talked a bit. Annie was feeling so good to finally share things with someone and little by little the loneliness of the few days before were fading. Talking about home, reminiscing the sea, the scent of the ocean made Annie full of memories. Sharing with someone who was feeling as lost as her and as scared as her made her feel supported.
Suddenly she was irritated at Finnick for telling her to stay away from Wapser (even though he was trying to protect her from getting hurt).
That night Annie didn't have any nightmares, but a dream. Noah the cute boy from ten was there. Annie woke up flushed from embarrassment.
The last day of training was quite similar as the day before. But this time Finnick wasn't even here at breakfast. Mags repeated the same sentence. « He would love to be here but has an appointment. » Annie replaced it in her head with « he had sex again and stayed the night. » Nevertheless she wondered if he was okay and safe.
The day after she would have to show to the judge what she was capable of. So Annie tried all day to throw a knife in the dummy, and finally managed to hit someplace near the heart.
Wasper was surprisingly weak for someone who had fished is all life. So they both decided it was better for him to learn as much informations as possible on survivals skills like edible plants, fire and trap. So they could help each-other in the arena.
Again Annie felt Noah eyes on her the all day, making her as red as his hair.
It wasn't a surprise anymore when Finnick was missing at diner. Why on earth would he spend so much times with his lovers ?
This time Annie was angry. The day after they were going to present something to the judge and get graded from 1 to 12. Annie wasn't that good with a knife, she wished she could have get some advices from Finnick on what to do.
Mags looked sorry and tried to reassure her telling her that trowing a knife even if it didn't hit the heart and showing she could make a trap was a good idea. But it didn't help the anxiety building inside of her.
She was in her room fully awake unable to fall asleep when a knock on the door startled her. For a second Annie was confused did she actually fall asleep and it was morning already?
Wasper at the door and the dark of the living room told her it wasn't the morning.
« Hi Annie I'm sorry to bother it's just that I'm stressed out for tomorrow and I couldn't sleep, I was wondering if could stay with your for a while ? »
« Come on in » she didn't hesitate.
They both lied on her bed. Her heart ached immediately at the memory of her and Octave sleeping in the same bed when they were children during hurricanes. She always felt safe during those times.
« I know I'm going to die Annie and it scares me to hell. But what scares me the most is not the death itself but the people I leave behind. I just can't bare the idea to imagine my sisters, my mum, my father crying over my dead body. For them I just hope my death is not going to be too violent. You know. »
Annie wanted to reassure him and telling him that yes he had a chance to win. But seeing the district 1 and 2 tributes, and how weak he was, changes were slim for him. For her too she thought.
« I know what you mean Wasper. I really wish for the both of us that we won't die harshly. But what's even weirder is that sometimes I'm not even scared of death. I just can't wait to die so I can reunite with my mum and Pearl… But then I feel guilty because my father and my brother need me. »
« You're not alone I feel the same. When I think of death I think about my grand-father and how I could maybe reunite with him. He died a few years back. I loved him so much he always made ridiculous jokes and tried to make me believe that if I swam too deep in the sea, sharks would eat me you know. Everyone knows there are no sharks in district 4. But until I was like ten I was scared to swim because I believed him. My mum was so mad at my grand-father for telling me that. And then it took me a few months to believe her and to understand there were no sharks. »
They both laughed. It was cute, they were so many stories and legends like that about sea creatures they would read about on books and that a lot of children were scared off.
« My brother tried the same but I loved sea and swimming so much it didn't work »
« Oh Annie… That feel so good you know ? I'm glad we're bonding. Can you make me a promise ? If you do win which could be a possibility you're strong and eighteen ! Can you keep an eye on my sisters for me ? And tell my all family I love them ? » he sobbed.
Annie hugged him gently. She wasn't going to survive but she promised him anyway.
« Thank you Annie you're like the big sister I never had »
« And you're like the little brother I never had »
And they both fall asleep.
It was an upset Finnick who greeted her on the morning, or more a person who liked the guy she had met a few days ago. His tan skinned even with the cream was still not hiding well his tiredness and paleness. Bur right now it was not the main topic since he was looking so annoyed when he spoke to her.
« Annie did you just sleep in the same bed as Wasper ? I though we agreed it was best for you to not be close to anyone ? » his voice was calm but sounded so angry. So angry that Annie wondered if this anger was addressed to her or to himself.
Annie was fed up too in a few hours she was going to be judged on her capacities to fight for herself in the arena and her mentor hadn't even been here to help and support her. And now the first thing he told her was that ?
So when she spoke back all the resentment of the few days inhabited her.
« Who are you to decide for me ? You weren't even here the past few days. So I decided for myself that I don't want to follow your stupids advices and decided that Wasper and I are going to ally together ! »
Again as if someone else has inhabited him he responded harshly clearly hurt by her first comment about his absence.
« You know what fine by me ! If you don't want to win and want just to hurt yourself go ahead. But just to let you know I didn't win by caring for other I won because I put my feelings aside. And you said you wanted to be like me ! »
« Maybe I change my mind, maybe I don't to win anymore. Besides it's not like you've been a big help to me ! You just told me to be heartless like you and to throw a stupid knife. Thanks Finnick now I am going to be the best with the judges and I will probably survive one hour in the arena ! »
She was so tired and emotional she was almost crying.
She didn't know what she was saying anymore one day she wanted to win and told him he wasn't heartless, the other she was saying the opposite.
For a second he seemed to hesitate on what to say but finally responded.
« Fine do whatever you want you're a grown girl Annie. Good luck with the judges. » he responded too calmly almost sadly and went to his room banging the door behind him.
It's only then she realised that Mags and Magali were behind them the all time. Mags opened her mouth as if she was going to say something but didn't.
Thankfully Wasper had went to his room earlier to dress up.
After the fight she didn't see Finnick at all. Mags wished her good luck.
« Everything is going to be fine Annie, trust yourself make a trap, throw a knife. You'll get an average note which is great. Because people with hight scores are always the one chased by the Career. And don't be too harsh on Finnick. I swear he would have been here if he could. He will be here tomorrow to help for your interview. He's just trying to help you Annie… But even though I love him I do not agree with him all the time. I think you should stay by Wasper's side, it's not always too bad to care. »
Annie decided she loved this woman and wished again she had been her mentor.
As if she could read her mind Mags added :
« And Annie I still believe that Finnick is the mentor meant for you »
Annie couldn't help but roll her eyes.
The twenty-four of them were waiting in a room which smelled like disinfectant. Every one of them was going to present something to the judges, including the Game Maker.
This year it was a woman called Rani Smith.
It was starting with district 1 and Annie was glad she was from 4 which mean only 7 person were before her, including Wasper. Looking around in the room she was glad she wasn't one of the last. The two tributes from twelve were holdings hands and sobbing. Annie's eyes locked with Noah he winked. She couldn't help but wink back. They laughed.
Next to her Wasper was as stressed as her and was murmuring to himself what he was going to do. She squeezed his hand gently to reassure him. But truth is, she was as terrified and wanted to one thing : throw up.
Her fight with Finnick had brought up so many emotions and she was feeling nostalgic and sad and angry and disappointed and stressed and she was sure she was going to die soon.
Georges was called, then Nazel, then the two tributes from 3, and before she knew it Wasper was going in.
Twenty minutes passed and a woman, pink skin called her name.
She was shaking uncontrollably and knew it was one of the first sign of a panic attack. When she entered the room her heart was banging loudly and her breath got shorter.
She took a step back and tried to an exercise of breathing.
The judges and the Game Makers were all eating and talking with each other. It seemed they didn't even see her which actually reassured her.
She went to the trap station and build a trap with a rope she knotted. Then she put a dummy inside and it was caught in. She glanced a look at the judges they all look absorbed in their conversations except for the only woman. Probably the Game Maker.
She gave her a satisfied smile which reassured Annie. But when she walked to the knife station her legs and hands were shaking.
Come on Annie not the moment to have a panic attack. Please ! Be strong. The only thing you have to do is to throw the damn knife. She begged to herself.
She took the knife but couldn't hide the fact that her hand was shaking violently. She took a step back and try to stabilise her hand. She threw the knife. It ended up on the ground.
She started to feel tears in the corner of her eyes. She tried to didn't look up to the judges or she were going to cry for real.
So as calmly as she could she picked the knife from the ground. And threw it again. And again it didn't touch the dummy at all. And so she tried three times once more and finally like the day before it touched a place near the heart. Tears were dropping like a stream on her face. She looked up to the judges some of them were laughing a bit at her.
« Thank you. You're dismissed » said Rani Smith
Annie got out running from the room. Thankfully there were a bathroom near by. She put cold water on her face to try and calm herself. It worked for a few seconds and then tears were back. She sobbed loudly and couldn't breath anymore. She didn't know how much time it took her to calm herself but at one point she was able to get up still shaking.
And instead of going out of the bathroom, she threw up.