A/N: Among the many changes in my version of season 3, Regionals now happens before Valentine's Day (and way after Quinn's accident, of course). Per usual, expect to see most of the other characters' storylines thrown out, as it just doesn't lend itself to good writing to have so many stories going on. Just throwing in a friendly reminder, also: if you're reading, please leave me a review! And speaking of reading, my good friend and faithful reviewer, QuinnAbrams, has posted a new story - Getting To Know You: The Sibling Stories. Check it out!
"Your assignment for Valentine's week is to find and perform the world's greatest love songs," Mr. Schuester announced, writing 'LOVE' on the board.
Artie couldn't suppress his eye roll. Sure, it felt like Nationals was a long ways away, but it would be here before they knew it. And it was Nationals. Now wasn't the time for assignments to sing silly love songs for some contrived, consumer-driven holiday.
"Now, Nationals is a few months away, but we still need to raise another 250 dollars for costumes and hair spray..."
"Oh, God, not another bake sale," Kurt moaned, as Quinn caught Artie's eye in a fleeting moment and then looked away.
"If any student gives ten dollars, we will sing one of these 'world's greatest love songs' to their Valentine," Mr. Schue went on to say. "We will serenade each classroom..."
"NO!" Nearly everyone in the room, or at least those who knew and had lived the entire history of the club's existence under Mr. Schuester, shouted this in unison.
"Two years ago, we went room-to-room Christmas caroling and they threw food," Tina explained, for the benefit of those who didn't share in that particular experience.
"And shoes," added Mike, with a shudder.
At this, Sugar eagerly raised her hand.
"Yes, Sugar?"
She jumped to her feet and joined him at the front of the room. "Here's a spoonful of Sugar for you all," she said, winking at Artie, who checked to see that, yes, he was indeed the one she was looking at and not Rory. "Don't sweat the small stuff. And it's all small stuff when you're rich! So, here you go."
And she pulled her wallet out of her purse and drew out a couple of hundreds plus a fifty, thrusting that at an overwhelmed Mr. Schue.
"Uh, Sugar, I can't take that–" he started to say, but he was outnumbered by the voices of the Glee club.
"Take it!" they cried.
"Okay, well, everyone, give it up for Sugar for paying for our FinalNet and cumberbunds!" He said, as they all clapped while she did a little curtesy.
"I love the sound of applause, even if I have to buy it!" she exclaimed, happily. "Okay, everyone, look under your chairs. Except you two, Artie and Quinn. Your chairs kept moving, so I hid your surprises in the wastebasket."
And Artie exchanged a withering look with Quinn before heading over to the waste basket to retrieve the two heart shaped boxes of chocolate placed in there. Everyone else pulled them out from under their seats, save for Puck, who polished off the last of his, announcing he'd found it ten minutes ago.
"V-Day is my fave day ever," Sugar rambled on, as everyone dug into their chocolates. "And to help me celebrate, my daddy's throwing me a huge, ridic party at Breadstix. And I'm naming it the Sugar Shack. And... drum-roll Rachel..."
Rachel, who had been sitting in Finn's lap and letting him show her some beats on the drum before Glee club, obliged with a clumsy drum roll.
"... you're all invited!" she finished. "BUT... you have to bring a date. No single people allowed. They're sad and boring and they don't exist in my world."
"But you're single," Mercedes pointed out.
Sugar tilted the heart-shaped red glasses she'd just adorned in the midst of her speech and looked directly at Artie. "Not for long," she said.
Artie made sure to pretend he was in a hurry to leave when the bell signaled the end of after-school activities. Tina naturally caught up with him, Mike trailing along with her.
"Artie, wait up!" she said, as he reluctantly pulled back on his wheels and pivoted to face her. "Hey! Um, listen, I know this is the first opportunity for like, a date-type function, since... since Mackenzie..."
Artie forgot that Tina could be so perceptive and sensitive sometimes, one of the traits that first attracted to him (besides the fake stutter and the mere fact of her being pretty underneath the goth makeup). And she'd hit the nail on the head, identifying a feeling he hadn't even properly recognized himself. He realized this was where his cynical attitude towards Valentine's Day was coming from.
"Yeah..." he trailed off, waiting for her to finish the thought she'd apparently been leading up to.
"I just thought maybe you'd like to just, like, join me and Mike and be our date for Sugar's party," she concluded.
"This ranks right there with one of your worst ideas, Tee," he told her, trying to crack a joke. "Right there next to buying me tap shoes. Thanks, but no thanks. Pass. Besides, I mean, I could ask someone..."
"Sugar looked like she expects you to ask her," Mike observed. "She's kind of staring at you right now... pretending she's not waiting for us to leave you alone..."
Sure enough, Sugar was lingering nearby, as was Rory, who pretended to listen to Sam telling a very animated story, complete with huge gestures and facial expressions.
"Yeah, but she ditched you, Artie, at Homecoming," Tina needlessly reminded him. "Don't. Don't go with her. I don't care if it is her party, she- she doesn't deserve you. You could do better."
And Tina jerked her head in the direction of the choir room, just as Quinn pushed her way through the doorway with Santana and Brittany right behind her, the Trinity engaged in conversation just as they always had before all of the things that had once separated Quinn from the other two.
Artie realized if he didn't take care of the whole date situation now, then Sugar probably would ask him. And even though he wished to make it perfectly clear to Tina and anyone else who asked, that he was basically Quinn's big brother now and therefore would be asking her purely as a friend, there wasn't time to lay out the specifics. He just had to go over there and ask her, before he missed his chance.
"Hey Quinn, wheel you be my date to Sugar's party?" And he gestured, like a grinning idiot, to his wheel and then to hers, as Santana dissolved into hysterical laughter right then and there.
Artie couldn't believe what he'd just done. He was, apparently, that afraid to publicly ask someone out without making a self-deprecating joke. He pretended he hadn't just said something stupid and ignored Santana.
"Oh, uh, Artie that's-that's super kind of you," Quinn started, glancing over her shoulder and sending Santana a look meant to shush her. "But Joe just asked me. And I said I'd go with him."
It was like the moment when Harry Potter had asked out Cho Chang, only to find out that she was going to the Yule Ball with the handsome Cedric Diggory. Except that Artie hadn't seen this one coming at all. Joe Hart? Sophomore Joe Hart? Teen Jesus Joe Hart? That Joe Hart?
"Oh, uh, really?" Artie couldn't hide the fact that he was shocked because... because he was shocked. For all the reasons that had just run through his brain, but most importantly, the fact that he'd barely seen her interact with Joe, outside of the time he'd taken him along to visit her in the hospital.
Quinn didn't really acknowledge his surprise. "Yeah, we've been getting to know each other. He came with me to therapy all last week. He's been really helpful, actually."
"Oh." As Santana and Brittany and Tina and Mike all looked on, he could not have been more publicly shot down. And then Joe Hart appeared, as if on cue, forever pushing those dreadlocks out of his eyes as he grinned down at the both of them, unaware he'd just been the topic of conversation.
"Ready for therapy?" he asked, and Artie could not have been more alarmed. It looked like Joe Hart might have been treating Quinn's therapy like an opportunity to date her.
"Hey, Quinn, I'd like to come with you again soon, if it's alright," Artie blurted out, before he could really stop himself. He felt bad for sort of ditching her (okay, actually ditching her) last week, but he had no idea she'd gotten someone to take his place.
"Sure, of course," she said. "I'm nowhere near walking yet, but in time... hopefully." And then Quinn, who was clearly uncomfortable talking about therapy in front of all the people who were expecting her to dance by Nationals, pushed forward on her wheels timidly. "If you'll excuse me, I'd better get going. Don't want to be late for my appointment."
As they all watched her go, Joe taking over to push her chair when they were halfway down the hall, Artie felt a familiar twist in his stomach that was awfully similar to the way he'd felt when he found out Tina and Mike went behind his back at Asian camp last summer, to the way he'd felt when Sugar ditched him at Homecoming for someone she could actually dance with, to all the other times he'd ever been rejected.
"Your track record is awful," was the next comment, from a smirking Santana who seemed to think they'd reached the point where she could joke about these things, too.
"Here she comes, better do something..." Tina muttered, as Sugar approached the group.
"Hey Kurt!" Artie shouted suddenly, noticing their other friend coming out of the choir room, arm in arm with Blaine.
"Didn't see that one coming," Mike quipped.
But of course, Artie Abrams wasn't going to ask Kurt Hummel out, as plausible as some may have found the idea of him being gay. He'd just suddenly realized that he'd been meaning to tell the other boy something, and also, it seemed like a good opportunity to avoid Sugar.
"Hey, Kurt, hold up!" he called, as Kurt and Blaine stopped and turned to notice him approaching. "Hey. Listen, I wanted to talk to you. I know I said we could talk about a spring musical, but–"
"I know, Nationals," he said, cutting Artie off mid-sentence. "It's okay. I'm not upset about it, Artie. We absolutely can't divide our time when Nationals are at stake. It's my senior year, and that's the most important thing to me. Anyway, um, I have my NYADA audition soon. And whatever happens with that, I think I'm good."
And he smiled at Blaine. "We've got the whole junior-senior dilemma," Blaine further explained. "I mean, I told Kurt, if he goes to New York, I'll be fine. We'll be fine. But if he doesn't go next year, well, maybe we'll just both head out there when I graduate and see what happens."
"I'm not going to force anything," Kurt interjected. "So, Artie, though it pains me not to star in a musical by you – because you are an amazing director and I know your vision for any show would be perfect – I respect and agree with your decision to focus on Nationals."
"Oh." Artie was speechless. Kurt had sort of misunderstood his reason. Nationals was one factor, but there was something else, too. "No. Um. I've decided to play basketball again this spring."
He hadn't really mentioned it to anyone, except his parents, his sister, and Sam, who had been coaching him up in the mornings with Finn. But Jon Hubner had asked him again, and since Artie didn't want to miss Jon's last season to play before he left for college, it was now or never. Artie liked basketball, he did, but he didn't love it. He liked being an athlete again, though. That was most definitely his first love.
"Can't believe you pick sports over directing, Artie," Kurt said, shaking his head a little but smiling, clearly not mad about it. "But you have to do what you love. More power to you."
"Thanks," Artie said, grinning. And as he turned to head back to his friends, he had more of a reason to smile, since Sugar seemed to have grown tired of waiting for him to stop talking to other people and had left.
"What are you going to tell her when she asks?" Tina wanted to know.
"Look, she said at Homecoming that we looked weird together," Artie explained, emotionless as he said this now. "She said my legs are thinner than her arms and – sorry, Asperger's." (Tina gasped, horrified.) "My point being, why would she ask me now? Anyway, she won't ask me, because someone else will ask her first."
"Who?" Mike asked, as Artie grabbed his backpack off his chair and fished something out of the front pocket. He produced a small plastic baggie and smiled at the contents.
"Yo, Rory!" he called, as the Irishman averted his gaze from Sam. He held up the baggie, where he'd carefully stored the four-leaf clover Rory had given him before Homecoming. "Need this back? Because if you're asking Sugar, then you need all the luck you can get!"
Artie was the one who was in luck. Rory, it turned out, was clever and came in the next day with a sob story about not getting his visa renewed and therefore not being able to come back to McKinley next year. He dedicated his smooth rendition of "Home" by Michael Bublé to all of them, effectively earning tears and a standing ovation from Sugar. Sugar then declared that she "felt worse for Rory than she did for Artie" and asked him to be her date.
The rest of the week in Glee club consisted of everyone performing various love songs, in secret hopes that they'd be considered for Nationals, even though Mr. Schue claimed it was "too soon" to focus on picking their setlist just yet.
Quite predictably, Finn and Rachel sang something cheesy ("Don't Go Breaking My Heart" by Elton John and Kiki Dee). Mercedes, who was still reeling from a recent and apparently difficult breakup with Shane, secured the auditorium for the best possible acoustics to sing "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston. Mike and Tina had prepared a cute rendition of Nat King Cole's "L-O-V-E," which Mike actually sounded great on, his vocals becoming better and better, the more time he spent singing in Glee club.
Artie knew he needed to sing something. He just couldn't keep the cynic away. He considered something sexy, with a cool vibe, something like "Let Me Love You" by Mario. But being that Ne-Yo co-wrote that song, he wound up singing something decidedly more bitter. "So Sick" by Ne-Yo fit the bill.
"I'm so sick of love songs, so tired of tears, so done with wishing you were still here. Said, I'm so sick of love songs, so sad and slow. So why can't I turn off the radio?"
It earned him spotty applause and a furrowed brow from Mr. Schue, coupled with the question: "Artie, are you okay?"
Artie felt his face growing hotter by the minute. He quickly wheeled himself off the floor, not sure how to answer that without his teacher writing him a pass to see their guidance counselor. "Of course," he said. "That's... I just wanted to do something a little different, that's all."
He was glad Kurt and Blaine took the floor next, because their peppy rendition of "Love Shack" was just what they needed to bring the mood back up. Sugar jumped up and down, leading the room in a standing ovation, and insisted that the guys perform that at her party.
"We've got one more performance for the love song challenge," Mr. Schue announced. "Quinn, Joe. The floor is yours."
Artie, despite saying he wanted to go to physical therapy with Quinn again soon, had yet to go with her. He'd told himself that Joe was probably a better person to go with her anyway. Because was it actually encouraging, for someone who was trying to walk again, to bring along a friend who was never going to walk again?
Despite the fact that he'd just asked Quinn out on a Valentine's Day date and despite the fact that Joe was spending time with her daily, Artie really didn't see a Quinn and Joe love song coming, and definitely not one like this.
"A few stolen moments is all that we share. You've got your family and they need you there. Though I've tried to resist, being last on your list, but no other man's gonna do. So I'm saving all my love for you..."
As they finished "Saving All My Love," made popular by Whitney Houston but originally by some couple in the 70's, Artie was again unsure about how to describe the twisting feeling in his stomach. He should have been happy about Quinn finding a new guy. Maybe it was the big brotherly part of him that just had high standards for said guy, standards that Joe Hart couldn't touch.
That was all they had time for today. Artie felt kind of guilty for bringing them down with his anti-love song and making Mr. Schuester question his emotional stability. He just tried to be the first one out of there when the bell rang.
"Dude, I was going to ask Mercedes to the party," Sam suddenly said, appearing beside him, hoisting his backpack on his shoulder and falling into step next to Artie's chair. "But now I'm not so sure. She just sang 'I Will Always Love You,' which means she's obviously not over Shane."
"Or maybe she means she never actually got over you," Artie suggested. "Only one way to find out. Anyway, just ask her to go as a friend and see what happens."
"Like you were gonna do with Quinn," Sam offered.
"What?" Artie stopped abruptly, causing Sam to stop, too. "No, is that what it looked like? No, I was genuinely asking her as a friend. C'mon, Sam, you live with me, you're with me enough to understand my motives, right?"
"My bad, I guess I read the situation wrong the other day," Sam said, holding his hands up. "Anyway, doesn't matter now. Looks like things are getting pretty serious between Quinn and Joe."
"How?" Artie shook his head, glancing around to make sure nobody was listening, then went on. "He's a sophomore. No senior should be dating a sophomore. It's especially weird when the guy is younger."
Sam shrugged. "Well, I kind of talked to Joe in the weight room earlier today," he admitted. "Sounds like he's pretty into her. In fact..." Sam looked around. "Well, he said... I don't know if you want to know all this..."
Artie leaned forward. "If there's something to know, I want to know," he said.
"Not here." Sam looked around. "Follow me. I'll tell you in the car."
In the parking lot, he ran into Quinn, as he was unloading his chair and getting into his car. She was riding with Mercedes today, and Mercedes had borrowed the temporary handicap placard for the window. She'd parked right by Artie.
"Great song!" he said, with a little too much phony enthusiasm to sound like he meant it.
Quinn giggled. "Thanks, um, I liked yours, too," she said. "It definitely suited your voice and I thought it was funny, given the theme."
At least one person thinks I'm funny, Artie thought, exchanging a brief look with Sam.
"Hey, listen," she went on. "I, uh... Joe can't go with me to therapy tomorrow. He's busy. And my mom's busy... and my sister... and well, I might get to stand with the bars. I haven't done that yet, so I wanted someone to be there, and I just thought–"
Artie stopped her rambling, feeling instantly guilty that he'd given her the idea he didn't want to be there. "Quinn, of course," he said. "It'll be my honor. I'm happy to take you and be there."
She beamed brightly at him. "Thanks, Artie."
Once he and Sam were both in the car and Artie had backed out of his parking spot, they could safely and privately resume their conversation in the hall.
"What's so secretive that you couldn't tell me in the hall?" Artie wanted to know.
Sam took a deep breath and began relaying the conversation he'd had with Joe earlier that day in the weight room.
"You want to lift?" Joe had asked Sam.
"Actually wanted to talk to you about Quinn," Sam had countered. "You dig her. I can tell. Everyone can. And I think she's into you, too."
"Seriously?" Joe exclaimed. "How do you know?"
"I used to date her," Sam explained.
"So, when you dated her, how did you handle your... feelings?" Joe asked, so innocently that Sam wasn't immediately sure what he meant.
"Here's the thing about me," Sam told him. "I can be super helpful, but when you ask me stuff, you have to be real specific."
At this, Joe had sighed deeply before launching into his explanation. "When I was with Quinn at her rehab," he began. "I was having... feelings."
You mean like 'in your pants' feelings?" Sam had to clarify the phrase, because with this weird dude, there was no telling.
"I've been homeschooled my whole life!" Joe hurried to defend himself. "It was a lot easier to resist temptation when there were no girls around."
"Stop! Stop!" Artie cried, having heard enough. "Are you serious? Gross! He's supposed to be helping her with therapy, not getting himself all aroused and... UGH!"
Now Artie was actually able to identify his feeling. He was mad. He'd failed as a big brother, if he'd let this guy prey on Quinn at her most vulnerable. Sam could tell and probably regretted telling Artie that story.
"What are you gonna do?"
"If I was able to?" Artie asked, feeling angrier and angrier, the more he thought about it. "Kick his ass!"