"Oh my god, Rollins!" Olivia exclaimed as she sat back from the table, one hand on her full belly. "If I knew you could cook like that, I'd have invited you to live here sooner!"
Amanda laughed at the brunette's enthusiasm. "Every southern woman is taught how to cook very early in life," She explained. "We are taught that it's the best way to please your man, and besides, what else are you gonna do all day when you are waiting for your husband to get home?" She said in a mocking tone.
Liv chuckled at the blonde's disdain for her southern roots and the 1950s approach to modern family life. "Well I'm sure you'll make someone a fine wife someday, Manda. Or you would have done, but now I've tasted your cooking, I'm never letting you leave."
It was Amanda's turn to laugh this time, although part of her wouldn't mind if Olivia wanted to hold her captive for the rest of her days. She had made a rich, tomato-based chicken dish that she told Liv was called Brunswick stew, with homemade cornbread, and both Olivia and Noah had devoured it. Noah was still happily stuffing small pieces of cornbread into his mouth. "Mmm, mmm, Manna." He smiled as he brandished a piece at her.
When they were all done, Liv insisted on clearing up. When Amanda protested, she mimicked the blonde's action's from earlier, steering the younger woman to the sofa, then plonking Noah down beside her. He immediately crawled into her lap, "'toons Manna?" He asked, looking up at her expectantly. Drawing a blank, she looked over at Liv, wordlessly asking for a translation. Olivia smiled, "he wants to watch some cartoons," she explained. "Alright, sweet boy, you can watch cartoons until mommy finishes cleaning, then it's time for your bath."
After twenty minutes or so of watching Cartoon Network with Noah, Amanda found herself getting sleepy. When Liv collected the boy to take him for his bath, she decided to take Frannie for a quick walk around the block before showering and getting ready for bed herself.
Once dressed in a pair of red plaid pyjama pants and a plain black racer back tank top, she made her way back to the kitchen to grab herself a glass of water. As she did so, Olivia came out of Noah's bedroom where he and Frannie were now tucked up in bed.
The older woman let out a small gasp as she watched the blonde reach up to the high cabinet to retrieve a glass. The toned musculature of her shoulders and upper back rippled as she stretched. Liv could see the uneven star shaped scar below the blonde's left shoulder blade, where she had been shot by a sniper almost two years ago. The mark stood out a slightly paler shade than the surrounding skin.
Amanda looked around at the sound of Olivia's gasp. "Sorry Liv, I didn't mean to startle you. Just came to get a glass of water." She smiled, waving the tumbler in her hand as proof.
"My fault," Liv murmured, "sorry I just saw the scar on your back. I'm ashamed to say I had forgotten you had it." She hung her head.
"It's okay, Liv," The blonde said, using her forefinger to pull Liv's chin up, forcing chocolate brown eyes to meet her own sapphire ones. "We've both been through a whole hell of a lot in the last couple of years. I'm sure you have scars that I've forgotten or don't know about."
Now facing one another, Liv could see the smaller, neater scar on the front of the younger woman's shoulder where the bullet had entered. "Does it still hurt?" She asked absently stroking the smaller mark with the pad of her thumb, her mind lost in thoughts of scars.
"My shoulder occasionally feels a little stiff," Amanda shrugged, her skin tingled where Olivia's thumb grazed it, "especially in colder weather. Lucky that I shoot right-handed, I guess…" her voice trailed off, and she could see that Olivia wasn't fully paying attention to what she was saying.
Liv, suddenly realising she was staring and touching her detective rather inappropriately, dropped her hand and took a step back, "sorry…" she mumbled, clasping her hands behind her back, as though worried she would be tempted to reach out and touch the blonde again if she didn't.
"I don't mind, Liv," Amanda assured her. She had seen the glassy look in her superior's deep soulful eyes when she had mentioned scars. "Where'd ya go just now?" She asked quietly.
Olivia barked a single, somewhat hollow, chuckle. "It's nothing, just thinking about… scars."
Amanda waited for the brunette to elaborate, but it soon became clear there was no explanation forthcoming. Rollins knew Olivia well enough by now to know that she shouldn't push her to talk. Olivia would come to her when she was ready. The two women were very similar in this regard. So she simply said, "If you ever need to talk, Liv, you know where I am, okay?" She briefly cupped the older woman's shoulder with her palm, smiling comfortingly at her, then turned to the refrigerator to fill her glass from the water filter.
"I'm fine, but thanks," Liv said in a quiet voice, giving herself a little shake. "Goodnight, Manda."
"Night, Liv," Amanda replied, recognising the dismissal, she headed off towards her room.
Olivia watched her go, and after a few seconds she turned off the lights and went to her own room, closing the door firmly behind her. She leaned against it, letting her head drop back to the wood with a low thud, and let out a sigh. Get a grip, Benson, she told herself, she's not interested in you. Shaking her head she began to dress for bed, avoiding the full-length mirror in the corner of her room.
Meanwhile, in the guest room down the hall, the blonde was running her right hand lightly over her left shoulder, which still felt warm where the brunette had rested her hand only moments earlier. Sighing to herself, she scooted down the bed and turned off the bedside lamp. Get a hold of yourself, Rollins, the younger woman thought to herself, even if Liv swung that way, she wouldn't be interested in you. You're damaged goods now, remember? She rolled onto her side, curling into a defensive ball, and fell into an uneasy sleep.
Amanda was woken in the early hours by the ringing of her cell phone. She opened her eyes, squinting at the clock which read 3.22am, then reached for the noisy object on the bedside table. Seeing Fin's name on the caller ID she answered, knowing she was being called in for a case.
"Rollins," she rasped, voice rough with sleep. "No worries…which hospital? Okay, I'll meet you there in a half hour."
She dressed quickly and quietly, grabbed her badge and cuffs from the bedside drawer, then ran into a problem. Her gun was in Olivia's lockbox in the lieutenant's bedroom. Amanda couldn't go to work without it, she would have to wake Liv up as she had no idea where the key was, nor precisely where the lockbox was located. She didn't like the idea of sneaking around her boss' room while the older woman slept in any case.
Squaring her shoulders, she made her way to Olivia's door and knocked quietly. When she received no answer she knocked again, louder this time. Still nothing. She checked her watch; she was already cutting it fine to get across to Mt Sinai within the time she had told her partner. She took a deep breath and pushed open the door to Olivia's room. "Liv?" She hissed, trying to rouse the brunette without startling her.
No response, she crept forward, just able to make out the shapeless mass in the bed inside the unfamiliar room. The blonde made her way to the side of the bed, she was about to reach out to shake the lieutenant awake, when the brunette spoke.
"No…please…not again…please…leave me alone!" She muttered, her head shifting restlessly from side to side.
"Liv?" Amanda said, realising the older woman must be having a nightmare. Nothing. Louder this time, "Olivia!"
The brunette sat bolt upright, gasping as if she had just emerged from freezing water, eyes wide. She jumped and scrambled backwards when she saw the figure stood by her bed.
"Liv, it's okay," Amanda tried in a low unthreatening tone, crouching down by the bed to make herself look smaller. "It's just me. It's just Amanda."
"Amanda?" Liv asked, still breathing heavily, clutching the duvet to her chest. "Jesus, Rollins, you scared the crap outta me! What's wrong? What are you doing in here?"
"Sorry, Liv," Amanda apologised, blushing, "I tried knocking but I guess you didn't hear." She decided not to mention the older woman's nightmare, not wanting to embarrass her friend. "Fin called me, Potential DV at Mt Sinai. I gotta go, but my gun is in your lockbox…" she trailed off lamely.
"Right," Olivia, recovered now, ran a hand through her sleep tousled locks. "Lockbox…key… just a sec." she fumbled in the bedside drawer for a few seconds then got up and headed to the walk-in closet. A moment later she returned, handing over Amanda's Glock 19 along with the clip.
"Thanks, Liv." With practiced ease, Amanda pulled back the slide, locking it in place. She checked the magazine was full before loading it into the grip, then released the slide catch, checked the safety was on then holstered her weapon on her right hip. "I better get goin'." She said in a low voice, and headed to the bedroom door, the brunette padding out behind her, arms crossed over her chest to ward off the late night, or, more accurately, early morning chill.
"Keep me informed," Liv whispered, not wanting to disturb the sleeping toddler in the next room as she followed the blonde down the hall towards the front door. "Let me know before you make any arrests." She seemed to have a sudden thought, "wait." She dived sideways into the kitchen, and came back holding out a cereal bar to the blonde detective. "In case you don't get time to eat." She explained.
Amanda was touched by the thoughtful gesture from her boss. Even though the very thought of food right now made her feel nauseous, she took the bar and put it in her jacket pocket. "Thanks, Liv, I—". She was cut short by a clicking sound as Frannie made her way out of Noah's room to her owner's side. "Shit, Frannie, what am I gonna do with you?" The blonde said, more to herself than anything.
"She's fine here, Manda," Liv said, with a small smile. "I'll keep an eye on her."
"Are you sure?" Amanda asked, doubtfully. She didn't want to put Liv out any more than she already was by being there.
"Of course, She's no trouble. Noah and I will take her for a… W-A-L-K in the morning." Liv grinned, spelling the word so that Frannie wouldn't start getting over excited.
"Thanks Liv." Amanda gave the brunette's upper arm a gentle squeeze. "I'll come back to pick her and the rest of my stuff up later, when I can pick up my truck from the precinct. Right now I gotta go."
Before Olivia could object to that plan, the blonde was out the door and off to work. The lieutenant and the pit bull looked at one another. "I don't know why she is so determined to leave." Liv said to the dog. "Is it really so bad being here?"
Frannie's only response was to turn around and go back to Noah's bed. "Well at least you seem comfortable here." Liv muttered as she shuffled back to her bedroom and crawled back under the covers.