Of course they are going to talk, they had to at some point, i hope you like it
Chapter 18
Inside the room Arizona avoided Callie's question instead twisting the sheet, she knew they needed this conversation but already it wasn't going the way she wanted, already she could feel the panic building up inside her.
"Arizona, please talk to me?" Callie begged. Her brain had caught up with her mouth now, something was wrong, Arizona had been adamant she didn't want another baby, would she have gone on an IVF journey so quickly after their split. Her gut said no, which is why her heart was breaking, what had her ex-wife gone through and why was she lying in a hospital bed.
"I'm not replacing Sofia" Arizona choked out, "I would never, I could never, she is my daughter"
"I know, she is your daughter, I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that, but Arizona how?" she took Arizona's hand and could feel her shaking,
"I didn't want to," Arizona muttered, "I didn't want to," she cried,
"Didn't want to what Arizona?" Callie asked her heart dropping, as her mind jumped to the worst-case scenario, a scenario that was looking more and more likely. Especially with her ex-wife's recent behaviour, she reached out stroking her arm, trying to offer all the comfort she could.
"Wait" Arizona paused, as her mind caught up with her mouth, why was she telling Callie this, Callie knew all this, she'd paid a private eye to follow her, why was she being all concerned now? Was she that sadistic to make Arizona relive those painful moments? "You know what happened, why don't you ask your private investigor, you know the man who followed me for weeks?" she snapped, she sat on the edge of the bed putting her leg on intent on leaving the room as soon as she had it on. She was feeling claustrophobic and trapped and needed to get out, needed to escape the room. Her coping mechanism was to run and thats what she was going to do.
"What PI?" Callie asked frustrated and confused, just when she thought she was getting through Arizona had shut down again.
"Don't deny it Callie, I heard your lawyer at the custody case, I saw the folder he gave to her, if I remember mentally ill slut who sleeps around and has even started operating on patients outside the hospital environment," Arizona quoted Callie's lawyer. Callie's eyes widened in shock, as she tried to process that, mentally ill could be the PTSD, slut, well Arizona had slept with a lot of people before their relationship, not so much after, but operating on patients outside the hospital, where had that come from?
"Arizona, I never hired a PI, I don't have any idea what you're talking about, you operated on patients outside the hospital? Like a trauma?" Callie questioned her mind spinning.
"That's not what your lawyer said, Mrs Torres will be pleased" Arizona snarked, her leg was on now, so she stood and stormed out. She couldn't handle Callie's woe is me, innocent act, not after all the pain she had been through. If she had stayed, she would have seen Callie's disbelief and puzzled expression
"But my lawyer called me Callie, I used the one my mother recommended," Callie muttered to an empty room.
Suddenly things made sense. She would never hire a PI, but her mother would, to protect her family, actually she had suggested it, via her father, but Callie had refused. It explained why Arizona had suddenly dropped the custody case, and why her lawyer had been so smug that they'd win, even when it appeared they were loosing. If her suspicions were correct her mother had gone ahead and contacted her lawyer separately.
Callie reached into her pocket getting her phone she had some calls to make. First her mother, then her lawyer. She had to know what was going on, or at least what she was being blamed for.
She dialled her mother's cell, it was answered within 2 rings.
"Mija, what did to do to get the honour of you calling" her mother asked sarcastically. The last time Callie had spoken to her mother was the day of her wedding, where Lucia had called their lifestyle sinful and refused to attend. Since all communication had been through Carlos
"What did you do momma, why did you send the PI?"
"You do what you have to, in order to protect your family" Lucia replied unapologetically
"Arizona is family" Callie protested
"Arizona is your ex-wife" Lucia reminded her,
"Arizona is Sofia's other mother; she'll always be family"
"Sofia's family but not yours, Penny is your family now and as much as I disagree with your lifestyle choices you are still my daughter, and nobody hurts my family. I did what I had to in order to make sure my granddaughter grows up with you" Lucia said unapologetically.
"Arizona is my family, she was there when you abandoned me, she was there in my darkest hour, she is not just Sofia's other mother, she is everything" Callie defended,
"Don't defend her Calliope, your father told me everything, how she cheated you how she tried to take your daughter away saying she was her mother" Lucia snorted, "How could she be, she isn't related at all."
"Arizona is as every bit Sofia's mother as I am, how dare you" Callie fought back.
"Why are you defending her so much, she is a slut. I looked over the folder the PI put together, you know she goes to 3 different support groups and therapy 2-3 times a week. PTSD, Amputation and Rape. She is a mess, Calliope, a true mess. Getting herself raped like that, you know she was performing operations outside the hospital. Sofia is better off without her. Children with disabled parents perform less well at school have higher levels of anxiety and depression. Sofia needs to be as far away from her as possible and so do you" Lucia ranted. Callie almost dropped the phone in shock at the hateful things her mother was spouting.
"No, that means she is strong, she had been through so much and she is still fighting, she is a brilliant mother, Sofia loves her, she always puts her first no matter what and if you actually came and spent time with her, with us, you'd see that."
"With us, Calliope there is no us, you divorced her, why are you defending her so much? And don't tell me that crap about being Sofia's mother, I know it's more than that"
"Because I love her okay" Callie shouted, "Because when I close my eyes and I imagine the soccer world cup final she is there, she is always there"
"Then why have you treated her so badly, you divorced her, tried to take her child across country, you don't love her Callie" Lucia scoffed. "You don't know what love is"
"She cheated on me" Callie protested, "She cheated, and I tried but I still love her" the realisation hit her harder than expected. She had tried to deny it but now she knew, in her heart. She was desperately, totally, in love with Arizona. She sat on the bed her legs feeling numb, she had messed up big time. She hung up on her mother, while she couldn't forgive her actions in hiring the private investigator, she was a little grateful that she had forced her to reveal her feelings.
Her mind was spinning so fast she didn't know what to think first. Arizona was pregnant, she had been raped, operating outside the hospital, thinking she was a slut, help groups. Nausea built up in her throat, she jumped off the bed going to the toilet making it just in time to vomit. The woman she loved had been raped and she hadn't even realised. She tried to think when, they hadn't been communicated for a while, not properly, but it couldn't have been a long time ago, Arizona didn't look pregnant, she looked gaunt, thin, pale.
The cafe, came to mind, Arizona had taken 2 weeks off, Callie had resorted to organising Meredith to take Sofia so she could warn her of the move prior to returning to work. She had a cut to her head, been jumpy, it had to be then. Callie cursed her past insensitivity she had been so busy trying to sort out her new life, had been so excited to start fresh with Penny, even though she had been concerned about her ex-wife. Instead she had figured all the changes had to be the custody case, without realising the changes had been before that, her concerns had started before that. But she was, she was always going to be Callie's problem because she loved her.
She just had to work out how to prove that. With that thought in mind Callie stood up wiping the vomit from her mouth and washing her hands. She needed to call Penny in New York, she needed to tell her they were over, that she'd made a mistake, Seattle was home, Sofia, and Arizona they were home. Sure there had been bad moments over the years, but there had been more happier memories, thousands of happy moments, memories together.
"Callie hey, I wasn't expecting you to call until tonight" Penny said, "How did Arizona take the news you fly out Saturday?"
"About that…" Callie replied, wincing slightly,
"You're not flying out Saturday you want to delay? Did she take it that badly? Callie, we discussed this a clean break might be easier in the long run" Penny lectured,
"I'm not flying out," Callie interrupted, this wasn't going the way she wanted.
"What do you mean? Are you driving?" Penny asked, Callie remained silent, trying to find the words, "You're not coming, are you?" Penny guessed.
"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry" Callie cried,
"It's okay, I never expected you to come, so when you said you were willing to move, it was a nice surprise, but your life is in Seattle, your daughter is settled there, and I love you so much, but I'm not sure I'm ready for a 7-year-old full time in my life."
"You never said" Callie said, slightly angry, she was going to uproot her whole life for Penny who wasn't sure that's what she wanted. She had fought Arizona for Penny, disrupted their whole lives to be happy with Penny.
"The two weeks we had Sofia full time, it was a lot, with work as well" Penny said, "We barely had any time for us, and with the fellowship…."
"Well, you won't have to worry about that," Callie said angry, "In fact you don't ever have to worry about us time again, have a nice life Penny"
"And you, Callie, don't let her get away again" Penny warned she hung up the phone.
Callie nodded even though nobody could see, this felt right. She didn't even feel sad to say goodbye to Penny, no regrets, just anger that it had taken her so long to work out what she needed. Instead all she wanted to do was find Arizona she had to make things right, do what she should have done the whole time, be there for her.
She left the VIP room the corridor empty, where would Arizona go? There was a time Callie would know, she knew all her hiding places, but that was then, this was now. She began searching the hospital not finding Arizona anywhere, defeated for now Callie headed to day care to collect Sofia.
"Mamma," she greeted hugging her. "Where is mommy? I miss her" She said, Callie sighed she had expected that since finding out they were moving Sofia asked about Arizona constantly. Only now Callie could see how worried her daughter was about her other mom. If possible it made her feel worse, how could she have been this dense.
"I know, mommy is around, but I do have some good news" Callie said bending down.
"No, the last good news was I'm leaving mommy" Sofia said upset covering her ears but continuing to speak, "And that's not good news, that's bad news, I don't want to go" she said pouting, tears running down her face. Her teacher had told her class today that she was leaving, and everyone had been sad which had made her even sadder. Now she was just devastated and struggling to express it.
Callie stood she could see how much she had hurt her daughter. She'd started with three parents and now she'd tried to be the only one. To tear her daughter away from someone who loved her deeply.
"No this is good news. We aren't moving, we are staying in Seattle, we are staying with Mommy" Callie said kneeling next to her daughter. She lifted her holding her tightly in a hug "We are staying Mija, we are staying with our family. I'm so sorry I tried to separate you and mommy" She apologised. "I love you Mija"
"I love you too Mamma, and we can stay? For real?" Sofia checked not believing her ears. Callie nodded and was rewarded with a huge smile. "Can we tell Mommy?" Sofia asked bouncing slightly, all traces of tears wiped from her face.
"Sure" Callie said, Sofia might be the perfect buffer between them, and Arizona needed to know as soon as possible they weren't moving away. Especially if the rumour mill was true and she had a new girlfriend. Something that Callie was currently doubting, Arizona seemed to be in no place for dating even if she had been seen leaving her office with a hot brunette multiple times recently.
She sent Arizona a text asking if she could meet them both at the park, as it was a rare day without rain Callie wanted to make the most of it. She was hoping by telling Arizona that Sofia would be there she'd consent to come. Her phone buzzed a few minutes later Arizona agreeing to come.
It was 10 minutes later Callie noticed Arizona walking up to them, she had a fake smile plastered across her face. Callie could see she was tense and had likely only come because Callie had said Sofia wanted to see her, no matter what had gone on Arizona would always strive to be a good mother. Now Callie knew everything she could see the effects the last few months had had on her, the weight loss, the jumpiness, even to the way she walked, she was a lot more guarded. It broke her heart to see how much her ex-wife had changed now she was looking closely at her.
"Hey Arizona, thanks for coming" Callie greeted, Arizona shrugged standing a safe distance from Callie.
"You said you had to tell me something important about Sofia" Arizona said, it was the only reason she had come, her mind had been racing trying to work it out. Was she okay? Was it more bad news? Were they going to leave sooner?
"Yeah, Sof," Callie called their daughter raced over
"Mommy" she said screaming excitedly, jumping into Arizona's arms, Arizona easily catching her swinging to rest on her hip hugging her tightly.
"You want to tell Mommy our exciting news" Callie offered. Sofia nodded. Arizona bit her lip, bracing herself, fully expecting to hear when her family was abandoning her, going to New York, trying desperately to make sure her smile didn't falter, or the tears didn't fall, not in front of her daughter and not to give Callie the satisfaction.
"Were not moving to New York, we can stay here with you forever" Sofia said joyfully bouncing with joy so much so Arizona put her down.
"What?" Arizona replied shocked, "You're not moving, why?" she questioned, making eye contact with Callie for the first time. Callie was shocked to see how dull and lifeless the normally stunning eyes appeared. They'd lost their sparkle and almost become sunken and hollow.
"We have a lot to talk about" Callie replied cryptically, "I know wires have been crossed and I think we need to clear the air, without little ears listening in." She nodded to Sofia who was still doing a happy dance. "And I know I'm asking a lot, but we need to arrange Sofia's schedule and decide how we are splitting time between us. If you need someone with you, that's okay too" Callie offered trying to be supportive, if that's what Arizona needed right now, then she could do this, even if it was the new girlfriend.
"Ok" Arizona was slightly subdued, she didn't want to spend any longer with Callie than necessary but Callie had the power. If she wasn't moving and was going to allow visitation Arizona would jump through all the hoops she had to, anything for Sofia.
"Ok" Callie agreed, pleasantly surprised Arizona was going along with this, "would tomorrow work for you, I can ask Mer to babysit, and it gives us time to consider what works for us," Callie suggested. Again, Arizona nodded, she didn't need time to consider what she wanted, it was simple she wanted Sofia in her life as much as Callie would allow. Still today had been an emotional and taxing day, since waking up in the VIP suite to now, Arizona felt exhausted.
"And it should be on neutral ground I was thinking Mama's burgers on 3rd," Callie suggested. Again, Arizona nodded. Neutral ground was safer for both of them.
"Great, meet there at 6?" Arizona nodded once again. "Alright, bye" Callie said awkwardly. "Say night to mommy Sof" she ordered. Sofia ran over hugging Arizona tightly.
"I love you so much" Arizona whispered.
"I love you too Mommy" Sofia said kissing her cheek,
"Bye Callie" Arizona said waving before walking away.
Callie watched sadly she wanted to say so much more, tell Arizona about everything she learnt but she could tell her ex-wife was skittish. Patience, she reminded herself, the problem was patience wasn't her strong point, but she knew if she rushed this she could drive Arizona further away from her forever. Maybe it was time to think about therapy, she needed someone impartial to talk to.
Hopefully that worked, they finally talked with more talking in the next chapter, was it worth the wait, did you like it?