Chapter 17
Arizona groaned, where was she? The familiar feeling of being drugged, caused panic to build up inside her. She smelt the hospital, the slight smell of antiseptic, heard the beep of a cardiac monitor and feel the slightly scratchiness of the starch sheets.
Graham! Was he back, had he found her, is that why she was in hospital? Back in that room tied to the gurney again. She began struggling trying to fight her way out of the restraints.
"Arizona you're okay" someone said stroking her hand. She pulled it away unsure who it was, a female, where was Graham? Where was she?
"It's me Natasha, you are safe" the voice said, "Can you open your eyes?" Arizona tried, moving her face finally forcing her eyes open, blinking to clear the blurriness from her vision.
"Hey there" Natasha greeted her. "How are you feeling?"
Arizona furrowed her brow in confusion as she considered the question, how did she feel?
"Confused, tired, achy" she replied, looking around the room, recognising the VIP suite. "Why am I here?"
"Do you remember what happened yesterday?" Natasha asked helping her drink some water. Amelia had been paged earlier so it was just the two of them in the room. Arizona searched her mind trying to remember, still confused by waking up in hospital.
"Graham" Arizona said, there had been something about Graham. "He died" she recalled, "He took the cowards way out and he killed himself" she spat,
"How do you feel about that?" Natasha questioned, trying to hide her surprise.
"I have no idea, relieved, angry, lost, I mean he tore my life apart, he destroyed me, he took everything good away from me, and he just leaves, I don't even get to face him to say my piece, to watch him spend the rest of his life in jail. At the same time, I'm relieved." Arizona rubbed her flat stomach, "My baby is safe, there is no custody battle, no fighting, she is mine,"
"She" Natasha raised an eyebrow,
"It's a feeling," Arizona explained, "I didn't get this far last time, I got to 6 weeks and there was no heartbeat" panic crossed her face, "What if there is no heartbeat again? I can't survive that again" She panicked, Natasha grabbed her hand, squeezing it.
"Let's work on that fear, shall we?" she suggested.
Natasha finished the session an hour later, still not happy on the progress they had made, especially in light of the fact Arizona was going to lose her daughter in 2 weeks, and was already suffering multiple panic attacks and now this catatonic episode it was likely to get worse before it got better. Stepping outside the room she found Miranda hovering.
"How is she?"
"Confused, panicky, I'm worried to be honest. If it wasn't for Sofia leaving shortly, I'd recommend admission" Natasha said, "But I think that would cause more harm right now,"
"So, what do you recommend?" Miranda asked bluntly,
"First an ultrasound, she needs to know her baby is healthy," Natasha began, "Then intensive therapy, I need to meet her at least once a day, and she needs to ease back on work."
"That's a given, I'll talk to her about a fellowship, someone who can help with her workload" Bailey suggested, it would help now and in 6 months when she would have maternity leave.
"Sounds like a great plan" Natasha agreed, "But let it be her idea, she needs control" She warned, Miranda nodded, she was used to getting people to have her ideas.
"I'll get the ultrasound machine; it's been a while since I did my OB/Gynae placement, but I can find a baby" Bailey said making a phone call.
5 minutes later Jo Wilson appeared with the ultrasound machine, when Bailey had rung and asked for it to be brought to the VIP suite her noisiness had taken over and she had personally volunteered to bring it down.
"So, who is the VIP?" She asked Bailey excitedly, Bailey glared at her,
"Confidential" Bailey snapped before softening slightly. "Thanks for the ultrasound"
"You're welcome if you need any help let me know" Jo offered.
"You don't have any work to do?" Bailey snapped
"Well, I was meant to be on Doctor Robbin's service, but she isn't in yet. Dr Torres is doing her nut" Jo explained, "I've rounded on her patients, they are all stable, and I've rung and left a message, but all her surgeries are either cancelled or rearranged" Jo shrugged. "So no, I don't have much to do. I was going to try find Alex see if he will let me scrub in, but it's a shame, I really like fetal medicine."
Bailey paused; it would be useful for Wilson to be assigned to Arizona's service to keep an eye. If she was there Alex would be watching too.
"Okay, if I let you in you tell nobody, even Alex," Bailey ordered. Jo nodded, miming a key. Bailey opened the door.
"Arizona!" Jo exclaimed in shock seeing her friend and attending lying in a hospital bed IV running, she was staring blankly at the wall. "What are you doing here?" she asked worriedly. Arizona's eyes flicked to her and back to the wall.
"Wilson is on your service, she is here to update you" Bailey said breaking the tension looking pointedly at Jo, Arizona's eyes focused on her again.
"Oh yeah, Mrs Bennet in 203 has started labour, the baby is looking good. Russo is monitoring, you said they could deliver naturally. In 405 Greggory is bouncing back after his appendectomy," Jo began. Bailey let her finish Arizona even asking some questions and giving fresh orders. Once Jo had finished Bailey started to usher her out,
"She can stay," Arizona said, "She is going to find out anyway" She lifted her top revealing her flat stomach. Bailey nodded grabbing the ultrasound gel squeezing it onto her stomach before placing the probe.
A heartbeat sounded on screen; Arizona teared up.
"It has a heartbeat" she cried joyfully, "it didn't have a heartbeat last time." She studied the image on screen, checking its development, its growth. It looked good, it looked perfect.
"You're pregnant!" Jo exclaimed confused. "How?" She knew how, but how had Arizona? The baby looked to be about 9 weeks, before the custody case, before they knew Sofia was moving away.
"Wilson, you know how babies are born" Bailey chastised,
"I do but…" Jo continued, her eyes widening as she remembered the gastro bug, how skittish Arizona had been since. It was unlikely she had chosen to go out and have sex, most likely she was forced. "I am so sorry" she apologised. She could now understand a little more about why Arizona had been acting so weird over the last few weeks.
"Its fine, when can I go home?" Arizona asked Bailey.
"Natasha wants to do another session this afternoon, if she is happy, she'll release you, medically I just wanted to check your baby was okay, have you eat and keep down a meal, finish one more bag of fluids and you can go. Wilson will drive you home" Bailey ordered.
"Of course." Jo agreed. "Does Alex know? Wait does Callie?" She questioned.
"No" Arizona said it coming out shorter than she expected. "Only Bailey, Shepard, and Natasha know. I can't tell her, she'll think I'm replacing Sofia, she'll hate me" Arizona felt her breaths coming faster, as the panic began building up. This time she was able to use the techniques Natasha had given her to calm down.
"I won't tell her, I won't tell anyone, not even Alex" Jo promised. "Your secret is safe" she hesitated. "I do need to tell you something though, 2 things, but they might upset you" she said, ignoring Bailey's glares.
"Callie is looking for you, and everyone thinks Natasha is your girlfriend, which, I'm guessing isn't true" Jo revealed, to their surprise Arizona didn't have a panic attack instead she started laughing.
"My girlfriend, they think she is my girlfriend" she cried hysterically. "As if I have time to date. As if anyone would want to date me" she laughed, crying, letting all those emotions out. "I'm a cripple, a lesbian, a single mom, I'm pregnant, a whore, with PTSD, who suffocates those who love her. Why would anyone date me" Arizona exclaimed still laughing.
Bailey stood awkwardly, not sure if she liked the catatonic Arizona or the hysterical Arizona both were pretty scary. Jo stood unsure of what to do, expecting Bailey to take over.
"I'd date you, you're hot" she said honestly. "In fact, when we were interns, we voted who was the sexiest male and sexiest female"
Arizona's blue eyes met Jo's as she made eye contact, Callie would be first, then April, Meredith, Amelia, Maggie, Bailey, then her. She once would have been competition for top, but not now, not since losing her leg.
"Sexiest male had to be my Ben" Bailey joined in
"Attendings only" Jo said quickly, in truth Ben was too old to be their top choice, not when there were others who were hotter.
"Jackson?" Arizona guessed, he would be her choice, with those eyes, and that smile, if she was straight.
"Yes, Alex was 2, Derick 3, we didn't go any further" Jo said quickly, "Now guess sexiest female" she insisted,
"Callie" Arizona said straight away, after Callie was the sexiest woman she knew, and her smile, it could light up a universe.
"No" Jo smirked,
"Meredith?" Arizona asked,
"Nope"
"April" Arizona guessed again,
"No"
"Maggie?"
"No, she wasn't even working here when we voted" Jo was fully smiling now; this could go on for some time. Bailey was wisely keeping quiet, she could guess who was number 1, especially given that Leah Murphy was on the voting panel.
"Amelia"
"Nope, come on you can get this" Jo encouraged,
"Bailey?"
"No"
"Cristina, she was working here then" Arizona recalled.
"No"
"Who else is there?" Arizona pondered out loud,
"Really?" Jo questioned. "You, I mean you had Leah's vote, Shane voted Cristina, Stephanie voted Amelia, but she has always had a hard on for neuro, Ben obviously voted for Dr Bailey, DeLuca voted for Mer, but you were his number 2, I guess he has a blonde thing and I voted for you" Jo revealed, "I guess I've always had a Peds thing" she reflected.
"Me?" Arizona said puzzled, "But I lost my leg, I had PTSD"
"And you're still hot" Jo replied, "I mean Cristina had PTSD and was just past throwing flowerpots. Amelia is an ex-drug user, that doesn't make them less sexy" she explained, "when people look at you, they aren't looking at your leg, not with that smile and those dimples"
"She is right" Bailey agreed. "Now more importantly who was Ben's number 2" she asked,
"He refused, he said that there was only one woman in his life, and that's all he wanted" Jo replied
"Good man" Bailey said, smiling she really had found a good one there. Arizona sat confused, how had she won sexiest attending with one leg?
"What about Callie?" Arizona asked, was everyone blind, had they not seen her smile, how her face lit up a whole room, the intenseness of her gaze, Callie was sex on legs.
"Callie was my number 2, Shane's as well" Jo explained, "I mean she is sexy but in a dark brooding way."
"Callie is amazing, she is so sexy, when you look at her, she sets your heart racing, when she looks at you every cell in your body feels alive. Or at least it did" Arizona paused, recalling her last few encounters with Callie, the private investigator, the custody battle. "Then she destroys you" she moaned,
"Give us a minute" Bailey ordered Jo, "In fact go get us lunch" she ordered. She knew Arizona would want privacy. Jo stood and left, deliberately waiting outside the door, she was curious why did Arizona now hate Callie. Plus, she loved having the gossip, even if she wouldn't tell anyone.
"You still love her" she heard Bailey say inside the room.
"I love Callie, I love the woman who made me laugh, who had dance parties in the living room, who hid snacks everywhere I went cus she knows I forget to eat. I hate Torres, the woman who wanted to move my daughter, who is moving my daughter across country, who hired a private investigator, who knows every detail about my fucked-up life and still plays the victim card. She still pretends to care, she had me stalked, you don't do that if you love someone" She could hear Arizona rant. Knowing she had heard too much, Jo quickly left. She needed to get to the canteen before the rush.
Arriving at the canteen her heart sunk as Callie and Alex approached her.
"Have you seen Robbin's?" Alex asked worriedly. Callie had approached him earlier that day, they'd tried calling and paging, but she hadn't replied. Jo said nothing, unsure what she was allowed to say but knowing Alex could tell when she was lying.
"I have spoken to her," she confirmed, "I'm on her service" she reminded them.
"Is she alright?"
"Where is she?" Alex and Callie asked at the same time. Jo took a step back,
"I can't say and kinda" Jo shrugged,
"What do you mean kinda?" Callie asked,
"I mean even if she wasn't okay, I'm not telling you unless she specifically asks me to share." Jo revealed,
"Your stating doctor patient confidentiality is she a patient here?" Callie asked concerned.
"I'm not saying anything else" Jo stated, "If you want any more information talk to Dr Robbins or Dr Bailey" Jo insisted going to the food queue.
"We would if either of them answered their phones" Callie moaned, her plans of talking to Arizona today to find out what was wrong being ruined. It was frustrating especially considering she was leaving in 13 days and wanted to make sure her ex-wife was okay. Even as she thought that a little part of her whispered, you know she isn't okay, that why you're worried, she hadn't been okay since the plane crash, but recently she had been worse. Callie's mind searched back, to when she had noticed her behaviour change, it had been weeks ago, the meeting at the coffee shop, the meeting she had told her she was taking Sofia.
Her mind travelled back to that meeting remembering Arizona walking in, she'd been skittish, the cut on her forehead, she had said gasto, but something more had to be going on, something big. Callie needed to know what.
"Please Jo," Callie begged. "Please I need to see her, I need…."
"You need to leave her alone" Jo said harshly, "If she wants to talk to you then she will"
"Jo what's going on?" Alex questioned; he too was worried about his mentor. Jo rolled her eyes,
"You know what I don't need to eat today" she said walking out the canteen. Both attendings ganging up on her was too much, and while normally she sided with Alex she couldn't today. Arizona had been attacked, raped and had her child taken away, she was now pregnant and alone and she couldn't deal with the 2 people who should have noticed straight away, and only 10 weeks down the line were realising something was wrong.
Instead of food from the canteen Jo walked the short distance to the local deli picking up food to go before returning to the VIP floor and Arizona's room.
"I brought taco's" she announced walking back in.
"Great I'm starving" Bailey said as Jo handed the taco's around, "You have to eat at least one" Bailey insisted. Arizona rolled her eyes, she was sitting up in the hospital bed, and although she appeared pale, the bag of fluids was nearly through. "And don't think I've forgotten about the conversation about your working hours"
"I need to work; I need to keep busy" Arizona protested.
"I know but you have a baby to look after. There is 2 of you now to think of" Bailey said,
"What?" a voice at the door made all 3 inside the room jump, Callie entered. Once she had known that Jo had contacted Arizona, she had decided to follow her hoping that it led to her ex-wife, when she had seen the lift go up to the VIP floor it hadn't taken a huge jump to work out where they were hiding.
"2 of you?" all the concern she had had previously went out the window, "You're replacing Sofia already" Callie judged speaking before her brain caught up.
"No Callie it's not like that" Arizona protested, sitting up further trying to reach Callie's hand to stop her from leaving,
"Then what is it like Arizona?" Callie asked sitting on the edge of the bed. Bailey grabbed Jo pushing her out the room following and shutting the door. This was a conversation long overdue that both women needed. What she did do was call Natasha, she knew Arizona would need her therapist once it was done.
Uh oh will Callie listen or will she continue to jump to conclusions, will Arizona talk or will she just keep running away. Has Bailey locked the door and just keep them in there until they've made up.