I am posting a little later today than I do usually. My seven-year-old son participated in his first concert this afternoon and we've been celebrating with him the rest of the day (I don't usually write these personal things here, but today I am such a proud parent, I am telling this to everyone who I even remotely communicate with, so I hope you don't mind me putting this here.)

As always, I really enjoyed reading your reviews, so thank you all very much and I hope you will enjoy this chapter!

The next one will be on Wednesday but maybe there will be a little surprise in between, since I looked through some old journals and stumbled across something I've written a very long time ago.

More Than Anything

Chapter 9 – "Ain't she great?"

Sheldon

"Sheldon, relax. Mid-terms went great. I got a C+. That is better than I expected. I just need to keep this up until finals and then I'm fine."

He shook his head. How could Penny be content with a C+? He had never gotten a C+ in his life. This was a nightmare.

So, he had suggested doubling their tutoring sessions and writing a test for her every week from now on until finals, which she had rejected.

"Correct me, if I am wrong. Didn't you say you needed a GPA of 2.7 to be eligible to transfer to CSU? How do you want to achieve that if you're okay with getting a C+?"

Penny rolled her eyes at him.

"Look Sheldon, I got mostly Bs and a few As on my other classes these past semesters. My goal for this class is simply to pass. What we've been doing so far, it's enough. And then, three weeks from now, I will never have to look at a science book again."

Well, this approach was completely foreign to him. But she seemed to have made up her mind.

"Fine.", he conceded. "Although it's a shame. Now that you finally seem to understand some things. Are you sure you don't want to rethink your major? They must have an acceptable science program at CSU."

She just snorted at him. Well, it had been worth a shot.

"So, this means, a few weeks from now, you won't need me to tutor you anymore then."

He said this, with a hint of regret. It had been fun, tutoring Penny. Sometimes, this was the only time of the week when he really got to talk to her.

And other than helping her study, they had always taken some time to discuss his issues too. Getting to talk about his relationship had helped him more than he had expected

"I guess.", she shrugged, and his face fell.

"Although…", she continued, and he looked at her expectantly. "I have to choose one math class for next semester. I was going to do this with Cole, since we both suck at math. But if you don't mind, we could really use your help."

He didn't know how to feel about this.

Teaching math to Penny would be no problem, since he expected this class to be even easier than her science class. But since she was taking it with Cole, would that mean he would have to tutor him too?

"That depends.", Penny answered after he asked her this same question. "If you'd be willing, I am sure, he'd be more than grateful. But I understand if you don't want to. You could just tutor me and then I will tutor him."

This was one of the situations, when he just did not know what the social protocol was.

If he offered to tutor Cole too, then that meant, he would no longer get to ask Penny for advice about his relationship.

But Penny had to have a reason to ask him in the first place.

"Penny? What exactly is your relationship with Cole?", he finally decided to ask.

"Well…", Penny sighed. "He's my friend. A very good one at that. And then there's the fact that he asked me out after the scavenger hunt two months ago. I turned him down, because back then I was still so hung up on Leonard. But now… I don't know."

"So, you're saying you're over Leonard?", he asked, scratching his head. "Because I always assumed you two would get back together eventually."

Suddenly, Penny looked sad.

"I thought so too. But he seems to be happy with Alex. So, maybe at this point I just have to accept that this will not happen. Not this time."

This bothered him more than he liked to admit. Somehow, he had always viewed himself, Penny and Leonard as a unity. A family of sorts.

"So, you're thinking about starting a relationship with Cole now?", he clarified.

Penny shrugged. "I actually don't know. He's such a great friend. I would hate to destroy it." She turned to him. "What do you think I should do?"

He chuckled as he thought about a very similar conversation from a few years back.

"Do I have to remind you of Schrödinger's cat?"

Penny laughed heartily.

"What so you're telling me to just go for it?"

He thought about it for a moment. He really wanted Penny back with Leonard. But for that to happen, maybe Penny, like Leonard, did have to date someone else first.

And just in case she and Leonard would not get back together, well he at least he wanted her to be with someone who would treat her well.

"If there's a possibility it will make you happy, why not?"

Oh no, being with Amy really was turning him into a hippie…

She looked at him seriously.

"Thank you, Sheldon. I will consider it."

Well, so that was it. Penny might soon be in a new relationship. And then she would probably have even less time for their little group of friends. Unless…

"Penny, you can tell Cole I will tutor you both next semester."

He took a deep breath.

"And while you're at it, ask him if he's into video games."

"Really?", Penny raised looked at him disbelievingly. "You're inviting him to play video games with you guys?"

"Well…", he shrugged. "Howard's sometimes backing out of our game nights because of plans with Bernadette. And Leonard has been busier too lately. We could use a back-up player."

Penny

It had been a few days since her conversation with Sheldon about Cole and she still had not made up her mind.

Maybe because she was so busy. She had been busier than ever in her life these past few weeks.

She had tried to see her friends as much as possible despite her busy schedule, but she did have to miss a few girls' nights.

Still, she saw Bernadette and Amy sometimes in apartment 4A and at the Cheesecake factory. It was great finally spending time with her friends again, at least once or twice a week.

As if he was avoiding her, Leonard seemed always to be out when she was there.

Only once had he walked past her in the stairway, wearing a really ugly looking red sweater, cursing something under his breath.

And then of course there was Sheldon tutoring her. She still was surprised that he had offered to tutor Cole too, starting the following semester.

It felt like she was seeing him finally grow up. He seemed so much calmer now than he did when she had first met him.

The way he talked about Amy warmed her heart. He was trying so hard to be the best boyfriend he could be.

Several times a week, she saw Amy in the early morning, walking up the stairs to meet Sheldon for breakfast.

And once she had walked in on him trying to make the perfect pancakes for her. It was simply adorable.

Seeing them together sometimes felt like watching a romantic movie unfold before her eyes and she couldn't wait to see the rest of it.

Also, the way Sheldon had been helping her, with so much patience, well she could honestly say she was really happy to have a friend like him.

Her favorite parts of the week however were the two afternoons she spent with her study group. She fit in there. Not for her looks or for her ability to hold her liquor.

For the past weeks, she had been looking at Cole with new eyes. He respected her. He valued her opinion. He liked spending time with her.

And after she had turned him down, nothing had changed. He had not tried to persuade her or hit on her and he also had not stopped being her friend.

He was so nice to her. Not because he wanted something of her, but because he really appreciated her as a person.

If she looked at it logically, he would be the perfect match for her. And he did not seem like someone who would want to get married or move in together or have children anytime soon.

Also, with Leonard moving on, how long did she really want to wait?

"If there's a possibility it will make you happy, why not?"

Maybe Sheldon was onto something. He did seem to know a lot about happiness lately.

"Penny? Are you alright? You seem kind of distracted today."

She looked up to see Cole studying her expression. Yes, she had not really been focused on her books.

"Just… thinking about some things. So, are you flying home for Thanksgiving this year?"

A wave of sadness seemed to spread on Cole's face. He probably missed his family.

"Maybe later this year. For Christmas. I've got too much studying to do. Besides. Thanksgiving is not really a thing where I come from. You? Off to Nebraska?"

Penny shook her head. She had not even for a second thought about going home. But then again, she really did not want to be completely alone, now that she would not get to celebrate with Leonard and Sheldon like usual.

"Hey, here's a crazy idea. Why don't we go out that night? Have a Thanksgiving menu someplace nice."

Cole grinned at her.

"Really? I think that sounds wonderful. Having a nice dinner with a good friend."

Penny took a deep breath. It was now or never.

"Or… this could be our first date. If your offer still stands."

For a second, Cole looked surprised. But then he nodded.

"I'd love that. It's a date."

Leonard

Things were working out perfectly.

After Alex had taken him to her apartment a few weeks back, they had seen each other almost every day. Mostly at her place and sometimes with his friends.

He was proud of Sheldon who really tried his best to make his former assistant feel welcome and kept his digs about her lack of a PhD to a minimum.

And after he had sat him down – while not agreeing to apologize for what he said during the Scavenger hunt, since he considered it to be the truth – he had conceded to keep his thoughts on the future of this relationship to himself from now on.

But he was even more thankful for Amy. He had been concerned because of her loyalty to her bestie, especially since Bernadette made no secret of the fact, she wanted him back with his ex-girlfriend.

Amy had really surprised him though. She had gone out of her way to make Alex feel included with the group.

Currently they were discussing Alex's doctoral thesis over Thai food at his place. Even Sheldon was impressed by her thorough research, and he actually managed to give her some useful advice.

"You know, Alex, you should have approached me with this sooner. I might have let you do something other than pick up my food and you could still be my assistant.", he mentioned, nodding approvingly.

He had to chuckle when Amy translated for her boyfriend.

"What Sheldon meant to say, Alex, is that he is sorry for underestimating your talent and he regrets no longer having you work for him."

Even Sheldon smiled at that. Yes, Amy really had softened him.

A little later, Howard came bursting into the apartment and invited them for Thanksgiving at his mother's house.

Bernadette looked a little sour when he asked Alex to join too. But she would have to come to terms with the fact that things had changed around here.

Sheldon wasn't thrilled either about having Thanksgiving anywhere else than at their place.

"Did you at least invite Penny too?", he asked after he apparently realized that he would not get out of this.

"I did.", Howard answered, looking on the floor as if he was hiding something. "She's… uhm… busy."

"Busy?", Amy wondered. "With what?"

He did not understand why Howard looked at him like this. Like he was sorry for him. Until Bernadette gave them an answer.

"She's going on a date. With Cole."

For a second, he felt as if he had lost his ability to breathe.

"Oh…", he answered, already feeling Alex's eyes on him. "Well… good for her."

Penny

"So, I must say, I never had Thanksgiving dinner at a restaurant. It's... nicer than I expected."

Penny beamed at Cole. It really was a great evening. Not just the food. But also, the company. It was so easy, talking to him. He was smart, funny and just so, so nice.

"It is better than I expected too. And you really never went out on the holidays?"

"No. As I said, we never celebrated Thanksgiving at home. But for Christmas, my family is very traditional. My mum always makes everything from scratch with my sisters and me helping with dessert."

That sounded lovely. She thought about her own family in Nebraska. The past years all holidays had been overshadowed by her brother's prison sentence. It was not something she wanted to talk about on a first date.

"Well, I haven't been home for Thanksgiving in years. But a few years back I was at a strip club where they had a surprisingly good turkey dinner."

Cole nearly choked on his drink.

"In a strip club? On Thanksgiving?"

"Yeah. In Vegas actually. It was a fun trip with… someone."

Oh crap. Never talk about ex-boyfriends on your first date. She really was out of practice.

"Someone?", Cole teased. "You mean Leonard?"

Penny snorted. "No. Leonard's very big on doing things the traditional way. No, that was after we broke up the first time. It was with someone else. We were not in a serious relationship, but we did have lots of fun in Vegas."

"I can imagine.", he answered. "I always meant to go to Vegas at some point. What did you do besides have dinner at a strip club?"

"Oh, you really should go sometime. We had so much fun. We gambled, saw some shows and then we went to a chapel and had one of those silly fake weddings."

He was looking at her incredulously. What was going on?

"Penny… You know those are real, right?"

Hah, what a funny joke…

"No, they're not.", she snorted.

"Yes, they are.", he insisted, and she tried to figure out if he was serious.

"No.", she said again, starting to doubt herself.

"Yes. Yes, they are real."

He looked at her so seriously.

Oh… Oh no… Oh crap.

Amy

Thanksgiving at Mrs. Wolowitz's house had been nothing but great.

Hanging out with her friends, eating Rajesh's delicious food, if only Penny had been there too, it would have been perfect.

Amy had texted her earlier, asking how her date was going.

Out of curiosity and also because she wanted to make sure, Penny really felt good about this.

Her jaw had dropped though when she received an answer text, ending with a whole line of wide eyed emojis.

"On my way to Zack's place to annul our Las Vegas marriage. I'll explain later. Probably my first and last date with Cole."

She had not wanted to spill the beans, but everyone had heard her cry out in surprise in the kitchen.

It had been the number one topic and for a second, she had been scared for Leonard who had suffered a severe asthma attack.

She had felt sorry for Alex who must have felt awful, seeing her boyfriend react this way. But to her credit, she had let it go and just taken care of him until he was well again.

Of course, a little later, something else had happened, that had stopped the others gossiping over Penny's accidental marriage.

It had been funny, seeing her usually so controlled boyfriend getting drunk with Bernadette's Dad.

Her butt was still feeling slightly warm. That's what she had been talking about when she had wanted him to spank her harder.

Oh, she had seen the looks on her friends' faces. The condescension. The ridiculing.

But she knew, Sheldon had not meant any disrespect. It had just been his way to express physically what he had said before. 'Ain't she great.'

And the way he had grinned at her afterwards. Mischievously and a little like he was proud of himself.

Oh, she had not been able to stop feeling giddy all night after that.

But then, he was awfully quiet when she was driving him home.

Maybe he was just tired. His body was probably still trying to process the unusual amounts of alcohol in his system.

She walked him up to the apartment and prepared him some tea while he sat in his spot. He still had not said a word. She was starting to feel a little anxious.

She sat down next to him then and handed him his mug.

"Thank you.", he mumbled and took a sip.

What was going on with him? Yes, he was probably still a little tipsy, but he seemed so strange.

"Sheldon…" – "Amy…" They started at the same time.

She smiled slightly. "Go on."

He sat his tea down on the table.

"Amy, I do not apologize often. But I guess tonight I have to."

She blinked at him. What would he have to apologize for?

"I manhandled you. I am sorry, Amy. It was inappropriate. I don't know what has gotten into me. This is not who I am."

She grinned. Oh, she knew that. But it had been kind of sexy.

"Don't worry, Sheldon. I did not mind."

"How can you not mind, Amy?", he reprimanded her. "You are a respected scientist. My equal. Intellectually and in every other way. I shouldn't be slapping your behind and demanding you to get me beer. This is not what I do. It is what…" He stopped.

She sat her own mug down now. Suddenly she felt this was about much more than just what had transpired before.

"What? What is it, Sheldon?", she asked carefully.

Grief washed over Sheldon's face.

"It does not matter. Just… I am sorry and it won't happen again."

She knew there was more to it. She had hardly ever seen Sheldon like this.

"Sheldon…", she whispered, and took his hand in hers.

"I'm tired.", he interrupted her. "I think, I'll better go to bed now."

He stood up on wobbly feet.

"I'll help you.", she offered.

She walked him to the bathroom and waited outside for him to get ready, then she helped him to his bedroom and tucked him in, watching him carefully.

Still, he was unusually quiet, looking so small in his bed, sadness visible in his eyes.

She did not like this. He had been so happy and funny before at Howard's place.

"Sheldon?", she asked and caressed his hair. "What's going on?"

"I wish it would have been my Dad tonight instead of Bernadette's", he whispered. "He would have loved this. Giving me my first beer and watching football with me."

"I can imagine.", she said carefully. Sheldon did not usually talk about his father. She could count the times he had mentioned him at all to her on one hand. It made sense now, him being sad like this. "You must miss him a lot."

Sheldon nodded. "I do. Even if he drank too much and acted stupid sometimes. He did not understand me most of the time, but he always tried."

She smiled. "Well, many parents don't understand their kids fully. Would you like to tell me more about him?"

He seemed to think about it for a while but shook his head then.

"No. I don't think I can. But he would have been thrilled, seeing me tonight. Surrounded by friends. Having fun. And he would have been ecstatic, meeting you."

She smiled.

"You think so?"

"Yes.", he nodded. "Seeing how happy I am. It's all he ever wanted for me. And I doubt he could imagine I would ever have so much happiness in my life."

"Oh, Sheldon.", she whispered.

He grasped her hand suddenly.

"I never want to cheat on you, Amy. I never want us to resent each other or make each other miserable."

Her eyes widened. Where was that coming from?

"You would never cheat on me, Sheldon. We both know that."

"Well, a day ago, I thought I would never get drunk and touch you inappropriately. So… what do I know?"

She couldn't help but chuckle lightly.

"Oh Sheldon. You had a few beers, watched a football game and slapped your girlfriend's behind once. And you called her great. Nothing about this was inappropriate."

"I lost control.", he argued. "I've never acted like this. Even those few times when I was drunk, I might have embarrassed myself but I never..."

He shook his head again and squeezed her hand tightly.

"Amy, I am afraid, all these things we are doing, the kissing and what it will lead to eventually, it might turn me into someone that I don't want to be."

"You mean someone like your father?", she asked, hoping not to upset him. It was the only explanation for his distress.

"Yes… Or no… I don't know.", he answered, shaking his head helplessly.

"It's okay to feel conflicted.", she assured him. "Look at my mother. I promised myself if I ever get to have kids, I will not be like her. That does not mean I don't love her though. I know she did her best and tried to protect me in her own misguided way."

He nodded. "I know he did his best too. He was not a bad guy. Just…", he sighed. "I am scared, Amy."

Her heart nearly beat out of her chest. He had told her about having difficulties or being scared before. But he had never let her look into his fears this deeply.

"Sheldon, you are the best and most honorable man I have ever met. And I lo… I admire you for who you are. I trust you, Sheldon. And if we keep on moving forward together, I know it will not change who you are. Or who I am. We're tackling those issues together. All of them. Right?"

He pulled her down to him and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

"I… I admire you too, Amy. For who you are."

She kissed him back just as softly. "Good. Now go to sleep."

He did not let go of her, instead he kissed her again, then he held her face as he whispered his next words.

"Amy? Do you think you could stay with me tonight?"

Her heart thumped. He had not asked her to stay since Leonard's return. This was big. And it was a good thing that Leonard had gone home with Alex earlier.

"Really?", she whispered hopefully.

"Yes.", he nodded. "I don't want you to leave. Please."

She could have cried for joy, hearing these words.

"Alright. I'll stay tonight."

"Good." He looked relieved.

"Do you need me to get you anything before you can sleep?", she asked, still stroking his hair. "Maybe some water?"

He shook his head.

"No. I have everything I need right here now."

She nodded.

"Alright. I'll go prepare Leonard's room then. Good night, Sheldon. See you in the morning."

With that, she kissed him one last time and left, barely hearing his answer.

"Oh… uhm… alright. Good night."

Penny

Oh, this was so embarrassing.

Cole had kindly accompanied her to Zack's place where they printed out the forms they needed to get their marriage annulled.

He had really been nice about it too and made some small talk with her former boyfriend - or dare she say husband.

She could only imagine how Leonard would have reacted.

He would have been mad. And rightfully so, considering how often she had said no to him when he had proposed.

Oh, she felt so stupid. So, so stupid.

Cole was probably thinking she was an idiot. Behind his nice smile, he was most likely thinking about ways to let her down gently now that he knew the truth about her.

"So, Penny. I'm curious…", he said as they walked back to her place.

Oh, no. Here it was.

"Curious about what?"

"Well, now I've met Zack, who you were dating a few years ago. And I also met Leonard who – other than being really bad at lying – seems to be… well, a lot smarter than Zack. So, I am wondering. What's your type?"

Was he serious?

"I don't think I have a type.", she replied after thinking about it for a while.

"I mean, I used to date guys that were very different from both, Zack and Leonard."

It was a good thing Cole had not met Kurt.

"So, how did you go from Leonard to Zack and back then?"

He did not sound jealous or condescending, just really curious.

She thought about it for a moment and decided to reply honestly.

"Leonard definitely was not my usual type when I moved in across the hall from him. He was so nice. Shy and a little insecure. But the smartest guy I had met until then. We were friends first before we got together. I broke up with him, because it got too intense for me. But I was heartbroken. That's when I met Zack. We… uhm… we were never serious, but we hooked up a few times before I got back together with Leonard."

They had arrived at her apartment building by now.

"So, you're saying, he was a rebound.", he stated while she got out her keys.

"I guess.", she admitted.

"That leads me to the question… why did you ask me out today?"

"Huh?"

"Well, are you looking for another rebound? Or are you looking for more?"

She swallowed deeply.

"Is it okay, if I tell you I don't know yet?", she asked sincerely. "I just know, I really enjoy spending time with you, Cole. And I'd love to go out again. I mean, if tonight wasn't too weird for you."

Cole chuckled.

"Are you kidding? Helping a girl end a marriage on our first date? That will be my new favorite anecdote."

They smiled at each other for a while.

"Thank you for your honesty, Penny. Quite frankly, I am not sure myself what I am looking for. I just know that I like you. A lot."

Her heart started beating faster.

"So… I guess you'll call me soon?"

It took everything she had not to invite him in. But she wanted to make better choices now. She would not sleep with him on their first date.

"I will.", he promised.

Then he leaned in and kissed her lips lightly.

It felt nice. Comfortable.

"Cole? Do you like video games?", she blurted out as he was turning to leave.

He looked at her surprised.

"I do.", he answered. "Why?"

She smiled. "No reason. See you soon."

"Good night.", he said before he left.

She walked up into her apartment and took a deep breath.

Yes, this was different.

Good different, she decided.

Sheldon

After Amy had left for Leonard's room, Sheldon lay awake for a long time.

This was not what he had meant, when he had asked her to stay.

"Do you think you could stay with me tonight?"

Was there anything ambiguous about this question?

He had wanted her to stay in his room. With him. Comfort him some more. Stroke his hair, hold him and maybe kiss him a little more. Tell him everything was going to be okay.

But she had been so quick about this. She had not even thought about staying in his room with him.

Probably because he had refused doing this for so long now.

And it was not like he had wanted to be intimate with her or something. It had just felt so good, the way she had understood him. He never wanted this feeling to go away.

He sighed and turned around in his bed, thinking back to the night when they had been holding hands after role-playing right here and he wished she were next to him right now.

The more time he spent with her, he could feel things shift.

More and more he kept giving her parts of himself. Kept confiding in her. Started seeing her as a person he wanted to have more of in his life. A lot more.

He had shared things with her today, that he had never shared with anyone before. He had never even consciously thought those things before.

There had never been a reason to. Because he had never expected to have someone like her by his side.

Part of the reason why he had told her all of this was probably the alcohol he had drank earlier. But it was not the only reason.

More and more, he was starting to understand why he wanted this. Wanted her.

My girlfriend. Mine.

He just had no idea what to do with this knowledge.

How to go about this. Which steps to take next.

He just knew, he had to take a step. Soon.

Next on "More Than Anything":

After his radio interview, Amy helps Sheldon deal with the unwanted attention. Her efforts cause an involuntary reaction. Sheldon finds himself struggling with unexpected emotions but in the end, he finds a way to express some things to Amy.